Clearly Harassment
-or-
What Part of 'No' Don't You Understand?
Chapter Three: Waylaid
The two confused geniuses shared another stunned look and then when right back to staring. Neither could quite bring himself to believe any of this was happening.
"Maybe he needs a vacation," suggested Dexter. He raised a finger, pointing at the door, and then seemed to lose the ability to put his hand down again as his adolescent brain tried to catch up with the situation.
The Professor shook his head. "I know I'm going to need one after this."
Three more minutes ticked by. Finally they heard the handle turn and Mr. Green opened the door. His composure, while intact, was exceedingly fragile at the moment, but he managed to step out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him. There was absolute quiet as the scientists stared at him, waiting for whatever was coming next.
He drew a deep breath. "I . . . I can explain all this."
Silence.
"But I'd rather not."
Dexter blinked. Utonium followed suit. At the same time they both said, "Good!"
More silence. The longer it dragged out, the harder it was to maintain.
Utonium looked down, trying to stifle a laugh. It was catchy. Dexter pursed his lips together and finally pressed a hand to his mouth to keep quiet. Watching them turn red with the effort, Kilroy felt his own amusement at the situation grow until his poise went down the tubes and he began to laugh out loud. That set his two bosses off and for the next few minutes the three of them were utterly useless.
"Maybe we should pick this up tomorrow, Dexter," suggested Mr. Green, knowing he'd be no better off at applying himself to higher math than his student.
"Excellent idea," agreed Dexter, glad to dodge vectors for a day. Regardless of the fact that he owned DexLabs and all its holdings, until his classes were over he wasn't the boss of anything or anyone, so he hastily packed the work away before the adults changed their minds.
"I'll go get the girls," said Utonium, still grinning. He checked his watch. "It's a bit late. How about we meet in the executive dining room for lunch? All right with you, Roy?"
"We'll wrap this up and meet you there," promised Green. He was glad of the invitation and the promise of company, realizing only now that not only had he left without his underwear, but his lunch and car were both back at his apartment. At least now if Him tried anything, Green would have a witness. He had no intention of letting Dexter out of his sight until he figured out how to extinguish Him's ardor permanently.
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". . . so from the giant's point of view, Jack was a trespassing, murderous thief and opportunist. He single-handedly undermined the proposed peace treaty between the giants and the king of Cornwall and set back human-monster relationships by a few centuries."
Dexter frowned. "Do you think perhaps DeeDee could be related to this Jack? They seem to display similar tendencies towards things like impulse control and destructiveness and common sense."
Keeping his cape wrapped tightly about his lean frame to stop it from flaring out as capes were wont to do on his kind and possibly betray to all of DexLabs the fact that just beneath his tunic and trousers he was . . . naked, Mr. Green smiled. "If your sister is related to him that would have to mean that you are as well."
"There is that." Folding his arms, the redhead pouted, scuffing his boots on the polished floor. "When I was six I was so disappointed to prove I wasn't adopted."
"Not many people have that complaint."
"Not many people are related to as many imbeciles as I am."
That was an inarguable fact - Kilroy had met Dexter's real parents. He far preferred Dexter's unofficial father and sisters. Green let go the cape to point down the hall. "Well, at least you were fortunate enough to augment the situation."
Dexter pushed his glasses back into place and smiled as he spotted the Professor and the three Powerpuff Girls moving toward them. As usual, the girls would not walk when they could fly, a habit that had gotten flying banned from certain areas of the building after one too many motion detector alarms were activated by them zooming through the halls. Also as usual, they were talking and making their father laugh as they hovered around him.
Midway down the hall Mr. Green slowed his pace to let Dexter go ahead and greet his sisters. He watched in glowing satisfaction to see his normally introverted, defensive student become animated and social and engage in small talk with the trio of superheroes. It was a shame more people didn't get to see how charming he could be, Green felt. Then again, he wasn't the best one to judge, being biased towards humans in general, children in particular, and his student specifically.
"Come on, girls," called Utonium, walking toward the waiting demon. "Mr. Green is joining us for lunch and I'm sure he's hungry."
Happy voices rose up - the girls were as fond of their former substitute teacher as they were of eating - and they followed quickly. They were focused on talking to Dexter, so when their father stopped in mid stride to stare in shock, they didn't notice.
Green blinked. Professor Utonium wasn't look at him, but beyond him. Dexter stepped in front of his guardian, talking all the while and not paying attention. A moment later Bubbles collided with her father's back, followed in rapid succession by Buttercup and Blossom. At the repeated impacts, Utonium spilled to the floor with a shout of surprise, smushing Dexter at the bottom of the pile. Similar cries escaped the three girls as they tumbled down gracelessly on top of them. A moment later Green understood Utonium's shock when a long, red-clothed arm slipped around his waist and his left hand was carefully lifted in Him's claw. A chill ran down his spine at the touch of warm breath on his neck as Him tried to tug him back against his chest. Kilroy set his feet firmly, refusing to be pulled off balance.
