Velveteen Rabbit

Chapter Three

Tony decides to forgo reservations. If they have trouble being seated, he plans to bribe the host. Pepper disapproves, but she can't deny the effectiveness of his proposal. He also elects to drive them himself, rather than have Happy take the Bentley. Pepper agrees readily to that choice. Driving puts a cap on how much he'll drink. They are going to an expensive, but still public, venue. There will be witnesses. Spending an evening out socially with her besotted boss raises enough of her red flags without Tony making a spectacle of himself - or her - in the process. There will be rumors, of course, but as long as the gossip doesn't gain creditably, Pepper can deflect questions with a work-related fabrication.

Pepper isn't dressed appropriately for the restaurant he chooses. Her workday pantsuit, inconspicuous make-up and plain ponytail are very much out of synch with the ambience of the establishment. She considers twisting her hair into something a bit more elegant, but refrains. Though Pepper is out with him, she doesn't want to give Tony the wrong impression.

Over cocktails, it hits her that she's no longer sure what is the right impression. Pepper had thought she could never give him what he was asking for, but he appears satisfied with her attention. Indulging him is easy. As the evening wears on, Tony's charming and enthused company does little to convince her to end this charade.

"Next time," Pepper says as they wait for the valet to bring Tony's car around, "Give me some warning about these excursions." True to his word, he does not try to hold her hand. Tony's palm rests lightly on the small of her back instead.

Tony is perturbed. "What?"

"I wasn't dressed appropriately."

Tony steps away from her and gives Pepper a very deliberate once-over. "You look great," he pronounces.

"Business formal," she explains. "I have dresses at home that I would much rather wear out."

"Oh," he says with a shrug. He slides back into her personal space and wraps one arm low around her hips. "If you insist."

"I walked into that," Pepper reflects when they get in the car.

"Little bit."

"So, about next time," he offers conversationally as they cruise the highway back to his estate, "How does tomorrow sound?"

"You're going to be in New York tomorrow night," Pepper reminds him.

His brow furrows. "Van Dyne's party," he recalls. "Am I packed for that?"

"You are."

"Are you going?" he asks.

"No," Pepper says with a shake of her head, "I'll be holding the fort down here."

"When I am going to see you again?"

She smiles. "I'll be on the tarmac like always."

He watches her out of the corner of his eye. "When do I get to see you in one of those dresses I've heard so much about?"

"Let me check your schedule," she replies neatly.


As it turns out, he's free the following Tuesday, due to a last minute cancellation by a client. The whole thing strikes Pepper as fishy, especially given that the sudden gap in the schedule frees her up several hours early. She has more than ample time to get ready for a romantic evening. Though the client called her, she can't shake the feeling that Tony must have planned it.

They take his car again, and much like the previous outing, Tony returns her to his garage when their meal is over. She's left her car parked out front. Unlike the previous outing, he doesn't let her slip away for the night without a kiss. Cradling her face in his palms, Tony tells her again that he loves her. The admission still makes her heart drop into her stomach, but the touch of his lips is a sweet balm.

He's a strange sort of gentleman, Pepper reflects at home. Since the disaster that occurred the day of his initial February confession, he has been taking things textbook slowly. However, she can't help but feel there's an edge of manipulation to everything he does. She told him she would not sleep with him, but Pepper has gone along with everything else he's suggested. Tony is responding to her mixed signals by boxing her into corners.

The crux of his issue lies in Tony's vulnerability. He played his hand by making his feelings known. Until Pepper makes her choice, taking control of the situation is his only recourse. He gave her a few weeks to process his news, a window of opportunity to make a decision. When she did not, he moved forward with what he wanted. They are at a crossroads, with two potential ways to move ahead. She could end this game altogether, or she could help him feel secure in their budding affair. Morally, she feels there's only one real option.

But the fact is, Pepper didn't spend a decade of her life making his easier only to give up at the end.

