The three years at sea had changed me in ways I could have never imagined, but there were somethings about myself that I know would never change. I was still a perfectionist. Everything needed to be flawless for it to succeed. But, it seemed, as many well crafted plans as I would lay, they all seem to go asunder. No matter how much time I put into it, no matter how hard I worked, no matter if everything went perfectly, there was always something that would rear its head and throw my plan into disarray. At first I thought it was a fluke, but as time went on and many of my stratagems were picked apart; I realized that they were never going to be good enough. It was one of the many things that weighed on me the most in these last three years. It was the realization that I wanted order in a world full of randomness. If I am thankful for anything, though, it's what my many failures have taught me to always be thinking on my toes. The best way to face ordeals is to not let them catch you by surprise and to calmly yet readily bend yourself to circumstance.
I sigh as I walk down the corridor of the ship pondering to myself as I proceed to my room at the far end on the left. I illuminate the hallway with a quick breath of air which breathes life into the flickering candles. It still hurts my mind to know that I am powerless to control most things. The tides, the wind, the sun, or people. In my many encounters I also found that intimidation doesn't always work either. Sometimes it requires coaxing, which requires the right blend of charm and charisma to make it work. Neither of which I possess in abundance. Regardless of what I couldn't control (or skills I didn't possess), the things I could control I did, and exercised my will for absolute perfection. That's why tomorrow morning I will be in flawless array for my father who sent word that he would meet on the dock when the tide allows the ship to come in. But it has been three long years. Will he restore his favor? Or will I just become a shunned outsider in his court? So many questions and anticipations that it was causing my stomach to cramp, or maybe it was the cook's dinner, one could hardly tell. But I was determined not to show my fears, I will be stout as a rock, I told myslef, as cold as ice. Father always did appreciate inner strength after all.
I open the door to see my dimly lit room. I snap my fingers and the torches on the wall come to life to reveal a surprise. On my mat, sprawled out in an awkward and uncouth manner, was the Avatar, dressed in his clothes. He snores peacefully while I gaze at him. Finally I put my foot down. "What the..!" I paused being mindful of the words I was about the say. I calm my voice, "What are you doing here." I say in a loud yet emotionally retrained voice.
He awakens from his slumber and rubs his eyes, responding almost as if he wasn't asleep at all but merely waiting. "I dunno." he said shirking his shoulder, "They told me to wait here until you arrived."
My eye twinges with anger. Either the guard is lazy or stupid, knowing their performance in the past, I would say it's a mixture of both. I'll have to deal with him later. "Well, you're not allowed to sleep here! Go next door!"
He continued like he didn't hear a single thing I said, "Have you ever stared up at the night sky to count the stars?"
"No! Now get out of my bed!"
"I don't know." he said looking down as his nails, "Seems like since I'm the Avatar and you're precious war hinges on me being here; I would say better treat me pretty nice."
"Get out now!"
"Make me." he said defiantly.
I grit my teeth and make the flames on the torches rocket into the ceiling. "Ah! Okay! Okay!" he said reeling back. "I'm going! I'm going!" He clumsily scampers out the door. "Sheesh! I just wanted to have a mat or something instead of sleeping on the cold deck."
I sigh. The things I do for needy people. "Fine! Get a mat! But be quick about it!"
Still with a look of horror on his face, he goes to the closet and tries to pull it open but fails. After several more tugs with no affect he stops and says, "It's not opening."
"Here, let me show you." I go over to the closet and open the door with ease. And stare into the closet chamber. "See! Easy as..." I didn't get to finish my sentence. Before I could think twice a gust of wind from behind blew me into closet floor. The door latched behind me. I stand to my feet, totally taken off guard. "Aang! Aang you little treacherous pig! Let me out! Let me out right now!"
"Actually" I hear him say, "I think I will sleep on your bed. Looks a lot more comfortable."
"You just wait till I get out of here! You're in for it then! You think fire bending is the worst I can do, you've gotta another thing coming!"
"I'd adopt a better attitude Azula. I believe your fancy dress wouldn't appreciate it."
I pound on the door. "You...wouldn't...dare!" I say between punches.
I hear the ruffle of silk coming from outside the door "Feels nice. Maybe I can use it as a blanket. Wanna scream anymore?"
