Sorry for lack of updates. But I rewarded you with a chapter over 12,000 words!
Been sick for two months with Strep Throat and I had an allergic reaction the the medication so it has been a rough one. Then between school and 35 hours a week and trying to maintain any sort of social life a 17 year old can get, I've been wicked busy haha.
Must thank the reviewers so much! You guys keep my motivation up and running so thank you. I like those who pointed out many things and the little things I barely even thought of. Thank you. You guys are the reason I write.
"You left this at my house." I placed the book down in front of him as I sat next to him in my science class.
He gazed down at it and gave a nod of realization and a small smile of thanks. "Thanks, I was wondering where I had misplaced that thing." He collected it in his hands and shoved it into his backpack.
The remainder of class whenever the teacher would take a break from lecture or whenever we were finished with our task at hand we found ourselves chatting. Small talk of course. Sometimes it would be about whatever we were learning, and other times it would be about the annoyances in our classroom, namely Jackson and Andrew in the back trying to sneak in words of sarcasm to our teacher. Even though I enjoyed those two's company when I was with them, I did find their classroom antics a bit annoying. Whenever Jonathan made fun of Cody though, I'd bite my tongue and leave it be; never agreeing or disagreeing with him. Cody didn't really start trouble in class, but he wasn't one to stop it.
"Honestly do they even intend on going to a college? Do they know how to even apply to one?" Jonathan scrunched his face at his paper while he did not look at me as he spoke. His comment was a response to the boys beginning to talk about the upcoming party at Cody's which I had full intent to attend. Whether he was aware I was going or not didn't matter.
Lunchtime that day I sat with my usual table. Amy, Sarah, Cody, Jackson, Andrew, Joey, and a few others. As I munched on my sandwich and left over pasta salad, I looked across the cafeteria where, out of pure luck, I caught a glimpse of Jonathan.
He sat at a round table all by himself. He barely seemed interested in what he was eating, as he read his book and scribbled notes on scrap pieces of paper.
I felt bad for the fact he ate alone, but at the same time I knew he liked it that way. No one to get in the way of his studies.
I envied in a way the fact he had the ability to have moments to just sit and think whenever he pleased. At my table it was constant talking and joking. Loudness that never ceased.
"So you're still going Friday?" Amy asked me, with her mouth still half full.
"Of course." I smiled.
"Of course, if she doesn't have a nerd date with Jonathan." Jackson yelled into our conversation.
"I don't go on dates with him, we work on our project together." His comment upset me, but the exact reason to this day I can not fathom.
"To him that's a date. Working on projects, reading books, ohhh!" Jackson began making orgasm sounds loudly to the point other tables started to look over at him.
"Quiet." I told him between my teeth. "Honestly do you have an off button?"
"Oh I have an off button." He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.
"You're disgusting." I told him, but I could not hide the laugh coming from my mouth at the same time.
They were immature.
They were pigs.
And yet the funniest people I knew.
But if they didn't grow up by the time we graduated, I could see myself clipping all my strings attached to them undone.
The bell rang once more, and I gathered my belongings and went to throw away my trash, unlike my other table sitters, who left their trash behind with the notion that 'it's the janitors job to pick it up'.
I left the cafeteria and began my walk down the long hallway that lead to the other side of the building. The cafeteria was its own section in our school, so making the trek to anywhere with a classroom took a good minute or two.
As I was walking I felt someone walking the same pace as me, just to my left.
I glanced to see if it was someone I knew and I was met with the glass covered blue eyes.
Jonathan was staring at me, and only that.
He didn't say anything or acknowledge that I was looking at him. His pace was just a little faster than mine and he began to get in front of me, his eyes not leaving me until his head could not crane that far to see me over his shoulder.
That moment it felt like everything went silent, and all I could hear was my own footsteps echoing in my body. I had a slight chill running up my spine. The moment scared me slightly. I didn't know what had really just happened.
His gaze had been blank, stoic. No emotion. No happiness. No anger.
Just two blue eyes looking into my two green ones with absolutely no point what so ever.
It was at that point I began to question if that event had really just happened. It seemed unlikely. I had to push it to the back of my mind.
I should have taken that as the first sign Jonathan Crane was not as normal as I believed he was.
That night Jonathan was coming over to work on the project. I decided against asking him about the small incident in the hallway. I mean it wasn't that big of a deal? He had just stared at me was all. Well that's what I was trying to convince myself.
My mother was running late, so dinner was not even close to done when Jonathan had arrived. Moments before she told me she'd fix a plate for him too. It was a nightmare in my mind. Jonathan Crane, eating dinner with my family? I hoped to any Gods out there that he'd already eaten, decline a plate, and say he wants to work on the project in my room while I ate. But I knew even if he said that, my mother was the type to go upstairs and drag him down for dinner.
"Hey." I said to him opening the door.
When we got upstairs, I sat on my bed while he started up the computer.
"My mom is running late with dinner, and she says she's going to make you a plate. Would you like to join us for dinner?" I asked, fingers secretly crossed behind my back.
It wasn't that I didn't want him to be around. I had no problem with him eating with me. It was just his interaction with my family scared me. I doubted they'd be as open minded as me.
And the fact I still couldn't figure out if I could define Jonathan as my friend didn't help in any matters. I liked Jonathan's ideas and his mind. Did I like him as a person? Sometimes. Did I like him more than my friends maturity wise? I guess. Jonathan seemed to hold himself higher than others and acted older than he really was.
Even if I considered him a friend though, I couldn't see after this project was over if he'd be willing or be the type to hold a friendship down, as he never had experienced friendship. Would we ever talk on the phone late at night like I did with many of my friends? Highly doubtful he would be too busy studying. Would we ever hang out and go places? High doubtful.
So I concluded that after the project ended, I would try to be his friend perhaps? I'd put my effort in, during class when I'd talk to him. Whatever he chose to do with my kindness and effort to be his friend, he may. I wasn't going to be upset if he didn't want to be. The only thing I'd honestly miss about him at this point was our talks about emotions and the mind. He was unique in this aspect and I doubt I'd find anyone with the same interest as me or conflicting views.
"Uh...sure I don't mind eating." He suddenly said breaking me from my thoughts. I think I must have had a weird face displayed or something by the look he was giving me.
I had to recover from this moment turning even more awkward. "Good, my mother makes the best meals. Have you already ate tonight though, I mean if you aren't hunger she'll understand."
"No no, my grandmother normally makes meals for herself and I just snack on something throughout the day. I don't normally eat meals." He said.
To me it sounded like his grandmother was horrible. I couldn't imagine what he had been through.
I knew he didn't want my pity, which is why I held in the 'I'm sorry' 's and the pity speeches, which I always had to say to my other friends when they had simple problems like they had gotten a D on their quiz or their mother grounded them.
