Title: Cold Case – Hope Lives
Summary: Detective Lilly Rush finds a little more than the truth when the Squad investigates an unsolved murder.
Pairing: Lilly Rush & OFC
Rating: M for F/F sexual content.
Disclaimer: No profit or copyright infringement intended during the writing of this story. All characters other than original remain the property of creator Meredith Stiehm, Jerry Bruckheimer TV, Warner Bros TV and CBS Productions.
Chapter 3
Three hours of sleep contributes to my persistent hangover and surly mood as I sip from a two gallon bottle of water. I stand under the cold stream of the shower and slowly rehydrate my body. The loud thumping in my head eases slightly and my blurred vision begins to focus. "I swear this is your fault Miller," I utter as I reach for the shampoo. I make a mental note to call Kate later and see how she is doing. With any luck my drinking buddy is hung over too. Why should I suffer along?
It is with that thought, that I find myself walking into the Homicide Squad Room at 12:15. I spot Kat standing by the coffee machine, "Hey Miller, you got time for lunch?"
Kat turns to me with blood shot eyes, "Cooper, you can buy me the greasiest burger in town. Hopefully it will make me feel half human."
I laugh at her comment, "You got it." My attention is drawn to Lilly and Scotty as they enter the bullpen. "Detectives," I say before leaving with Kat.
Over lunch I broach the subject of being asked out by Scotty and Lilly.
"I'm not surprised by Valens, but Lilly is a different story," says Kate between mouthfuls of food.
"Why is that?"
"I told her you don't date straight women."
Remembering our conversation from the previous evening, my curiosity is piqued, "You told me that last night, is there a possibility she is bi?"
"I don't know, although I do know her past two relationships have been disasters. Lilly always seems to attract the bad boys."
"Oh, sounds like she might have a father figure issue."
"Her father left the family home destitute when Lilly was six. He lives over in Haddonfield, New Jersey with his second family."
"Crap and how do you know all this?"
"Paul Cooper made contact with Lilly a while back, but the relationship was strained and she recently severed all ties."
I feel for the loss of family, "That's a shame and no, I'm not related."
Kate changes the subject, "It's Veronica's twelfth birthday on Saturday. How about you drop by the house? We're having a small party to mark the occasion."
"Sounds good, what time you want me there?"
"Two and Veronica will be happy to see you."
I smile at the recollection of my last visit with the Miller family, "By the way, I see you have finally quit smoking."
"Yeah, that kid of mine put me under so much pressure and when I joined Homicide, I learnt quickly that I was out of shape when I chased down a perp."
Giggling, I pay the check and stand, "Come on, time to get back to work."
"Thanks for lunch and I feel so much better."
"Just remind me not to drink with you on a work night again."
"Trust me, I will."
-0-
Knocking on Kat's front door, I am delighted when her mother answers. "Hello Mrs Miller, it's nice to see you again."
I'm welcomed with a bear hug, "My word Connie, it's good to have you here. How long has it been?"
"Three years ma'am."
"That is way too long, come on through. The others are out back and Kat is barbequing, so god help us all."
I chuckle at the reference to Kat's below average outdoor cooking skills, "I'll volunteer to help her."
"Bless you Connie, we'll all be saved from charcoal poisoning."
As I step out onto the rear deck I am still giggling as I'm greeted by the Cold Case Detectives then swiftly engage in conversation with the youngest Miller. I hand over a present and am pleased with her delight and hug.
After Veronica excitedly cuts her cake an hour later, I offer to clean up.
Lilly joins me in the kitchen and asks, "You don't like cake?"
I turn and take in the exquisiteness of the blonde dressed in low waisted denim jeans and light blue shirt. "No," I answer. "I don't have a sweet tooth."
"That would explain your physique."
Feeling uncomfortable with the comment, I say, "Look Lilly, I appreciate the compliment, but just so there is no misunderstandings between us, I have no intention of dating you."
"I know, Kat informed me."
I head for the door, "Good, so can you please stop ogling me." Stepping through the doorway, I don't wait for a reply. I take my leave and say goodbye before driving home to a rigorous workout. Having Lilly so close to me has been unsettling and if I am honest with myself, it has left me aroused, something I haven't been in a long time.
-0-
By seven-thirty I'm still feeling restless and decide to go out to a club to alleviate my current mood. After the fiasco of Beth, I haven't been to the club we used to frequent because of the memories, but tonight I am in need of company, even if only for a few hours.