The next morning, Pepper begins her daily run down of his day with a good-morning kiss. Tony knows he is desirable to her. The balance of power shifts.


The transition is too easy. As heavy subjects become verboten one by one, Pepper drifts into spending Tony's idle hours with him. He's always been a demonstrative person, speaking in gestures as much as words. Reading the intent behind his action is a skill Pepper acquired long ago. For the first time in a long while, Pepper is learning new things about Tony.

Reviving the Stark Expo is the final initiative he intends to make as CEO. The Expos of his youth are some of his best memories of his father. He wants new generations to be wowed by the majesty of scientific achievement. He wants the Stark name to mean innovation, and for that innovation to be accessible to the public at large. Because Pepper is not the only one making new discoveries, Tony learns that she thinks the Expo to be a gross misallocation of funds and resources.

She learns the physical signs of his illness - the dark, veiny patterns that appear on his chest and spread outward over his body. Because Tony gets absorbed in projects, he lets his rising blood toxicity get out of hand before he medicates himself. Pepper watches the signs carefully, learns to send him marching to his private med lab before he falls over. It works out for them both - Tony is humiliated when he needs to be lifted off the floor. Pepper has a difficult time not crying in front of him when she has to help him up.

She learns him in other ways. He likes it when she runs her fingers through his hair. His ears are sensitive; he is putty in her hands if she kisses them. His entire body goes rigid if she sucks on them. He laughs if she bites him, regardless of her target. As Pepper becomes more and more familiar with his body, the boundaries between the workday and her off hours become blurred. By late April, the morning dossier includes an admission she has difficulty making. "I want to sleep with you."

Tony surreptitiously glances around the workshop before asking, "What, right now?"

Pepper smiles wryly. She had intended to make him aware of her choice, not demand he take her this instant. Pepper offers a compromise, "Tonight."

Tony drives a hard bargain. "When I get nothing done today because I'm picturing you naked, you need to accept that it's your fault."

"You should be used to working while picturing me naked," she replies. Pepper harbors no illusions. She's sure he has wasted hours of his time daydreaming about her with his dick in his hands.

His smile tells her he's impressed. It takes him a beat longer than usual to think up with a come-back - a fairly feeble 'I can neither confirm nor deny' - and he isn't looking at her face when he says it. Confirmed, she thinks.


Pepper had never noticed before, but Tony's bedroom is cavernously large. His furniture is minimalist, mostly whites and rounded edges. The decor does nothing to hide the vastness of the room. In the capacity of Tony's personal assistant, this has never been a space that welcomed her. It is one of the few rooms in the house that she does not feel belong her nearly as much as they do to Tony. Any other time she has entered, it has been on a mission. Rouse him from bed. Retrieve his dirty clothing or return the fresh pieces. Now that she intends to stay until morning, the atmosphere is completely different.

She makes a move for the bed first, turning down his thin comforter before lying down, facing him. She regrets the move immediately - it's not sexy. Perhaps she should have lead with a strip tease. Nonetheless, he follows.

They have not even begun when Tony asks, "Do you want to stop?"

"I want assurance," Pepper answers, shuffling her back against the sheets. Tony can read that she's become unsure of herself, but not gauge the source is her own misstep.

Kneeling above her, Tony laughs. "Fresh out of that."

Pepper smiles ruefully. She'll miss his laugh the most.

"Seriously," he says when he has calmed down. "You want to stop, you say so, we stop."

"Got it," Pepper answers. "I'm just nervous," she confesses. "I don't think you'll be able to fix that."

"You don't?" he purrs. "How about you let me try?"

Tony leans down and spreads himself over her. His body is a comforting weight that grounds her in the present. She needs that, proof that he is here and with her. And when he is gone, she'll still have the knowledge that he was once solid and strong. That he had shared himself with her, loving her.

His kiss is soft at first. Comforting and encouraging. Pepper has to hand it to him, she does begin to relax. He makes it all so simple. As their mouths move together, it becomes hard to recall why she was ever reluctant to sleep with him. Pepper could lull the hours away basking in his affection, but in bed, she wants his ardor to rise. She guides him into a more passionate kiss.