My friends would always try to stop me from comforting them, but it was all in illusion. I knew how people worked, they really wanted my comfort, but didn't want to sound needy. Jonathan on the other hand, when he said he didn't need my pity I honestly believed it.
"Well I hope you like this one." I smiled at him, trying to cut the subject short.
He simply nodded and opened our project document. "Now where did we leave off?" He asked himself.
I scooted over to the chair beside him and he began to type. Halfway through his essay, surprisingly he handed me the keyboard.
"Here, add your opinion to this paragraph. We need more than one view for this part or it will sound bias, since it has to do with gender roles and lateralization. If I write simply from a guy's perceptive on gender roles it will sound sexist. But try to be honest on the female brain and how it differs. If you try to claim females are the same guy wise on the emotional level, I will take away your writing privileges." I swore I heard him snicker slightly.
With that I began to type about how females were better at verbal and English skills, in contrast to males being better at visual-spatial and math skills. Then I dove into emotion wise, females talked about feelings more and were more emotional due to their brain. I was just about done when my mother yelling from downstairs that it was time to eat, interrupted.
He looked at me, as if seeking the permission to stand up.
"Come on let's go downstairs." I told him, pushing my chair in.
We walked into my dining room, where my mother was stirring for the last couple times something in a pot. My brother and father were already seated. Father was reading the newspaper and Tyler was busy spacing out, but turned in my direction to get and up close and personal look at the figure following behind me. I sat in my normal seat, which had a newly added plate next to me. Jonathan would have to sit between me and Tyler. Perfect. Tyler would scare him off and he'd never return.
This night couldn't get any better. I thought to myself.
I ushered Jonathan to sit next to me, and he awkwardly took his spot.
"Hello Jonathan." My mother said to him in her overly cheery voice as she brought over the stir fry mix she had made. She began to scoop it on everyone's plats evenly and then placed a plate of rolls and a plate of rice on the table for anyone to help themselves too.
"Hello." He said. Keeping his manners high he even smiled at her, slightly.
Everyone began to help themselves to the assortment of food, and ate away at my mother's delicious cooking.
"So are you in Alexis's grade?" My mother asked him, the small talk beginning.
"Yes I am." He responded.
"Looking into any colleges?" She smiled.
"A few, I can't decide yet. Harvard or Yale sounds good, but I have to compare their courses."
"What major are you looking into?"
"Psychology, the medical field, criminal field. It be preferred if their was a combination of all three." He said, grabbing another roll.
Two things amazed me at this point.
One, he was actually eating and seemed to be enjoying the meal.
Two, my mother had known and talked to him for a mere two minutes and knew more about him than I did in years.
I figured the fact Jonathan had to act proper and polite around his grandmother at home, as he had mentioned she was strict and what not, was carrying over now here with another adult. He was acting nice to her out of routine respect he had to forcibly give to his grandmother.
"That sounds fascinating. Alexis is looking into schools that offer great dance studios. Isn't that right?" She looked towards me.
"Yeah I guess." I said, not very interested.
"So how's your project going?" My father suddenly asked, putting down his newspaper.
"Good." I said. "Our essay will be done tonight I think and then we just have the artsy stuff to do."
My father had intended that question for Jonathan, but I didn't want him to have to stare into my father eye's of mistrust. He still was convinced we were doing more than, a 'project'.
"Do any sports Jon?" My dad asked, now using Jonathan's name to make sure that I could not barge in and answer the question for him.
"No, I don't. I wasn't ever good at any." He said, I could see his eyes were annoyed at my father. I figured along with the fact my father's tone was not exactly super nice, he had called him "Jon", something I do not even call him. It seems too informal. Too much of a name I would call him if we were close friends. But yet, he did call me Lex, which would be the same exact situation but turned on me.
I'd have to ask him what he preferred to be called upstairs.
"Nonsense, everyone is good at some sort of sport." My father kept going on. "When I was younger, I ran track and field, cross country, and did baseball. Why with your form, I bet you'd be a good runner. Tried to get my boy Tyler here into running, but he's more of a baseball and soccer kid. But you, definitely look into running, I bet you could sprint real fast."
"I used to run a lot when I was younger." He said, but only I knew that the reason he used to run a lot was to get away from the bullies. I did remember at that point that he did outrun people a lot of the time. "But I guess my studies prevent me from sports."
"Studies? How often do you study everyday?"
"About five hours. Sometimes three if I'm busy." He said, acting as if that was normal for a person to do.
Tyler's jaw dropped. " I study about...two minutes a day."
"Well dear, you should study more than that." My mother told, him and they began to get into a small bicker about studying and social life time and all that. My father, Jonathan, and I remained in our conversation meanwhile.
"That much? Wow. You're grades must be pretty high." He said, clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth.
"I'm first in our class, all years of high school so far." He said, the cocky tone I was so used to, finally came out. He couldn't resist bragging about himself, even for how polite he was for the time being. His shell that he put up of the fake Jonathan Crane was slipping.
"So you're one of the few beating Alexis. I think, she's what-...what are you honey?" My father looked to me for the answer.
"I'm second in our class dad..." I sounded slightly embarrassed.
"So you're the only one a head of her." He restated.
"I guess I am." His cocky toned down a little, but the sense of pride was like an aura around him. I had the sudden urge the elbow him in the stomach while he placed his rice filled fork into his mouth so it would send little rice rockets all across the table. But I held my urge in.
He scooped up the remaining food on his plate and put his silverware on it to signal he was done.
"Well you better watch out, next year I might be number one." I told him, smirking. I felt satisfaction thinking if my statement got to him that he'd be a worrying wreck all next year.
"Highly unlikely." He smirked back, obviously I didn't phase him.
My elbow actually twitched towards his rib cage at this point.
"Did you like the food?" My mother asked, standing up and gathering the empty plates.
"Yes It was very good, never had food like this." He said nodding his head.
"Really?" She asked him, slightly smiling.
"Yes, thank you very much."
"Mom do you need help?" I asked her.
"No, no go work on your project you two." She used her hand to usher us to leave. Tyler started for the door. "But not you, young man. You have to help me, and then we have to talk about the call from the school I got about something you did to the lunch lady?"
With that Jonathan and I returned to my room and took our usual spots. He started to type and remained in eerie silence for a little. I broke it.
"I just wanna say thanks, for acting um...proper? In front of my parents I mean to say." I told him awkwardly.
"I've had practice at home on how to act around adult figures." Was all he said.
Like I had figured, his grandmother.
"Why don't you act like that to teacher's though?" I asked, putting slight laughter into my tone so he wouldn't get offended.
"Because our teachers are all idiots who don't know what they are talking about and entered a skill which they are not suited. You're parents are in fields which they are suited. You're mother as you said before owns a flower shop. She is bubbly and happy, so she is suited for her field of work and does not claim to know things that she really doesn't. Your father is a cop, which would explain his mistrust in me and others and his constant questioning which have more than one meaning to them. I took the time to make mental note of these things with my little interaction with them. They are fit for their jobs."
