Felicity had been worried out of her mind. She'd been obsessively checking her phone and her e-mail. She was craving word…any kind of word about Oliver. All she wanted to do was to go to the hospital and see him, but she'd been trying to respect his wishes. It wasn't easy.
She'd thought about not caring about what Oliver wanted and to just gather up her coat and purse and head out. Felicity was sure that he wouldn't send her away if she was just there. Or at least that was what she was hoping. Every time she'd convince herself that she should go, she'd stop at the door and make herself put everything back and resume torturing herself about going.
The knock on the door scared her enough to make her drop her coffee mug and spill her coffee all over the floor; luckily she somehow escaped burning herself. She left it there to hurry to the door. She didn't even look through the peephole before flinging it open. "Is he-? He's okay! He has—"
"He's okay, Felicity," Diggle said as he let himself in.
"You haven't texted me since—"
"I know, I had to come and talk to you in person."
Felicity closed the door and followed him. "It was bad…but he's going to recover fully, right? I mean he went through God knows what on that island… He's almost died multiple times since we joined on… He's going to be fine…"
"The doctors think so," Diggle told her. His voice was even and calm, but she could see that there was something that he just wasn't telling her. "He wants to go home, obviously, but he's got some breaks… They're waiting for swelling to go down before doing anything."
"Good…that's good…" she said. "But there's something else…"
Diggle frowned. "I shouldn't have to have this conversation with you. I told him it wasn't fair to me…or to you…"
"What?" she asked as they sat down on the couch. Her heart was racing in anticipation for what Diggle might say. She'd been banished from his side for far too long and she just desperately wanted to go to the hospital and be there for him. "Please tell me that they've told him he had a concussion and he wasn't thinking clearly and that—"
"Oliver has asked me to make arrangements for you," Diggle interrupted.
"Arrangements?"
It didn't sound like something he would have to do if she was just going to the hospital to see Oliver. She didn't need anything fancy… If anything, Oliver was the one who needed arrangements made for him. If they were going to release him, then he was going to need care and physical therapy and things to keep him sane. Felicity had already come up with a whole list of activities and board games that she hoped that Oliver would find interesting enough to keep him occupied and distracted.
"Oliver has decided to let you go…" Diggle started.
Let her go?
Felicity started to panic. What had she done? What was he letting her go from? Team Arrow? From Queen Consolidated? From his life? From all of it? "No… He doesn't know what he's saying…"
"I wish I could back you up on that, Felicity," Diggle said calmly.
Felicity was nowhere near calm anymore. She was full on freaking out and was starting to have problems thinking clearly. All she could think was that there was something wrong with Oliver and she was the only one who knew it. And on top of it all, she wasn't allowed to see him.
"But he's been speaking clearly and this is the only thing he's said that's close to crazy…"
"I don't believe it," she barely breathed. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to demand that they go see Oliver right that moment, that she'd only accept it if she heard it directly from him. Felicity wanted to cry and to tell him that she couldn't do that. Diggle and Oliver with her family, QC and Team Arrow were her life. Why would he take that all away from her?
"I'm supposed to set you up in Central City," Diggle told her. He spoke slowly and seemed to be trying to keep calm. Felicity was sure that it was for her sake. "A new job, a new apartment, an allowance, and…"
"I don't want any of it," Felicity mumbled as tears fell down her face. She stared at Diggle and she wanted him to comfort her and tell her it was okay. She wanted him to be on her side, but she didn't know if that was going to happen. Right now he was sent as Oliver's messenger…
"Barry Allen is awake, Felicity," Diggle told her. "I've already talked to him… Once everything is settled here…he's going to pick you up in Central City. Your car is leased… Oliver wants a new one purchased for you to pick up in Central City."
"I like my car. I like my apartment. I like my job. Both of them. I should have a choice in this," Felicity told him seriously as she tried to maintain some kind of calmness in her voice. Her voice teetered here and there.
"I know you should," Diggle told her. He looked down for a moment before looking back up at her. "Do you really think that I want to be the one to tell you any of this? I don't want to send you away… I think he's an idiot." Diggle's tone was starting to get upset. "I don't even know how long they're going to keep him in the hospital or how messed up…physically…he really is. The swelling doesn't help things… Let alone…his head…"
"I guess as long as he's not hallucinating," she tried to joke, but it fell flat. They just stared at each other in silence. Felicity's cheeks were flooded with tears and a sob rose up in her chest. She looked down and just didn't know what to do. She couldn't accept this. She couldn't.
