Chapter One - What The Hell Are You Doing Here?


NOTE: The following 50 or less chapters do not follow "Mokuba's List" in any particular order.
Chapters may not conform to the list at all as more and more ways to piss off our favourite CEO accumulates.

Also Yami/Atem makes appearances in here...hope you don't mind but...I love the Pharaoh to death!
It would break my heart not to include him in a fic! So enjoy! :)

1# Hanging Out With Yugi and his friends


"Hey! Who's the new girl?" Tea whispered over to her boys as they entered the classroom. Yugi, Joey and Tristan shrugged when they saw of their classmates huddled around a girl they had never seen before, preaching about all the reasons why fashion is more important than anything else. Including education. The girl with her sunshine blonde tresses and smiling brown eyes would have never suited the pink jacket and blue skirt uniform of Domino High School, which was probably the reason why she had opted for a more "in" look.

"I dunno..." Joey shrugged, taking his place at his desk, "But we can chat ta' her lata'! She might need some friends ta' welcome her if she's a new student!"

"Right!" Yugi nodded, clutching the Millenium Puzzle dangling from his chain and smiling at the Pharaoh who appeared at his side. "She seems like a nice enough person. Right Pharaoh?"

Atem nodded, "Of course."

Tristan and Tea joined their friends, agreeing that it was a perfectly good idea and planned to talk to her straight after class. They would get the chance to be introduced to her sooner than they thought.

"Oh. Hell. Fucking. NO!"

The gang all looked up at the latest entrant into the class, wondering what Seto Kaiba had a problem with now. For some reason, Kaiba had a stick shoved up his ass whenever he was around anybody, save Mokuba of course, but today, he looked more than just problematic. He looked genuinely pissed off.

"Whatsa matta' Kaiba?" Joey never missed a chance to annoy the heck out of Seto. "You got somethin' other than a stick shoved up ya' butt?!"

"Shut it, mutt." And Seto never missed the opportunity to get down Joey's throat. Which is why Yugi, Tea and Tristan were surprised when Seto dropped the matter entirely and took his seat at the back of the class, his mouth twisted into a scowl. His eyes seemed to be fixed on the new girl and Yugi wondered if Kaiba knew her.

"You know her?"

"Better believe it."

It was fatal. Yugi turned around and saw the girl's gaze lock bang on, ending with her scream of sheer delight. Seto groaned and buried his face in his arms, which was something Yugi and his friends had never seen. Kaiba cowering in the sight of a girl. She was probably a fan girl, but even they, Kaiba could handle. He just employed his methods of walk and ignore on them. But this girl seemed different since he cowered to hiding his head as she pushed away the people who stood in the way of her getting to Seto.

"Seto!"

Kaiba groaned even louder, undecided whether he was angry or simply pissed off as the girl's petite footsteps drew closer. As for Yugi, Tristan, Joey and Tea, they all exchanged glances as the blonde girl gave them a friendly wave before tapping on Seto's bent head, "Knock, knock, hun! It's okay! You don't have to be afraid! It's me, remember? Stella! You're favourite cousin!"

Cousin? Once again the gang exchanged glances. How could anything as bouncy, fashionized and happy as the girl called Stella, be related to Seto? It just did not fulfill all the requirements of being part of the cold, cruel and rich Kaiba family. For one, you had to be a self obsessed dick head that cares for nothing but improving and protecting your company...like Seto. And two, you had to be playful and mischievous like Mokuba, a child who was stuck in a mansion with a workaholic ego inflated maniac you had to call brother.

"Hellooo!" Stella's sweet voice trilled, "Setoooo!"

Regrettingly lifting his head, Seto growled, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Didn't my mom call you?! Remember! She's away on a business trip so she called you to ask if I could stay over. And you said YES!"

Seto remembered that part. His Aunt Sharon came over at least once every year. And before you ask, no. She wasn't part of his group of relatives that stole his original inheritance when he was orphaned. That was his dad's side. Sharon was his mother's sister and because of that, she was one of the very few adults that he could stand. After all, she resembled his mom in many ways. It was just Stella. Sharon had called him while he was busy signing KaibaCorp documents and filling out ordering forms and as much as Seto would've loved to chat to his aunt, he needed to get rid of her as soon as possible so he could focus on his work. And the quickest way to do that was to just say 'yes' to whatever his aunt was saying.