"Wow, I didn't think of it that way. I guess you're right though. Their personalities fit their jobs. Yanno sometimes you amaze me with how smart you are."
And that's where my face turned BRIGHT red, as I had not meant to say the last sentence. It was a mental thought or just something I said without thinking.
What I said would add to his pride and cocky side and make me seem less smart like he still had a slight convinced perspective that I was. The fact I was second in class and he was first also was a fitting example to show how he was smarter than I was.
"You'll learn one day how to read people as I do." He said, which surprised me. "It just takes practice."
He typed more, and I decided since the essay just needed fine tuning now, I'd let him edit it for now and I'd work on the poster. I sat on my bed and began sketching out on scarp paper how I wanted it to look.
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Well you just did, but if you mean can you ask me another thing followed by that, then sure." He said, not taking his eye off the screen.
"Do you prefer Jonathan or Jon? Because you seemed annoyed when my father addressed you by Jon." I didn't want to look up from my own paper at this point. I was unsure if he'd grow angered by this question.
"I prefer Jonathan from strangers and people who I wish to show me the utter most respect. So him addressing me like that when I barely know him I found to be rude. Let me turn this around on you, what do you prefer to be called?"
"Um...well. I don't care. I've been called many things. Alexis, Ally, Lex, Lexie. So I don't mind anything I guess." I said, conflustered.
"You know, you say "I guess" a lot. You should stop guessing all the time and be confident in what you say, Lex." His words flowed out of his mouth lightly and I could see out of the corners of my eyes, that he was looking at me for just a moment.
He said it again.
Lex.
I don't know why, but the tone he always said that in was just different than I had been called with it before. As if, by him saying it, was confirming to me that Lex, Alexis whatever I was, was actually who I was. That my lack of confidence was met because I knew who I was. It was hard to explain and even as I explain now I can not fully say why when he says Lex it is so different and better than anyone else who calls me it.
"Then, I like it when you call me Lex." I said, trying to show off that I am confident in what I say and don't use "I guess" all the time. But my word choice was very, in a lack of a better sense, icky.
I looked up, trying to recover from what I just said, but was at a loss for words. He looked at me, slightly baffled and slightly amused.
"What else do you like that I do, Lex?" He asked, trying to humor me, for he too realized how my words choice could be taken in many different aspects.
"Okay, okay. I get it. Bad wording on my part. Don't have to make a mockery of it." I rolled my eyes and smiled.
He was getting more comfortable with me as now he was cracking jokes, not obvious punch line jokes, but ones that I could pick up on.
"No. You're making me forget why I even brought this whole topic up!" I acted frustrated jokingly. "Oh! No what I mean to say is do you want me to call you Jonathan or Jon? That's all I wanted to know, not what I like that you do."
"Well in your case, I guess Jon will do." He turned back to the screen.
I quickly pointed at him and threw a pillow, with my mouth open in amused shock.
It hit him on the side of his head, and landing beside him. He jumped up in shock.
"Hey! What was that for?" He grew angry, until he saw I was pointing at him half smiling, half shocked. "Why are you staring at me like that, with that idiotic look?"
"You just said 'I guess'!" I told him.
He looked confused for half a second, then the realization came over him.
It made me realize that Jonathan Crane was not perfect, no matter how high or how much he appeared himself to be. It also confirmed that he was indeed human. He had feelings, and he had flaws. It felt great.
"Well, there goes my example of my confident answers to you. Ignore my previous sentence, I didn't mean it though in the mannerism that I was not confident, I just meant it as if I don't care. I guess you can call me whatever you prefer." He tried to recover, obviously frustrated that whatever he said would not wipe the smile of growing self pride off my face.
"Jonathan Crane is human after all." I spoke, still smiling. "No matter how much you try, you have to understand you have flaws."
"Of course I know that. I am not some alien life form. Everyone has flaws. I just don't show mine often, and that isn't even a good example of a flaw, Lex." He gained his composure.
"But you always try to hold yourself to other that you're better than everyone else and are perfect." I decided at this point if he grew angry, I didn't care. He had to be able to handle this type of conversation with me at this point.
"I am better than almost everyone I have ever come in contact with. I hold myself in high regard because I know I better than everyone. There are few people greater than me and those who are are dead. Past scientists and researchers. But no one I have met in my life is better than I am. Why hide my confidence in that?" He had turned his chair towards me, I could hear the printer in the background printing out our essay that he had finished.
"Because in social society, you will never get a job, or be able to have friendships if you do that. People won't hire you if you think you are better than your boss. People won't want to stick around you if you make them feel like they are nothing."
"Well, it is like you just saw in front of your parents. I can put up a good acting job around people I need too." He tossed the pillow back at me and I caught it, putting it back in its rightful place.
"Why around them though?" I asked.
"Because if I acted like I do around you and other people, they would not allow me back in your household, which would be negative for our project and our grade. It would be impossible to complete out project at this point if I was not allowed back in. I picked up on your father's attitude and aspect of people and acted the part so he wouldn't hate me. He doesn't have to like me, as I don't certainly care for him or anyone else, but if I was rude he'd be able to jump on the opportunity to throw me out the front door. Get it?"
"I do..." I also understood why he hated people. Being bullied all those years really messed with his head. "But honestly do you think your better than me Jon?"
"Honestly?" He asked, slightly taken back I called him Jon.
"Yes honestly."
"I'm not going to lie to you, I do think I am better than you are and what you will ever be. I'm not going to sit here and feed you information that would make you feel good about yourself or what you want to hear. But look at your life style and look at mine. Truth, Lex, you are very smart, but you aren't as dedicated to the field of study as I am."
It stung. I tried not to show it, but it stung pretty deep. I figured he would say that he was better than me, but better than I could ever be? He didn't know what I would become in life, neither did I at that point.
"Oh, did I hurt your feelings?" He said, not seeming like he cared at all. My face I thought was being very blank, but he could read my eyes.
Eyes always gave people away. No matter what.
"No you didn't. You gave me motivation." I told him, trying to smile to the best of my ability.
"Motivation?" He raised an eyebrow.
"To become better than you will ever be." I smiled.
"We'll see one day then, won't we?" He smirked at me.
"It's a date." I told him, raising my eyebrows and smiling even more, trying to make him feel up to the challenge I was placing on him.
"Heh, a challenge, that you won't even cross the starting line of."
"Well you count your chickens before they hatch."
"Enough metaphors Lex, it would take years of catching up to where I am today for you to be at the same place as me, and by the time you reach that point, I will already be ten steps ahead of you. You will need to catch up and then its a huge cycle with no end."
"We'll see one day won't we?" I told him.