"You wanted witnesses," teased Him, smiling fondly. "Now you have five."
The Utonium clan was untangling itself. Their reactions were almost laughable as one after another they realized what was happening.
Dexter was appalled, as much as at anything getting past security as at his favorite teacher being mauled by anything so sinister and ugly and badly dressed. Fury filled him as he saw not only the possessive gleam in the red demon's eyes, but the subdued struggle going on between the two. Mr. Green clearly did not welcome these advances. From the bottom of the heap of Utoniums, Dexter managed to wriggle a hand free to point a finger at the uninvited, unwanted, androgynous red thing cluttering up his corporate headquarters.
"Unhand my teacher, you . . . you . . ." Dexter hesitated, uncertain. "Professor, what is that thing?"
Pushing himself up off the floor and his ward and spilling Powerpuff Girls to all sides, Utonium was momentarily speechless in horror at the sight of his trusted friend and employee in the grips of the Ultimate Evil. He dragged Dexter, most vulnerable of his children, back and away, unable to stop staring. At the boy's protests, Utonium finally managed to whisper, "That's Him."
"Him who?" wondered Dexter, so astonished at the Professor's reaction that he let himself be hauled away.
"A demon so vile, so evil, so horrible his very name strikes fear into the hearts of men."
Staring at his chosen father through this overly dramatic utterance, Dexter gave a little sound of, "Ah. That explains why you're afraid, Dad. I guess I've got a few years to go yet."
Utonium glowered. "You'll be changing your tune when you're old enough to vote, junior. Trust me."
"His wardrobe is pretty scary," allowed Dexter.
Bubbles remained on her knees, both hands raised to her mouth as she took in the sight of poor Mr. Green in the clutches of Him. She dared not move, terrified of what the nasty demon might do to hurt her sweet and gentle friend. Mr. Green looked surprised for a moment, and then his eyes narrowed and he frowned.
Standing beside her sister, Blossom saw the situation in a completely different light. She saw the unconcealed desire in Him's expression as he tried to tug Mr. Green closer. For Him to show up here, right in front of the Powerpuff Girls and their family and friend, was beyond gutsy. When Him gave Mr. Green a sappy, adoring look, she felt her bile rise and a wave of nausea swept over her. Like Bubbles, she clapped her hands to her mouth, but it was out of revulsion, not fear, and she had never pitied anyone more than Mr. Green at that moment.
Buttercup, on the other side of Bubbles, had deliberately placed herself between their enemy and her family. She was mentally debating the best way to fry Him and save Mr. Green from that slime ball. The trick was making sure none of the geeks got hurt. She was focused solely on Green and his subtle little fight not to fall back against Him. The situation wasn't lost on her - Him was clearly angling for a date at least and the Powerpuff Girl couldn't help but feel sorry for her old substitute teacher. Mr. Green was a class act and quite a good catch if you liked green skin (which, Buttercup had to admit if only to herself, she did) but he'd never got out with the likes of Him . . . she hoped.
"I'm not interested!" Mr. Green snapped, trying to tug free of Him's grip. "Not even a little!"
Kilroy was the shorter of the two demons but for his horns, and Him leaned in close and sultry to ask, "So you're saying it was premature for me to have 'Kilroy was here' tattooed on my-"
With a shout of alarm that drowned out Him's last word, Utonium clapped his hands over the ears of the nearest child, in this case, Dexter. The boy genius gave a yelp of surprise as Utonium's protective tendencies went into overdrive and he was dragged even further away, a victim of hyperactive parenting.
Suddenly Buttercup's eyes grew wide. She saw a slow, graceful movement as Mr. Green lifted one booted foot. Delight filled her and she felt a giggle welling to the surface in anticipation of what was about to happen. Mr. Green met her eyes, his expression calm and warning as his look told her not to give him away. Buttercup sobered up instantly - this was going to be too good to miss.
"Mr. Green!" whined Bubbles, almost in tears as she expected the worst.
Blossom, her coloring close to that of Him's love interest, tried not to heave as Mr. Green looked back at Him with an almost coy expression on his face. "Last chance."
Him's eyes grew wide. Full of hope, he asked, "For romance?"
His foot rose higher. Buttercup looked at Green's boot - a steel-toed, heel-ironed, heavy-duty engineering boot specifically for working with Dexter in his laboratory - and felt a swell of pride for her brother's teacher and what was about to come.
"To let me go."
"What if I can't?" Him tightened his hold. "What if I say never?"
Kilroy Van Green smirked . . .
. . . and brought his heel down as hard as he could.
