Title: The Lovin' Feeling of Evil
Authors: Tu as Ten AND Three, Demon as Simm!Master AND Delgado!Master (written as S!Master and D!Master)
Rating: T for jealousy... lots of jealousy
Summary: Because 'Time Crash' wasn't enough crack!paradox time… Tu and I have gone slightly madder than usual and given you a DOUBLE paradox of slashy, crack, time-line-breaking WIN. Prepare for your brains to be burnt and your NuWho to be ruined. **BTW, this is turning about to be very M in parts and much longer than we anticipated so, just bear with us ^__^'**
Warnings: CRACK!PARADOX(ES), FOURTH-WALL-BREAKAGE, AND SLIGHTLY ILLEGAL MEMORY-SHARING, MAJOR EOT SPOILERS (set immediately after EOT, and for that, it's slightly AU)
**The Council of the Time Lord Slashers has banned this fic on most of the universe and on all planets with intelligent life, as of now, it has officially been purged from the Matrix (along with the biodata of the authors known as Tu and Demon)**
Three: *eyebrowarch of win* It seems we have a bit of a paradox on our hands.... some of us more than others *innuendo filled smirk*
D!Master: *blush of Rassilon* My dear Doctor, erm... *rebuttons costume* *notices that neither the new Doctor nor, what he assumes is, the new Master, have broken eye contact since they saw each other* *is pretty sure it would be wise not to disturb them*
S!Master: *continues smirking, staring at the Doctor, waits for him to break the silence*
Ten: *has had his focus completely narrowed to the Master--his Master--the Master contemporary to his timeframe* It's... it can't be...it's you! But how? You... I thought you...
S!Master: *smirk deepens* Thought I what? *hisses* Died? *invites himself in* You should know me better than that by now, Doctor... *totally was not a blatant reference to his earlier self* *is determined not to tell him anything*
Ten: *quietly* Yes. *composing himself and stepping away from the console, determined not to give the Master the satisfaction* Or at the very least trapped in the Time Lock. *awkward pause as he decides whether or not to actually say this* I tried... Once I recovered from… well... Long story. I tried to come back for you.
S!Master: *face softens slightly* *is almost willing to tell him that... but not yet* Oh, Doctor... *voice is soft, almost tender* YOU may not have been able to find me *runs back to Three, pulling him out of the doorway, the TARDIS closes herself, annoyed with all this rubbish* but he did! *whispers in Three's ear* go with it.
Three: *brief disbelieving stare* *starts* Yes--yes, I did. Luckily the poor fellow managed to convince me of who he was before I turned him over to Unit. As you can imagine, we had quite a bit to discuss. *little frown* ... *possessive cling to the Master, with a small grope because he can get away with it*
D!Master: *blush of Rassilon* *jealous!pout and not even trying to hide it* *really wished he'd gotten farther with the new Doctor now*
S!Master: *grin* *cover slight blush with a laugh* *nibbles at the older Doctor's ear as an excuse to whisper* Don't push your luck, old man.
Three: *resists urge to scowl* *seriously considering scrapping the plan and dragging his Master out by the ear to go make this up to him*
Ten: *staaares* *pouts* *flails* But--but how! No offense, but our TARDIS wasn't exactly in tiptop shape-- *TARDIS!Grumble* No offense! *pout*
Three: *sputters a bit* It just so happens I found the heart of the paradox-- the eye of the storm, if you will, and managed to follow it. *Will not add that he followed it in Bessie. Ten would laugh :~:*
S!Master: Yes, followed me right along, didn't you? *resists the urge to make a ridiculous sentimental statement that would normally make his Doctor wibble, but would see right through* *wraps an arm around the Doctor's neck and gropes his back just a little as he works his way down Three's neck*
D!Master: *BLUSH OF RASSILON mixed with fury* *splutters slightly and goes to stand next to the newer Doctor* *notices his hands clenching and unclenching, grabs one of them and nods to him as he turns back questioningly*
Ten: *gives the Master's hand a squeeze before turning back to the other two* Master... please, I'm sure we can settle this, find some compromise.
Three: I think the first step would be to return us to our proper timelines *glances at the handhold* *isn't jealous* *really*
Ten: Oh, do I have to?
S!Master: *rolls eyes privately* *nuzzles Three's head as he turns back to his Doctor* *dryly* Yes, Doctor? *smirks, he can see the pang of jealousy and hurt behind his eyes* *no way is he calling it off yet, everything's going perfectly* *notices the handhold* *aww, his poor earlier self can't contain himself, he's so jealous* *well, not that he can blame him, Three never was all that... affectionate* *is momentarily disgusted with himself for putting his earlier self through all this torture*
Three: *notices that the Master's tensed up* *runs his hand down the Master's back and gives his side a little, reassuring squeeze* Well, I suppose you don't. The paradox is at least semi stable, at the moment-- what have you been doing with the web of time, old chap, it feels as though it's been stretched to the limit—
Ten: *shifts guiltily* *clings to Delgado!Master* Long story.
Three: I'd imagine so. Still, if you two are so comfortable with each other *hurt glare* I suppose we could work something out...
D!Master: *bites lip* *makes an uncomfortable sound*
S!Master: *laughs quietly, but it gets louder* Oh, come on Doctor, we're all friends here, let's tell it! That wonderful long story of how we killed each other in the end *sparkle of malice*
D!Master: *confused, and slightly scared, eye contact with Three*
Three: *flinches away from the eye contact* *yes, he caught a few strands of something like that while the Master was in his head*
Ten: *slightly panicked, not just for the Time Line* Master---*takes a small, tentative step forward* That's not what happened, and you know it.
D!Master: *straightens up from Three's reaction* Yes, indeed, Master, I rather think not. Because even if what you say is true, though I highly doubt it, we *gesturing to Three and himself* can never hear it. A paradox of this magnitude is bad enough without the sharing of memories we haven't had yet.
S!Master: *rolls eyes* Fine, go on then you two *shoves Three at his proper Master* go play nice together. Me and the other one have something to discuss... *leer*
Ten: *looks extremely worried* Yes, yes, I'm afraid we do, don't we? That's a shame, though, we were just starting to get to know each other. *looking at Delgado!Master* *really, he could just keep him, he was hardly that irredeemably homicidal* Before you're told anything vital about your futures-- spoilers and all that. *still not letting go of that joke, even though no one present gets it*
Three: *stumbles, glares back at Simm!Master* *brushes himself off* A bit late for that, I'm afraid. *humorless smirk* *gestures to Delgado!Master* Well? Are you coming?
D!Master: *eyes their still joint hands, looks tentatively up at Ten* *draws close to him* *it's hard to do this while Three is watching*
S!Master: *sighs audibly* Oh for Rassilon's sake, I didn't mean GO! I meant just go into another room, do something, but the big boy and I have unfinished business.
Three: *shocked and more than a little hurt. He and the Master are enemies, but surely the man wouldn't simply--* Yes. Yes, of course. *cold smile at his older self* I'll just go put the kettle on, shall I?
Ten: Oh, that'd be brilliant! *beams*
Three: *sputters indignantly*
D!Master: *blush of Rassilon* Um, yes, I'll... get the sugar... *wanders a bit aimlessly toward the kitchen, really hoping it's in the same place it was when Three had it*
Three: *reaches out to touch his arm* *stops short of touching him* This way, I think *gestures in the opposite direction from the kitchen on his TARDIS* Call it a hunch.