"We'll see one day." He repeated.
We spent the next hour working on the poster. I gave him the blueprints and he printed words, pictures, and various things that I would find the proper placement of on the poster board. I decorated it with 3D effects and yes even glitter, which made him chuckle.
Once he printed everything, he brought the remainder things over and sat on the opposite side of my bed as me, looking down at the poster and though he could see it upside down, he said I did a decent job of making it look nice.
Nothing of course was ever perfect to him.
It would be slightly awkward if my father came in to check on us and he was sitting on my bed. Though there was a big distance between us, fatherly eyes would make it appear like we were furiously hiding something and had been on top of each other just moment before he walked into the room.
Oh well. Let him think what he may.
"So tomorrow..." I said, gluing a piece of paper with typed information on it down, "I can't work on the project."
"Why not? We probably only have two more times to meet to finish it. One more if we are fast."
"I have to go to a friend's house."
"Can't it wait for another day. If we work days in a row our information and ideas remain fresh. A day in between for a break would cause us to lose ideas." He seemed angry on the inside, but was trying to keep calm to convince me in a nice manner.
"Well it can't...it's a party so it's set on that date."
"Oh please don't tell me you are going to that party that has been talked about all around school. Cody's isn't it? Oh don't look at me like that. I may remain silent in school half the time, but people talk loud and I can hear everything that goes on. Even stuff I don't like or care about. It's that party isn't it?"
I shut my shocked mouth and absentmindedly scratched the side of my face. "Yeah it is that party."
"Lex, there is no point to those. All it's going to be is a house full of people getting drunk, doing drugs, and dancing around like mindless fools. You are better than that and shouldn't waste your time with that." He leaned back on the wall, while he sat on my bed.
"Why do you care?" I suddenly asked, as his statements contradict everyone he told me earlier.
"I don't care, if you go I'm not going to stop you or tell your parents or anything that a person who really would care would do. I just believe that you have potential to do good things with that mind of yours, nothing compared to what I will do of course, but never the less. You surround yourself with people you don't care about and are going to do stupid things with them, that waste away your brain cells."
"That sounds like you care about my brain and my mind by what you just said. So what I'm going? I'm not going to drink or anything."
"Honestly the only thing I care about is not doing the project." He said, growing irritated. "So what's the point in going then?"
"I-...Why again I ask, do you care?"
"I don't. I clearly stated this twice. I don't care. I just care because you are ditching our project to waste your time. You're only going because you are fascinated with that blonde one aren't you? Cody?"
"No I'm not." I yelled defensively. My girlish side was taking over.
"It's clearly obvious. I sit next to you in science don't you recall? I see how you interact with him. You're not good at hiding your fascination with him."
"Well I'll just get better at it then." I said. "I-...ahhh. Blehfd." I began to speak incoherently as I just openly admitted to him I liked Cody.
He stared at me with that stupid cocky grin of his that made my violent thoughts race through my head.
"Okay, wipe that grin off your face, yes I do like him. But don't tell anyone."
"Who would I tell? Let me just go tell my best friend so she'll blab it to everyone. It will be all the talk of the school." He put a slight girl tone to his voice, and then seemed to not care about our topic anymore.
"Well I don't know who else you talk to besides me." I stated.
"Close to zero people outside my family."
"Okay, I'm just defensive is all."
"Well you shouldn't be. It's quite obvious he likes you too, Lex."
"Really?" Then I shut my mouth, I was getting too excited with my tone and this was starting to just get weird. I wanted to abort all communication right now.
Where was the off button on Jonathan Crane?
"Look, I don't really want to get into this anymore I just need to go to this. It's only one day. We can work on it on Saturday. You can even come over at like one o'clock! It will be fine."
"Fine." He said.
"I printed the essay. Two copies. I'm taking one home and leaving one here. We shall both pen edit it and combine our edits and ideas Saturday then." He finally agreed with us not working on it tomorrow, but didn't seemed too thrilled with it all.
Oh well, I thought to myself.
It was only one night I was going to be out and about.
After he left I laid in my bed, and rested my head on my pillow. I noticed it smelled a bit odd. Not in a bad way, but in a way that it normally doesn't. It smelled like some sort of body spray or shampoo. I realized then I was laying on the pillow I had thrown at Jonathan's head and I was smelling whatever product he put in his hair.
It made me realize, he indeed did shower, as not washed hair would not smell like this.
It wasn't an unpleasant smell, so I felt no need to flip over my pillow to rid my nostrils of it.
It was pretty odd though. Falling asleep to the smell of Jonathan Crane, was not something I had expected to happen in my life.
The next day, science class was a very less eventful day. Jonathan didn't really talk to me, except when we had a break and he pulled out our essay and began to edit it. I could tell it still angered him that we weren't working on the project, but he'd have to get over it as I was not changing my mind at all.
That night I told my mother I was sleeping over Amy's house, and packed my belongings in my tote bag. I began my trek through Gotham City, to Cody's apartment complex. It was about a mile walk, but it didn't bother me.
It was still daylight out, and the five o'clock traffic was lining the streets full of adults who were anxious to get home. The constant honking and bickering of drivers was enough to give anyone not accustom to city life a splitting headache, but it didn't phase me anymore. Only a few people I passed on my walk gave me the creeps, but there I was a high school teenager walking around alone in Gotham, so I was an easy target. But the amount of people walking around made me felt safe.
And when someone says they feel safe in Gotham, it's more like a orange on the terrorist color list. It means there is a threat that is very high that you could be killed, but no one is pointing a gun at you, so you're good.
My feet got a little tired when I was almost halfway there so I stopped and sat on a little ledge on the side of a building. I people watched and saw how everyone's face was between anger and depressed.
No one was ever happy here. Their was only one happy couple I saw that were in their late eighties, and they were probably happy, because they had lived their lives and were almost done with the terrible city we lived in.
I got back up and made the rest of my trek, feeling a little better, but the sun was beginning to set. Luckily I got to Cody's house before it was dark.
I made my way up the stairwell to the fifth floor and down the hallway to his room number. I could already hear music playing once I got within a few doorways of his room.
I knocked on the door a couple times before Jackson answered, a red cup in his hands and his eyes dilated to the fullest extent.
"Already Jackson?" I asked him.
"Lexi!" He said with too much enthusiasm. He hugged me, a bit too tightly picking me up off the ground causing me to drop my bag.
"Pu- Put- Down." I tried to choke out, barely able to breath.
He let me go and ushered me inside, where I got a good look at the room.
It was pretty crowded for the amount of room. The living room and kitchen were flooded with people, many dancing and holding cups or standing around talking. The television was also on playing a sports game, but it could not be heard well unless you were sitting in front of it because of the music playing. The floor was already trashed with discarded cups, ash, and odd assortments. A few people were already falling onto the floor drunkenly and a game of beer pong was going on in the kitchen.
