Clean Slate

Chapter Three – Toast

When Carrie stepped out onto the patio after emptying the contents of her stomach and rinsing out her mouth, she found it empty. Spike's water, her glass of lemonade, and the first aid kit were missing as well, and she turned back to the house, following the sounds of Spike moving around the kitchen. She stepped into the small room wearing a shy smile, only to have it fall from her face when she saw Spike's grim look.

He glanced up at her then quickly looked back down at the piece of toast he was spreading a light coating of butter on. "Figured you'd want somethin' to settle your stomach." He held out the plate of toast without meeting her gaze then stuffed his hands into his pockets after she'd taken the plate from him. "Never had a bird react that way to… uh… never mind, it's not important. Um… I'm sorry, Carrie. I promised you no unwanted advances and I couldn't even go a couple of hours without breakin' that promise. I'll completely understand if you want nothin' more to do with me and I'll take you wherever you want to go after you've eaten that."

Carrie set the plate on the counter and took a step toward Spike, only to have him take a step back. She took another step and he did the same, so she continued until he ran out of room and was backed up against the refrigerator. She reached out tentatively and lightly grasped his upper arm. "I'm not mad or upset or anything, Spike. It wasn't you kissing me that made me throw up; it was just that my stomach was already upset and I guess the lemonade just tipped it over the edge. I liked your kiss and it wasn't unwanted. Unexpected maybe, but not unwanted." She dropped her hand and backed up a step, dipping her head slightly. "I really wouldn't mind if you wanted to do it again."

Spike looked over the small blonde woman standing in his kitchen wearing his clothes with a bandage on her temple then he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Carrie, but I took advantage of you once and I won't do it again. You're hurt and confused and have quite enough to deal with at the moment and I won't add to your distress. 'Sides, you probably already have a bloke out there worried sick right now and I didn't consider that before I…"

Carrie lifted her gaze and fixed Spike with an angry glare. "Then where was he? If I have a boyfriend, then where was he when that guy was attacking me? Why was I alone?"

Spike flinched a little at the fire in her eyes and said quietly, "Don't know, pet, but until we suss out who you are…"

Carrie heaved a sigh then nodded sadly. "It would be better if we didn't get involved with each other… aside from being friends, that is. We are friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah, we're friends… as long as you eat your toast." He smiled slightly as he stepped around her and snagged his keys off the hook by the back door. "I'm gonna go get some stuff you can eat that won't upset your stomach any more, crackers, soup, 7up, stuff like that. Anything in particular you fancy?"

She turned to face him and leaned her hip against the counter. "Food-wise, just get whatever you normally eat, but could you please get me a brush and a toothbrush? And I promise I'll pay you back for everything somehow… if I can't get a job, then I'll keep this place clean and do your laundry or something, but I will pay you back."

Spike's smile widened just a bit. "Friends don't need to pay each other back, and I don't want you waitin' on me. For now, let's just work on findin' out who you are then we'll worry 'bout what comes next, yeah?" He motioned toward the plate of toast. "Please eat that, and I'll be back quick as I can." He stopped just before he stepped through the door and asked, "If I leave you here by yourself, you're not gonna clean me out, are you? Make off with my telly? This whole 'memory loss' thing isn't just an elaborate ruse to rob me blind, is it?"

Carrie chuckled and shook her head. "No. All your stuff will be right where you left it. I won't even snoop or anything. I promise."

He nodded. "Right then. See you soon."

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Carrie ate the toast slowly as she sat on the couch waiting for Spike to come back. It stayed down and seemed to help settle her stomach a little bit, so she chanced another glass of lemonade, drinking it in small sips. When that stayed down, she tried the Tylenol again. Her stomach lurched a bit, but everything settled after a few moments and she sat, sipping at the rest of her lemonade.

The kitchen door opened and Carrie smiled as the sound of boots clomping across the tile floor reached the living room. She stood from the couch and turned to face the kitchen as the owner of the boots stepped through the door, but it wasn't Spike.

A tall, dark-haired man came to a startled halt a step past the kitchen door then stood and looked her over before saying quietly, "Uh… hi."

Carrie smiled tentatively. "Hi."

He glanced toward the back of the apartment where the bedroom and bathroom were located then looked out at the patio before settling his eyes back on Carrie. "Who are you?"

"Um… I'm a friend of Spike's. My name's Carrie. Who are you?"

"I'm also a friend of Spike's, along with being his landlord and boss. My name's Xander."

Carrie's eyes widened. "Oh! Is it okay for me to be here? Spike's not going to be in trouble, is he? I'll leave if…"

Xander held up his hand then shook his head. "Uh… no… he can have guests if he wants, it's just… um…"

"Um… what?"