Growing impatient for more - driven by his bruising and lascivious kiss - Pepper's hands scramble for the hem of his shirt. His activities as Iron Man keep him as fit as possible; Tony doesn't let the fact that he is sick prevent him from working out if he can help it. His abs are toned. As she runs her fingers along them, Pepper can feel them quiver. She smiles against his mouth.

He retaliates by unbuttoning her blouse. This done, they part quickly, just long enough to shed their shirts. Pepper slides her top out from beneath her and drops it over the edge of the bed, where it flutters to the floor after Tony's. She quickly follows this action by undoing the front catch of her bra. It falls open and Tony grins widely at the sight.

He wastes no time palming her breasts, rubbing her nipples between his fingers. His lips soon follow the trail blazed by his fingers, reverently kissing the soft flesh. Pepper weaves her hands through his hair while he does so. She sighs. This man worships her. Pepper lightly traces the shell of his ear with a finger.

Tony groans, the throaty sound filled with lust.

"Is this a fetish?" she wonders aloud. "What other secrets are you hiding?"

Tony doesn't move away from her body before shaking his head with amusement. His scrapes his beard along her breast. "Killing me, woman," he mutters against her skin. The phrase slams her out of the moment. She'd nearly forgotten the reality of their situation. She's stricken, until he elects to fasten his lips around her left nipple, alternating sucking and lightly nipping with his teeth. He toys with the other with his fingers. The sensation whites out her mind, leaving her with only the warm, wet dexterity of his mouth. She runs her hands up and down his back. Beneath her palms, his muscles flex with the movement of his shoulders.

He switches, lavishing the same attention on her right nipple as he had the left. He sucks with greater ferocity now, causing her to take hold of his hair in one fist. She means it as an encouragement, not a warning. Though he seems to understand this, after a few more seconds of this attention, he drifts away from her chest, kissing his way down her stomach.

"Not fair," Pepper whispers, reluctantly releasing her grip on his hair. "I can't reach anything." She raises her knees around his torso, squeezing him. The motion makes her skirt ride up until it bunches at her waist.

He clamps one large hand around an offered knee, teasing the crease with his finger and trailing down her thigh. Both his hand and mouth are on the same mission, seeking the same promised land.

His finger reaches it first, sweeping her panties aside to lightly explore. She bites her lip. Pepper squirms. He moves so carefully, he's almost tickling her. It's far from unpleasant, but it also isn't what she wants. She's hot and wet where his fingers are. She clenches futilely at every shallow dip inside they make. He knows how ready she is for him.

"Tony," Pepper implores.

"Yeah?" he answers, breathlessly transfixed.

"I want..." Her request morphs into a moan of pleasure as he thrusts two fingers deeply inside of her.

He whispers, "Tell me," as he slowly withdraws.

"I want..." Pepper's hips buck upwards, meeting the force of another thrust of his fingers. She cannot create words any longer, she can only move with his friction, with his pleasure.

"Do you want my mouth?" he asks idly. His thumb lightly rubs against her clit, moving with delicate grace.

She huffs and groans and moans, "Yes."

"You want me to eat you? Make you come in my mouth?"

"Yesyesyes!" Pepper falls back among the pillows - bereft, limp and needy - when Tony withdraws his hand. Teasing her, he slowly drags her panties down her legs before discarding them. "Tony," she whimpers.

He drops his face between her legs. Tony's fingers return to her pussy, joined by his lips and tongue. He clamps one powerful hand around her thigh, stilling her. The other hand works against her clit as he licks her pussy. Pepper's hands descend again into his hair, pulling and tugging, pushing and guiding. He adapts quickly to her wordless directions, moving his lips to her clit. He alternates between sucking on it and pressing against it with the flat of his tongue. Tony soon finds the combination of gentle pressure and rhythmic motion that makes her hips buck wildly. Though both of his hands take hold of her hips to steady her rocking, she continues to roll with his ministrations. She trembles and cries out for him. Tony is ceaseless in his devotion, even as Pepper comes against his lips. As the cascades of pleasure work through her body, he continues to lick and nuzzle her.

