Chapter 3: Let Her Go*

* Let Her Go, (2012). Mike Rosenberg (Passenger).

Maya wandered the abandoned halls of the castle, determined to learn her way around before the students arrived. As she neared the dungeons her thoughts drifted to Severus. It wasn't like him to be gone so long without word, and Bellatrix was undermining him at every turn. Maya had tried contacting him with her dragon pendant but received no answer. It was possible that he just wasn't wearing the magically linked cufflinks that day, but there was also a chance that his cover had been blown. She didn't want to think about the consequences for him if that happened. Her mind was made up. She was his partner after all; it was her responsibility to make sure he was alive.

By late afternoon Maya had discovered the location of Spinner's End, by all accounts a dingy street in a rundown town outside of Halifax. With a familiar wand motion, her hair faded to dingy blond waves that skimmed her jawline and her eyes to a pale watery blue green. She clasped the invisibility cloak Severus had given her last Christmas around her shoulders, steeling her courage as she walked out onto the grounds.

When she opened her eyes, she was on one of the most depressing streets she had ever seen. Tobias Snape had truly wanted to hide his wife and son. The cobblestone street was slippery and wet under Maya's feet and she could smell an unpleasant stench coming from the river a few streets away. The towering smokestack of the abandoned textile mill dominated the skyline. Maya scanned the street on the lookout for dementors, hoping that their presence would explain the grim mood on the street.

Most of the houses were boarded up, all but the last house on the row, which had thick black curtains hanging at the window. Maya could feel the strong magical wards emanating from the house. This was unquestionably her target. As she made her way to the house, two voices came from the direction of the river. Maya slipped into an alleyway just in time to see two hooded figures pass by, one of them constantly looking over their shoulder and back up the long street as if expecting to be followed.

Maya caught a hint of a woman's voice in a haughty French accent. 'Bellatrix,' she thought and wondered what would bring Bellatrix to Snape's door. The Death Eater argued with her companion as they walked up to the worn front door. After a few moments, Maya unclasped her cloak and drew the shimmering velvety material of the invisibility cloak over her head, hiding her from all but the keenest magical eyes. She moved quietly to a better vantage point behind an old abandoned car.

The curtains parted for a brief moment then snapped closed again and the front door opened just a crack. The figure closest to the door threw back her hood to reveal a long mane of platinum hair. 'Narcissa Malfoy. What could possibly be so important that it would bring you to a place like this?' Maya thought. She wished she could hear the exchange of words between Snape and the sisters, the two women quickly slipped inside and the door shut again.

Maya crept up to the run down house, standing on tiptoes to peer into the dirty window. Always on his guard, Severus had warded the house against eavesdroppers. She could hear nothing of the conversation going on inside. Through a small gap in the dingy, curtains she could see Severus say something to Pettigrew and the rat-like man, face pouting, stomped off towards a hidden staircase behind a tall bookcase. No one spoke until the bookcase swung back into place sealing the passageway beyond. Maya breathed a sigh of relief; physically Severus looked unharmed.

Bellatrix began ranting almost as soon as the bookcase closed. Severus, back rigid and face blank looked on calmly as she raved, arms waving wildly as she spoke. Maya guessed the Death Eater was trying to catch him in some lie she could take back to her master. Bellatrix fired off questions at him with lightning speed. Severus answered each attack looking unruffled and bored, which only seemed to anger Bellatrix more.

The conversation shifted to Narcissa and Maya had to duck down when Severus crossed the room to look out the window. She held her breath as she crouched on the ground, hoping she had gone unnoticed. After counting to twenty, she raised herself up, risking a peek through the curtains again. Severus had pulled the curtains closer together before returning to the other side of the room and Maya had to strain to see through the incredibly small gap in the curtains. Narcissa suddenly burst into tears, grabbing at Severus' coat, a pleading look of desperation on her crumpled face. 'My how the mighty have fallen,' Maya thought bitterly.

Maya tried to read lips, but it was no use, she couldn't make out any details of what was being said. She swore in frustration at the dirty window and her obstructed view of Narcissa and Severus. Giving up surveillance as a lost cause, Maya moved back to the cover of the abandoned car to wait until the sisters emerged.

