Chapter 3: The Princess and the Pooper

Waluigi snuff out the castle like a blue blooded bloodhound. He had always smelled the delicacies of the castle, but had never actually had a chance to stank up one of their toilets with his stench. Waluigi knew exactly what his diabolical plan to get into the castle would be... "WAAA..." Waluigi pounded on the door of the castle. A toad answered it. It was dressed in a leather collar with fluffy handcuffs and bright purple blue lipstick topped off with red eyeshadow...oh wait! Those are cuts and bruises! "Eh...?" Waluigi questioned. "no please...m...master isn't very happy right now..." The toad croaked, as if he were about to be electrocuted if he said otherwise. Waluigi didn't take the hint, or maybe he was too stupid to understand the hint. "Wa, get outta the way. It's Waluigi time." Waluigi shoved the toad out of the way and proceeded up to Daisy's room. He approached her room and peeked through the peephole like the skunk he was. He saw Princess Daisy praying on the bedside. Waluigi ruffled his overalls, licked his hand to slick his hair back, and opened the door. Princess Daisy quickly picked up her Holy Bible and held it in front of her, "IT'S NO USE MARIO! GOD WILL SAVE ME!" Daisy yelled, but then realized it wasn't Mario. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Princess Daisy screamed. "WWWWAAAAAAAAAAA!" Waluigi scaredly screamed back at her. He had not anticipated this. "WHO ARE YOU, WHO ARE YOU! WHERE IS LUIGI!" Daisy screamed while climbing on top of her bed. "Waaaaa, calm down. It is me, Waaaaaluigi. Waluigi bowed, which made his hat fall off to reveal hundreds of lice bugs in his hair. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Daisy screeched again. "Waaaa, it's ok princess." Waluigi tried to calm her down. She then began hyperventilating. Waluigi didn't know what to do so he waved his arms around, which made his ring fall off right into Daisy's face. "-gasp- is this...Luigi's?!" Daisy suddenly streamed tears out of her face. "Is...is...Luigi dead?" Daisy asked painfully. Waluigi thought about it for one millisecond and replied, "yes." "I WAS SAVING MYSELF FOR HIM!" Daisy started pounding her arms and legs on her bed while screaming and crying. "Wahahaha...now it's my chance." Thought Waluigi as he patted Daisy on the back. "Waa, there there Princess Daisy, I have just the thing to cheer you up." Waluigi pulled down his cap like a dickweed and pulled a rose out of his armpit. Daisy suddenly stopped crying and wide eyedly stared at the rose. "It...it's beautiful!" Princess Daisy kawaiily blushed. "Just like y..." Waluigi was cut off by the sound of knocking at Daisy's door. "IT'S A ME, MARIO!" Roared Mario from outside. "Quick! Hide under my bed!" Daisy ushered Waluigi under her bed. "Uh...come in, Mario..." Daisy reluctantly said. Mario entered in his assless chaps and cowboy hat with a toad walking on all fours in a dog suit on a leash. "I a expect you to be a joining a me in my a room in about a 2 hours with a Peach." Mario smiled in his mad way. "No!" Daisy crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue. Mario retaliated by whipping the toad with his lasso. It buffled in pain instead of screaming; since it had a gag in its mouth. "HMPH! You a WILL have a threesome with me, whether you a LIKE IT OR NOT!" Mario angrily stomped out of Daisy's room. "Phew, that was a close one." Daisy let Waluigi back out from under the bed. "Oh, please, help me so that I don't have to have a threesome with that Un-Christian man! He's such a...such a...piece of... CRAP!" Daisy gasped and covered her mouth. "Oh my good gracious, I cursed. I'm sorry, Lord savior almighty." She made the Christian cross sign on her chest. Waluigi said nothing. "Oh, what's your name by the way?" Daisy asked. "...WAAAAAluigi. I just told you a couple minutes ago." Waluigi said. "Oh, I'm sorry, you must have not been important then, hehe!" She kawaiily blushed. Waluigi let out a small "waaaaa..." "So...you must save us, Waluigi! I'm not sure how you can stop Mario, for I am just a weak woman, but never fear for me! The Lord is protecting me." She made another religious cross sign. "Waaaaatever." Waluigi went out Diasy's door, slightly upset that he couldn't confess his love to Daisy yet. Daisy held on to the rose that Waluigi gave her and smiled. Suddenly the rose grew an armpit out of it. Her nose crinkled and she SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHED so loud that everyone in the mushroom kingdom could hear it! Mario was not pleased as he stopped whipping his dog-toad and angered his mustache.