A/N: Soooo the drama. I originally introduced a specific character here soley as a plot device and a foil for Therrin's inner turmoil, but then I had a revelation and now there's going to be a sequel. Yes, a crack sequel. Just.. don't ask, alright? It happened. Things Progress! Maybe Two More Chapters! Le Gasp!

Much, much love to Crisium, who has kindly let me play in her sandbox. Therrin and Stephen are, of course, from her wonderful works. Everything else is owned by Bioware and I make no profit, etc etc. Audrey is all mine and, although her name is not a typical Fereldan name, she is based only very loosely on a different Audrey. Which will probably become clear.


She returns to him later, much later. Looking tired and thoroughly worn down by the whole proceedings, she slips into their chambers with little ceremony, and he turns back to the window, not entirely confident in his ability to do the right thing if he should look at her.

"How is he?"

"Confused.. but I think we all are. He seems to be.. well, completely healed. He remembers everything from before. Since Lothering, though.." She sighs softly, and it echoes around the room, rolling down his neck. "It's like things are fuzzy. He's not sure about the details. He was shocked when I told him I was queen." He hears her sigh, soft steps crossing the room as she places small hands against his back. "I'm not sure what to do about it all, really. Would it be wrong to ask for a day off from everything?"

"No.. I think you've earned it, the past few hours. Maybe even a proper holiday. I hear Orlais is nice this time of year."

"Are you alright?"

"I've had better days," he admits, because he cannot, just cannot lie to her, not now. "Listen.. I've thought about this, and I know you're going to shout at me one way or another and I'd rather you shouted at me for being noble than for being selfish.." He is holding his breath, he realises, but he continues anyway. "I'm okay, you know. If you want to.. try again. Go back to what you had. You were happier with him, I think, and you've got the chance.. if you wanted to take it, I can't blame you, and I won't stop you.. Maker, I don't think I could even if I wanted to, but.. well, I want you to be happy, Therrin. If that means letting you go.. so be it." He smiles slightly. "Besides, I.. well, I'm not sure I'll be ready for it any time soon, but they say the third marriage is the charm, right?" There, he thinks. At least it's said. She does not move for a moment, before her hands slip away from his back and he knows exactly what she's going to say next, there will be shouting and he will have to stand there and be berated like a child -

"Oh, Alistair." It is soft and sad and he cannot stop himself turning around to wrap arms around her as she sags against him, utterly defeated. "Why do you have to be so.. you?"


She watches the queen in the garden, from the safety of her new balcony – she has been appointed a room of her own, promoted to the service of the queen directly. The king is busy in a meeting, of course, but Audrey finds herself wondering if he absolutely had to be there, and whether this is a sign of things to come. Therrin looks fine – more than fine, actually, as she had approached the courtyard with a smile that sang of love and happiness. Audrey wonders which of the queens two men has put that smile on her face.

Behind her, another man follows her lead – Arl Teagan Guerrein, one of the few men in the whole of Ferelden who could safely escort the queen without suffering the royal wrath. Attractive in his own way, once, but now his face is drawn and full of sorrow. Audrey knows why – the whole palace knows of the lost love of the Arl of Redcliffe, and they mourned for them. The bard Leliana had been gone for two years now, and every day seemed to show on his face.

"You know, I received a letter from her," Therrin says casually, but the gleam in her eye is obvious. Teagan, for his part, says nothing. "She's in Orlais, now. Terribly bored, so I hear." He makes a noise, noncommittal, and she laughs.

"Lady, did you not call me in to assist with a problem?" He gestures around him, one hand on his decorative sword as he sighs resignedly.

"You're quite right. Let us deal with the issue, hm?" She turns to him, hands on hips. "You're a terrible Arl." He winces at her words but does nothing to deny them. "I've half a mind to banish you, for the safety of Ferelden. Your lack of attention when it comes to Landsmeets and affairs of state are borderline negligent."

"Your Majesty.."

"And I've told you not to call me that," she adds, tapping her foot. "Yes, banishment sounds like the right attitude after all." His jaw drops. "Unless you fully commit to doing what is in the best interests of the arling of Redcliffe before the season is out, I shall banish you forthwith. To a little province in Orlais, perhaps.. I hear the weather in Arlesans is wonderful this time of year."

"B-but.." The look of shock on the man's face is priceless. And then Audrey watches as the queen laughs, a giggle turning into hysterical cackling, and the Arl, stunned to silence, simply watches for a long moment before realisation dawns and his shoulders sag in defeat. "Arlesans, you say?"