Showering, I dress in black jeans, boots, white tank top and black leather jacket. Not intending on drinking alcohol, I drive for twenty minutes before locating a parking spot two blocks from Club Diva.
The bulky woman on the door nods to me with recognition, "Hey Xena, nice to see you back."
"Yeah," I respond. The nickname had been lumbered on me back in 1995 when actress Lucy Lawless burst onto the television screen as the Warrior Princess. She became an instant gay icon and because of my slight resemblance to her, the moniker stuck. When I was single way back when, it afforded me a few dates and several one night stands. The former is what I am seeking as I make my way to the bar counter.
It isn't long before a young attractive blonde saunters up to me, "Hi, name's Steph, can I buy you a drink?"
"No thanks." Had the blonde been ten years older, the answer would have been different.
Unperturbed, the young woman asks, "How about a dance then?"
I smile at her persistence, "No thanks."
"You know, I won't bite."
"I'm sure you won't."
"That is unless you ask me to."
She smiles cheekily and I concede, "Okay, one dance."
The blonde's smile deepens and she takes me by the hand.
Two songs later, I lead Steph to the bar and order her a beer and a tall glass of water for myself.
Leaning in, Steph says, "I bet you get told you look a lot like Lucy Lawless all the time?"
"Yes I do, but I don't have the Kiwi accent."
This brings a laugh from my dance partner, "There's actually a blonde here that looks like the actress who played the Crusader Najara on the show."
"Really, I've never watched the show so wouldn't know what she looks like."
"That's a shame because it's one hot show and so are you."
"And you are drunk," I joke. "Thanks for the dance."
Steph reaches for my hand, "I'm not that drunk. You are beautiful and I'd like one more dance."
The blonde ushers me back onto the floor and we begin to move to the music. Moments later, I feel an arm gently encompass my waist. I freeze. I know that touch. I turn to find Beth and Jackie. "No way," I say angrily.
"You look really good Connie," says an obviously intoxicated Beth.
"Take your hand off me."
"Come on, loosen up CC," implores Beth using her nickname for me.
"Fuck off," seems to be the only reply I can muster up at the time. I head straight for the exit and a hand grabs my left shoulder firmly. Assuming it is Beth attempting to halt my departure; I grip the wrist, rotate and am startled to discover I am eye to eye with Lilly Rush.
She has the look of concern on her face and asks, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, what are you doing here?" I let go of her wrist and wait.
"For the same reason you are."
I laugh, "I doubt you are here to pick up a one night stand for mindless sex?"
Lilly winks slyly, "Aren't I?"
"Shit, I really can't handle this right now." I slip out the door and make for my Ford Ranger.
"HEY, WAIT UP!" yells Lilly from behind me.
Turning, I notice the blonde is unsteady on her feet. I also note she is stunning in black trousers and cobalt blue long sleeve shirt. The other attractive feature that catches my eye is her hair is loose and falling free past her shoulders. I swallow down my thoughts and snap, "What?"
"What just happened in there?"
"Rush, you are inebriated, let me take you home." My suggestion is nothing but friendly and my notion of ending the evening in the arms of a willing sex partner diminishes.
"Okay," she agrees without argument or hesitation.
-0-
The ten minute trip is silent and as I pull up to the kerb, Lilly reaches over and places her hand on my forearm. "Come in, I'd like to talk to you and maybe explain a thing or two."
Talk is the last thing I want to do and I fumble with my reply, "Uhm, I don't think that's a good idea Detective Rush, goodnight."
The beautiful blonde frowns and removes her hand. I watch as she leaves the confines of my truck and I find myself turning off the engine and getting out.
Lilly turns to me, "Change your mind Detective?"
"I owe you an explanation too Lilly."
With an upturned mouth, the blonde opens the townhouse building door and I follow. I'm going against everything I believe in to be alone with this woman, but I can't ignore the attraction I feel for her nor can I avoid conveying my reasons for avoiding her. How harmful can just talking be, right?
I step inside to find Lilly struggling with her keys. Leaning in against her back, I reach around and take the bunch from her hands, "Here, I'll do that."
An unmistakable soft moan escapes from her kissable lips. "Oh shit!" I say to myself. "Stop thinking about kissing her, you are just going to chat, not make out."