Inside the shabby little house, Severus had lost patience with the conversation, until Narcissa's emotional outburst. The trick to playing his part was to provide reasonable facts while at the same time planting enough self-doubt in her mind to ensure she was too terrified to ever speak of it to the Dark Lord. Thankfully, since the dismal episode at the Ministry, the Dark Lord trusted no one.

"He's my son, Severus. My only son!" Narcissa pleaded.

"You should keep your mouth shut, Cissy. The Dark Lord forbid us to speak of it," Bella admonished. "It is a great honor. Draco was chosen. We should be proud of him."

'Tasking Draco to kill Dumbledore? It's preposterous,' Severus thought. No one could think that the Dark Lord had any expectation of the boy succeeding. 'So when Draco fails, the Dark Lord will take pleasure in killing the boy just to punish Lucius.'

Severus had been there the night Draco had taken the mark; a full year and a half younger then when Severus himself had taken his own mark. Draco may be arrogant and foolish but he was still his student and Severus had known the boy his entire life. He feared the Draco was in well over his head. As Snape processed this immense piece of information he almost missed Narcissa's next statement.

"Will you protect him, Severus? Will you make the Unbreakable Vow?" she sobbed.

"The Unbreakable Vow?" His voice was even as he quickly calculated the tremendous risk in taking The Vow with this woman; to break the magical vow meant instant death. However, this single task would go a long way in squelching the rumors Bellatrix and her associates were spreading about. For a brief moment a rogue thought of Maya flashed through his mind. He pushed it away at once, thankful neither witch was much of a Legilimens.

Bellatrix cackled triumphantly. "Oh, he'll try, I'm sure… his usual empty words, slithering out of any real action… Oh, on the Dark Lord's orders, of course!" she spat.

Snape ignored her, keeping his steely eyes focused on Narcissa. The path was clear, he had no other option. "Certainly, Narcissa, I shall make the Unbreakable Vow," he said quietly. "Perhaps your sister will consent to be our Bonder."

Severus and Narcissa took the traditional position, kneeling, hands clasped. He looked directly into her red-rimmed eyes; she must not see doubt in his eyes. "You will need your wand, Bellatrix."

Bellatrix took out her wand and stood above them, a mixture of anger and astonishment on her twisted face. "When you are ready, Narcissa."

Narcissa took a deep breath. "Will you, Severus, watch over my son, Draco as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes?"

Snape gazed into Narcissa's eyes unblinkingly as the golden magical cords from Bellatrix's wand bound their hands. "I will."

"And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?"

"I will." He should have known it was too easy.

"And, should it prove necessary…if it seems Draco will fail…will you carry out the deed that the Dark Lord has ordered Draco to perform?" she finished.

Severus' heart hammered in his chest. He hoped in her emotional state, Narcissa didn't notice that his hands had broken out in a cold sweat. His hand switched slightly, he couldn't suppress it as the full implications of her request became clear. 'How could I possibly?' he thought. Narcissa's little plan was genius. He should have seen the checkmate coming. To refuse now would all but prove their suspicions. Albus had been clear, Severus' placement in Voldemort's inner circle was vital in protecting Lily's son, even more so then his post at Hogwarts. He hesitated for only a second. "I will." The final shimmering cord bound their hands and sealed the vow.

It was done. He wanted both Black sisters far away from him. He had to think. The vow changed everything. Severus' frustration and patience were almost pushed beyond breaking when Bellatrix lingered at the door after Narcissa had walked out into the dark night.

"Ah, Severus, that's a new scent for you, no? I can smell her on you like rotting meat. Is she a pretty little rabbit?" the insane witch hissed only for him to hear.

'Oh how many things I regret from my youth,' he thought with disgust. He was careful to keep the blank mask on his face, to maintain the cool indifference. If Bellatrix or - Merlin forbid - the Dark Lord himself should find out about Maya. No, it was imperative that Bellatrix believe any liaisons he had were meaningless.

"Perhaps, my dear Bella, but one is so easily replaced with another. I do tire of repetition."

