- I have no muse, sigh.

No. No no. Not now. I don't have time for this.

Kate was just about to respond when there was a crash to her left further along the hallway; a woman with red hair stumbled over a lone mop before ramming her side into the cleaning trolley with all the grace of a newborn fawn.

It didn't take long and she was standing all too close to Rick, her perfume over powering the all-too small space between the three of them. Kate raised one hand in an attempt to cover her mouth surreptitiously, the waft very much like its owner; trying to choke everyone around it. Rick opened his mouth to speak again but this time was interrupted by the fiery harlot. Come on, Kate. I'm sure she's a lovely person.

"Look nurse, our daughter just had surgery and we got told it was up here and-" she motioned between her and Rick, "Oh look at that... she's not here!" Rick gripped the woman's hand tightly, his grief-stricken gaze still locked on Kate.

Kate closed her eyes trying to muster up some sort of inner courage. She couldn't look at him. Much less into those eyes of his. The very same ones that had looked into her own so many times before; as they made love, caressing her body with gentle touches. They'd watched her unravel in ecstasy and when life had unraveled itself around her.

The other woman clutched at his side as if her life depended on it - fingernails digging into the worn flesh between his fingers. "So? Where is she?"She demanded, taking a predatory step towards Kate. "Meredith..." Rick said softly, moving his hand to her stomach and attempting to stop any damage that the over zealous actress was likely to cause.

Never one to back down when confronted Kate stood her ground, shoving her hands into her pockets before meeting the -obviously- distressed woman's gaze.

"If your daughter-" her voice struck, tearing painfully half-way through the common word. "...had surgery recently she should be up in ICU, Paediatrics unit. There is a sign at the end of the hall near the elevators on the right. It should point you to the right floor. I have- uh...to go. I'm late for surgery." And with a flurry, Kate rushed away.

Escape escape escape.

Don't cry. You're stronger than this. You don't love him anymore.

Of course he had a child...it's been years, it'd be more illogical for him to not have a child.

She couldn't let him have this kind of power over her still.

Pushing open the glass door, Kate went straight to the wooden racks that contained the various sized and coloured bags belonging to the children. She grabbed Emma's bright purple bag with a massive cartoon elephant on the front and slung it over her shoulder. Then walking briskly to the sign out counter, she bent down and scribbled her name along with other various menial details. The woman in front of her smiled gently at her, her dark red fish-ponytail sliding along her shoulder whilst she played with the pen that was currently occupying her hands.

"Lucy actually wants to have a moment with you, when you are free that is." She said softly, pointing out a woman with platinum blonde hair that was tied back in a loose ponytail, gentle ringlets framing her face.

As a set of arms wrapped themselves around her waist, Kate's heart warmed and her body immediately canted towards the familiarity. Squatting down in front of her daughter she framed her cheeks a small smile playing across her lips. "Hey bug, you ready to go home?" She asked her.

Emma's face lit up at those words, her rosy cheeks brightening.


Settled in the lounge room with the credits of their recent movie marathon playing in the background, Emma was laying on her back with an opened box of pizza on her lap. Having passed out into a food coma not even half way through the second movie.

Kate was finishing off her glass of wine as she picked up various things around the house and putting them back in their respective places.

Setting the broom against the wall in the kitchen, she took in the somewhat presentable house before she went back to the lounge room and picked Emma up, carrying her down the hallway towards her bedroom. Kate managed to bump her own hipbone on the hard wood edge of the door, stumbling yet not dropping her daughter between the doorway and the bed. With one hand holding the back of her neck securely and the other against the middle of her back as she set her down onto her bed.

Do not wake sleeping child. Oh god.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Kate brushed Emma's dark caramel locks away from her face before pressing a kiss to her forehead. Making sure that she was rugged up enough underneath the blankets and that the heater was working, she stood in the doorway watching her for a few more moments. Leaving the door slightly ajar, Kate returned to the kitchen and refilled her glass before setting about cleaning the lounge room.

The front door buzzer then started to insist on gaining her attention, shrill and repetitive like a sixteen year old teenager. With a sigh, Kate made her way to the door with one hand holding a half-empty pizza box and the other clutching her cooling wine. Blowing at a few loose strands that had fallen across her face and were sticking to her lips, she nudged the button near the door with her elbow.

"Who is it?" She rasped, her voice laced with exhaustion.

"Miss Beckett, it's Jonny. We have a long awaited parcel downstairs would you like us to bring it up to you?" The man on the end of the line spoke quickly, taking a quick breath at the end of his little speech.

Kate looked at her watch; 9.36pm. Usually they stopped running calls to the apartments around 7 unless there was an emergency or someone visiting. Clearing her throat, Kate nodded a few times before realising she needed to speak her answer.