Everyone seemed to be having a good time, but finding my friends in the crowd was proving to be difficult. I wanted to find Amy and Sarah. Cody would be another story.
I finally made my way through the crowd to the kitchen where I found the two. Amy was eating a bowl of cereal and Sarah was a participant in the beer pong.
I knew Sarah would be the one who would not be the drunk one at the party. She'd be a little buzzed but she had work in the morning and was smart when it came to that sort of thing. Amy was the opposite, already looking a bit drunk, when I realized it wasn't milk in her cereal but some sort of vodka. I mentally threw up.
I took the bowl from her. She protested a bit, but gave in when I handed her an apple I found on the counter. I dumped the contents of the bowl down the sink and turned to Sarah who finished her game.
"What's up?" I asked her, leaning on the counter.
Sarah sat up on it next to me. "Well Amy is already gone."
"I know I took away her cereal, which had some sort of drink in it."
"That's sort of gross." Sarah laughed. "So just warning you, if you need to go to the bathroom, the one that's in the hallway has couples having sex in there, so knock first and if no one answers...knock again. I found out the hard way and will never look at Joey the same way again."
"Oh god," I scrunched up my nose in disgust.
"Yeah. Cody said he was going to lock his parents room because of it but it was too late people are in there too, so he got fed up and locked his own room. So basically that's the safe house of the house haha."
"Where is Cody by the way?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager.
"He's around somewhere. I think he's with Andrew. Jackson has been coming up to me and Amy on and off so next time he shows up, I'll let you know." Sarah, picked up an apple herself from the counter top and ate it on and off as we spoke.
"It's pretty crazy here for only six thirty." I stated.
"Yeah. I got here two hours ago. What took you?" She asked.
"Dance practice. So dancing here might cause me to die of exhaustion." I chuckled. "I actually felt my feet get tired on the walk over here."
"Hey I can give you a ride home tomorrow if you want. I'm just leaving here around ten or eleven in the morning, is that okay?"
"Yeah that's fine, but I just don't know how you are going to get to sleep here by the amount of noise."
"Well when the overly horny sex crazed teenagers get out of the parents room, I'm going in there and locking the door behind me." She smiled.
"And if they don't get out in a reasonable amount of time, I'll kick them out for you." I told her nudging her side.
"You wouldn't want to. You'll see sights that will make your eyes bleed."
Just then Jackson walked over to us, putting an arm around me and attempting to put an arm around Sarah, but due to her height from sitting on the counter top he found it difficult and settled for putting a hand on her knee.
"Hey ladies, how are you on this fine evening?"
"Very good Jackson. How are you?" Sarah said. I could tell by the tone of her voice she had, had this conversation with Jackson multiple times earlier.
"I'm as happy as a clam." He said.
"What?" I turned to him and just as I did Cody walked over to us, followed by Andrew.
I could not hide the smile that came across my face as I saw his dirty blonde hair and smirk come into my vision.
"Lexi! You made it." Cody smiled, throwing his empty cup in the nearby trash. Cody was a little drunk, but not as much as the people around him. He could hold himself well, and his speech was fine. I wasn't particularly found of people who are drunk, so I was happy to see he was at least more than halfway normal.
"Not dancing?" Andrew asked.
"I just had dance practice. Enough dancing for me." I said.
"Too tired to." Sarah said.
"It's getting pretty crazy here." Cody said. "Come on, we can watch how idiotic people look."
"Sure." I chuckled. Cody lead us over to the threshold of the kitchen. I leaned on the wall, and he stood by me and we watched the people dancing and chatting.
I looked back for Sarah, but was surprised to see her and Andrew standing between her legs and cupping her face in his hands. They began to kiss and that's when I turned away.
Good for her. I thought to myself. If there was one fake friend of mine I had to say I was fine with it would be Sarah. I felt like on the inside she was just like me in the aspect of only remaining friends with people to fit in. Maybe one day her and I could talk about it. We could find ourselves to have more in common than we thought.
I turned back to people watch with Cody. The boys by the television stood up and cheered. Touch down.
"What's wrong Lex?" Cody asked suddenly and I turned my head towards him as I folded my arms across my chest.
"Nothing just-..."
"Bored?" He finished for me.
"A little. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry I'm a little bored too. You know it wasn't even my idea to have the party. All I said to-"
"I'm sorry I can't hear you." I interrupted, unable to hear over the massive noise and music.
"I said I-...Oh never mind follow me." He held started to walk back into the kitchen and reached back for my hand to help lead me through the crowds of people in our way. I held on to his warm hand, gripping it tightly whenever I had to cut through the drunk crowds.
He lead us down the hallway and he took out a key unlocking his room. He lead me inside and locked it behind him. The music and talking was droned out by the walls, though it was still there. A nuisance in the background.
I felt a slight twinge of happiness to be in his room with him by ourselves.
He sat down in his computer chair and I leaned against a wall near the door.
"Sorry I was getting a headache." He said. "What I was trying to say is it wasn't my idea to have the party. Jackson and Andrew heard my parents would be out for the weekend and then started telling people to come over. So once I found out half the school was going I guess I just gave in and let them have their way with my household."
"Sorry, they have to be such tools sometimes." I said rolling my eyes.
"Heh, that they are. Whatever, It was getting boring out there. We can stay in here and just chill. Get rid of my stupid headache."
A few knocks were heard on the door, but ended.
"Don't worry that happens frequently. When I was in here before, someone knocked and came in thinking it was the bathroom. I just now lock and ignore." He smiled.
"I hope the police don't crash the party. You'll get in a lot of trouble. And it's not even worth it if this wasn't your idea."
"Yeah the only positive side to this is I get to hang out with you, Lex." He chuckled.
Instant red face. He knew just what to say to make me get butterflies in my stomach.
"That's hardly anything out of the ordinary." I stated, knowing we have hung out with our large group of friends before.
"Yeah, but I get to just chill with you. No one else talking all the time barely giving me time to think or relax." He rubbed his head.
"Yeah our group is a rather loud one. Well half our group right now isn't being loud though right now. Did you see Andrew and Sarah when we came in here?" I smirked.
"They'd be a good couple. He really likes her. But-...if they don't remember anything in the morning or something, don't tell Sarah I told you that." He quickly added.
"I won't, I won't. I don't spread stuff."
"I know, you're not like other girls who all they do is gossip." He stood up and pushed his chair in, resting his hands on it.
"Well I just don't see the point in it, yanno?"
"Yeah. And that's what I like about you. You're not like other girls, with all their drama and bickering and gossip. You just go with the flow of things." I think the small amount of alcohol in his system was giving him the confidence to speak to me like this. His liquid confidence.
He let go of the chair and stood a bit in front of me, not particularly close, but not particularly far either.
