CHAPTER 2 - Us Against The World

Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground,

And start new, when your heart is an empty room, with walls of the deepest blue…

"Well I'm off, love," Killian drawls as soon as the couple's car leaves the driveway.

"What? They literally just said it was us on babysitting duty tonight. Us, Killian," Emma says and glares at him, immediately irritated.

"Well the Rabbit Hole calls, and I must answer. Don't suppose you've heard of it though, Swan, only Seniors of a certain… calibre, go there," Killian smirks and dons the long leather cape that Emma has noticed he wears everywhere, like some kind of swash-buckling pirate.

"Oh screw you! And my name is Emma. So go if you're leaving, I'll be fine with all these kids, business as usual and all that," Emma says darkly.

"Of course, you'll be fine. And you won't tell Sean, or Ashley, where I went either, because you're a good little girl, Swan. We all know it,"Killian says with a laugh that makes Emma's skin crawl. He swiftly leaves the house before Emma can think to stand in his way, a bottle of whisky tucked under his arm and a flask in the other.

Emma turns back around, runs her hands through her hair and sighs, surveying the scene she's been left with. Sound seems to be amplified in that moment.

Robert and his twin Elisha are screaming about nothing, like only two very young children can. It doesn't take Emma long to find the source. They have managed to delve into what looks like a bucketful of old halloween candy, before Emma finally snatches it out of reach. Their crocodile tears get too much for her, so she puts them off with a story about how too much candy makes your stomach lining soft, and all the food you eat will spill into your blood stream, and burst out of your skin. The story works and so she feels only slightly guilty about telling scientific lies for the good of her own sanity.

Elisha decides to watch Cinderella, for the eighth time since Emma's arrival, and Robert, undeterred by Emma's gross account, proceeds to scream for more candy.

It doesn't take long before Robert decides he wants control of the TV; Emma is busy feeding baby Alexandra and too late to prevent the wrestling match he starts with Elisha in front of Lily. Emma figures she could ask Lily to help her out, she's sixteen after all, but Killian said something about 'leaving that one well enough alone' (whatever that actually means), so Emma is tentative even though she knows now not to trust Killian as far as she can throw him. All Emma really knows for sure about Lily is that she keeps herself to herself and they've barely said two sentences to one and other. Considering they share a room it's a pretty mean feat.

Lily looks frustrated and a little pissed off when Robert and Elisha try to make her play-fight with them and instead she turns on her heel, taking the notebook she was scribbling in to their shared room.

Emma puts the baby down in her crib, having tried everything she can think of to stop her crying. Milk had helped marginally, then burping had calmed her, but Alexandra was still wailing as though she knew Emma was at her wit's end.

She turns to discover the lounge is devoid of life; peace and quiet at last, she thinks wryly. Instead of being happy about it though, Emma has a sinking feeling that something somewhere is being damaged irreparably by the twins — but she is past caring at this point. Emma officially just wants this night to end. She glances at the clock on the mantlepiece and groans to see it's only 11pm, meaning it has barely been two hours since Killian left.

She collapses on the sofa and grabs the nearest pillow to shove over her head, simultaneously putting in her earphones. Emma can just about hear Alexandra's incessant crying, Robert once again screaming for more candy in another room and the TV playing in the background.

"Um…Emma?"

"What?" she grunts, pushing herself up and removing her earphones from their position, whilst she pulls away the comforting pillow-shield from her eyes. She doesn't mean to sound so angry but that's clearly how she had come across.

"Do you… I mean I can… help, if you like?" Lily shoves her hands in her pockets and looks at the wooden floorboards as if they will swallow her up any second now, saving her from Emma's reply to her proposal.

Oddly, Emma feels weirdly intimidated by the girl, and it was even worse when Emma first moved in three weeks ago. Lily doesn't talk much, but when she does it seems like everyone is holding their breath in anticipation. Like every word is precious or explosive – she hasn't figured out which it is yet. But then maybe I've just misjudged her based on what Killian's told me? Maybe she's just really shy? Emma thinks cautiously.

"If you're sure you're okay with it then yeah, I'd really appreciate your help. I mean, I used to look after kids at my other foster homes, but…" Emma trails off, unsure how to explain her inadequacy for this role without sounding like a complete idiot.

"You feel like you've been thrown in at the deep end," Lily murmurs with a knowing smile tugging at the corners of her lips, "I should have offered earlier. I'm sorry," she apologises quickly, her cheeks reddening slightly. Emma nods and thinks she might be right about the shyness.