Lilly leans back into me and I start to shake while turning the key in the lock.
In a low husky voice the Temptress says, "Am I making you nervous Connie?"
Gulping down my desire to ravish the blonde in the hallway, I mercifully open the stubborn door and regain some semblance of self control, "There you go, goodnight Detective Rush." I hand over her keys and actually physically run away like a coward. My heart is pounding in my chest and threatens to land me in the Emergency Room of the nearest hospital. I take a deep breath and climb into my vehicle. I drive away from the building and chide myself out loud, "Damn it, you idiot!" The ache in my centre is unbearable as is the thought of Lilly Rush.
-0-
Racing into my house minutes later, I am naked by the time I reach the bathroom. I dispose of my clothes in the linen basket then subject myself to the torture of a cold shower. The freezing pellets of water ease my raging libido and clear my muddied head of images of Lilly. My body trembles and I make my way out of the stall. Quickly drying, I race to my bed and snuggle into the pillows. I turn my thoughts to a robbery/homicide case I am currently working and soon drift into slumber.
The next two weeks pass by in a blur. I close out my nine remaining cases and Captain Sorrell takes me to the local bar to celebrate. It's Friday night and the place is crammed with off duty cops and FBI Agents. I feel good with the prospect of not having any active cases and after sharing four pitchers of beer, I stagger out into the cold night and hail a cab.
The driver pulls into my drive and I ask him to wait. I run indoors, change into black jeans, black shirt and black sweater. I grab my favourite leather jacket before securing the house. Jumping into the taxi, I give him the address for Club Diva.
I enter the club a quarter of an hour later and head straight to the bar. Kelly behind the counter gives me a nod then hands me a beer. Leaning over the bench, I pass her a ten dollar bill and say, "Thanks."
Her smile is wide and I'm reminded of our intimate encounter from five years previous. It was wild, sweaty and a convenient one off diversion for us both.
"You're looking good Connie," Kelly says while giving me my change.
"So are you Kel." I turn and search the room. With relief I note the absence of Beth and Jackie. Relaxing, I drink my beer at the counter and add to my intoxication. Within minutes, a tall blonde approaches and asks me to dance, I accept.
We make our way to the floor and I appreciate the pretty blonde. Her green eyes glisten and I smile my approval. The dancing area is crowded, so it's not surprising when I feel another body press into my side, but it is when a warm breath blows across my right ear followed by the sultry words, "Hello Detective Cooper."
I ignore the greeting, but struggle when strong hands wrap around my stomach and pull me backwards onto two erect nipples. My senses are on overload as warm lips seize my earlobe and suckle. My eyes betray me and close as I groan softly. When my eyelids lift, I notice my blonde dance partner has moved away. Rotating in the arms holding me, I face Lilly and smile at her sparkling blue eyes. Her grin is nothing less than brilliant and I am a goner. "Persistent, aren't you," I acknowledge.
Lilly nods then says, "I'm not straight nor am I bi or curious."
My brows arch in disbelief at the confession.
"Let's go some place quiet, I'd really like to talk Connie," suggests a suddenly serious looking Lilly.
My head dips in silent consent. My power of speech has deserted me and I quiver as Lilly takes my hand. Leading me outside, she hails a cab and we go to her apartment.
-0-
I remain quiet and just gawk at the woman as I stumble into her living room.
"Take a seat," she directs while going into the kitchen. "Would you like a drink?" she asks. "I have beer or wine."
"Water would be good," I reply with my returned voice. "I've already had too much beer."
As the blonde hands me a bottle, I take a seat on the couch with the ginger cat sleeping on the opposite end. "Thanks Lilly, nice cat."
Lilly sits across from me and holds my eyes, "I know you have questions."
"I do and as you know, I don't date fellow cops."
"Yes, but you can't deny there is something between us?"
I tell the truth, "Yes, I'm very attracted to you."
"I'm sure my feelings for you are quite obvious."
Lilly gives me a smile and my already soaked vulva aches for her. "Uhm yes, but nothing is going to happen." My words sound convincing, well at least to me they do.
"Connie, it's been over a year since I was involved with a man. He was an undercover cop who turned out to be dirty and since then I've been in therapy sorting out my need to date the wrong kind of guy."
"Kat mentioned you have the habit of being attracted to bad boys."