"Thank you." Was all I could think to say, a bit baffled.
"Well, you are welcome." He smiled, stepping a bit closer to me.
At that moment, I found his breath hitting my face slightly and my eyes darting back and forth between his lips and his eyes. Somehow he had gotten so close to me, his chest was pressing into mine. I must have blacked out for a moment, my nerves growing with each passing second.
The distance between our mouths closed and I felt his hands go to my waist to pull me in close to our moment.
It was also in that moment all the hype about a first kiss went into instant disappointment. First of all his lips were very dry and chap, but then suddenly went to very moist and wet when he began to shove his tongue suddenly into my mouth, not even allowing a second for me to attempt to enjoy the overly dry and itchy like kiss.
I didn't know what to do. It was a bit awkward. For a first kiss, I was not happy and wanted out, but our little make out session continued for what felt like hours. I hoped he was kissing that bad due to his slight intoxication. His hands began to wander on my body, feeling up my upper self, which was slightly uncomfortable and non pleasuring. Even though it was above my shirt, he squeezed at me a few times and it was a little too rough for my comfort.
If we had been in the heat of an intense moment, then hell I was all for it, but this was just one of the worst 'romantic' moments ever.
When he pulled away and I finally got a breath of fresh non liquor tasting air, I slyly moved to my left to avoid another round.
"I'm getting a bit tired." I said, acting exhausted and happy. It must have been the greatest acting job ever, because he bought it.
"Well we can lay on my bed, unless of course you want to sleep out there on the floor like all the unlucky ones." He said, slightly out of breath.
"No no of course I'll lay in your bed with you." Just as long as he didn't try to have a goodnight kiss or something.
I began to wish I never went to the party. My perception of Cody certainly changed a bit, as obviously he was a bit more drunk that I lived him up to be and everything about the night was awkward.
I laid underneath the covers and Cody laid next to me, but I turned my back to him. His hands rubbed my legs a few times, staying extra close to the top of my jeans, acting as if he was going to try to explore a 'new' part of my body.
"Too tired." I mumbled, acting tired again.
"Okay okay." He whispered.
He wrapped his hand around my waist, trying to keep me close to him, and within minutes he had fallen asleep.
I took this moment to go over to the armchair across the room and lay in that to the best of my ability. I didn't trust him in his mindset at the moment. If were to wake up I could find myself waking up to something that would be just plain awkward and possibly considered a count of molestation.
Whatever.
I avoided it and went to sleep uncomfortably.
That night I dreamed about Jonathan for some odd reason. It was a short dream, but it involved him stabbing me with a broken bottle. It was odd I know. There was no point to it at all. No hidden meaning that I could find. All he did was stab me with a bottle in the stomach and I didn't feel any pain, but the lack of blood caused me to fall to the ground. I was trying to apply pressure to the cut to stop it, when I woke up to Sarah nudging me.
I woke up and saw Cody was in his bed, some other female laying next to him. Next to the bed strewn across the floor were articles of clothing and beer cans. A few other people were on the floor laying down.
Yes, my perception of Cody had changed completely at this point. Since, I was not one to deliver to him, he had woken up and found someone else. Whether he'd remember anything when he woke up was beyond me.
I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach or something, but I didn't let it show as Sarah helped me up and I felt instant pain in my shoulders from the awkward position I had to lay in.
I didn't like Cody anymore. That was for sure. In fact, at that moment I felt disgust towards males.
All they wanted was sexual pleasure.
Sarah drove me home, and I walked up my stairwell and went back to bed for a few hours, with a heating pad underneath my shoulders.
My mother woke me up at noon with a plate of salad and bread for my lunch.
"Not feeling well?" She asked.
"No I'm fine, I just am sore." In fact, I felt like I was at my absolute low of my teenage hood. The boy I held in such high standards was just like everyone else.
She left me alone, her motherly instinct knowing I was upset somehow. I ate my lunch and decided I'd have to get a good hour of practice for dance in, since it was my daily routine. Our studio didn't have practice Saturdays, which left us to have to at home if we chose.
Jonathan was suppose to be over in the next hour or so, so I figured I'd squeeze it in and it would also help me get my mind off everything.
I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top and got to work. I stretched out my body, finding arm stretches increasingly difficult due to my pain.
I turned on my boom box and played our routine music. I'd practice without my ballet shoes on, which would be fine for now, I'd just have to improvise a bit.
I spent an hour putting my heart and soul into my dancing, only messing up a few times on the high jumps with my legs. I ended up falling even, as I didn't have enough height to my jump and my leg got caught in the air. The pain was momentarily there, but I got right back up and began again.
I was just into my legwork, when I turned and jumped in the air. I landed to see the face of Jonathan in my doorway. I didn't hear him enter from my music playing and my mother obviously let him in without telling me.
I grew a bit embarrassed at that point. I didn't show off my dance skills to anyone outside of the family and my fellow dancers. None of my friends would come to my shows as I never invited them to it. Dance was sort of my private release of my emotions and something special to me.
Jonathan Crane, just saw me in my private moment. I felt the redness and heat in my face. I even sat down where I stood and stared at him in disbelief that he was there.
"Sorry...Your mother let me in and I knocked- and." He realized I was embarrassed.
"It's fine, I just...Sorry I must have looked very odd." I knew my facial expressions when I danced were very into it, sometimes I'd even find myself crying when I finished a routine. That's how into a dance I could get. I slightly thanked God it wasn't one of those dances.
"No, you didn't look odd. You actually are quite good at dancing." He said, shutting the door behind him and stepping further in the room towards me. He felt awkward, but I could tell he was trying to make me feel less embarrassed. "You live up to all the trophies you have." He added.
"Thanks." I smiled, standing up and putting a sweatshirt on, feeling a bit too exposed to him at this point and a bit chilled by the hallway air coming into the room for the brief moment my door was open. "How long were you standing there though?"
"Two seconds." He said.
I glared at him.
"About a minute." He said again.
"Why didn't you yell to me or stop me?" I asked, sitting on my bed.
"I didn't want to interrupt. You seemed very into your dance."
A twinge of embarrassment ran into my stomach again. He did pick up on my face and being too into dancing. I'd expect nothing less from him and his reading of people. "I'm sorry I'm very embarrassed." I said out loud.
"Don't be. You just have a passion for your dance. There is nothing wrong with that." He tried to assure me.
He tried to change subjects, back to our business like way of communications. "So I edited our paper, and found a few errors. Do you have yours?"
Oh crap.
"Um...I-"
"You didn't edit it did you?" His face fell flat, obviously not amused.
"I forgot honestly, I'm sorry. It's just I had practice last night and then the party and I just got home a few hours ago. I had no time-." I tried to sound reasonable and looked at him seeking him to understand, but he was not the understanding type. He didn't even want me to go in the first place, so my excuse annoyed him even more.