"Better late than never," Emma says shrugging, trying to put her at ease a bit, "let's do this thing and then maybe we can actually get some sleep tonight."

Lily looks up from her trainers for the first time and lets a dazzling smile show her agreement.

Lily was really holding out; it turns out she is quite the child minder when she puts her mind to it. Emma can't help but wonder why she looked so uncomfortable earlier with the twins.

Emma watches in awe as little Alexandra is the first to get what she jokingly calls 'the Lily treatment'. Once Lily discovers that the baby's favourite toy today is a set of keys, Alexandra calms down enough to fall asleep in her arms. All Emma is left with to do, is place the infant in her cot with a comforter – which even she can't mess up. The twins are more of a challenge, but only marginally so with the miracle-girl on her side.

"You have to get Robbie in bed first, otherwise Eli complains it's unfair because he's younger by three minutes and all that," Lily says rolling her eyes.

"Hold on…The yelling's stopped. Where is Robbie?" Emma wonders aloud, whilst Lily just laughs quietly and tells her she'll find Elisha.

It takes a while but Emma finally discovers Robert, his cute chubby cheeks are still red and tear-stained from screaming at her and his sister. He's fast asleep on a pile of dirty laundry in the kitchen. Before, Emma had been close to tearing her hair out because of this little boy, but now he looks angelically innocent. Emma clumsily gathers him up into her arms and carries him to the room he shares with Elisha. She tucks him in, silently revelling in how motherly it feels. Then she feels sick at the thought of parents and mothers and babies and her baby…

"Hey, earth to Emma?" Lily's lilting voice snaps her out of her cheerless thoughts of parenthood. "I was just saying…We're done," she says and starts to walk back into the lounge.

"Wait, Lily… Thank you, I couldn't have done that without you," Emma tells the girl whole-heartedly. Lily turns around slowly and nods, smiling in acknowledgment of the thanks. Then her expression becomes serious.

"Don't let Killian take advantage of you. Next time, tell him to shove it or you'll let Ashley and Sean know where he goes off to," she says sincerely, sounding like she's speaking from experience.

"I'm not a grass," Emma says bluntly, but Lily just looks at her as though she's grown two heads.

"I'm not saying actually tell them. If he believes there's any chance you might, he'll probably think twice before leaving you in the lurch again," she reveals as if it's obvious.

"You're pretty smart, you know that?" Emma says fondly, smiling at her and following her out of Robert and Elisha's bedroom.

"So I've been told," she smirks.

Emma feels a vibration in her back pocket and goes to glance at Lily apologetically, only to see an empty lounge and the door to their shared bedroom closing. She shakes her head slightly before grabbing her phone and flipping it open. The simple message has her grinning like a Cheshire cat.

snuck out, meet u at our new spot? Miss u x

Emma had told Neal about moving to Storybrooke the second she got out of Mary Margaret's car after finding out herself. He has been trying to sneak out ever since. Emma can't make her fingers tap fast enough.

Sure. Be there in 20.

Then as an afterthought, because all of a sudden her reply seems far too dispassionate.

Missed you too, dumbass.

Emma presses send and slips her hoody off the hook in the hallway. She is about to leave when sanity regains control of her addled brain. What about all the kids? She feels ridiculously irresponsible. She is going to have to ask Lily a favour. A big favour. We've only known each other three weeks... what are the chances she won't simply take her own advice and threaten to grass me up? Emma thinks. But she has to try. She needs to see her best friend.

Emma knocks and opens the door to their shared bedroom. Lily is sitting on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest with the same notebook from earlier balanced on them, writing steadily. She looks up when Emma doesn't say anything and her perceptive eyes take in the hoody she's now wearing.

"Lily, I know it's so, so wrong of me to ask this, especially after you just helped me when you didn't need to, or have to, but-"

"Go," she says and then continues working on whatever she has in front of her.

"I'm sorry?" Emma solicits, certain she has misunderstood the girl's meaning or Lily has misunderstood what she's asking.

"You want to go meet someone, and it's obviously someone important to you or else you wouldn't be asking me. So just go. It's whatever, Emma. Just make sure you're back before Sean and Ashley are."

She doesn't look up from her writing. Emma is across the small room and hugging her small frame before she fully realises what she's doing. Lily's book drops to the floor as she stiffens and Emma feels awful for imposing on her like this.

