I do not own Syfy's Alice.
Should though. It's my story. Partially anyway.
Not So Mad
No Fairy-Tale, This
How to describe being a kid in Wonderland?
Hmm, well that's a thinker.
I'll give it a whirl.
Ever been to circus or a carnival funhouse?
Now, take that, turn it on its ear, take away the cotton candy and gumdrops and replace it with hallucinogenic 'shrooms.
Like that.
Only not at all.
I had a mum.
She was addicted to Tea.
I had a da.
He left 'cause me mum was addicted to Tea.
I had a cat.
But me mum traded him for Tea.
I had a best friend.
His name was March. He was like me.
He hated Tea.
Guess I should backtrack a little.
Kinda jumped in the water without checking for singing walruses, yeah?
Wonderland's a lot like places here in this world.
The further down you go, the more base the nightlife.
I was down there on level with the giant Snails and mudslugs.
What I mean to say is, we were low.
Only I didn't know it.
I just thought everybody was hungry and cold.
I thought everybody scrounged for food.
I thought everybody's mum was a shriveled up Tea-head.
I thought that's just the way life was.
Fact of the matter, she was always there when I came home. No latchkey kid for me.
Sometimes that doesn't mean too much, to be honest.
And a'course, Wonderland is a little unique in the naming department.
See, we're given temporary names at birth.
And when we're older we develop our own names. Or they're given to us.
I don't remember really having a name in the beginning.
Me Tea-addled mum mostly just called me 'boy'.
As in 'boy, bring Mummy some more Tea'.
And 'boy, remember to stay away from the Suits. They'll take you to the Queen and she'll cut off your head quicker than a cat's grin'.
Once, after I became the proprietor of the Tea Shop and came to visit, she mistakenly thought I was a 'Tea-paying suitor' come to call.
I wasn't.
But I did bring her Tea.
Me best seller.
Peace.
Because aside from everything that had and hadn't happened between us, she was still me mum.
Used up and tossed away by the Queen and her minions.
Once she had been a beautiful, blonde haired beauty practically worshipped in the courts of the Queen of Hearts.
She'd been wrapped deep in the clutches of Queen herself and given everything she could possibly desire.
And then my father, a Suit set to protect the Queen, had fallen in love with her.
The Queen grew angry and jealous of my mother. And decided to have her killed.
My father gave up everything to save her.
He sold out his friends, his family, everything to save her.
And took her away to reside in the dredging depths of Wonderland where no one would ever find her.
But something found her.
The lust for Tea.
And me da stayed as long as he could.
And did whatever he had to provide her with her Tea.
When I was babe, I've heard tell, I screamed day and night because my mother's body was no longer supplying me with Tea.
I shook and wailed and no one could make me stop.
Me da tried to comfort me as me Tea-addled mum turned away into her cups.
I remember him when I was a young child.
He was gaunt and grim.
He hated that he had abandoned his family and friends for the empty, hollow shell of the woman who no longer thanked him but only begged for more, more, more.
And me, the needy child. Needy for sustenance, for love, for guidance and support.
I remember the last thing he said to me on the day he left our meager flat and disappeared.
"Stay away from the Tea, boy. Whatever you do. Promise me you'll stay away from the Tea."
I promised I would.
I didn't.
Confession's good for the soul, they say. Who are these mysterious 'they' who know so much anyhow? Well, anyway, it's not doing me much good, I'll admit.
But I promised I'd tell me story properly and some of it ain't all cheerful nonnies and oyster smiles.
Anyway, a tip o' my hat to ImagineWho and kelleyj who enjoy a good laugh now and then it seems. Per'aps you'll forgive a bit o' serious here and there, yeah?
