Author Notes: I don't own Harry Potter and I'm not making any money on this. Also, I used some actual quotes from the books so anything that is written correctly and with talent most likely belongs to JK Rowling. As for my reviewers, thank you so much! You're too kind and I greatly appreciate the reviews! Also, I uped the rating just to be on the safe side...if there's something terribly graphic in a chapter, I'll give you fair warning. ;-)

Redemption from the Past

Chapter Two: Buried Secrets

March, 1979

She had found a rundown apartment building in northern Scotland and a job as a waitress in the corner pub. Most of the tenants in the building and the customers of the pub paid no attention to her growing stomach. She had tried to hide it best she could but after seven and a half months, there was nothing more she could do to conceal her pregnancy. Thankfully, everyone was so miserable with the cold, wet weather that they paid her no mind. Except for the woman who lived below her in the dilapidated building.

Leah's water broke in the kitchen of the pub and thankfully she was able to say it was overflow from the sink where dishes were soaking. She helped the bus boy mop it up and waited out her contractions in the broom closet. Once her shift was over, she made her way to her apartment but collapsed on the stairs two floors away from her place. That was when Fiona found her. Apparently, Fiona had heard her crying in the stair well and had been watching her for the last couple weeks, waiting for the birth to happen. In a haze of pain, Leah allowed Fiona to help her up to her apartment and get her settled into bed.

"Why," Leah panted, trying to get herself past another contraction, "why are you helping me? You don't know me."

Fiona tossed her thick, red braid over her shoulder and stuffed pillows behind Leah, forcing her into a sitting position. "I used to be a mid-wife in Ireland."

"Used to be?"

"A child of a wealthy woman was stillborn and she accused me of not doing enough to help her child. She had much power and destroyed my reputation. Trust me," she laid a hand on Leah's stomach, "you both are in good hands."

Considering her choices were to do this on her own or to trust the quiet Irish woman, Leah opted to put her faith in Fiona. She was nineteen, about to give birth and wanted her mother. She told the older woman where the towels, pots and scissors were. She didn't necessarily want to know what everything was for, even if the pain she was feeling was stealing words from her.

Fiona coached her through the tidal waves of contractions, giving her encouragements in her thick Irish brogue. Leah hadn't noticed what time it was when the labor started but by the time dawn was breaking, her child came screaming into the world. Exhausted, she fell back against the pillows, a different type of pain settling into her chest now. She hadn't seen her mother for eight months now and desperately wished that her mother could take part in the joy and accomplishment that just been fulfilled.

Fiona cleaned and bundled the squirming infant before laying her in Leah's arms. "Congratulations," the mid-wife said, "you have a daughter."

Leah barely heard her as she stared down in the curious black eyes that had stopped shedding tears and looked up at her with interest. Despite the shot of pain and anger she felt at how Severus had left without a word nine months ago, there was a sense of calm that permeated the bittersweet feeling. She was holding his daughter, their daughter.

"Have you thought of any names?" Fiona asked, gathering up the bloodied towels and sheets.

Leah wanted a name that resembled Severus' since the child had his dark hair and onyx eyes. But she had never come across a name that she liked until she realized just how calm everything. "Serena. I think I'll call her Serena."

"That's a beautiful name."

Leah looked up at the older woman and reached out with her free hand, clasping the woman's thin wrist. "Thank you. I never would have been able-"

"I know," Fiona patted her hand. "I've missed watching babies come into this world so much. When I saw you entering and leaving the building, I realized why I came here. It was to help you."

"How can I repay you? I don't have much."

"Well," Fiona sat down on the side of the bed, "you'll still have to work and will need someone to watch over Serena. Allowing me to watch your precious little girl will be reward enough. And," she looked good naturedly shy, "dinner every once in while would be nice. I smell your cooking all the time and it's everything I have in me not to come knocking on your door."

Leah leaned her head back against the pillows, too tired to keep it upright anymore. "I think that's a very fair trade."

March, 1980

He wouldn't have even been in the Hog's Head if it hadn't been for the metamorphagus prostitute who claimed she could look like anyone he wanted. He was twenty, scared and needed something to do to work off the tension. He was certain if Bellatrix thought he was high strung she would take him out on one of her torture binges on muggles that last for hours into the night. Once was more than enough for him before he had to find ways to cope with his ill made decision. The leering look of the woman in the shadows might provide just that.