He was too obsessed with his grades and schoolwork I decided again.
"This is just what I expected. I think you already put in your white flag of surrendering to this challenge you created the other day of you trying to be better than me. With your lifestyle you are hurting your mind and you will never amount to anything in life." He suddenly raised his voice in anger. "All I ask for you to do, in exchange for not going to work on the project that night is to simply edit our essay so we can get it done faster, and you don't follow through."
"I'm sorry..." I felt bad honestly. I disappointed him and any chance of me trying to prove myself to him seemed to be falling over a cliff.
"Was it worth it?" He asked, sitting on the opposite side of my bed, leaning his back on the wall.
"No it honestly wasn't. I had a horrible time. But honestly, I didn't drink or anything like that. I just...I wish I listened to you and didn't go. I would have had a much better time working on a boring project with you than be there and-..." I stopped my sentence. I felt myself growing instantly sad, but I held it in.
I looked at him hoping his angered face would cause me to compose myself, but his face was blank and looking at me as if he was trying to read me.
"No, tell me what happened." He suddenly said, flatly. His voice was extremely calm and almost soothing to my ears, but it certainly didn't help my sadness.
I looked down at my legs and even shut my eyes, to keep myself steady emotion wise.
"I just didn't have a good time. I didn't fit in." I said, my voice teetering from normal to shaky.
"How so? You've always acted like you were apart of that group your whole life, how could you not at something as normal in high school as a party?" His tone wasn't helping at all. For some reason it was making me even more sad if that was possible.
I found tears streaming down my face, but I didn't raise my head up. All he could see of me was the top of my head and where my hair parted. I would not give him the satisfaction of seeing how much of a wreck I was.
"Because, Cody-"
"So this is about the boy." I heard him chuckle.
"He's not just a boy." I said defensively. "I really liked him."
"Emphasis the 'ed' in liked." He repeated the word another time.
"Yeah well, he kissed me and it was just horrible and awkward since he was drunk. Later he tried to go further, but I denied him and I wake up to find he slept with some other chick."
"This is high school Alexis. There is no such thing as love or romance. Just people who care about the sexual aspects of relationships. No one cares about personality or the mind anymore. You need to learn this." He didn't sound caring or comforting, more just as if he was stating it flat out, as if I should know better or something. "This is just a case of expectations shut down and a crushed teenage heart."
"I know. I shouldn't be this upset." I slyly wiped my eyes and looked up and him, but the redness and wetness of my face must have given away to him I was crying.
"He's not worth your tears. And you don't have to hide emotions from me. We are all human you know." His face suddenly went from blank to a smile. "But just think about my plans. Wouldn't it be great for one day to not feel the emotion you are feeling right now? Just take a pill or a shot or anything and instantly feel relief from the burden of sadness or anger?" He said.
"The day you achieve that, sign me up as the guinea pig for the tests. I really would love to not feel this pain." I smiled at him slightly laughing.
"Don't say that or I will take you up on that offer, and the first few tests might not end well." He said with all honesty. "But within a month or so, you'll be over him and realize relationships at a young age are not worth anything. Relationships in general are not worth it. People in society don't understand what love is. They think they do, but all their love definition ends in the words sex or attraction. That isn't what love is, and I know I am not one to be talking as I have never experienced this emotion, but that is what I believe it to be, just by observing everyone. People are in love with the illusion of being in love."
"That's deep." I said in slight shock at how his words were making me feel better and more composed. "I'm so fascinated that you know so much about emotion. You know, your probably right about one thing. I won't ever be able to catch up to where you are smarts wise. But I can try can't I?" I added trying to make him be humored with my notion.
"We'll see in ten years then, won't we?" He laughed.
"Maybe. Hey, sorry about my state of mind, I'm just-"
"It doesn't bother me. Your only human. You have every right to feel an emotion. And honestly, you didn't act how I assumed you would. You are very good at keeping your composure for the most part. In my life, I've observed females crying and not ceasing for a long time and seeking comfort or hugs or people feeding them lies just to make them feel better. I'm not going to sit here and say 'Oh it will get better, just give him another chance, he was drunk', no I'm not going to. I'm going to tell you the flat out truth and you do what you may with it. Many people can't handle the truth."
"I can."
"Well for the most part." He passed me his edited paper. "But I have some nasty truth for you, your punctuation is horrible."
I rubbed my head and smiled, laughing at his manner of changing the subject.
"Oh no! Not that." I joked to him. "I can't handle that." I threw the paper back at him, and put my hands over my face faking a cry.
"Well get used to it, you over use the comas and semi colons. Sometimes I feel like the reader would be able to tell what I wrote and what you did. We need to combine our sentences to make it flow better.
We spent the next few hours editing and adding to our essay. Once it was done, and the finished product was printed I felt like a big chunk of the project weight was off our shoulders. We took about a ten minute break, talking about music as I had turned on the radio.
I came to find Jonathan preferred classical piano and despised country and pop. I did like classical and show music, but pop to me was so catchy and better to dance to when messing around. I played a few of the tracks from my ballet mix, and he was able to identify most of the songs.
After a bit we worked on the poster more and surprisingly completed it within two hours. It looked like a well made and effort filled poster, and not something a normal high schooler would work on.
"All that's left is our 3D model, which is the one that is stumping me." He said.
"Jonathan Crane stumped? That's a first." I said.
He sent a glare, which I deemed to be a joke, hopefully. Then he sat in thought as well as I did.
"Well I know the obvious choice." I said.
"What?"
"Playdo."
"No."
"Why?"
"This is not middle school and everyone else will be using that."
"So? Its the easiest."
"It will be our backup plan."
"Okay, know it all, let's use ice and make an ice sculpture, no one else will do that!" I said sarcastically.
"It would melt."
"No shit."
We another moment in thought.
"Why don't we use the adult version of Playdo." I said.
"What's that?"
"Clay?"
"Ugh."
"Well we could have it on fixtures so we can open up the brain and show off the individual sections and what not."
"That's actually not as half as bad of an idea as I thought it be." He said rubbing his head.
"See, I think I caught up to your smarts now." I smiled, confidently at him.
"You should quit while your ahead." He said back to me flatly.
"Well anyways I think that be a good idea, but we'd need to pick up the supplies." I said.
"To the store?" He inquired.
"Are you sure? We can do it tomorrow?" I said.
"No no, we have time. We can get almost all if not all it done today."
With that we left my house together and walked a couple blocks to the nearest CVS. On the walk, we would make comments on people we passed by and how ridiculous they would act. My normal orange radar safe feeling was now more of a yellow when I walked with him. Walking with another person in Gotham made you less likely to end up getting mugged. It was getting dark even now, and I knew the walk back would be street lit.
Entering the store we went to the arts and craft section. We found clay at a reasonable price and picked up some pink and red paints as well. Jonathan also found some wedges and other odd assortments we could use to have the clay be able to move back and forth to 'open' the brain in sections.