"Well… uh… he never has. As far as I know, he always goes to their place."

"Whose place?"

Xander shrugged. "Whoever he's dating or shagging or whatever he calls it. Man, that guy has girls falling all over him pretty much all the time. I think I get so much business from the college-age girls just because Spike's so pretty."

A voice drifted in from the kitchen. "Pretty? I am NOT pretty, you wanker!"

Xander chuckled as Spike stepped through the kitchen door and punched him on the shoulder. "So why are we always flooded with a bunch of sorority girls needing their… uh… oil changed?"

Spike smirked. "Because of your wife. She's the one who made me take my shirt off then smeared me with grease… which was a soddin' pain in the arse to wash off, by the way… so she could take my picture for the garage's adverts. And she's the one who makes the appointments. Not my fault she schedules me to handle all the young birds who need work done."

Xander nudged Spike. "And yet I've never heard you complain about it once."

Spike glanced at Carrie then smiled a little guiltily. "Well… you know I can't hit the clubs, so how else am I supposed to meet people? Cruise the frozen food section at the market lookin' for bored housewives?"

Carrie was a little bit confused. Xander made it seem like Spike was a player, going out with a different girl every night, but Spike hadn't done anything so far to suggest that he was anything but a gentleman. A very shy, quiet, respectful gentleman with a little bit of a playful side. She laughed quietly. "Well, you could always almost run them over with your car." She lifted a hand and pressed it lightly against the bandage on her temple. "That's how you met me."

Xander yelped, "What? He hit you with that big ass car? Why aren't you in the hospital? Or dead?"

Carrie shook her head. "He didn't hit me and it wasn't his fault. I kind of stumbled out in front of him because…" She trailed off and looked at Spike.

He questioned her with a raised eyebrow and she nodded slightly. Spike turned, fully facing Xander for the first time, and motioned toward the couch. "Have a seat and I'll explain it after I've put the cold food away. Be right back."

Xander grasped his arm before he could leave the living room. "What happened to your face, Spike?"

Spike looked confused. "What?"

"Your jaw. It's bruised."

Spike lifted his hand and prodded gently at his jaw. "Oh, that. Took a punch."

Xander scowled. "You told me, Spike, no, you promised me when I gave you a job and let you move in here that you were done with all that shit."

Spike's eyebrows went up. "I am, Xan."

"Then explain the punch. I'm not gonna sit here and watch you try to kill yourself with the drugs, the fighting, the stealing… I just… I can't do that again, Spike. Going through it once was bad enough."

Spike turned away from Carrie and spoke quietly, probably thinking that she wouldn't hear, but she did. "I'm not, Xander, I swear it." He turned over his arms, showing Xander that there were no new track marks among the faded scars on the insides of his elbows. "I'm not using, and I didn't start the fight. I know I'm an addict and always will be, so I'm not even drinking. You can search the flat if you'd like. I don't have anythin' besides my fags and some Tylenol, not even beer. I know I'll never be able to pay you back for what you've done for me and I promise you… I don't want to die anymore."

Xander would search the apartment if he thought for one second that Spike was using again, but he didn't see anything in Spike's features to suggest he was lying, and Spike was a crap liar, so Xander nodded. "Okay. Go do whatever and then you can tell me what happened today."

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"Wow. So you can't remember your name or where you live or anything?"

Carrie shook her head. "No. And if it wasn't for Spike, well… I don't know what would've happened to me."

Xander chucked a fist lightly against Spike's chin. "That's our wittle Spikey. Such a helpful guy."

Spike scowled playfully at Xander. "Bite me."

Xander laughed. "Nah… you'd like it too much." He focused his gaze on Carrie again. "So what are you gonna do now?"

Carrie shrugged. "Spike said he'd take me around to the shelters and see if anybody knows me, but if not…" she trailed off and dropped her eyes to her lap, "…then I don't know."

Spike looked at Xander. "I said she could stay here, if that's all right with you."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, that's fine. Could probably give you a job or something, too, if you want, until you figure stuff out. Anya could use some help in the office if you're up for filing and making phone calls to track down parts."

Carrie lifted her head, wearing an expression of surprise. "You'd do that? You don't even know me."

Spike chuckled. "He likes takin' in strays, pet. It's his hobby or somethin'. Nearly everybody who works here was down on their luck or in a bit of a bind when he gave 'em a job. He even bought Willow and Oz a house."

Carrie's eyes widened dramatically as Xander waved his hand in embarrassment. "I didn't really buy it FOR them. It's a rental property and they pay rent." He shrugged. "It's a good investment."

Spike snorted. "Yeah, it might be if you charged 'em anything close to what you pay the mortgage company."