The only thing that he constantly carried with him, aside from his wand, were two pictures: one of Lily and one of Leah. No matter how many times he told himself Leah was merely a fill in for Lily, his emotions contradicted him. Lily was completely lost to him now that she had married Potter and last he heard, she was expecting her first child. He refused to refer to it as "their" child. But Leah was still out there, or so he hoped. He had actually spied on their home in Spinner's End, unbeknownst to anyone there. He had seen Sarah exit and enter the house but there was no trace of Leah whatsoever. He hadn't heard of any of the Death Eater's torturing or killing a woman that fit Leah's description so he had hoped she had merely blended in with everyone and would remain untouched. He surprised himself by pulling out the picture of Leah for the prostitute.

"One hour, Hog's Head. Look like her," was what he said to the woman before continuing on his way. He still had to pick up some potion supplies from Dervish and Banges. Once that task was taken care of, he made his way to the Hog's Head. It wasn't much of a pub but it was dark and those who wanted to go unnoticed could. He didn't even ask the bartender what room the woman had gone into, he merely shuffled through drink orders and found the train of thought that concerned the woman and found out what room she went to before he silently went up the stairs to the appropriate door. He stepped through the door and felt his breath leave him. True to her word, she was the mirror image of Leah.

"She's very pretty," she said. "What's her name?"

Severus forced himself to breath. "It's not important."

She shrugged, dropped her robe and sat down on the bed. "I suppose not. Feel free to look all you want, but keep in mind," she winked, "I charge by the hour."

His chest hurt and he wondered if he was having a heart attack. He had memorized every inch of Leah with his hands and eyes, wishing with everything in him that it could have been Lily. Now, he was staring at Leah's doppelganger wanting only Leah herself. He tried to convince himself that this really was Leah but the way she draped herself on the bed, so full of confidence, was nothing like the woman he remember. Leah had been shy, always attempting to cover herself up from his view, as if she wasn't good enough for him. The look in these blue eyes was distant, as if he were merely one in many for that night but the look in Leah's had always made him feel like he was the only one.

He was afraid he was going to start hyperventilating at any moment. Everything came crashing down on him at that moment. He didn't want to be a Death Eater. He didn't want to be with this woman who looked like someone who had loved him but felt nothing for him. He wanted to be a normal man with a normal job and, even though he was the last person to deserve it, a family. He didn't want to be what he had become.

"What's the matter, hun?" She looked down at the flawless skin that covered her curvy body. "Did she had a birthmark somewhere?"

"On her left shoulder blade."

"How big?"

He hadn't even realized he had spoken till she responded to him. He plunged his hand into his robes and pulled out the bag that contained his money. His hands were shaking so hard and he couldn't even think about counting it out so he just tossed it onto the bed next to her. "I can't do this. I'm sorry," he mumbled before slipping right back out the door.

He would have fled from the pub completely but as he passed by one of the doors, he heard someone shout and it caused him to pause. The hallway was deserted at the moment so he took the chance to listen at the door. Pressing his ear against the door he heard what sounded like the harsh, hoarse voice of woman.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…and the Dark Lord-"

Someone grabbed him from behind and yanked him off his feet. It startled him so much he kicked out his foot to find the floor again only to have it connect with the door, sending the door open with a loud bang. Severus caught sight of a woman wrapped in shawls and large glasses as well as a very surprised Albus Dumbledore.

"I, uh, I went the wrong way," he sputtered, "I went the wrong way up the stairs."

"Like hell you did," the bar keep said, keeping a firm hold on the back of Severus' robes.

"There you are," a woman's voice broke through the pandemonium. "I told you to go right, not left at the top of the stairs."

Severus saw the prostitute, now sporting short brown hair around a pixie like face, coming down the hallway. An immense rush of gratitude went out to her.

The bartender gave Severus a shake. "You know him?"

"Yes, I do. We were suppose to have a romantic meeting but," she shrugged, "the kids won't go to bed for my sister so we'll have to try again next week."

The bartender gave Severus a hard look before releasing him. The door slammed shut once more and the woman looped her arm through Severus', leading him down the stairs and out into the cold, wet night. He waited until they were a safe distance from the Hog's Head before extracting his arm from hers.

"Thank you."

She nodded. "Your welcome. Here. I didn't take any of it out." She handed him his pouch of money back.

He gave her a confused look as he slipped it back into his robes. She smiled sadly.

"I see a lot of men," she started, "who want that one last time with someone they've lost. Every single time, I see them live their fantasy and leave emptier than when they walked through the door. I never understood how they could have that little respect for someone they claimed to love."