"Why is he doing this?" she finally asked.
"I honestly don't know," Diggle replied. "It might be because of that time with Slade alone…or it could be something else… I don't know. I tried to get it out of him. He didn't budge on telling me why…"
"I can't just go to Central City and start over," Felicity told him between sobs. Diggle's arms wrapped around her and she had no idea how she was going to handle the rest of the day…or any time after that. "You and Oliver…you're my family."
"Shh…" Diggle tried to calm her.
It didn't work.
Felicity was done trying to be calm. She let the floodgates open and cried her eyes out. Her throat and chest hurt from the sobs. Oliver was asking her to give up everything. She couldn't… They were her family. They were her everything. She didn't care if Barry was awake, that didn't mean that she wanted to go to Central City and live there…
"Can't you tell him I'm sorry?" she babbled.
She hung to Diggle and just wanted to understand. Right now, she just couldn't. She felt like she'd been put in the corner and now was being sent away without seeing anyone. Oliver was effectively putting her in isolation. She hated it. She wanted to hate him for it. She could never be mad at him for long though.
"Felicity, I don't think it's something to apologize about," he whispered as he rubbed her back.
"He can't just tell me to go—"
"But he can fire you…" Diggle told her.
"John, please—"
"Right now, I can't find out anything from him," he whispered. "He's being an idiot. Plain and simple. He won't open up to me. He's only concerned about sending you away. So, I have to send you away. I need to be able to find out what's going on with him…and as soon as I know what's going on…then you know I'll be trying to get you back home…"
"I don't want to go, John," she pleaded.
"I don't want you to go either… I don't."
She knew he was telling the truth. She could hear it in his voice. Suddenly, she felt this calmness hit her. It was like it was ok all of the sudden. Felicity didn't know why. It wasn't okay. If anything, things were just worse.
"He needs both of us," Felicity whispered.
"I know." Diggle was quiet for a moment before speaking up again. "Oliver isn't the only one who needs you." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "But I can tell you this… It's going to be okay… Not today or tomorrow…but when I pull his head out of his ass…"
Felicity barely smiled, but it was just enough. She held tight to Diggle. She didn't know how she could give up her family there. How she could just give up everything and leave. "I hate moving," she whispered.
"So, I'll figure out how to keep rent here… You can think of it like going on a business trip," Diggle told her. "You'll be doing job training… You just happen to get an allowance and a car out of it…"
"It won't make it any easier."
"I know."
"I just want to see him. Once. Just once before I have to go," she told him.
Diggle nodded against her. "I'll call you from the hospital when Oliver's a sleep. You can come by then…" He pulled back and stared at her.
Felicity nodded. That was enough. She just had to see him with her own eyes. She knew that not enough time had passed for him to heal, but she just needed to see that he was doing better…even if it wasn't noticeable. She wanted to say her goodbyes, even if he didn't hear it. She needed that bit of closure.
"Then, I'll go back and tell Oliver that the arrangements need to be finalized… Do you have any requests on the car?"
"Same as I have now…" she told him.
"I love when you make my life easier," Diggle told her with a small smile. She was quiet and he just stared at her. "It is going to be okay…" He sounded so confident. He wasn't the one who was being sent away.
"What about QC?"
"I don't know," he said. "I guess Mrs. Queen will step in."
"Isabel and Mrs. Queen don't exactly get along."
"No kidding. You're going to miss some incredible fights, I'm sure. I'll be sure to keep you updated," Diggle told her.
Felicity frowned still. "Do you really think this is just temporary?"
"One thing I know, Oliver doesn't really want to send you away. So, he's either guilting himself into this or Slade…"
It really was a toss up. Slade had said that he'd thought of something even worse than killing Oliver. But how could he really force Oliver's hand? Felicity just couldn't come up with a good reason for any of it.
"Just promise me I'll be back home soon."
"I won't be able to stand his attitude for much longer without thinking about killing him," Diggle told her frankly. "So, you will be home soon."
She knew Diggle would keep his promise.
That was all she needed to hear.
. . .
TBC…