"Sorry," Emma says, retracting her arms to reach down and pick up the girl's book.

"Don't!" She cries suddenly, causing Emma to freeze in her actions as Lily picks up the book herself and shuts it warily. She looks back up at Emma with hurt-filled eyes and she can tell she's crossed some invisible line.

"I'm sorry," Emma says again, and uncertain what else she can say to appease her makes the snap-decision, "I'll just stay."

Emma gulps as her brain catches up with her mouth. Neal only manages to sneak out once a month, though he claims he does it much more.

"Emma, go. Just go. I won't say it again," Lily commands, her cold voice signifying that some sort of invulnerable shield has been put up against the world once more.

"Thank you," Emma whispers and quickly leaves before either girl changes her mind.

Emma runs through the quiet streets in her excitement. The shadows that would ordinarily make her cringe instead only serve to speed up her pace. She reaches the trashed up bench opposite the clock tower they had decided to make their new meeting spot.

She steadies her breathing as she crosses the road towards Neal, who's already sat around looking bored. His annoying position means that the lack of light is obstructing any view of his face. He could've grown a beard for all Emma knows: she hasn't had a glimpse of him in over two months. That's why tonight is so important.

"Hey stranger," Emma says and laughs as he jumps, not realising she's right beside him.

"Hey yourself," he replies gruffly, but his brown eyes are sparkling in the way that Emma once loved. His wavy dark hair has grown a few inches since she last laid eyes on him and it makes him look younger somehow. He's taller too and skinnier – no beard though.

"You just gonna sit there or does your best friend get a hug?" she asks quietly, hoping their relationship hasn't been affected too much by the long separation. They still message nearly everyday.

He stands up awkwardly and Emma wraps her arms around his waist, burying her face into his chest as she feels his arms enclose her shoulders, holding her tight. She breathes in his familiar smell and a wave of nostalgia hits her.

"You have no idea how much I've missed seeing you," Emma tells him, internally kicking herself a second later for revealing her thoughts first.

"I think you have that backwards," he replies, causing Emma to chuckle lightly.

After her pregnancy their romantic relationship came to a bitter end. Emma was hurt, and lashed out, avoiding Neal until he begged her to forgive him for not being there through it all. Slowly Emma did forgive him, but they were never intimate again. People assume they are still a couple, even Rose, but Emma knows herself well enough now to know, that she will never let herself be vulnerable with a man like that again.

They release each other and sit down, pleased to stay in their own thoughts for a while. Emma leans back against Neal's chest and steals his warmth. Finally, she remembers something she can tell him.

"I'm starting Storybrooke High on Monday, my transfer papers have gone through."

"Only two more days of freedom, that sucks," he grimaces and muffs up her hair playfully.

"I'm kinda looking forward to it in a way," she admits and he looks at her like she's suddenly sporting a moustache, "Not the lessons you idiot, just the chance to start somewhere new and make some friends," Emma says quickly, amending her treacherous remark.

"In the middle of the year? With Storybrooke cliques? Good luck with that one," he scoffs and she looks away to hide her downcast expression.

"Yeah, I bet they're all fakes like everyone in my old school anyway. Storybrooke Young Women's Institute. Sounds like a hellhole already," she says light-heartedly, trying to laugh but failing miserably.

"Emma, don't listen to me. I'm an idiot," he places his hand on hers in a comforting gesture, "You'll make loads of great friends, all much better than me," he adds with a half-smile. Emma squeezes his hand till he looks up and their eyes connect.

"I don't need any other best friends but you," she enlightens him in a solemn tone, "I don't think I could handle the drama," she adds sarcastically, ruining the moment. At least it makes him laugh for the first time all evening.

"I see how it is," he murmurs and she observes how his forehead furrows before he asks, "When we were texting a while ago, didn't you say you were worried about something to do with school?"

Leave it to Neal to remember that specific insecurity I mentioned in passing over a week ago, Emma thinks.

"Yeah, but it's gonna sound stupid to you because you're a guy, and guys don't care about that kinda stuff..." Emma does not want to talk about this with him, but at the same time she craves her oldest friend's advice.

"Try me. When have I ever judged you?" He's right, he hasn't – not ever. Which is one of the main reasons they have remained firm friends throughout the long years of foster care and even after their baby's birth and closed adoption.

