Pinch me is this real

I'm on a one way ticket, outta loserville

Now I'm off the social flat line

Things are so good that I'm

Taking down my Star Trek Shrine

And you're more than just my valentine

You're my ticket outta loserville

Tenten, Ino, and Karin entered Mikoto's Spa, and Ino was almost automatically glomped by a cheery, bubbly, young woman.

"Hello Ino darling!" Mikoto Uchiha herself cried, hugging the blonde so tightly that they began to sway.

"Mikoto-san?" Ino squeaked. "I can't breathe!" She gasped.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Mikoto released the girl, taking a step back and clasping her hand together. "So, what can I do for you today? Wait, don't you have school?" Mikoto wore a puzzled expression.

"Tennie here has a bit of a…issue…" Karin stated, setting her hand on Tenten's shoulder.

"Sasuke gave me this." Ino handed over the slip of paper to Sasuke's mother, and the onyx eyes glanced at it.

"Okay…" Mikoto nodded, serious for a split moment before she brightened up. "Is there anything special you'd like?" She inquired.

"Well…what do you do to girls who are suffering from boy problems?" Ino asked, biting her bottom lip in anxiety.

Mikoto gave a large grin. "That's a surprise." She grabbed all three girls, ushering them to a hall. "Now, I'll have my very best on you girls, after all, I'm wonderful friends with the Yamanaka's, and you girls are also my little Sasuke's friends. Go into this room. There will be three doors, in which each of you are to enter separately. Have fun!" Mikoto waved.

--

Tenten entered the first door, and found a large wet table, a woman with shoulder length auburn hair entered, purple stripes tattooed on either side cheek.

"Hello. I'm Rin, your therapist today. Tenten, right?" Rin smiled warmly as Tenten gave a small nod. "For your first treatment I'll be giving you a salt glow. It helps to hydrate your skin. I'll leave you to get undressed. There are some towels over on the wet table for you, where I'll be giving you the treatment."

--

Ino entered her own room. She glanced around, grinning at the wet table, and quickly throwing off her clothing before setting herself on the table and draping the cloths over her body appropriately. She glanced over at the door as a woman with long black hair entered.

"Hello Ino." The woman gave a smirk.

"Hey Kurenai-san." Ino grinned back.

"I was wondering when your next treatment would be." Kurenai stated, walking over to the blonde. "Shall we start with the salt glow?" She asked.

"Of course." Ino lay down on her stomach as Kurenai began rubbing a mixture of sea salt, oil, and a lemon aromatic onto her skin.

--

Karin entered her own room, and stripped herself of clothes, laying herself on the table and placing her strips of cloth over her body. She released a sigh as her therapist entered.

"Hello Karin-san, I'm Shizune, and I'll be your therapist."

--

Following each girl's salt glow was a Vichy shower, a special 6-headed shower parallel to the table. There was something wonderfully relaxing about getting a shower lying down. Then they got ready for a massage, all three in the same room.

"I'm glad you two dragged me into this." Tenten cuddled her robe around her body. "This is so relaxing." She heaved a light sigh.

"Tennie, this is just the beginning." Ino smirked, hopping onto a bench, and lying down.

Tenten beamed. "Sweet." She mimicked Ino's actions, this being the first time she had attended a spa. Karin followed their actions, removing her glasses and setting them on a stand nearby.

Karin and Tenten were surprised in the least when three men walked in, rather than their previous massage therapists. One had long black hair, and held an ironic resemblance to Sasuke, while one had long blonde hair that was freakishly similar to Ino, the last man had an angelic face, and wild red hair.

"Hello Ino, girls. I'm Itachi, this is Deidara, and Sasori…we'll be with you for this portion of your treatment." Itachi gave a small smirk as he headed to Ino. Deidara headed over to Tenten, and Sasori went over to Karin.

Ino closed her eyes in pleasure as Itachi rubbed some oils onto her bare back, and began massaging her.

--

Next up was manicures, facials, and pedicures. The girls dressed back into robes, fully relaxed, as they sauntered on over to a room with three large comfy chairs, Shizune, Kurenai, and Rin now waiting on them again.

Tenten heaved a deep sigh as she ignored the thick cream coated onto her face. She felt absolutely spoiled at the moment, and loved every second of it. While Rin gave her a nice French manicure, she sipped on a cold beverage, courtesy of Mikoto.

"See? Girl time rocks." Ino gave a small smirk, seeing as a grin would break her own mask, and sipped her own beverage through a slim straw. Karin gave a small chuckle in agreement.

"Tennie. You do know I intend to make Suigetsu rue today like he's never regretted anything before." Karin laughed diabolically.