We split the cost of it all, which wasn't that much to begin with and made our walk back.
We passed by a couple food selling placing and I found myself hungry. I think he realized he was hungry too as we both looked at each other as if wanting the other to initiate the idea to grab something to eat quickly.
I decided too and caved in.
"Hey can we stop at a fast food joint or something? I'm starving."
"I was thinking the same thing, I realize how late it is and we didn't even eat lunch."
I glanced at my cell phone to check the time and it was nearing eight o'clock. I nodded and we stopped in the nearest fast food restaurant. We both ordered some sort of sandwich, a french fry, and a drink. I was feeling extra fat so I got a milkshake. He offered to pay out of curtsy, but I declined his offer and paid for my own meal.
We ate there, and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it be. We merely ate and chatted about how we were going to try to make a full size brain out of clay.
"This whole project requirements are ridiculous. I can see a paper and poster, but a 3D model seems a bit much for high school." I said, dipping my fry into sweet and sour sauce.
"He is just preparing us for college, and the amount of time he is giving us to complete it is rather long. We are going to end up getting it done a week ahead of schedule." He took another bite of his chicken sandwich and crumpled his wrapper up, throwing it in the bag our food came in.
"True. What do you think college is going to be like?" I asked him.
"Like high school, but bigger and more work. Some people will mature, and other will still be as if they are in high school, no not even. More like still in middle school. The work will be hard and studying will take up most of your life."
"Sounds like the time of your life."
"Oh it will be. I hold college professors in higher respect than our teachers. They actually have to be smart to get their position, but I am not going to have any big expectations. They always let a few dumb ones into the mix." He laughed.
We continued our chat for a bit and made the walk home. It was around nine when we left and the streets had cleared out of the usual crowd of people walking home from work. Out and about, were the weirdos and drug addicts, and then the two of us.
We probably could fall into the weirdo category though as we were an odd sort to be walking around. Here I was the blonde, typical high schooler walking with the long greasy haired, glasses dawned, acne ridden face, book worm.
Our species were not suppose to interact and here we were walking down the street together back to my house after eating a fattening meal at a local fast food place.
The walk we passed by a few questionable people, that if I was alone I'd feel uncomfortable passing, but soon enough we were back at my house and trying to mold clay into a brain.
It proved to be the most challenging part of our project. For an hour we tried and Jonathan ended up smashing the clay between his fingers wrecking our attempted progress.
"It's getting late, I should be returning home." He stood up and grabbed his coat from my chair, which he drooped it over. "We can finish this damn thing tomorrow. I don't care if you attempt to get it working before I come over, cause honestly art work is not in my forte."
I smiled. "Okay, I'll see what I can do in my spare time. Same time tomorrow though?"
"Actually, how about a little later. I have to go to the library and return some books and get some new ones. I end up spending a good few hours there so perhaps and three or four?"
"That's fine. Goodnight then." I smiled, and he gave a nod of acknowledgment and left my room shutting the door behind him.
I spent the next few minutes trying to fall asleep but it was useless. So I gave up and started trying to work on our brain. But it simply could not hold up its own weight if we tried to attach wedges to it to allow it to move.
I decided to try to hallow the clay pieces out and put in some bendable pipe cleaners within the clay to allow it to have some support. It actually started to work and I did the rough outline of the brain. Satisfied I went to bed.
A thought hit me and out of impulse I smelled the pillow I laid on.
No scent.
His scent had faded over the day. It didn't bug me, I just wanted to check is all.
Instead I fell asleep to the scent of clay, because of the way I like to lay down my hands are close to my head and clay was stuck underneath my fingernails.
Yuck.
The next day went by fast, and Jonathan was back over for the final time.
"This is actually a great idea." He smiled examining my brain piece of artwork.
"It was out of impulse." I told him.
"Follow impulses more often, because I sure wouldn't have thought of it."
We worked on the rest of the brain filling each sections with pipe cleaners to represent nerves and connections and glued the wedges to pieces of the brain to allow it to move.
It took only two hours to finish and then we both sat back and looked at our now complete project.
The weight was certainly off our shoulders now.
"Finally." I said, placing my hands behind my head and leaning back against the side of my bed. "We're done!"
"This had to be the longest project I have ever encountered. If I had worked alone, it would have taken longer. The model would have never worked for me." He smiled, looking at it once more.
I sighed slightly tired.
"I actually have to get home early tonight." Jonathan said. "My grandmother wasn't too happy with me yesterday as I got home at 10:30, when I suppose to get home at 10:20. So she wants me home in-" He looked at his watch, "twenty minutes actually, so I should get going."
"Oh I'm sorry, it's my fault you were late yesterday."
"It's no one's fault. I am not blaming you or I." He shrugged. "But I must go, anyways it was a pleasure working on this project with you. See you tomorrow." He lead himself out taking his keys out of his pocket and rushing out, not wanting to be late.
"Bye!" I called after him, feeling bad since he probably was going to be late again.
I realized that, that may be in very fact the last time I hung out with Jonathan outside of school. Our business was done, there was no need to hang out anymore. I'd miss our talks, really. That's all. I could live without his rudeness, awkwardness, and ability to make me feel low. But our talks really made me feel important sometimes and as if I was talking to someone just like me.
I figured I'd get over it within a few weeks. But it would be weird at first. Nearly everyday after school we hung out and did our work. The routine would be broken and life would return to normal.
Maybe I didn't want normal anymore?
I wasn't sure.
The next day Jonathan was not at school, I figured he was sick or something. It was odd to have the seat beside me empty and no one to relate to when the teacher said something about science that wasn't accurate.
Tuesday though Jonathan was in school, and I saw why he wasn't the previous day.
He had a huge bruise on his face, by his eye.
It was deep purple and yellow on the sides.
It all made sense to me.
He had been late returning home and his grandmother hit him. As for why he wasn't in school, either there are more bruises than that or she made him stay home and lectured him with religious bullshit, like he told me she does frequently.
He tried to hide his bruise with his hair, but I caught glimpses of it here and there.
I turned towards him and though it was against my gut feeling I said, "I'm sorry."
He wasn't one to accept pity, I knew this but I had to say it. I felt partially responsible for him being late home those two days.
"I am not putting any blame on you or I." He repeated himself from the other night, knowing instantly what I was talking about when I spoke to him.
"But I feel like it's partially-"
He stopped me. "Don't. There is no need to talk about this anymore."
I felt as if anything I said to him always ended up being wrong and didn't please him.
Here I was trying to be a friend, I dare say the word, a friend to him and comfort him and it's all wrong.
Communicating with him is like reading a book in the pitch dark. It's impossible.
Next chapter is the last one in the teenager years. I'll try to get it out sooner than a month.