Bellatrix let a great huff of air escape her in annoyance. "I don't remember you complaining of boredom. In fact, you were always up for a challenge in those days, though not as inventive as I'd hoped." Her maniacal dark brown eyes gleamed like a rabid dog's as she reached one long taloned hand toward his face, running the nail of her index finger along the bridge of his nose. It took all of his willpower to suppress the shudder of nausea that bubbled up inside him. He focused all of his energy on maintaining eye contact with her.

"Is she at least pureblood? Maybe it's been too long since you've had a worthy distraction."

"They provide all the distraction I need. They do what they're told without argument or question, know enough to keep their mouths shut, and disappear quietly when they've served their purpose. For a few galleons it's worth the price to be free of complications." He sneered. "I'm not a man that needs or desires attachments." He removed her hand from where it had come to rest on his arm and gently pushed her through the door, shutting it before she could respond.

Once the door was closed, he returned to his arm chair and poured a full glass of Elf wine, swallowing it in one go, until he felt sanitized from the horrid feel of her cold clammy touch. He sighed heavily. 'No amount of power from the Dark Lord could have been worth that,' he thought as he threw himself into the chair. He leaned his head back against the chair, eyes closed, long limp hair falling back from his pale face.

As he sat there, the sudden contrast between Bella's touch and Maya's came to his mind. No, there was no comparison. It was the difference between night and day. Again he found himself wishing he were back in his chambers at Hogwarts where he could feel her warmth next to him.

A knock on the door came not two minutes after the Black sisters left his porch. So Bella wanted to challenge him some more, did she! He gripped his wand tightly, gulped down a second glass of wine and slammed the delicate glass on the table. He stormed to the door and flung it open - but it wasn't Bellatrix or Narcissa. A woman with a sharp face and prominent cheekbones framed by shoulder length dingy blonde hair looked back at him with blue green eyes that looked almost like sea water in the candle light.

"Yes?" he ordered icily. Then he saw the woman smirk and he knew it was her. "What are you doing here?" he asked, voice lowered but with just as much irritation. He could feel his emotions from Bella and Narcissa's visit still churning inside him like storm clouds. He needed to think and she would only distract him. He needed to think of a way around the vow.

"Glad to see you too Professor." She assumed his lowered voice meant that he was not alone. Pettigrew was somewhere in the house.

"Leave now," he said coldly. He was disturbed by Bella's perceptiveness; she could smell Maya's scent, for Merlin's sake! If Bellatrix could sense her after more than two weeks apart, surely the Dark Lord could as well. If he hadn't detected it already, Bella would surely tell him. Snape would have to put some distance between himself and Maya if she was going to stay out of the Dark Lord's awareness. He would not be responsible for another woman's death if he could help it.

"I just wanted to -." At that moment the hidden door to the stairway opened. Pettigrew's squeak told her he got an eyeful of dirty blond hair from behind Severus's back.

Thinking quickly, Severus grabbed Maya roughly by the upper arm. Pettigrew was useless but not all together stupid. Severus' explanation for her arrival would have to be convincing. He would know she wasn't a muggle. The muggle repelling charms would have kept them all away. Pettigrew's smug expression gave Severus the perfect solution.

Maya looked between Snape and the rat-like man. The moment Snape grabbed her arm she thought she knew what he had in mind. Before he pulled her off the porch she muttered a non-verbal spell transfiguring jeans into the snug black leather slacks and taking her blouse down two sizes and three buttons.

Severus pulled her through the doorway. "Oi love! Don't forget I get me money upfront, just like last time," she said loud enough for Pettigrew to hear her. She saw the look of surprise on the man's pointy face.

"I'll be upstairs, Wormtail. Do I need to remind you not to disturb me?" Severus said lazily as he dragged Maya through the dusty sitting room lined with bookcases.

As she passed Pettigrew, his eyes gawked at the cleavage her open collar displayed. "No of course not Snape, but maybe when you're finished you could introduce me to your friend."

"Sorry mate," Maya shrugged. "Even I have standards." Maya knew the slap was coming and tried to rock back with it. Pettigrew didn't look as if he could pack much of a punch and she was right. She doubted it would sting for more than a few seconds. At least he hadn't been quick witted enough to use the metal hand that gleamed in the dim candlelight.

"Teach her some proper respect, Snape," Pettigrew whined as Severus pushed her through the hidden entrance and up the stairway beyond.

