Deal

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Haruno Sakura or Uchiha Itachi


It was all just a dream; it was just a dream,

A deal with the devil? Never! It was a dream!

Open my eyes; I will wake up, I must wake up…

And I wake, and I screamed, I shouted so loud,

It was all in my head! Please, this is all in my head!

But I know…deep down buried inside me I know…

Everything…it ain't false…it is all shatteringly true.

Not a dream. Never was a dream. Now live with it.

-Denial


Sakura shivered as he leaned near. Whispering so softly, he left her, ears ringing, mind racing. A dream; it was a dream she wanted to wake up from. The cold, winter…she shivered once more. Unrelenting, his gaze, they had burned through her like hot sparks fire. She curled her arms closer to herself. 'It's just a dream', she told herself, unconvincingly. A dream she must awake from. She tossed her hair as she pinched herself, hard. The pain did not alleviate the panic she was feeling. The landscape had not melted away like she had thought it would.

'A dream! It's all a dream.' Sakura looked around, desperately. It was untrue. She did not do it. She did not see him. A loud sonorous chime. A loud hoot of the owls. The night darkened in a surreal blanket, dark shadows danced upon the rough stone walls, large, imposing and haunting. She shook her head, hands covering her face. 'Wake up. I must forget. Wake up. This is a dream.'

And then momentarily, she was blinded. She blinked. Darkness had swallowed her up. Everything was black. She started to grope around. 'Nonononono' she wished it be unreal. Wet and slimy, something grabbed her outstretched wrist. It pulled her down. She fell to the ground crumpled. She looked around wildly. 'Nononono!' She could feel it happening again. The feel of bony hands; they gripped at her clothes, suddenly now thin and revealing. The touched everywhere…Sakura shook hard to get up and get away, but shackles appeared. She couldn't move…ice settled over her heart. She couldn't move…

Blink. The light of the moon, silver and thin poked through the thick clouds. Its light shone upon her, pink hair shining bright and pale. Laughter; dark and spine crawling. She whipped around, eyes terrified, searching. 'Where am I?' she screeched out in her mind, afraid. The feel of hands was not out her head yet. She could still feel them. Feeling, touching. She shuddered repulsed. 'Nononononono,' she screamed at herself. 'Not happening! No again, please no!' Suddenly, out of the shadows, reached out a ghastly hand; white pale, groping blindly ahead of it, hand opening and closing upon nothing but air. She stifled a scream. 'It is just a dream,' she repeated to herself, desperately trying but fruitlessly to convince herself. The air around her suddenly started to crackle with restless foreboding.

Circling, around and around, everything mashed together in a torrent of black and white, the light and the dark. The moon spiraled from its heaven perch, the walls stretched beyond their definite heights. She felt herself propelled backwards. She was losing it, she was seeing double. A wave of dizziness, she fell to the ground, weak. The tried to right herself up, but she was losing her sense of balance. A whirlpool. Red eyes. She felt herself close her eyes involuntarily, feeling a sudden cold sensation washing consumed her. Fear gripped her heart. She struggled, and twisted, she turned, as she tried to draw breath. Lungs burning, body aching…

The nightmare broke and her body lunged forward. Silence was broken by her screams, and heavy panting as she gulped in air greedily. Before she knew where she was, or what had happened, a loud shrill shrieking of her alarm clock went off beside her, anchoring her to reality, reminding her. Sakura stopped screaming, bewildered for a second. She was sat upright on a bed, thick woolen blankets wrapped around her loosely. Emerald eyes looked around wildly, trying to gauge where she was. Familiar midnight blue walls met her frightened gaze first, then next a sturdy looking mahogany table at the corner of the room, bursting with white scattered papers. Sakura's breathing came out a bit easier, hand over her heart as she calmed herself down. She was safe. This was her room.

Riiiiing! Riiiiiing!

Sakura automatically reached over to the side of the bed, and slammed the alarm clock off. But sadly, she used too much force and said clock fell to the ground loudly with a hard 'thump', its twin batteries scattering on the floor. Sakura winced at the sound, rubbing her ears. Her ears seemed a little sensitive today, she thought absently getting up from her bed. Her legs were shaky and a little weak to put pressure on, but she still managed to stand up. She walked towards the window and grabbed at the horribly yellow patterned drapes, and threw them open wide.

Surprisingly, the glare of the Sun she had anticipated had not greeted her, instead a dark street with the lamp lights still flickering dimly. Sakura turned and checked the alarm clock. It read...Sakura rubbed her eyes and squinted at the long elongated hands, and the thin line marks. Her vision was slightly blurry, so she was not sure whether the time is 6:20 a.m. or 2:30 a.m. Sakura rubbed her arms. Either way, it was still definitely morning.

It was very cold; the temperature of the room seemed to be tipping neatly below 5 degrees Celsius. Sakura could feel the goose bumps awakening on her arms like bumpy stones on a smooth road as she rubbed at them, trying to regain the heat lost. Her feet were still shaky and could hardly hold her weight any longer. So she braced herself against the wall, sagging tiredly against it, closing her eyes.

Sakura was tired. Very very tired.

It had been a hectic week, where she had gotten little to no sleep. Her nights, her days…were plagued restlessly, tirelessly by the thoughts him. Normally, it started with small nightmares, nothing as serious to force her to experience insomnia. But it had started small. So small.

Sakura groaned tiredly as she tried to urge herself to get up. To go to the bathroom. Spinelessly, with her two legs in front of her, she managed to get up, but immediately sagged against the walls again. 'So tired' her mind protested in response. Her body ached. Her head ached. She wanted to pass out. She wanted to give in. But sleep eluded her. There will not be rest in the blissful darkness waiting for her. Another nightmare would be waiting for. Undoubtedly crueller that the last.

That had been a time, where she would have spent her nights asleep like a normal person, covers tucked under her, breathing even with a soft and steady pulse. There would have been no dreams, no nightmares. Just a peaceful dreamless sleep. There would have been no waking up in the middle of the night, with her screaming her head off. No. There have been none of that.

But this was before…this was before everything.

Sakura tried batting away the memories but it was useless. They came flooding in, overwhelming her senses as she remembered everything. Down to the last itsy-bitsy details. The harbingers. The catalysts. It was the start. It was the starting of her descent. She had started everything. Everything. Sakura didn't want to remember. All the memories. The shame. The blood. The…pain. She doesn't want to remember. But she could still feel it. No matter how hard she tried scrubbing herself…it was still there. Taunting her. Reminding her. Worse than ever now…now she had made that deal. She had to pay it. She's trapped.

That night; she's remembering it now. It was when her whole world started to crack, and not long after… shatter. That night.

That horrible night.

Her rage had been paramount. Unconscionable. His blood had called out to her then. Urging, singing. She wanted to do it. Have the liquid split on to the rough ground where he had…had done it. It was unforgivable. It was unatoned for. No more…cries for his blood…higher, shrieking so loud in her head…Sakura shook her head, trying to once more to rid herself of that time. But like a ball already set in motion, it continued on moving, not stopping, playing. Repeatedly, over and over again. Screaming. Cackling.

Sakura hugged herself tight, arms wrapping themselves around her body as if trying to shield herself. Her body suddenly ached more than it should from insomnia. Bruises long gone from her person started to reappear in her mind eye, seeing them as fresh as ever. Remembering how she had gotten them. Remembering how she avenged them.

Memories forged, seared in her mind. They can't be forgotten.

Always…she's remembering.


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