Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the soggy cardboard box I live in and a laptop conveniently equipped with wireless internet - all of which are for sale.

A/N: Four things I would like to say: 1. Sorry for taking so long to update. Like I've said before I've been doing a lot of studying and I've been tied up. I've also been working on a HouseWilson friendship oneshot that's getting nowhere. Sorry to those who are actually reading this. 2. Thank you so much for the reviews. Any comments to improve my writing and/or story would be great. 3. Congrats to Hugh Laurie for getting nominated for a Golden Globe. 4. DAMN TRITTER!

I should also probably mention that this takes place after the failed ketamine experiment, but before the Tritter arc, so probably around episodes Informed Consent and Lines in the Sand.

Chap. 3 Diamond in the Rough

Charming man. I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one…

-Arthur Dent; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-

Cuddy: My stack's bigger than your stack. You in or out?

House: You know that relative to their size, gorillas have smaller testicles than humans.

Cuddy: Well, then you'd probably have an edge over a gorilla, but not over me.

-All In-

Mom, Dad and Tommy stood in front of Cuddy's door, snow up to their ankles. Why Lisa would want to live in Jersey was beyond me, thought Tommy. I take that back. She lives here because her hospital is here. God, that woman was a workaholic. Doesn't she get tired of it? I have a hard enough time with medical school.

Tommy snapped out of reverie when the door swung open, revealing his sister. Tommy almost laughed when he saw her surprised expression. But, instead of laughing, his face broke into a grin as wide and noticeable as a billboard.

She wore none of the Dean-of-medicine-I'm-professional-and-sedate-yet-still-a-woman-clothes she was usually clad in. Instead she was wearing cotton pajamas, with her hair pulled back, and she had no make-up on. She looked different then what he was used to.

"Well, are you going to let us in, or do we have to stand in the cold all day?" Mother said, and Tommy watched with amusement as Lisa tried to compose herself and hide her shock.

"Of course, come in. Dad, Mom, Tommy, what are you doing here?" she said, whilst opening the door and standing out of the way as they all filed inside the foyer, the warm air welcoming them.

"Always with the questions. Don't we get a hug?" he heard his mother say, but his attention was drawn to the mussed blanket on the couch and the blue backpack beside it. Tommy was sure the backpack wasn't hers – too unfashionable for her tastes. So whose was it?

His question was answered when he heard his mother say: "Who's this?"

Tommy turned to where Mother was looking and he saw a man standing inside the doorway to what Tommy remembered as the kitchen. He was bedraggled, certainly, and his hair had adopted a look that could only be classified as 'bed head'. But firstly, Tommy noticed the cane, a stylish, probably expensive, wooden cane, which he deducted would only be used by someone with a long-term handicap, which meant that it had nothing to do with the other injuries the mystery man was currently sporting. Tommy noted the laceration across his forehead, the splinted fingers, and the lovely, multicolored bruise on his arm – all of them looking like fresh wounds. But, the most disconcerting fact was that the man's concentrated blue eyes were examining Tommy and his parents, dissecting them. The intensity of his gaze was slightly alarming, and Tommy suddenly felt as if he had been thrown on stage into the spotlight. He wished he would look away.

But, who was he, and what was he doing here?

- - - - - - - - - -

House limped over the threshold into the living room, and his eyes immediately fell upon the three new visitors: an old man taking off his coat, a woman hugging Cuddy, and a younger man staring at the couch, presumably at his backpack.

The old man, with thinning salt-and-pepper hair, was of stocky build with a broad chest and wide shoulders. His eyes were blue. The same blue as Cuddy's, noted House. House imagined he was probably a popular, 'handsome' jock back in high school.

The woman looked to be the same age as the old man, yet her face was assorted with only a few wrinkles. Her hair was short and light brown with gray at the roots. She had the same build as Cuddy, which House couldn't complain, but he wasn't about to go hitting on some old woman. From his distance he couldn't tell what color her eyes were, but he assumed they were either brown or hazel.