"Darling, it's so nice to hear from you! I hope I'm not bothering you!" Seto grunted in response, his right hand scribbling his signature all over thousands of documents like crazy and his left hand pressing the phone to his ear.

"Not at all, Aunt Sharon. Not at all!" He wasn't even listening to her properly.

"Listen honey, I'm going to be away for about three months so I won't be able to come see you this time round. But Stella misses you and Mokuba like crazy so I'm sending her over to your house to stay. Would that be alright love?"

"Yes, aunt. Yes, yes. Anything else?"

"Oh thankyou for asking! You're such a sweetheart, just like your mother."

She wouldn't know what she was talking about, Seto thought as he repeated a "yes".

"Stella will be going to your school while she stays with you. Please take good care of your cousin, love?"

"Yes, aunt. Of course."

"Splendid! She'll be over next week!"

"Yup!"

Seto put down the phone, forgetting the conversation altogether and focused on his full on sign and write strategy. It was no duel, but just like any other duel, it had to come to an end. After all, a duel won't play itself and papers would follow suit. They wouldn't fill themselves out.


Peeking his head beneath his arms, he sulked, "Stella, meet the geek patrol. Geek patrol, meet the Angel of Doom, Destruction and Death-OW! What the heck was that for!"

Joey and Tristan snickered as they watched Stella give Seto a sharp reminder why it isn't nice to mock other people.

"Seto Jasmindine-Arcelus Sebastian Alexiel Dustin Kaiba, you should know better than to call other people names!" Yugi and Tea couldn't help but feel their insides punching to burst out in laughter when they heard what Seto's full name was. Yugi, because he was a respectful boy and didn't ever torment his rivals, particularly his arc-rival. And Tea, well, because she didn't really like to shove people's medicine right back at them. It just wasn't in her nature. And any way, it was just Kaiba and even he didn't deserve to be ridiculed over a name. Of course, the Pharaoh had no problem with that as he hollered with laughter. He was a spirit and a lucky one too. Seto sunk back into the fortress of his arms. He knew he was being out of character, and Yugi's robotic cheerleaders were getting the mean mickey out of him. Especially Tea.

An unconcious blush crept on to Seto's cheeks when Tea crossed his mind. Another out of character trait that Stella exposed in him. God, he hated girl cousins. He was Seto Kaiba after all and shouldn't be swayed by a mere girl cousin. Annoying, prissy head, good for nothing little kids they were. The only difference between Stella and every other girl cusin in the world was the fact she was his cousin. And was therefore the queen of all girl cousins. Damn you, Stella!

"Stella! Do you have to say that out loud in front of them!" Seto yelled from inside his arms. "BITCH!"

That little word only earned him another slap and a further scolding from Stella. She didn't tolerate foul language and expected far better from her President CEO of a cousin. Ditching her radiant smile, she raised her hand and called over the homeroom teacher who had next to no idea who she was, "Excuse me, teacher! This boy over here has been using foul language and I wish to know what is the punishment for such ugly behaviour. Because whatever it is, I want it dealt to him accordingly!"

"You can't do that!" Seto spat, towering over Stella to his full height. She wasn't exactly as tall as him, but that didn't shake her as she turned to the teacher who was stuck in quite a position. No teacher had ever dared to put Seto to detention which was the regular punishment for swearing, because all hell waited for the person who dared to be first. "I can do whatever I want when my cousin isn't showing his manners, now let's have it, miss Teacher! What will it be?"

"D-d-detention!" The teacher stuttered.

"WHAT! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Seto screamed and would've lunged an attack if Stella hadn't stopped him and charmingly reassured the teacher, "Don't worry about Seto here. He does that when he gets angry. But really, he's just a puppy."

The teacher nodded, trying her best to shoulder Seto's icy daggers shooting from his eyes as she went to the front of the class.

"What the hell was that?!" Seto said through gritting teeth. Stella didn't answer him and chose the desk beside him. She only closed her eyes and lifted her chin in the air, trying to forget that she had raised her voice and gotten angry. She was a happy-go-lucky girl who tended to act like an immature 5-year-old girl when she wanted to but there was something about teasing other people and swearing that she couldn't handle. It was a clear reminder of her past. And Stella certainly didn't want to go there again. Compelling herself to calm down and break a smile, Stella finally said, "You shouldn't treat people that way, Seto. They're human just like you."

Seto would've given his cousin a piece of his mind but the teacher had called her to the front to introduce herself. So he settled for staring her down from the back of the class, shutting out any crude remarks the Mutt and his Monkey Friend (meaning Joey and Tristan) had for him.