Severus hung his head. What had he been thinking? He felt the woman lay her hand on his arm and he turned to look at her.

"You truly loved her. You didn't carry through because you had too much respect for her. I could see it on your face. Did she die?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I hope you two find each other again."

"That's not very likely."

"Listen, sometimes the most unlikely things happen. The key is to survive long enough until it happens."

"Survive?"

She smiled wisely. "That's right, sweetie. Survive."

He watched her blend back into the shadows and stood there thinking about what she said to him. Survive. That was the only way he could ever find out what happened to Leah. Or possibly he could outlive James, giving him a second chance with Lily…either way, he would have survive to see the end of this. He replayed what he overhead at the Hog's Head and realized the woman must have given a prophecy, an authentic one from the sounds of it. He could not tell the Dark Lord and allow this child to grow up and finally defeat him, ending this reign of terror. But what would happen to him if the Dark Lord found out he knew of this prophecy and failed to report it back to him?

But what if he was the one to report the prophecy to the Dark Lord? That would surely raise him through the ranks, wouldn't it? If the prophecy turned out to be authentic and the Dark Lord was able to act on his word, he would be the most revered out of all the Death Eaters. That was really his only way to ensure his survival.

October, 1981

"I want my mom!" It seemed like such a childish thing to say but it was the only thing that mattered to her right now. Fiona put an arm around Leah and squeezed her.

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

Leah was inconsolable though. "I don't know what I did. What did I do, Fiona?"

"Nothing, sweetheart. You did everything you were suppose to do."

Leah sank down into a chair at the Edinburgh Accident Department. Serena had been fussy all evening since Leah had gotten home. By the time she had put her in her crib, Serena had a fever. An unknown type of fear settled in Leah's stomach and she immediately went down to Fiona's apartment to ask for help. The Irish woman had applied cold compresses but the fever only increased. It was then that they took a long cab ride to Edinburg, taking most of their weekly paychecks. The nurses had taken Serena from her and hadn't been out in the last two hours. Leah was beside herself.

"Leah?" Fiona asked quietly.

"What?"

The older woman pointed to the doors leading into the Accident Department. Leah looked up and couldn't believe her eyes. Her mom was scanning the room with wide, scared eyes. She jumped up from her seat and ran over to her mother, throwing her arms around her. The two women clung to each other, one in relief, one in desperation. Finally, Leah pulled back and swiped at her eyes.

"How did you know I was here?"

Sarah kept a hand on her daughter's arm, as if she might disappear once again. "A woman named Fiona called me. She said you would be here, in the hospital."

"How…" Leah turned around to see Fiona walking towards them.

"I found your mother's phone number a few months ago. I wasn't certain what happened between the two of you but I knew she would want to be here now."

"What's going on, Leah?" Sarah looked over at her daughter. "Are you hurt?"

Leah shook her head. "No, no it's not me. It's Serena."

"Who's Serena?"

Leah took a great shuddering breath. "She's my d-daughter."

A knowing look came over Sarah's face and she pulled Leah back into her arms. "That's why you left. Leah, why?"

"I didn't want anyone to take her from me."

"Ms. Wainright?"

Leah spun around to see a doctor looking for her. She walked over to the doctor, aware that her mother was behind her. All she heard that made sense to her was "I'm sorry, she didn't make it." She reached around her and grabbed onto her mother's arm.

"Mom, I don't…what…" then her knees gave out and she fell to the polished floor. "I can't lose her. She's all I have."

"Leah, I-."

"No," Leah shook her head, burying it into her mother's shoulder. "No. She's all I have left of him." She thought that when Severus left, nothing could ever hurt that much. She didn't realize she had been so terribly wrong.


"You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"

"DON'T!" bellowed Snape. "Gone…dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

No, old man, he thought to himself, this is pain. Too much pain…I can't even breathe. Lily…there was no way now I can prove myself to her…win her back. "I wish…I wish I were dead."

"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

Was it? Was anything clear right now? The only thing that was clear to him was that the amount of pain in this world far outweighed the happiness. What to do now…he had plenty of potions in his stocks, some would allow him to die peacefully, others would draw it out, making it excruciating. Perhaps he would go that way, surely nothing could hurt worse than this.

Survive.

The words of the woman, who he never found out her real name, came back to him. Survive. Keep going to see an unlikely thing suddenly become likely. Perhaps there was a way not to lose Lily forever. It didn't distinguish the pain but it made it just bearable. "What-what do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."