Xander scowled. "Bite me, Blondie."

Spike laughed and nudged Xander's arm. "Nah… you'd like it too much. And Anya would be pissed that I was movin' in on her bloke. She's made it quite clear that she's the only one allowed to bite you."

Xander's face flushed scarlet and Carrie hid a smile behind her hand. Spike smirked then raised an eyebrow. "Not that I mind the visit, but what're you doin' here? I didn't miss an appointment, did I? Didn't think I had any 'til tomorrow."

Xander reached into his pocket and fished out a small box. "One of the parts you ordered came in and I was dropping it off."

Spike took the box and tore it open. "Ta. I'll get this in tonight and then I only need one more part and she'll be fixed. Can't wait to take her out."

Xander smiled. "And when you get picked up for speeding and reckless driving, make sure you call my cell and not the house. Anya'd be pissed if you woke her up so I can come bail you out of jail… again."

Spike laughed. "Not gonna get pinched, mate, I promise. I'll obey the laws when I'm inside city limits."

Xander smirked. "And when you're not?"

Spike shrugged. "Nobody in the desert to see me 'cept the wildlife."

Carrie considered Spike as the two men continued to banter back and forth. Apparently he was a lot more complicated than she'd first thought. She was a little nervous about the whole drugs thing, but he'd assured Xander that he was clean, so… She shrugged inwardly. Nothing she could really do about it anyway. The only people she knew were the ones in this room, and considering that she didn't know anything about herself… she could be a hooker or something for all she knew, although with the way she'd been dressed, that was unlikely… she really couldn't afford to be judgmental about their pasts. She'd just have to go on what they'd shown her so far. She dipped her head slightly and looked over at Spike through her bangs… and she really liked what she saw. I really hope I DON'T have a boyfriend.

There was a sudden chirping noise and Xander reached for his pocket, fishing out a cell phone. He looked at the screen and smiled then pushed a button and put the phone up to his ear. "Hey, babe."

"I'm at his place right now. What'd you need?"

"Okay, I'll send him over. Love you. Bye." He pushed another button then tucked the phone into his pocket and looked at Spike. "One of your regulars just showed up at the garage. Said something's wrong with her car and she won't let anyone else look at it. Would you mind checking it out?"

Spike threw a quick glance at Carrie then nodded. "Sure. Which one is it?"

"Anya didn't say."

Spike stood up from the couch. "All right." He looked over at Carrie. "I'll be gone for a bit, pet. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

Carrie frowned as a rush of jealously washed through her. She barely knew Spike and they weren't even together, but she suddenly couldn't stand the thought of another woman fawning all over him… not that the mystery 'regular' necessarily would be… maybe she was an older motherly type who thought of Spike as the son she'd never had… Yeah, right, who was she kidding? Even a cane-wielding old granny would be drooling over Spike. God, just look at the man! Any woman who wasn't a lesbian… and even a few who were… would be drooling over him.

Carrie shook herself. She knew she'd have to analyze these strange and slightly disturbing feelings and thoughts, but… not right now. She looked toward the door. "Could I come with you? I promise to stay out of your way."

Spike motioned toward her clothing. "You want to go to the garage in my boxers?"

Carrie blushed as she looked down at her bare legs. "Oh… right. Um… guess I'll just stay here then."

Xander stood up. "Anya's got some spare clothes in the office that should fit you. I could send her over with them if you want."

Carrie shook her head, pulling her legs up onto the couch to curl them underneath her. "No, that's okay. I don't want to be any trouble and she's probably busy. I'll be fine here."

Xander smiled warmly. "It's no trouble. Really. She won't mind."

Spike suddenly left the room, headed for his bedroom. He came back a handful of seconds later holding a long, leather duster. "You could wear this over to the garage and change in the loo… er… the restroom."

Carrie eyed the coat and then the man holding it and smiled. "Um… okay. Thanks."

Xander's eyebrows tried to crawl into his hairline as he watched Carrie stand up from the couch and slip into the coat that Spike was holding for her. Spike turned to face him as Carrie walked toward the bathroom, muttering something about checking her hair. Xander watched her until she was out of sight then said quietly, "You're letting her wear your duster? You never let anyone wear that thing. Hell, you barely let anyone touch it." Spike shrugged and gave Xander a shy smile and Xander sighed, "Geez, Spike, you barely know her… She barely knows her… and you've got it this bad for her already?"

Spike shrugged again and muttered, "Just somethin' about her, Xan."

Xander sighed again and turned toward the door. "Let's just hope it's not the same something Drusilla had. Like I said, Spike, I can't watch you try to kill yourself again if things don't work out and she leaves you."