"Class, this is Stella McAlister. She will be with us for the next three months so kids, play nice!"

"Hi, everyone!" Stella waved cheerfully, eyeing her celebrity cousin down the back and the four people he called the 'geek patrol'. "As you already know, my name is Stella. S-T-E-L-L-A and I think I'm something like...eighteen? Nineteen? Uhh...seventeen? Anyway, that doesn't matter. The important thing is that I love the colours green, pink, orange and yellow, I don't like people trying to ruin world peace by mocking and cussing each other and as everyone knows, I love fashion! Thanks!"

Seto readied himself to fully ignore Stella when she came to sit beside him, knowing it would annoy her big time. She was quite a chatterbox and didn't appreciate being shunned. Especially by family. And since she had got him onto detention, it was the perfect way to get her back. As the President of a huge gaming corporation, you would think Seto would use his brain and just ignore the unwanted detention. But for this time, he forgot that. One needed more than just money and a shiny company to combat the deadly species known as the "Girl Cousin". So Seto waited for Stella to join him and because she was family, he expected her to sit right next to him.

Stella on the other hand had other ideas. Without a second look to her cousin's favour, Stella joined Yugi, Joey, Tristan and Tea.

"Sorry about my cousin," Stella apologised politely with a smile, "But let's try this again. I'm Stella..."

"I'm Yugi Moto!" Yugi shook hands with Stella who recognised the legend's name immediately and exclaimed, "Oh so you're the King Of Games who gives Seto a good trouncing everytime you two duel! You're my hero!"

Joey sniggered and laughed, "Hey, you're pretty alright, mate! Tha' name's Joey Wheeler! The uh...Godfather of Games!"

Tristan and Tea rolled their eyes and tried to hide their muffled laughter when Stella said, "Never heard of yuh! But hi, Joey!"

"I'm Tristan!"

"And my name is Tea..." Stella grinned warmly as she shook hands with Tea. There was something about this Tea girl that made her feel warm inside. You know, that kind of feeling when you meet someone and you know that somehow you two are connected in some weird, freaky way. "Pleased to meet you, Tea...I'm dickface's cousin. Hard to tell right?" Stella's almond eyes rested on Seto who looked like he was just about ready to explode right now. His face was all red and his normally expressionless blue eyes held only the worst for Stella. She followed his eyes, finding it a surprise when Stella realised who they were on. Not only was he pissed off at Stella for hanging out with Yugi, Seto was embarassed it was in front of Tea.

"Yeah, it is!" Tea giggled prettily and Stella shrugged, "Oh well..."

Yes, there was something about Tea that intrigued Stella and she knew the answer lay in Seto's eyes.


"Let me get some rules straight!" Seto chucked his bag into the limo and climbed in after Stella, slamming the door shut as he did, "Do NOT hang out with the- with Yugi and his mates!"

"How old do you think I am, three?" Stella exhaled as she began to rummage through her bag. Frustrated that she couldn't find what she was looking for, she tumbled the contents out onto her lap. "I'll make friends with who I want, thankyou mister Seto Kaiba and don't bring up your detention on me. That was your mishap. You swore. You got what everyone else gets when they swear. So zip, zilch, zero, nada!"

"Congratulations," Seto remarked sarcastically as he ordered the limo to go pick up Mokuba from school. The poor kid was probably wondering where he was. "You learnt how to use a thesaurus."

"Congratulations, you learnt how to crack a joke..." Stella found what she was looking for, a makeup brush, and began to even out her skintone with foundation. "Want some?"

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Piss me off every time you come to stay over with me?"

"I don't do it, you piss yourself off because it somewhat 'annoys you'." The blonde girl finished off her brushing and began on her lipstick, "So just chillax mate. Take a chill pill. Oh and here..." Stella stuffed everything back into her bag, stopping short of a condom packet and threw it to Seto. "I know it might be a little too big for you, but I don't think they had your size at the store I went to."

Seto narrowed his eyes, understanding what Stella was implying, "What are you trying to say?"

"That your small, little boy down there couldn't possibly fill Tea one square inch!"

"Gardener? When the hell did she come in?"

"You like her don't you!" Stella chimed in that sunny voice Seto would give anything to strangle and silence.

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NO-"

"Oh MY GOSH! Stella's here!"

"Mokuba!"


Random fic I know...R/R...anythinq, praise, criticism...take your pic.