"Yes," she confirms, bringing her laughter under control and wiping her eyes. "I would recommend it as a holiday spot, in fact, should you choose to take one any time soon." She reaches out, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Do what is best for your heart, you daft man. Go get her."

He smiles suddenly, the weight of two years lifted with her words. "I shall, my lady. But first, we have a plant to examine."

"I confess, I did request your presence for my own machinations. But it is good to have a friend here in these troubling times." She turns to the bushes, kneeling down and murmuring something that the elf-maiden cannot quite catch.

Suddenly, she hears a loud knock, and the voice she has thought about for the last few hours.

"Miss Audrey?"


"Why do you have to be so.. you?" She is unreadable at this moment, voice cracked with hurt – but who for, he has no idea.

He chuckles weakly. "Well, I have to have some redeeming features for being a blithering idiot most of the time," he reasons, one hand stroking her hair softly. "Of course, if you wanted to stay, I'd be okay with that too. Very okay, actually. I'm just saying.. I mean, I'm not going to stand in the way.. if that's what you want.."

"Shut up," she murmurs, head tilted back as she smiles. "I do wish you'd stop thinking I'd settled for you." She reaches up to stroke his cheek lightly, a tender action that stirs his heart into beating doubletime. She still had that effect on him, and he was content to let her have her power. "Despite the situation, I think I would have quite fallen for you all over again, regardless."

"Oh. Really?" A pause. "Good. Because between you and me? I really don't think I could manage a third wedding. They're far too much pomp and circumstance, and really? I could do without the hassle, I get enough grief from Eamon and the other nobles as it is for my actions.." She is laughing at him, he thinks as she reaches up to press a kiss against his lips – but as one kiss becomes another and another and then clothes begin to disappear, he is very much okay with that.


"Miss Audrey?" She jumps at the sound of his voice, a completely alien tone in comparison to before. Turning slowly, she drinks in the sight of him. He holds himself differently now, back a little straighter and eyes filled with life as he hangs awkwardly at her door. "I, uh.. I didn't know where you'd be, so I asked.. can I come in for a moment?"

"O-of course!" She scurries away from the balcony, pulling up a chair for him from her table. He smiles gently, stepping inside and gesturing for her to sit down.

"I.. wanted to see you. I know things have become a bit.. strange, and you're in the middle of all this with no idea about the truth. It doesn't seem fair to you, to be so in the dark." He kneels in front of her, looking up to her eyes, and she ducks her eyes, blushing slightly. "You're the only person around here who tried to be my friend, I think. So I want you to know.. about me, about who I am, all the stuff that went missing. Is that.. is that okay?" He sounds slightly nervous. She nods lightly, and for the next half an hour she learns – about the Tower, and the bloodmages, and Therrin the enchanter, and lyrium – and somewhere between Teagan's failed proposal and that last fight at Lothering she bursts into tears, her heart fit to burst at this man's life of sadness. He smiles slightly, reaching out to hold her hand.

"I-I'm sorry," she sobs. "It's j-just so.. so t-terrible! You and the qu-queen.. so h-happy.. and then t-to have that t-torn away.."

"It wasn't so bad," he murmurs gently. "I didn't know it was missing before, and now.. well, I don't really remember much from inbetween. Just.. feelings, sort of. How the rose petals felt when they were healthy. The smell of the throne room. Your perfume.." He chuckles slightly and brings her wrist up to his face. ".. and how it would get sweeter when your face got red," he adds in a whisper, the words ghosting over her skin. She shivers, face blooming at his words, and he grins – it looks so out of place on him, despite his shift in personality.

"M-Mister Cullen..?"

"Audrey, you were the only person who cared. The ONLY person." He cants his head, the smile softer now. "Think about it, just for a moment.. I didn't know any better at the time, but I was so lonely. The only other people I could talk to, I had to get a royal appointment with. There was only you.. sweet Audrey.." He kisses her wrist lightly, eyes watching her as her breath hitches.

There is a scream, a deathly cry from the garden and her head whips around, hand tugged from his grasp.

"Therrin," he growls, leaping up and over the bed to watch from the balcony. She knocks over the chair in her haste to follow.

From their viewpoint she watches in horror as Queen Therrin screams again – this time for aid as Arl Teagan's knees buckle and his sword drops from his hands, collapsing into a pool of his own blood with little ceremony.