CHAPTER 3
"Harry, you do know that you are my best mate right. So I only need a simple answer to my question…why didn't you include me in your prank?"
"I need someone to watch my back Ron and there is no one I trust more than you."
Ron stopped in his tracks looked at Harry and said
"Mate we are teenage guys. The only emotions we should be experiencing are lust and curiosity not whatever it is Daphne is making you feel. Stop with all the mushy crap and tell me again how you made Rodger piss himself."
Unfortunately for Ron they arrived at the Potions class at that exact moment. Ron immediately sought out Draco seeing as the Lion-Snake combination was still going on.
"Now class, most of the times you are all dunderheads with the exception of a few of you but lately you have been shoeing me a side of you I never expected…intelligence and cooperation. So today I'll teach you something a lot more advanced than potions…muggle baking."
When Collin Creevey came to the potions class to call Daphne and Harry for the weighing of the wands he was shocked to find a class full of flour and a smiling Snape. Let it be said that there is nothing more frightening than a smiling Snape.
A smiling Snape conjures up the memory of sadistic vicious clowns ready to devour your soul.
"Collin if you reveal to anyone what you have witnessed in this room I will personally stalk you for the rest of your Hogwarts days."
Collin immediately passed out his mind conjuring up images of Snape in a red wig with a bright red nose.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
After the weighing of the wands which, in Fleur's words, was equal to a cock measuring contest Rita Skeeter went straight for Harry but he was more than ready for her.
"Trying to seduce me already Ms Skeeter, I did read somewhere that you liked younger men."
Everyone's attention immediately focused on the pair with Fleur's eyes narrowing dangerously. Rita had never known when to quit so she eyed Harry like a piece of meat and said
"My dear Harry I'm not sure you would even know what to do with a lady like me even if I offered myself to you on a silver platter with cherry on top."
"Since I can't take your cherry you want to take mine as I feed from your body…"
"No one has taken your cherry yet little Harry? Word is you have a very fine firebolt and you don't mind letting witches take a ride."
"I don't think you want to add cradle robber to your long list of achievements but knowing you, you haven't ridden a proper broom since the Cleansweeps came out."
"Well Harry there's a broom closet here where I can show you that for a new broom to sweep clean it needs an experienced hand."
"Lead the way my lady."
As soon as Harry and Rita were in thee broom closet alone everyone looked at each other wondering what in Merlin's holy name was going on. Everyone looked to Dumbledore silently pleading, asking and he acquiesced.
He placed a charm on the door that would amplify the sounds coming from the closet and everyone waited in silence
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
MY PERFECT MAN, RITA SKEETER
Being a strong woman is hard because most men are afraid of you. They are intimidated by my presence, my beauty, my intelligence, my charm. That's why I like my men younger than me…
McGonagall took one look at the article and spat her coffee all over it.
"Minnie you haven't even gotten to the good parts."
A quick cleaning charm by Dumbledore and the newspaper was good as new.
You all know that Harry Potter is in the Tri wizard tournament and some consider him a shoe in for the cup while others think he is out of his mind. What you might not know is how good Harry Potter is with his tongue
Thinking that my years of experience would help me easily defeat him, I soon learnt that there were hidden depths to the mysterious Potter. Or should I say his tongue can find the hidden depths.
In mere seconds Harry had me against the wall pulling on my vast knowledge and experience in the face of what appeared to be in born talent. He gave as much as he took and it was soon that I demanded a break and a little privacy to compose myself before attempting to start over but that seemed impossible.
The Yule Ball is coming up soon. Harry is going to make one witch a very special woman that night or on any night he chooses.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT"
That was the reaction of most girls in Hogwarts when word of the article spread but my attention was on Ginny, Fleur, Daphne and Hermoine.
Ginny was in the Gryffindor common room trading gossip with Parvati and Lavender when someone passed them a copy of the prophet. While Ginny hyperventilated over the thought of some other woman touching "her" Harry Parvati and Lavender kept breaking out in giggles as they couldn't stop imagining Harry's tongue.
"You do remember that he is a parselmouth. Snakes have really long tongues and they know how to use them."'
Hermoine, Blaise, Daphne, Tracey and Neville were in the library reading up on some herbology when Draco dropped a copy of the prophet right in front of them.
"Looks like your boyfriend is into older women now, Daphne. How will you ever survive?"
"I won't run into the arms of my Weasley boyfriend that's for sure Draco. How is daddy taking the news of your relationship? Or haven't you told him yet?"
"And where are Crabbe and Goyle? Have they declared their endless love for each other and dumped the third wheel yet?"
Everybody looked at Neville in awe…
"What! Tracey is rubbing off on me in more ways than one."
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
"The English are vulgar even in their newspapers"
"But if half of what is written here is true…Fleur you will introduce us to Harry, non?"
Fleur looked at her two best friends, Marie and Caroline, and thought to herself how wrong they were. Harry Potter was an interesting young man playing a very dangerous game and she wouldn't mind getting personal with him as well.
"Fleur are you blushing…"
"What are you imagining doing to Harry?"
"Well if you must now I'm imagining kissing his lips, properly kissing not whatever these English do, then I'd move to his neck and place gentle kisses on it…He'd be powerless against me."
Marie and Caroline looked at each other then moved a bit away from Fleur making her burst into laughter.
"And I would teach him how to properly please a woman."
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
That day was more awkward for Harry than any other in his life. A seventh year Ravenclaw waked seductively to him and whispered in his ear
"I heard about the challenge you issued, look for me and I'll show you that there is a woman in Hogwarts worthy of the great Harry Potter."
She finished by giving him a deep kiss which earned her a death glare from Daphne.
"Harry hope you don't mind if I kiss your girlfriend."
Before Harry or Daphne could fathom what she had said the girl had kissed Daphne so deeply that Daphne was left breathless. The girl turned to walk away but Daphne grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again this time making sure that she controlled the kiss.
The girl smiled in Daphne's arms and whispered in her ear
"I wouldn't mind both of you"
AN: A filler chapter before we get to the good parts. Hope you liked the article in the prophet because it will be something of a scandal in the next chapters. Shoutout to all the guys who favourite follow and comment on this story; I'd love to get your feedback so please send in your comments.
And PS Rita didn't write that article
In the next chapter we have Dragons, fire, angry Weasleys and French girls chasing Harry.
I need art for this story so somebody please hint hint
Preview of chapter 3
"Dragons!Our first task is against bloody dragons."
Ron looked at Harry and was overjoyed that it was him in the tournament.
"You've beaten a basilisk mate. Dragons can't be much different. You can talk to snakes why not try talking to the dragon."
"And tell it what exactly? I love the shade of your scales please don't eat me I probably taste horrible. Malnutrition isn't good for long term flavouring."