They rest quietly afterwards, Tony's cheek pillowed on her thigh. When Pepper begins to stir, Tony loudly kisses the inside of her leg. She sits up, somewhat wobbly. When he sees her go for the skirt, Tony obligingly pulls it off for her.

"I love you," he whispers, caressing her calves.

"Hey, you," Pepper calls out softly. He meets her eyes, all cocky self-assurance. "That was..." she murmurs, trying to find her ability to speak. "You're amazing." Tony preens, quite pleased with himself. When she's confident she can move, Pepper is intent on making sure Tony stays pleased, albeit in a different manner. She crawls down the bed, settling herself along side him. Tony leans over to kiss her. His damp lips smear her own essence on Pepper's skin. As Pepper licks the salty cream from her lips, Tony's dark eyes are locked on hers. His moan is a small preview of the sounds she hopes to drive out of him. Pepper's hands slip down the front of him, opening his fly. His eyes slide closed as she reaches inside his pants and begins to stroke him.

Pepper anticipates a distinct reaction. Tony, as usual, is a bit difficult.

"You're not hard," Pepper observes carefully.

"Yeah," Tony agrees, slowly cracking an eye open. "About that. Thing is, I'm pretty sick. Not everything's working the way it used to."

Pepper withdraws her hand. "You should have told me."

"I didn't want you to change your mind." Imploringly, he claps a heavy palm to each of her shoulders.

"But," she protests flustered, "you can't..."

"I can," he corrects, nodding at her with a conspicuously raised eyebrow. "I just did." He's cocky, for a man with erectile dysfunction.

Helplessly, Pepper asks, "How can I return the favor?"

"This was great for me," Tony answers. "Don't worry about it."

"I wish you would have said something," she whispers sadly.

His hands travel slowly down her arms and up again. "Would that have changed your mind?"

"Of course it would have!" she cries. She had known when she made the choice there was a good chance she would come to regret sleeping with him. But she had also known that she would absolutely regret passing him by. She had thought that, by climbing into his bed, she would at least have the chance at building a happy memory with him. But that, too, has been stolen from them by the illness that has ravaged his body.

"That's what I thought," Tony admits, stiffly holding his head up. "And that's why I didn't."

Vexed, Pepper demands, "Why did you -"

"Jesus Christ, Pepper! I still want you!"

Utterly defeated, she tucks herself against his torso. "I'm sorry," Pepper says into his shoulder as Tony's arms wind around her. She nuzzles his neck, where dark, veiny latticework marks him. It was stupid to have thought she could have him.

Tony has never held her before. Everything about his embrace is awkward. "It's okay," he tells her hair. "It's gonna be fine."


When Pepper wakes, Tony is still asleep beside her. She slips her arms around his waist, spooning him from behind. Rather than being warm and welcoming, he is cool and clammy to the touch. She draws herself up on one arm, prods him in the shoulder with the other.

"JARVIS," Pepper calls, "lights on!"

She has to squint in the sudden brightness, but with the room illuminated, Pepper can see that Tony is pale. The irregular lines that demonstrate his condition have spread across his body. She rolls him onto his back. His breathing is loud and labored, eyes open and glassy.

"Tony!" Pepper cries, shaking him until his eyes fix on her.

"Pe-Pepper," he rasps. "Box. On my desk. Downstairs. Get it."

She grabs an armful of discarded clothing off the floor - her panties, his t-shirt - and tugs them on as she races into the hall and down the steps. The tile floor of the workshop is freezing on her bare feet. It is sudden and jarring enough to ground her panic, keep her thinking straight. Now that she is thinking critically, it strikes Pepper how tremendously poor Tony's directions had been. He has a number of desks scattered across the workshop, each with a different function. She dashes from place to place, trying to find the mysterious box.

