I glance at this book. It's tiny, small enough to fit comfortably in my palm. It's deep blue with hot pink edging.

I'll just give it back to Nicole and it'll all be good.

But I find myself growing too curious. It put the diary into my backpack and get off the bus.


That day, after school:

I read line after line of words strung together to make a dirty little secret. I knew I shouldn't have read any more, but I couldn't help it.

Every crush will be rendered useless if someone finds these evil words. Everyone of them. My past, my present, and perhaps my future. Well, if I had one. Although, that is now highly unlikely. Seemingly impossible, actually.

You know, I still can't believe I'm writing this. This feels strangely like talking to myself. And sadly enough, I know how that feels. But since I can't tell this to anyone else, and I now have no one to, so yes I'll keep this diary.

But that's besides the point. What I was trying to say is that; there's no point in dwelling in the past, but I may now have no future. I've been living like this or six months now, and I'm sure the boys have noticed some thing strange, some thing off about me. But that's beside the point. too. NO ONE CAN EVER FIND OUT!

This is my burden to bare, so bare it I will. And I will do this on my own. Although, it would be a little nice for someone to find me, someone to tell me that I'm not alone, and that they still love me. Lie if they have to, but at least say it.

Ah, I really could use some love right now, what with my life falling apart. My parents have disowned me and left me to die. I've been living in an old shack. And it's winter!

But whatever, they were only my adopted parents. My real ones would take me in in a heartbeat, if they were, you know, still alive. But that matters not, the fact that they loved me keeps me going.

The person that is hardest to lie to is Jin. When he finds out; and he will, he'll most likely be the most annoyed. But this isn't the first time I've lied to him. It it certainly won't be the last. When the boys find out they will all hate me. And then I'll be truly alone. And that is my biggest regret.

I put the book down. Disowned. Nicole had been disowned and was keeping this a secret.

I try to be mad, but he only emotion I can conjure is sadness. What will happen to Nicole? Will she be taken from me?

I can't stand that thought, so I push it away. Never, I vowed, never will she be taken to me.