"Yeah sure, no problem. Send it up I'll just be a minute." Kate spoke into the receiver before releasing the button and heading into the kitchen, placing the 2 items that had been occupying her hands.

Pulling her hair out of the bun that it had been in all day, Kate shook her hair out so that the layers fell into loose curls just below her shoulder blades, golden highlights gentling her appearance. Grabbing her wine glass and taking another swig before making her way back towards the front door, reaching it just as there was a knock against the hardwood.

Swinging the door open, Kate smiled softly as she was greeted with a large bouquet of red roses. "Thanks Jonny, you didn't have to bring them up tonight."

He took a few steps in and placed the flowers down on the table nearest to the door, a nervous smile flittering across his features as he looked between her and the door. A frown creased her forehead as she surveyed him. "Are yo-"She started, but was interrupted by a voice from her doorway.

"Yeah, he did."

Kate froze when another voice came from the doorway.

That- that raspy voice melted and froze her insides at the same time. Turning back towards the doorway, Kate's grip on the glass faltered as her fingers slipped down the edge, the red liquid shattering into a thousand pieces on her hardwood floors staining her feet in the amber coloured liquid.

Dark blue eyes met deep amber, black irises so large that they almost took over. Kate couldn't move, her eyes just pierced the man in her door way. The one that got away... The one that let her get away. What the hell was he doing here? In her house?

Pivoting at the waist, Kate shot daggers at Jonathan as her eyes grew wide; the turmoil inside of her spilling truth through her gaze. Nearly knocking the bunch of roses off the table, he muttered multiple apologies as he made his way past her and through the door, not once meeting her gaze as if frightened of what she may do to him. This was not how he expected the events to pan out tonight. Scurrying out the door he left the two of them to resolve their problems and make babies. He hoped.

"Kate, I'm sorry to impose on you. " he started again, taking a few steps forward.

Kate sighed, she knew she couldn't move without stepping on a piece of glass of some kind. How many years has it been and you can't even look at him? Coward.

"Here let me help you." He added, taking a few steps forward until he was less than a breath away from her. His coat fluttering at the backs of his knees, dark strands of hair falling into his eyes as he tilted his head giving her a small smile.

"Don't!" She inwardly shuddered, staring down at the ground, purposefully avoiding his gaze.

A crease flittered across his forehead, deepening whilst he studied her, his Kate. What happened to the carefree student whom lived for the thrill? Picked the lock on Pearl Jam's trailer? Who told him that she loved him whilst they spent the night lost in the middle of a tricks n mirrors maze.

Maybe it's just been too long.

Against her wishes, as most times, Rick moved forward and used his jacket to sweep up enough of the glass so that she could have a clear path. Kate watched the back of his head while he was nealed down in front of her, mind whirring a thousand miles a minute. Why was he here? Where was his wife/gf/daughter? And again...why was he here with her?

Once he finished, Kate stalked away from him and into the kitchen, foregoing the wine in the fridge and grabbing a beer from one of the chill baskets, popping open the lid on the edge of her - expensive - hardwood counters and sculling half the contents in one mouthful. Coughing as the bitter sludge burned down her throat, wiping the back of her hand across chapped lips.

A few seconds later, Rick was hot on her heels; hands still filled with her wine glass' broken contents, holding the neck of the beer bottle and pointing it towards the trash disposal unit next to the sink. Still not knowing what to say to him personally after all of these years. You let me down? I am not sure how to love anymore because of you?

Closing her eyes and tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear, she prayed he was just apart of her imagination. Maybe i've finally lost it.


Kate was pacing Rick's office; half a turkey and mayo sandwich in one hand and a bag clasped in the other one. She glided around the sturdy wooden desk and leather chair, twirling around as she reached the door - her eyes taking in the hundreds of books that lined his walls. Just as Kate reached her hand out to examine a particular leather bound novel, the door to his office opened and a woman charged inside in a flurry; the blonde woman carrying a large white box with both hands, stumbling and spilling half of it's contents over the floor. Kate jerked away from the bookshelf as the they hurried in, stumbling as the box - and woman - collided with her; spilling paper and Kate's bags contents everywhere, still managing to clutch onto her sandwich.

"Oh sh-" The woman started, before she noticed that it was Kate that she had knocked to the ground.

Biting her tongue, Kate stood up and gave Gina a small smile, her eyes darting around to the contents now coating the office floor. Moving swiftly Kate put her sandwich onto the desk and stooped down to help her with the papers. She stopped; her hands filled with the loose paperbacks clutched to her chest tightly enough to likely elicit dozens of papercuts. Kate's eyebrow hitched up towards her hair line when she realised that Gina still hadn't moved from her position against the desk, her eyes staring down at the ground; a small stick with two little red lines on it.