"Okay here it is. I literally have no clothes to wear to school. I've been wearing this same ripped jeans and hoody combo for like a year now because Stephen didn't believe in giving an allowance," Emma confesses in one big breath, with more than a hint of embarrassment at the fact that it bothers her so much. Shannen's comments are still fresh in her mind.

"That's not stupid at all, it's screwed up that they never gave you money for simple stuff like that," Neal says and Emma notices him looking down guiltily at his own Levis, which both of them know Gold's money laundering pays for.

"There's this shop that started up around here pretty recently called something dumb like 'Royal Mills'. Anyways, it's new so they have, like, no security set up yet. I bet you could lift a few things easy," he says with a glint in his eyes.

Of the two of them, Neal has always been the most comfortable with breaking the law. His reasoning being that the whole system has let them down, so why should they abide by it? Emma understands the logic, she just doesn't usually agree with it. Yet she still finds herself stealing sometimes, when her moral judgement takes a backbench and necessity wins out.

"I don't know, dude. Rose has been going on at me. She wants me to keep my head down here or else she says she'll bring me to the attention of the agency again," Emma lies through her teeth because luckily Neal wouldn't know any different: it has happened before.

"Rose, really? Come on! You know she won't follow through - that woman's soft as hell when it comes to you. It's just some richer-than-God mogul that owns the shop anyway… what harm can it do? And just the other day you said you're sick of people pitying you," Neal says and Emma can feel myself herself being persuaded by the picture he is painting. He's right – what harm can it really do in the grand scheme of things? If the owner's well off anyway, what do they care if a few things 'go missing'?

"I can always just take a couple of things to tide me over for now and ask Ashley and Sean for money once I know them better…" She says slowly.

"Exactly," he beams at her and Emma smiles back. A thought falls unbidden into her mind and she can't seem to shake it. Emma sighs and unsteadily gets to her feet; her legs have gone to sleep.

"What's up?" Neal asks worriedly.

"Nothing, I just have to go. I have to be home before my foster parents realise I left Lily in charge of babysitting."

"I'm gonna have to learn a whole new set of family names now, aren't I? That is, if you're going to stick it out?" He implores, knowing that more often than not Emma finds herself invisible in foster homes. She doesn't make a fuss like some kids, so foster parents tend to forget about her. They cash the cheques, she shows her face every once and a while, usually just when Rose comes calling.

"We like Lily, she just did me a massive favour. The twins are Robert and Elisha and they're classic troublemakers – but then they're only six and they've only been moved once, so I can't blame them. Then there's baby Alexandra, who's the Herman's actual birth daughter. She's cute. Killian's a big-headed ass, but then you knew that already," Emma explains succinctly, ticking them off on her fingers as she does so. Neal nods at that with a slight grimace at the mention of Killian's name.

"I hate that guy. He wears that cape thing to class you know — nearly caught it on fire in Chemistry one time, you should have seen the panic on his face…" Neal chuckles and Emma laughs at the image.

"Hey, you didn't answer my other question," Neal reminds her, "Will you stay?"

"Maybe… I don't know yet… From what I've seen of the Hermans, they don't seem too bad. They don't seem big on corporal punishment and there's enough food to go around. But I'll probably find somewhere else to sleep soon anyway," she divulges, pleased to get those thoughts off her chest.

"Why's that?" He asks, genuinely curious.

"Too many people. Too little privacy. Too much pressure," Emma lists plainly and her best friend of seven years asks no further questions; he already knows about her tendency to run when expectations are high, so there's no need. He only nods in understanding and makes a circular motion on the back of Emma's hand with his thumb. The soothing feeling is exactly as she remembers it used to be, back in the days when they lived in an old run-down shelter together, and later yet another group home.

"I'll try and meet you at Granny's after school sometimes. It's this diner up on Main Street. My dad might not mind if it's only to hang out with you," Neal says, though the uncertainty in his voice is easy for Emma to hear. Mr Cassidy — nicknamed Gold because of his lucrative pawn shop and the fact that he practically owns Storybrooke with his bonds and leases — is manically overprotective and both know that he will mind. She lets Neal's false promise slide for now.

"I'll look forward to it. Bye dude," Emma impulsively gives him a quick peck on the cheek and struts away, smirking to herself at the expression of shock on his face.

"See ya, Emma!" He calls after recovering his senses, one hand cupping his cheek. Emma laughs properly for the first time in far too long.

'Cause all you see is where else you could be, when you're at home;

Out on the street are so many possibilities, to not be alone…