Am I asleep? I don't know. I think I'm somewhere in between dreamland and reality. But I cling to Soda all night, never once letting go. I glanced at the small clock in my room. 3:15 AM. I shake Soda a little, to see if he's awake. I need to talk to someone.
"Soda?" I ask quietly.
"Mhhm?" He answers. I can tell he is still sleeping.
"I'm scared." I whisper, more to myself than him.
I think my words have woken him up, for he rolls over and I'm wrapped up in his arms. I feel the tears pour down my face, but I make no noise.
"So am I." He says. But that's impossible. Soda isn't scared of anything.
"Soda?" I say again.
"What is it, honey?" He asks gently.
"What if I never see you and Ponyboy again?"
"Don't you be saying that." He says firmly. "You will. We'll get a lawyer and get you back."
I sigh doubtfully. I think Soda goes back to sleep, because his breathing becomes more even. I make sure I'm still tucked safely in his arms. Then I finally let sleep take me.
When I wake up the next morning, its 6:00. Was it really only 3 hours ago that I spoke to Soda? Soda… I look over and see that he is still sleeping, and I'm still in the safety of his strong arms. I gently pry myself free from his firm hold on me. I do this carefully, so I don't wake him.
I look around the room quickly. Would this be the last time I ever saw it. I shake my head quickly, because just the thought makes me want to cry.
I walk into the kitchen so I can start making breakfast. I can't make eggs, because it's too early and by the time the two of them get up, the food will be cold. So I settle on pancakes. I quickly make the batter and pour it onto the pan. I think I used to much batter, because I ended up with about 20 pancakes. Hopefully one of the boys will be really hungry today.
I turn to the clock to find its only 6:30. I sigh heavily and put my hands on my hips. I feel my waist, and it feels to thin. But I've always been underweight. I'm 13 years old and only 4'11. I'm easily the smallest in my grade. I'm also the lightest, weighing only 83 pounds. My size made it easy for kids to pick on me.
My thoughts were interrupted by the slamming door. I looked over to see Two-Bit and Steve come into the house. They're here early, I thought.
"Pancakes!" Two-Bit exclaims when he sees what I've made. He comes over and takes one off the plate, shoving it into his mouth whole. I'm worried he's about to choke. Steve takes one as well, but at least he chews.
"God!" Two-Bit says when he finally takes a good look at me.
"What?" I ask, out of focus.
"Those should not be classified as shorts!" He yells, pointing.
"Why not?" I ask glumly.
"Have you seen how short they are?"
"Umm, yea, okay." I say, not paying attention.
"You okay there?" Two-Bit asks cautiously.
"Fine" I mutter.
I walk to the fridge and get out the chocolate cake. I can't believe I almost forgot that. I'm really out of it today. But at least I have good reason to be.
"So Kat," Steve says cheerfully. "Whatcha wanna do today?" He asks this because it's a Saturday. No school.
"Anything but what I'm doing." I mutter. It wasn't meant to be heard, but Steve has good ears.
"What are you doing then?" He asks.
I look up at him, and for a long time I don't say anything. But finally, I get the courage to say the words out loud.
"Steve," I say, feeling the tears coming. "I- I'm…."
"What is it?" He asks, bending down to look at me.
I take a deep, shaky breath, but I manage to say, "I'm going to a foster home."
He looks at me for a while, as if not understanding.
"Kat….. You can't go to a foster home. Did you choose this?" He asks.
I'm taken aback by his words. "Of course not!" I yelled. "This stupid woman came over and told Soda that because Darry died, I have no guardian and since I'm a minor I can't stay with him anymore!"
Steve slowly stands back to his normal height. Steve has always been like a brother, so I expected his reaction. He then turns to the wall and bangs on it in frustration.
"Dammit" He mutters under his breath.
I look at Two-Bit, who's staring at me, dumbfounded. I run to him and wrap my arms around his waist. He hugs back, and finally, realization hits me. I'm leaving.
It took a while for Soda and Pony to wake up. They don't say much when they see Two-Bit and Steve, but just mutter a quiet hello. I hate this. I hate this so much.
"You'd think somebody died." I say quietly, trying to ease the tension.
Soda and Pony looked at me with sad expressions on their face.
"Don't." Pony said. I ran to him and hugged him as hard as I could. I don't know why, it was just instinct. He hugged back immediately.
"You're gonna be alright." He whispers to me.
I don't leave my brothers at all. I stay by their side, saving the few precious moments I have left here in their presence. When it's about 1:00, I fall asleep on the couch, sprawled out on top of both Soda and Pony. I then enter the land of dreams.
I'm running madly down the street, and breathing heavily. I know I have good reason for running. I'm running away from someone, or something. I just can't remember what that is. I finally stop when the road I'm on comes to the end and becomes a cliff. I stare down, looking at the long fall. I feel a presence behind me and I turn to see who it is. All I see is their shirt, not their face. And then I feel the push and I'm falling.
When I wake up, I'm shaking madly and sweating. I feel the tears streaming down my face and I impatiently wipe them away. I open my eyes to see Soda and Pony, nervously looking down at me. I look around the rest of the room. Two-Bit and Steve are nowhere to be found.
"You okay baby?" Soda asks. It takes me a minute to realize that he's speaking to me.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine" I say. "Sorry."
Pony strokes my hair back. "Don't be sorry. You had a nightmare?" He asks gently.
I nod, not sure if I'm capable of speech.
"You wanna tell us what it was about?" Says Soda.
I shake my head no.
They both sigh but I continue to lie there, not wanting to ever get up.
At about 3:00, Two-Bit and Steve return. Like before, we don't say much, just sit in the living room. The silence is oddly comfortable.
I have my bags packed in my room. It was hard to pack my stuff, because it was proof that I'm almost gone. But Soda says that they'll get me back soon. He promised.
Then, finally, at 3:15, we hear the doorbell. I sit frozen on the couch. Maybe staying immobilized will keep them from taking me away.
"C'mon" Soda says, and lifts me up off the couch. "Go get your bags."
Pony comes with me to my room. I cry a little, but he doesn't notice. For that, I was thankful.
I walk back into the living room with my things in my hands.
I look at Steve and suddenly, he's squeezing the life out of me, but I'm hugging back just as hard.
"I'm gonna miss you kiddo." He tells me softly. "But you'll be back."
I hug Two-Bit next, and he's pretty upset. But then they leave and it's just Soda and Pony. I look at them for a moment before I fling myself at them. We stand there for a minute, holding each other, speaking all the words that were unsaid.
When the woman clears her throat, I'd really like to punch her, but instead I ignore her. She eventually says that she'll wait in the car. I don't listen.
"Kat," Soda starts, "I know where the home is, and we're allowed to come and visit, so we'll see you as soon as we can, I promise"
I just nod, because what else is there to say?
"Don't worry honey." He says, "We'll get you back."
"I love you." I whisper to both of them.
"We love you, too" Says Pony, and I'm pulled in for one last hug.
I hear the woman honk the horn and we file out the door, so I can go.
"Soda." I say stopping dead in my tracks. "Don't let them take me."
But he can't do anything, so, instead, I get into the car after another hug and kiss from my brothers. And I'm off to my new life.
