It came out kind of stupid, but I had to do this. LOL.
Of Pyrophobiacs and Bunnies
Axel had no clue why he was in a psych ward for pyropobiacs. He just knew that he had to go to the bathroom. Really bad.
Problem was, the line to the bathroom was REALLY, REALLY long. And Axel had to go.
REALLY BAD.
This is worse than the time when I had to listen to Roxas get all sugar-highed and sing the Barney theme song for hours on end. The pyro thought, eyes twitching. What were those people DOING in there? Didn't they know someone was waiting out here to USE THE PLACE?
Wait. This place was huge. There had to be another bathroom somewhere.
Axel teleported to the next floor, trying so hard not to pee himself that he didn't care who saw him.
This floor had a bathroom. And the line was longer than the other one.
That's when he spotted the sign on the wall.
In Case of Fire, evacuate in an orderly fashion. Do not stay inside, and do not use elevators. If you see a fire, please pull the alarm, alert authorities by screaming 'FIRE' and run for your life. If you are trapped , put your head between your knees and kiss your behind goodbye.
Have a nice day!
A yellow smiley-face sticker was placed underneath it, a totally stupid and random thing. Who in there right mind would a smiley-face under a poster telling you you could die in this place? That was so...
Perfect! Screw all these pyrophobiacs, he would just-
Wait. Why would they have a poster like that in a hospital full of pyrophobiacs? That made no sense whatsoever. That's like telling them they came here to die by their worst fear, or something.
Ah, screw it. He REALLY had to go. So what if the place went up in flames? At least he could go to the bathroom. And hopefully, not in his underwear.
So he pulled a chakram out of thin air and swung it, releaseing a pathtic, small, unuseable flame.
"Oh, come on, I JUST CHARGED the batteries!" He whined, swinging it again.
This time, a string of flame came out, but it hit the water fountain.
"What the heck does a guy have to do to go to the bathroom around here?" Axel whined for the millionth time, doing what seemed to be the Irish jig and swung the chakram again.
That's how the hallway got set on fire.
"FIRE!" Axel yelled, excited at both the sight of the flames and the prospect of being able to relieve himself.
No one moved.
"FIRE!" Axel yelled again, once again to no response. The pyropobiacs continued standing in front of the door.
"HELLO, PEOPLE! FIRE IN THE HOSPITAL! THE HALLWAY RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, AS A MATTER OF FACT!"
No one moved or said a word. Axel, thoroughly annoyed, walked over and pulled the alarm.
A sound like a klaxon horn going off passed through the hallways, followed by a ton of nurses running up to the pyrophobiacs and pulling at them to go outside. Of course, once the all saw the fire, they went absolutely bonkers, pointing and screaming and crying. Axel laughed. These people were missing out.
"Sir, you'd better leave."
Axel turned around. A short nurse with glasses and brown hair was standing behind him.
"But I have to go to the bathroom-" he glanced at her tag "-Rebbecca."
"Listen, you. I don't care if you have to get a face lift after this, you are COMING WITH ME."
"But..."
His protests were drowned in the screaming of the pyrophobiatic chaos.
"Can't these people HEAR themselves?" Axel muttered.
"Nope."
Axel turned to the nurse. "What do you mean, no?"
"No, as in, their deaf."
He blinked and thought a minute. "So, let's get this straight. You have an obnoxiously loud fire alarm, and the people can't even hear it?"
"Yep. Crazy, isn't it?" The nurse shook her head. "It's mainly to get idiots like you that decide to scream 'fire' so they could go to the bathroom. No one's ever actually set fire to the place, though."
Axel's eyes widened. "How'd you..."
The nurse pulled out a police badge. "You just told me. Sorry, but you're going to have to come downtown with me."
Axel put on a puppy-dog face and whined "But I really have to go!
"Sing it to the judge, honey."
"I have friends with mind- control powers! I'll just break out!"
"Yeah, and I have evil pet bunnies that hate guys with red hair."
"Bu-bunnies?" Axel's eyes widened. "I d-d-don't l-l-l-ike b-b-b-b-b-unnies."
"Oh, but why not? They're so cute and cuddly and they eat carrots..." Rebbecca went of on a speech about bunnies and how cute they were, and Axel shivered. Bunnies were so freaking scary and cute and fluffy, reminding him of the time Larxene put one in his room.
"AHHHHH! I WAS KIDDING BOUT THE MIND- CONTROL THING!" He shouted, unable to stand the thought of bunnies any longer.
"Really? I wasn't kidding about the bunnies."
A small, cute, adorably unharmable bunny peeked from behind the nurse's leg, and Axel screamed.
"NO! MAKE IT STOP! I'LL NEVER MAKE FUN OF YOU AGAIN, LARXENE, JUST MAKE IT STOP! NOT BUNNIES! PLEASE!"
"Fine, just stop acting like a total idiot, will you? It's rather scary."
Axel looked up to see Larxene looking at him like he was crazy.
"BUNNIES!" Axel shouted, burying his face in his knees.
"Oh, 'comon, that was funny. Who would have thought that the fiery, untamable Axel would be scared of bunnies?"
"BUNNIES!" He shouted again, in tears.
"Fine, fine." Larxene turned and shot her throwing knives at the small, furry creature, killing it instantly. "Now will you stop?"
"HOW DARE YOU KILL MY-"
"Ah, shut up, lady." Larxene said to the nurse, then turned to Axel. "One more thing, why is it every time we go to visit Vexen's mother, you set the hospital on fire? I really hate calling Demyx to put the thing out. I can't look at the wretch without wanting to slice his throat." She made a motion at her throat as if it were the blond himself.
"I REALLY had to go." Axel pouted. He'd been doing that a lot in the past hour.
"Well, great. Go to the bathroom and then go back to the castle, will you? I'm sick of this place." Larxene teleported out and Axel stood up.
"You know, there's something funny about that. I don't have to go anymore..."
LOL. R&R, and especially tell me if I put Larxene in character!
Love,
RCK