"Don't hurt him…" Tenten flinched slightly, not really wanting Karin to severely hurt Suigetsu. "That's my job."

Karin laughed. "Iie. We shouldn't hurt him. We're going to glam you up tomorrow, and that alone should kill him." She forced back an involuntary grin, to prevent the mask from cracking.

Tenten laughed as well. "I like that idea."

Karin smirked, flattered. "Of course you do."

--

School had just let out, and Suigetsu immediately made his way to Shikamaru's locker. "What'd you do?" He asked, knowing Shikamaru was somehow behind the mysterious disappearance of Karin, Ino, and Tenten.

"Nani?" Shikamaru yawned, closing his locker and leaning against it. "What are you talking about…dobe?" He gave a small smirk at the last word.

"I know it was you who forged the passes. You did that last semester when we wanted to go ditch school and see that rock concert." Suigetsu reminded, narrowing his eyes at the genius. "Where'd they go?" he demanded.

"Girl pampering time." Shikamaru yawned again. He slung his backpack strap over one shoulder, too lazy to bother slinging it over both shoulders. He began to head out of the building, Suigetsu quickly on his tail.

"Where?" Suigetsu inquired, causing the genius to frown in frustration.

"I don't know." Shikamaru replied, desperately trying to ditch Suigetsu, but too lazy to actually put any effort into this plan.

Suigetsu merely growled at this statement, and walked away, leaving Shikamaru to make a mad dash to his car before Suigetsu found anything else to interrogate him with.

--

The girls were back at the large apartment Karin shared with her father, ready to drown themselves in ice cream and chick flicks. Karin had nearly tackled Ino in order to make sure the Rocky Road container was safely in her position, while Ino was merely searching for cookies and crème. Tenten gladly accepted the mint chocolate chip.

Another dilemma dawned upon the teenage girls. The movie. They searched Karin's wall of various DVD's arguing over what they should watch.

"Legally Blonde!" Ino whined.

"We watched that last time Ino!" Tenten protested. "Why not Batman Begins?"

"Oh please Tenten, that's such a guy movie." Ino rolled her eyes, snatching up Dreamgirls."

"But Dreamgirls is so...boring…" Tenten whined.

"Why don't we watch Mean Girls? It makes us all happy." Karin cried, plucking the DVD from the shelf.

"I like that idea." Karin's father agreed, holding up a hand from his newspaper. He in fact didn't care so much for the movie, however the girls were going to be watching it in the loft and he didn't enjoy listening to their fuss.

Tenten wrinkled her nose. "Mean girls is fine with me." She sighed reluctantly.

"Yeah…I'm cool with that too…" Ino shrugged.

"Let's go then. See you in the morning dad." Karin grabbed three spoons, while Tenten took the DVD from Karin, and the three girls lingered down the hall to Karin's room.

--

"SORA!" Suigetsu had eaten dinner with Sasuke and Naruto, and had now arrived home, clearly reminded of the incident prior to the girls ditching of school.

Sora poked her head from behind a wall. "Hai?" She blinked, with her eyes wide with fear.

"You touched my computer…didn't you?" He growled, walking towards her with an edge that seemed to intimidate.

"Kaa-san wanted me to dust…" Sora held up a Swifter. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Last night." Suigetsu reminded. His eyes narrowed as he literally heard the 'click' in her head as she placed the pieces together, and her eyes widened with realization and guilt. She bolted down the hall. "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PIG!" Suigetsu snapped, throwing his backpack onto the couch and taking off after her.

--

Tenten set down her container of ice cream as she leapt up, all hyped up on sugar, and danced around crazily, bounding past Karin and Ino, who watched her with amused expressions.

"What are you doing?" Karin asked, restraining a laugh that was collecting in her throat.

"Dancing." Tenten began krumping like there was no tomorrow.

"Whoa girl." Ino pressed her lips together to retain her laugh as well. "No sugar for you anymore."

Karin slid out her video cell, and began recording Tenten, who was unconscious to this act. Ino's eyes widened as Karin grinned, and finished up the video.

"That's so mean!" Ino hissed, snatching the phone from Karin.

"Tennie, if you don't stop scaring the shit out of me, I swear I will send a video of it to Suigetsu." Karin grinned, expecting her friend to instantly stop her dancing, and snatch up the phone, to erase the video.

"Go ahead." Tenten was in too good of a mood, and had forgotten of the earlier events, having been pampered and indulged in a whole bucket of ice cream while watching Mean Girls.

"Seriously?" Ino raised an eyebrow.

"Mhm." Tenten nodded, slowly easing away from krumping, and into cheer routines.

Ino began taking her own video of the Chinese, who was currently flipping all over the room in her old cheer shorts that were a tad too short, thus used as pajamas, and a camisole.

