Chapter Three
"Claire," I replied. "I think we need to talk."
"Yeah," she said quietly. She made no move at all. Instead she just stood frozen in the doorway.
"Has Michael…"
"He went to work," she said answering my question before I had a chance to finish it. Sometimes it was scary to think about how connected we were. At how we could usually tell what the other was thinking through a single look. Needless to say the incident we were in now was the exception to the rule.
"Good." We needed time alone to discuss things. Without constantly being interrupted by our inquisitive roommates. I loved them and everything but although I knew that they meant well, this was between Claire and I. Nobody else. Not even those closest to us.
"So…" she said shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
"You lied to me," I blurted out. I didn't mean for it to sound so harsh and blunt.
Hurt spread across her entire face. Like any and all the hope she had had, vanished. "Shane-"
"No listen to me." I needed to get what I was thinking out in the open because it was suffocating me. I needed to share the burden of my feelings. "You lied to me Claire. I thought we were way past the stage in a relationship where we couldn't trust each other. In fact, I'm not sure we've ever been at the stage. For as long as I've known you, I've been completely honest with you… about everything. My family, my exes and even about my feelings for you. And then you do this to me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel Claire?"
I gave her no time whatsoever to respond and continued, "I just cannot comprehend what the hell was going through your mind. You're supposed to be the smart one around here. The one who has the answers to everything and always does the right thing. For a genius you've been pretty dumb. You've certainly not been acting like the Claire Danvers I fell in love with."
She stared blankly at me for a few moments. Clearly bemused at the amount I'd said. She knew that I wasn't always good with saying what I was thinking in the right way but the words had just flown right out of my mouth. "Are you breaking up with me?" she asked.
Well that wasn't what I meant. Why would she think that? I quickly ran through the conversation in my head but I could find nothing that I had said that would have made her jump to that conclusion. "That's not-" She interrupted me trying to explain myself.
"No Shane. Don't. Just don't. I know I hurt you but I thought we had something together. I thought you loved me, no matter what. Obviously I was wrong." Claire turned on her heels and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut, leaving me stood open mouthed on my own.
Pulling myself together I chased after her. I smashed into the bathroom door feeling the full force of its lock to my chest. 'Ow' I thought. That was going to leave a mark. "Claire," I started, unsure of how to continue.
Instead of saying the first thing that came into my head, which would ultimately be the wrong thing, I sat down outside the bathroom door with my back against it. I seemed to be making a habit of this. Amongst heart wrenching sobs, I heard Claire do the same thing as she landed with a thud.
"When did things get so complicated?" I asked myself whilst half heartedly laughing. "Who am I kidding? Morganville's always been complicated. It's a town run by vampires for God's sake." Great. Now I was talking to myself. How much more insane could I go? There must be some kind of limit I could reach.
There was no movement to be heard on the other side of the door. I just sat there, waiting for her to be ready to come out. I felt like an idiot talking to a door. Whether or not Claire finally came out because she thought I was gone or not, I was unsure. But when the door finally did open, I fell backwards. Usually something like that would have her in a fit of laughter but not today. She just stared. On the plus side, she'd stopped crying. I suspected she didn't have anymore tears left to cry.
After I'd readjusted myself to sit against the wall instead of the door, I patted the ground as a gesture to ask her to sit next to me. A second or two passed and then she gave in and did as I asked. "So," I said at the same time as she said "Shane."
"Sorry," we said at the same time which despite everything made us both smile. I'd forgotten what it was like to see her smile. It felt like it had been an eternity since she had last worn it. I couldn't imagine how much stress she'd been under the past week. My poor baby girl. The bastard who put her through that was going to pay. I'd make sure of that.
"You first," she said. I noticed she was trying to put on a brave face for me even though she was the one that was now hurting. Typical Claire. Always trying to protect me.
"I'm sorry I upset you," I said softly. I was trying to start off with something easy and build up to talking about my feelings. Gasp right? A guy talking about his feelings. Shock horror! That was a rarity if ever there was one. Of course though, Claire being Claire, she couldn't just accept my apology and let me get on with it.
"Shane you have absolutely nothing to apologise for. It's my fault not yours. How could you even-" I put my hand over her mouth to make her stop rambling. I mean, she wasn't yet but she would be if I let her continue.
"Listen Claire," I said removing my hand from her mouth. Instead of looking at her I picked a spot on the wall opposite and stared at it. "I'm not breaking up with you. I love you too much to do that. I'm a little hurt that you thought you meant that little to me."
"Shane-" I silenced her with a look. She gave a tiny apologetic smile and waited patiently for me to continue.
I went back to looking at the spot on the wall. "What I'm trying to say is that I am hurt Claire. You have no idea how much it hurts. To know that my Dad is still alive. Well sort of anyway, you know what I mean. You know we never got along when I was growing up but that's not the point. At the end of the day he's still my Dad."
"I know," she whispered. When I didn't show any signs of responding to her she reached up and gently placed her hand on my cheek, turning my face towards hers. I couldn't help but reach up and put my hand over hers. She stared directly into my eyes, making me forget all of my worries. Then she leant forward and kissed me tenderly on the lips. And all I could do was kiss her back. Kissing Claire always made me forget the bad things and remember what good things I had in my life. Her being the main one.
Slowly, the kiss heated up and eventually we were both so out of breath that I had to regretfully pull away, only to lean my forehead against hers. I'd missed this Claire and I was extremely unwilling to risk losing that again so I kept my eyes tight shut as an extra measure to hold on to it.
"I'm so sorry Shane. It's been tearing me apart having to lie to you. I love you so much."
"I love you too," I replied. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I'm unashamed to say that I started to cry. Claire held me in her arms for what felt like hours. Reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. That we were going to be okay. And it was exactly what at that point in time, I needed to hear.
If you like this please check out my other story for The Morganville Vampires. It's called Trouble Returns. It would really help me out because I'm trying my best to write a really good story but it's not getting many reviews. And yes, this is shameless self promotion.
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