"Find your own entertainment, Wormtail." Snape closed the hidden entrance to the stairway. "And do not leave the house," he added before the bookcase shut in the man's face.

Maya let Snape push her up the steps and in the direction of a small and plainly decorated bedroom. A small wardrobe sat at one end of the room. A single bed and bedside table with a candle and book on its surface sat at the other end of the room. Once the door was slammed shut and locked, a muffliato charm ensured their Pettigrew wouldn't be eavesdropping. She moved to kiss him but flinched back at the sight of the murderous look on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Snape hissed, scowling black eyes bore into her as he let go of her arm.

"What do think I'm doing here?" Maya shot back her smile faltering then disappearing completely into a scowl of her own. "It's been over two weeks with no word. I wanted to see if you were still alive!"

"Well…you've seen me, I'm alive. Now leave!"

"What's wrong with you? Sev, what's going on?" Maya eyed him shrewdly. This change in him was more than being trapped with Pettigrew and the Death Eaters for two weeks.

"There is nothing wrong. I just don't have time to entertain needy witches who are turned on by dark marks. Now go before you get us both killed," he said, anger rising at her stubbornness.

"Needy? You son of a -" she growled back at him.

"What did you think was happening here? Did you envision a wedding and a picket fence? What would have given you the idea that there was anything more than fu-?"

The slap stung Maya's hand. A candlestick rocked on the nightstand and the windows rattled in their frames. Snape struggled to control his anger. "How dare you!" she spat, squaring her shoulders and pulling her small frame as tall and rigid as possible in an attempt to look him in the eye. "I've never assumed, never expected anything from you. You can walk away any time you like. I thought after being locked up, in a house that I know you despise - with the worm and Merlin knows who else - for over two weeks with no word that I should at least check to make sure you hadn't been left in a ditch to die."

A solitary thought flickered through the fog of anger in Severus' mind. 'Why can't you see that this is the best way I can protect you,' but then it was gone and all he could focus on was the cold fury seething through him.

"I never asked for your protection!"

For and instant Severus was stunned. She had broken through his mental shields and heard his thoughts! He was certain now that her presence was a distraction that would have deadly consequences for both of them. Severus stepped forward until he had to look down his long nose to see her face. To her credit, Maya did not flinch but stood her ground, glaring back into his onyx eyes, flames of rage shining in her eyes.

"I have managed just fine without your presence for sixteen years, I certainly don't need your help now. I can not think or concentrate with you constantly underfoot. This is not some fairytale romance, you dizzy cow. You're pathetic!"

"Fine, have it your way. You call me pathetic…I'm not the one dreaming about a dead woman." She turned and reached for the door. She felt his long fingers clamp down on her upper arm like a vice, spinning her to face him as he shoved her roughly against the wall of the small dingy bedroom.

"Do not ever talk about her again." His voice was the same deadly calm he had used with Nathaniel Sturbridge that night in Boston. 'How did she know about Lily?' The thought flew through his mind but he quickly pushed it away. "Get out," he said, opening the door and shoving her roughly through it, slamming the door in her face.

There was no sign of Pettigrew as Maya stormed down the narrow stairs and through the sitting room to the front door. She counted this as a blessing because in her fury she couldn't altogether say she wouldn't have killed the man on sight.

Once on the porch with the door shut behind her, Maya apparated straight to Tonks' flat above Zonko's Joke Shop. She couldn't go back to the dungeons, not after the things he'd just said to her. The word pathetic rang through her head over and over in his voice. 'I'm pathetic?' she fumed in her head as she stormed through Tonks' door.

As she disappeared with a loud crack the curtains on a second story bedroom closed. 'Infernal woman! At least she's out of my hair now,' Snape thought as he watched her vanish. He refused to acknowledge the small corner of his soul that seemed to ache at the sight of her disappearing figure.

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Tonks' head poked out into the hall from the bedroom in surprise at the sudden unexpected visitor. "Maya, what's-?" She didn't finish the question as Maya stormed past her and went straight for the loo. "Okay. When you gotta go, you gotta go," she said, confused as Maya slammed the bathroom door. Tonks could hear the shower turn on full blast and decided she wouldn't be getting an explanation anytime soon.