I seethe with anger and bawl up my face into a look of utter rage. I remember my previous self-badgering about charm. So I compose myself in say in the nicest voice I can, "Aang, I'm willing to cooperate. What do you want? Money, jewels, maybe my birth-right to the throne?"
"Meh. Money is boring and jewels hurt my eyes and politics never really interested me."
I drop the fake sincerity. "Then what do you want you little troll!"
"Marco!"
I pause at the statement, caught a little off guard by the innocent childishness of it. "Polo." I reply shortly.
A few minutes pass in silence, then in desperation and to the point of pleading "Aang" I said "Don't mess it up. I need it!"
"Sure sure." said he, "I haven't even touched it."
"Good. Cause if you do, you're dead."
"I guess we all are in the long run of things."
I bat my eyes. Such profound words from a twelve year old who just two minutes ago was holding me hostage with my dress. "Yeah. I never thought of that."
"I always wondered why someone would choose to fight as a soldier." said he " To leave your family, your home, your life to march on campaign in the summer heat and winter snow. But, I guess if you come to the realization that death is eventuality it makes it that much easier to deal with."
I feel a knot form in my stomach. I had seen the parades of fresh recruits going off to fight. The crowds waved and cheered and they waved back, smiling. It was regular thing for me to the point where I didn't think much of it, but the boy's words suddenly put such a macabre revelation on the image, that I regret not partaking more heartily to wish the soldiers luck. A few moments of silence pass between us before I ask, "So why do you count the stars Aang?"
"When I was with my friends, we would have contests to see who could count the most stars. But I usually fell asleep before I got past one hundred. I guess that's just me though."
"So what did you and you're friends do for fun?"
"Lots of stuff. If there wasn't something to do, we would always invent way to keep ourselves occupied. I remember, right before I left the air temple, I was learning to play chess with some of the scholars."
"Chess? I have a chess set right here." I pull out an elaborate wooden table with many ornate hand-painted figures residing on the spaces. I never used it, but I had learned the game from members of court who played it religiously every day. "I can teach you if you like." I didn't know if it was the heat of the ship or my own bleeding heart, but I was truly sincere in my offer.
"Sure, I never got past learning what the, uh... What's the castle thingy?"
"The rook?"
"Yeah! The rook! I never learned anything past the pawns and the rook. You're not gonna try to kill me now when I open the door?"
"No." I said flatly.
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise."
"Pinky promise."
I stand with my pink erect in the air, "I do pinky promise."
"Now do it with sugar on top."
"Aang!"
"Alright! Alright! Geez, you need to calm down."
"Well its hot in here and there's no fresh air!"
I hear the latch on the door unbolt and the door slowly creak open. He has his hands covered over his bent body as if expecting to be struck by lightning as soon as the door opened. Instead, I walked out with the countenance of a princess and lay the board before him. "Ready to start?"
"Sure..."
We spent the next few hours playing the game. We chatted over this and that and whatever else. We laughed and joked. It was odd. I don't think there was anyone else I could have been this open with, not even my brother. It was like I had a friend for the first time. Someone I could talk honestly to. It was great to converse and the hours flew by until it was nearly two hours past midnight.
I yawned."Well, I think we should rest. It's going to be a long day tomorrow and I don't want father to see me tired."
"You really want to please him, don't you?"
"Well, he's not just my father, he's my lord. I am not just his daughter, I am his servant. His approval or disapproval mean everything. Life or death. I just happened to rub him the wrong way..." I touch the scar on my eye.
"I see. I guess...I guess I wouldn't know."
"No. I doubt anyone else does. They go about their lives, but everything is chosen for me. What I can and can't say, how I can and can't behave, it feels so stressful sometimes, because you have the weight of the world on your back. Everyone looks to you for guidance. One mistake and you lose the affection of your people. It's a razor's edge to tread on."
"Well...I guess I'll be going to bed now too." He then hauls himself off the floor.
"Hey!"
He turns around, "What?"
"You forgot your mat!" I throw the mat at him.
"Oh...thanks."
I apologize to anyone for breaking canon and using chess. Since nothing was ever revealed about Pai-Sho in the series, it would be presuming of me to try to fill in the gaps. On that note, I like incorporating elements of reality and sometimes myth into my stories. In any case, as fair warning, I will be diverging from the canon even more in the future. But not terribly. Just a heads-up to all you die hard Avatar fans.
I would also like to thank my German readers which always means a lot. Danke. For now, at least: Tschuss.
