Dead Heart

There were whispers surrounding Uryu when he had arrived late for his second class. He bore the surprised sensei's remarks and the whispers without a thought, and watched the day go by with boredom. He had not seen Orihime until lunchtime, and he noted of the slight pink tinge to her cheeks when he stared at her for a moment. A closer look and Uryu would have seen shame in her eyes. He did not. Uryu was simply happy to see Orihime.

"Ishida-kun, last night was a mistake!" Uryu felt cold as Orihime continued to plead with him. She had wanted to meet with him after lunch, and he had followed her into the girl's bathroom. There, she told him that last night should have never happened. "I'm so sorry, Ishida-kun! I was lonely, and…" Uryu stared at the girl. How was it that he was so calm, the Quincy wondered as he watched the girl plead with him? She was not crying. Somehow, that only made it worse. "I needed someone to comfort me…and I…" It felt as if the cold feeling he had felt multiplied and created wounds. It was like a katana had stabbed him. She… Uryu thought dully as the feeling intensified. "Uryu…I…" Somehow he couldn't even see Orihime, only seeing darkness. His breath caught in his throat and he felt himself start to shake. She used…me. "Kurosaki-kun…" I was…a fool to believe that she actually…

"Ishida-kun?" When Uryu didn't reply, the female first year student took a step closer to him. "Ishida-kun, are you okay?"

"You called me…" Now Orihime's face was visible in his eyes. He could see the desperation and confusion in her beautiful brown orbs. "Uryu…you called me Uryu." His stomach plummeted when Orihime shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Ishida-kun. Calling you by your first name…was a mistake." Mistake… Uryu thought as the world seemed to dim. "I'm…sorry that I made you think otherwise. It was…" Suddenly she paused and held her breath. The Quincy saw her hand in front of his own. "Are we friends again, Ishida-kun?"

Uryu felt as if his tongue was made out of sandpaper. Still, he gulped and whispered, "Hai, Inoue-san." It had never hurt to say her name. Until today. He smiled at her, making his lie seem believable before he ran into the bushes outside and vomited his lunch. The stale bile and fluid were faint in his mind as Uryu felt the pain more intently than the saltiness in his mouth. Almost tasting like tears.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Uryu turned to find Ori – Inoue-san calling out to Kurosaki as he left from school. Students were still in the hallway and stopped and stared at the two first years staring at each other. Inoue-san was slightly trembling, her hands clasped together as she stared at the former Shinigami.

"What is it, Inoue?" Kurosaki said tiredly with a hint of irritation.

Inoue-san didn't seem deterred from the young man's rude tone. Her eyes widened with emotion as she stared into the other brown eyes of the former Shinigami before her.

"I…really like you, Kurosaki-kun!" Uryu's eyes turned downward and he hoped no one noticed of how he gripped his school bag until his knuckles were white. "I love you, Kurosaki-kun, so I –"

"Inoue." Kurosaki's voice was surprisingly gentle. "You know how I feel." He stared into the girl's tearing eyes. "I only see you as a friend. I'm sorry."

No one moved as the orange-haired male started to exit to the bottom of the stairs. The students seemed embarrassed, as if they had seen something that should only be seen behind private doors. As Inoue-san started to cry with tears running down her cheeks, Uryu could see one lone student – Arisawa Tatsuki, if he remembered correctly – holding her trembling hands and leading her to the bathroom. It was at that moment that the students dispersed, talking in hushed whispers.

Uryu stood alone, only able to move as the last student passed. He came to an empty house, his father nowhere to be found. The young Quincy allowed his school bag to fall on the floor with a loud thump, and moved slowly to the bed until he collapsed. He felt so tired…so very tired. He remembered of how her body pressed against his own, breathless and moaning as he stroked her hair. As he told her… Uryu swallowed. He hoped that he wouldn't vomit again even as his world became unfocused. I was a damn fool to think that just because she said my name and slept with me that she would actually love me.

Uryu could see Inoue-san's face in his mind, her tears caressing her face like stars that had been hidden from the clouds. He could see her smile, lighting up the dark world he created for himself, and heard her voice.

"Ishida-kun…"

Could she not see how she felt for him? How could she be so…blind? Uryu acknowledged now, in his haze of grief, that he had loved her since he had defended her from the Shinigami Mayuri. She had been the only one he told about losing his Quincy powers, and the dark-haired man still could not understand of how, for a brief moment, he had declared that he would go to Hueco Mundo without any thought of the enemies he could face. It was comparable when Kurosaki had thought only about saving Kuchiki Rukia from execution, without any thought to the enemies. When Kurosaki had told him to shield Inoue-san with his own body if his powers went out of control, Uryu still remembered his own words. Even if he had died, Uryu knew that he would be happy that she was alive. He would…have no regrets. He didn't doubt that Inoue-san would go to Hueco Mundo without one of the enemies threatening her comrades. She was selfless. That was one of the reasons why Uryu…

"Ishida-kun…"

But Inoue-san didn't see him. When he had tried to fight against one of the enemies who had killed Kurosaki, her entire focus was on the dead Shinigami. Her despair and cries haunted his dreams, almost making the once-cold Quincy cry in his sleep. He hated to see her tears. More importantly, Uryu never wanted her to be sad. Never. Seeing her saddened expression caused a hole in his heart, and Uryu would have never forgiven himself if he was the reason for her unhappiness. Anger would always fester inside him when a sad expression echoed across her face, more likely the cause of that stupid Shinigami. She had been concerned when Uryu had lost his hand, had called out to him, but had only worriedly spoken of how Kurosaki was doing during the time she had healed him. Her gaze never on him long. I wonder… Uryu had thought as tears continued to caress her face during that time, would you cry as much as you did for Kurosaki…as you would for me if I was dead and bleeding?

Inoue-san?

The answer was no. Uryu knew the answer in his heart, but his mind had rejected it. Until Inoue-san had slowly and painfully rejected him, leaving him with his bleeding heart. He had called her Orihime and told her that he loved her…but the dream was only a dream.

Uryu inwardly choked back a sob. His entire body was shaking, his glasses falling off his face as he buried his face in his hands. Tears streaked down his cheeks, warm and thick as he continued to unevenly breathe. He didn't notice of how, a couple moments later, he was completely sobbing, his cries echoing in the room. The tears fell onto his lap, soaking his clothes, but Uryu's agony and heartbreak didn't stop. He continued to pour his bleeding heart out from his tears.

He did not know of his father by the door, listening to his cries.