Lilly smiles broadly, "Yes, but I'm over that. I recently made contact with my father, but it ended badly. My anger at him had a lot to do with my rotten taste in men and lack of trust."
"I'm sorry about that, family is important."
"There is no place for him in my life at the moment. I'm still too upset with him for abandoning my mother and younger sister when I was six. We were left to survive in a poverty stricken home that was highly dysfunctional and fed on the insecurities of my alcoholic mother. We were estranged for years as was my sister Christina."
I stand then kneel at Lilly's feet, "I'm really sorry Lilly. It must have been tough for you."
Reaching out, Lilly gently caresses my face. I lean into the touch and close my eyes. Her hand against my cheek is warm and I savour the contact for a moment. When I open my eyes, dilated blue orbs are focused on me.
"I reconciled with my mother Ellen a couple of years ago, only to have a few weeks with her before she passed away from cirrhosis of the liver."
I feel the need to comfort this incredibly venerable woman, so I move in and wrap my arms around her shoulders. She buries her face into my chest and softly weeps.
We are in this position for some time before I lean back and gently push back a stray strand of hair from Lilly's face, "Thank you for confiding in me."
"My childhood explains my trust issues and bad choices when it comes to relationships."
"Lilly, I'm sure the right guy is out there somewhere." I feel a sharp pain pierce my heart at the thought, but know I want her to be happy.
Lilly shakes her head, "No he's not. It seems I've been punishing myself with past relationships because I was too scared to realise my true sexual identity."
My shoulders slump and I pull away. I look into Lilly's eyes and ask, "Does this mean you've discovered you are gay?"
With a smirk, Lilly nods, "Yes it does. I'd suppressed my feelings for all these years. I'm thirty-eight years old and never committed to anyone except for the one time when I was a teenager and became engaged. My sister ended up sleeping with my fiancé."
"Did you ever explore that side of your sexuality?"
"Yes in high school then college, but not again until seven months ago at Club Diva."
I scoff, "Well that's a good place as any to start."
"I'm finally comfortable with who I am Connie and I apologise for not being upfront about my sexual preferences earlier."
I blink several times, giving myself time to take in all the information, "It could have saved me a lot of frustration and cold showers, but it's out now."
"I feel very comfortable telling you all this."
"I appreciate that Lilly." I release my hold, stand and stretch my numbing legs. Sitting back on the couch, I smile when Lilly gets up and sits beside me. Taking her hand, I make my confession, "You are a beautiful woman Lilly and a really good detective."
"So are you," counters Lilly before leaning in and resting her head on my shoulder.
"I can sympathise with your childhood. My Aunt Claire raised me when my parents were killed in a car accident. I was eight at the time and lived with Claire until she passed away two years ago. She was the light of my life and I miss her every day. Claire left me her house and was the most generous person I have ever known."
Lilly rubs the back of my hand with her thumb, "I'm so sorry Connie."
"I joined the PPD fifteen years ago and was a Patrol Officer for three years before obtaining my gold shield. I spent seven years with Narcotics and the last five with the Task Force."
"Why do you work alone?"
I take a deep breath and tell Lilly all about the Beth saga.
"Holy shit, what a bitch and the other two are just as bad," Lilly remarks once I'm done talking.
"I think they deserve one another and that was Beth and Jackie at the club two weeks ago."
"I assumed the blonde was an ex," replies Lilly knowingly.
"I've not dated since and that night was the first time I'd been out in a long time."
"I've been going there for a while."
I smirk as Lilly lifts her head, "So nothing serious?"
"Oh no, I just go there for mindless sex."
Giggling at her use of my terminology, I admit, "That's why I was there."
Turning her head, Lilly leans in closer, "I wanted you the first time I saw you. The way you carry yourself and exude confidence was a big attraction for me."
"That's nice to know Lilly and I admit I had feelings for you too, but was frustrated because I knew you were interested, but I refused to reciprocate believing you were straight."
Lilly yawned, "Sorry, the alcohol and hard day is catching up."
Letting go of Lilly's hand, I stand, "I'll say goodnight then."
"I was hoping you'd stay."
"No, I'm far from sober and you're no better. I don't want that to be a factor when we kiss for the first time."
"I understand. Can I call you tomorrow?"
"I'll be disappointed if you don't." I show myself to the door and head for home. Although still sexually agitated, I am none the less happy to be on better terms with Lilly Rush.
-0-