Maya let the hot water pound her body. Large droplets of hot water ran the length of her nose, eyelashes, and back as the water washed away the anger. Slowly she let herself cry. Not racking sobs but slow tears that matched the sadness in her heart. She would not let the world see her cry for him, to see that she had been a fool again. The strange part was that before this moment she would have said she wasn't even certain she had wanted a relationship. They certainly hadn't talked about their situation in any sort of definite terms, and even if they had agreed they had wanted a long term situation, there was still a war going on.

She stood still under the water until her fingers became wrinkled and white and the tears had stopped. She felt robotic as she shut off the tap and wrapped herself in a towel. Maya couldn't help but remember those days just after her injury when he had helped her so diligently. When she came out of the bathroom Tonks was seated on the couch. Maya joined her and unwrapped the towel from her hair, releasing her long curls.

"It looks like we're both single now," Maya announced darkly.

"What? Maya no way. That greasy git!" Tonks exclaimed. "If Sirius were here he'd tear him apart."

"But Sirius isn't here." Maya sighed deeply. "I'm fine, really, or I will be anyhow." Maya conjured two cups of tea and sipped gingerly. Little by little she told Tonks what had happened at Spinner's End.

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"An Unbreakable Vow," Dumbledore said, deep in thought. Dumbledore sat in the high-backed chair behind his large desk, which was overflowing with parchments and quills as he prepared for the start of a new term.

"I had no choice, Albus." Snape sighed in defeat from his place at the window, where he stood gazing out at the Great Lake. The sun shimmered on the water and suddenly he wished he was down there, leisurely strolling the lake's edge and not here discussing a plot to kill the Headmaster.

"No, no, my boy, you did the right thing. Obviously Voldemort means for Draco's task to be a punishment to Lucius. He either fails and is killed by Voldemort or is caught and spends his life in Azkaban."

"That's about the whole of it, yes. Bella hopes she can save her nephew and undermine me all in one go. So far her plan is working out perfectly."

"Perhaps, but this does give us an opportunity."

"An opportunity? Opportunity for what?"

"To save a young boy's soul. He trusts you, Severus. You can try to find out what he is planning so we can mitigate any harm to other students or teachers."

"What if he succeeds? What then? He'll spend the rest of his life in Azkaban, or worse, be given the dementors kiss."

"No, he must not succeed. My time is already limited." Dumbledore raised his injured wand hand. "My concern is for the boy. The damage to his soul could be irreparable. No, Severus. When the time comes, you must be the one to do it."

"And me? What about my soul?"

"I will be dead within the year, Severus. In any case, I believe we may be able to save you both. You have everything you need to heal your soul already."

"What?"

"I trust Miss Ladon has settled in?"

Severus bristled at the mention of Maya's name. "I'm sure Miss Ladon has made other living arrangements," he said stiffly.

"My boy, why are you always so willing to discount the most powerful forms of the magic you hold so dear?"

"Leave it, Albus. It's done." He did not meet Dumbledore's eyes; instead he returned his gaze to the lake.

"Very well. There is one other piece of business we have to discuss. As you know we again find ourselves one teacher short."

"Which lunatic have you hired this year?"

"While you were away, I was able to convince Horace Slughorn to return for the year."

"Slughorn? But Potion's is my -" He paused narrowing his eyes at Dumbledore. "So that is to be my pay off then? To finally give me the position I've wanted for sixteen years, only so I can become a murderer at the end of the term," Severus laughed bitterly.

"Think of it as a consolation, Severus, an apology."

Severus was silent but shook his head.

"I have appointed one other post for the term. I have asked Miss Ladon to serve as head of Security for the year. She will be working closely with the Auror detail that has been assigned to Hogwarts and the village. You two will be seeing a lot of each other. I suggest you find a way to put whatever disagreement you've had behind you or this could be a very long term."

"That is very unlikely." Severus suddenly had a blinding headache. "Voldemort has requested I stay with Pettigrew at Spinner's End until the start of term. You can reach me there if you need me." He turned and made his way to the door.

"Be careful, Severus."

"Have no fear, Albus. I'll keep myself alive long enough to get the job done." And with a slam of the door he was gone.