She finally spots a large wooden case set upon an otherwise empty table. Pepper seizes it, tucks it under her arm and runs thudding up the stairs.

Tony is more cognizant when she returns to the bedroom. He takes the box from her hands roughly when she offers it. Wasting no time, he pops it open and selects one of several thin metal sheets. Next, his hands travel to his chest, unscrewing the Arc Reactor. He pulls a burnt, chewed-up relic from within and replaces it with the fresh sheet from the box. Immediately, the Arc is placed back into its metal-lined cavity.

Tony collapses onto the mattress with a huff.

Pepper cautiously eases onto the bed beside him. "What did you do?" Until now, he has always medicated himself in private.

"Replaced the palladium core," he explains. Every breath he takes is long and deep. "Palladium. It's toxic. Who knew, right?"

"That helps," Pepper observes, watching the lines on his skin fade.

"Yeah."

"Tony."

His head lolls to face her. "Yeah."

"The poison..." Pepper offers with a furrowed brow, "it's coming from inside the Arc Reactor." She had known that, of course. He was always clear that the Arc Reactor was the problem.

"Yeah." He affirms, pausing in his deliberate breathing to grin.

"You..." She pursues her lips, trying to parse what she has heard and witnessed. "You just poisoned yourself." All along, his method of self-medication had been to put more toxins into his body. The burnt-out piece was dangerous. He would replace the used palladium with new, and wait for it to hurt him again.

"The Arc can't run with anything else," he replies. "I've tried every element, every combination I can think of. Nothing's worked."

"You are doing this to yourself," she states carefully, trying to will it to be incorrect. All along, Pepper had thought the poison was in his bloodstream, unable to be removed or diluted. All along, he had been doing and doing and doing this to himself. Over and over. Hurting himself, until eventually, the successive poisonings would weaken him. Make his body shut down. And he would die.

The mirth at escaping a sticky situation drops off his face. Flatly, Tony states, "The Arc Reactor keeps me alive."

"You...fuck you!"

He stares, jaw falling open.

His shock at her choice of language does nothing to temper Pepper's fury. "The Arc Reactor?" she cries, venom-tinged. "The Arc Reactor doesn't keep you alive! The...the...the electromagnet does!" It's hard to speak, hard to think straight. He did this to himself. All along, he knew he was doing it to himself. She draws herself up on her knees. Her hands are shaking. "Because...the shrapnel!"

"Yeah," he replies, recovering from the surprise. "The electromagnet that's powered by the reactor."

"What is wrong with you?" she screams. "Take it out! Take it out!"

"I'll die," he answers, rousing enough to prop himself on his elbows. "Not in a couple months. I do that, I've got a week."

"What is wrong with you?" she hisses. "You are going to die because...because of your invention? Because you can't admit it doesn't work?"

"It works," he shoots back. "My dad -"

"- If it worked," Pepper interjects rancorously, "You wouldn't be dying!"

He doesn't match her anger. "It's not a problem with the Arc Reactor."

"Take it out!" She shouts again.

"I will die," he hisses, sitting up. "Why don't you get that?"

"Take it out and replace it with something else!" Pepper orders. "Build a new battery!" She crawls to him on her knees. "Tony, Tony," she pleads, cupping his face with her hands, "I know you love your father. I know the Arc Reactor was his baby. You can't let yourself die because his design wasn't perfect."

"I'm not letting -" he protests.

She won't let him. "- You're not fighting either!"

"I've tried everything!" he bites back.

"No, you haven't!" she insists. "Because you haven't tried starting over from scratch!"

"The power output the suit requires -" he recites, in a resigned, dull tone. Pepper does not allow that, either.

"It doesn't have to power the suit!" Pepper cries. "It just has to power you!"

He takes her wrists in his large hands. For a moment, she thinks he is going to push her away. He holds on. "You're a genius, Pepper."