The younger man, House figured he was about 25 years old, looked like a male version of Cuddy. He had shaggy, dark wavy hair, blue eyes, and was of average build.

It didn't take Einstein or Holmes to figure out that they were family.

But, what were they doing here?

- - - - - - - - - -

"Who's this?" Cuddy heard her mom say past her ear as she peered over her shoulder. Cuddy released her grip and turned to see House standing in the kitchen doorway.

Cuddy wanted to get a word in before House so she hastily replied with: "A friend." It sounded strange calling House a friend, as she wasn't really sure what they were. But she couldn't say colleague, because she didn't want her parents to think that she was taking in any male doctor that worked with her. She also didn't want them thinking that they were involved. Hence the rushing to speak before House. God only knows what kind of story he would make up just to watch her squirm.

Her family passed her questioning glances, and she decided to start introductions. "Uh, House, these are my parents, Gene and Linda, and my brother, Tommy. Guy's, this is Dr. Greg House."

"The Dr. Gregory House?" Tommy muttered in astonishment. Inwardly, Cuddy groaned. She should have seen this coming. She glanced at Tommy, then at House. Tommy's face was glazed over in shock, while House merely quirked an eyebrow.

"No, his clone," said House sarcastically, speaking for the first time since her family had arrived.

"You're a legend over at Michigan. A brilliant, world-renowned diagnostician," gushed Tommy, unperturbed. House looked smugly over at Cuddy causing her to scowl. This was potential blackmail material. "But what are you doing here?" Tommy asked.

House opened his mouth, probably to come back with some snappy comment or an embarrassing, untrue story, so again, Cuddy rushed to cut him off, trying to take control of the situation again. "He was in a car accident last night," she said, and was going to elaborate, when she realized that she still had no reason why her family was here. She wanted answers first. "But what are you guys doing here?"

"Oh, well," her mother began, "It's almost Christmas and we wanted to surprise you. Besides, when was the last time we spent Christmas together as a family?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It's been years. And, yes, we know you have work, but even Deans of Medicine can get a break for Christmas."

"You could have at least called me," said Cuddy. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's great to see you, but if you would have called in advance I could have rearranged meetings and made more time to see you guys."

"True, but then we wouldn't have been able to surprise you, now could we have?" she said. "Still, we didn't realize we were interrupting something." She emphasized her point by glancing at House. How cliché that pointed stare was.

"What? No! We're not together. I already said he's just a friend," Cuddy looked over at House as if to ask for help explaining, but she should have known she wasn't going to get any.

"You're the one that's keeping me hostage," he said. Again, with the word 'hostage'.

"I'm not keeping you hostage," she said in an exasperated tone, and began futilely to try to explain her actions. "You were in a car accident less the twenty-four hours ago. And you're being an idiot, and you want to go home alone with bruised ribs and a broken hand." And a bum leg.

"No, I want to go to work. I have a dying patient on my hands. Besides, it's not like anything could happen, and even if something did, which it won't, I'd be surrounded by doctors."

Can't argue with that logic, thought Cuddy.

That was when the previously forgotten mother spoke up. "Please, we insist that you stay." Both Cuddy and House turned to her.

"I really should be getting back to the hospital," said House sincerely, obviously trying to squirm his way out of this situation.

"Oh, pish posh." Who says that these days? thought Cuddy. "There are other doctors, I'm sure. It's a hospital, for Heaven's sake," said her mother.

"Yes, but you see, all of the other doctors are idiots and couldn't diagnose a runny a nose. I know a runny nose when I see one, which is why I'm Head of Diagnostics. Which is why I need to be over there to diagnose my patient."

This is going to be interesting. Cuddy knew that both House and her mother were equally stubborn and headstrong. Her mother may look nice and sweet, and for the most part she was, but when she sets her mind to something…

"Well, then call the other doctors in your department and diagnose your patient over the phone. You're a 'brilliant, world-renowned diagnostician'," she said, using Tommy's words against House. "It shouldn't be too hard." And she walked into the kitchen, leaving a stunned House in her wake. End of discussion.