"Do you mind if we take a new one then? The old one is really bad…I mean…we don't want to begin torturing Suigetsu yet…" Ino grinned, again expecting a 'no' but was happily surprised when Tenten replied with a 'yeah, whatever'.

"Do you think she's like, high on sugar, and has no idea what she's doing?" Karin grinned, keeping her voice low as to not ruin the video.

"Yep." Ino nodded, turning the camera at her and Karin. "Hey Suigetsu!" She grinned. "You're probably drooling seeing Tennie over here like this."

"Or you could be scowling, wondering what the hell we were thinking when we sent you this!" Karin chirped.

Ino rolled her eyes, shoving Karin away. "Well…if you're a normal teenage guy…"

"Which you're not." Karin forced herself back into the picture.

"Be quiet." Ino giggled. "Then you're probably wondering why we're doing this to you. It's not to be nice. It's to say that the torturing has just begun." She grinned diabolically. She didn't notice Tenten sneaking up, until the brunette grabbed the cell and stared at the lens.

"What is this? Are you making a movie?" Tenten cocked her head at the lens.

"Yeah…" Ino frowned. "You knew that."

"Right…who's it to?" Tenten asked cheerily.

"Suigetsu…" Karin replied slowly, eyeing the girl oddly.

"Oh…hey Suigetsu…" Tenten spoke in a seductive tone, before breaking into a giggle fit and handing the cell over to Ino.

"Okay, bye!" Ino made a 'Sai smile' which she named after a kid at school who always dished out fake smiles. She finished the video and began to send it before realization snapped into Tenten's mind. Just as it had sent, Tenten began freaking out. Her sugar rush was out of phase one, or as Ino herself called it, the 'unconscious' stage, and into phase two, which she called: flashbacks of everything that happened during phase one.

Tenten stared at Ino. "Please tell me I was just asleep and had a crazy crack dream." She begged, eyes pleading.

"We forgot about your freaky sugar rush stages…." Ino groaned, slapping her forehead.

"Dammit…" Karin cussed, staring at the cell.

--

Suigetsu's phone buzzed and he glanced at it, as it alerted him of a video message from Karin. He hit play.

--

"Nooo. No no no no no." Tenten moaned. "This isn't happening." She flung back onto Karin's bed.

"Don't worry…." Karin soothed. "It was our entire fault. I swear. I will fix this." She opened her window.

"Where are you going?" Ino stared at Karin like the crazy woman she was.

"To kill that boy before he finds the forward button." Karin growled.

--

Suigetsu was still engaged in the video when he heard an annoying rapping sound at his window. It scared him to say in the least when he looked up to see the intimidating redhead behind the glass. She obviously wanted in.

He walked over, phone in hand, video still playing and opened the door slightly. "What do you wa-HEY!" She had reached over and grabbed his cell, then took off running.

"Get back here Karin!" Suigetsu climbed out the window and took off after her.

--

Tenten cocked her head as she heard an oddly familiar yell, and poked her head out of the window. She saw Karin running around to the large tree, holding a small object, and Suigetsu on her tail.

Karin scrambled to climb the tree, sticking the cell in her shirt secured between her chest and bra. She made it a few branches up before Suigetsu caught her leg.

"Tennie, catch!" Karin cried, latching onto the branch with one hand and grabbing the cell with another, tossing it up to Tenten.

Tenten immediately strained out to catch the object, and erased the message. She heaved as sigh of relief. "Done!" She cried, chucking the cell back at Suigetsu, who caught the cell.

"What the hell?!" Suigetsu growled.

"Shut up, you condescending jerk." Tenten rolled her eyes. "C'mon Karin." She held out her hand as Karin kicked herself free from Suigetsu, and leapt into Tenten's hands, as her friend pulled her into the room.

--THE NEXT MORNING--

"Rise and shine Tennie! We got some work to do!" Karin poked Tenten in the ribs with her toes.

"Iie." Tenten shook her head, refusing to move an inch.

--A FEW HOURS LATER--

Suigetsu leaned against his locker, yawning as Naruto rambled on about some kind of instant ramen they now had on sale at Vons. He couldn't help but think about Tenten and what she had said. The two words 'condescending' and 'jerk' rang in his ears, and he yearned to find out if she actually meant it, or had just said it in the spur of the moment.

"Oh god." Shikamaru and Sasuke approached Suigetsu.

"What?" Suigetsu demanded.

"My god." Sasuke grinned, before walking off to catch up with Sakura.

"Wow…" Shikamaru grinned, making a 180 and leaning against the locker as well.

"What?" Suigetsu was getting antsy.

"Look." Shikamaru pointed at three girls strutting down the hall way. The first two were easily labeled as Ino and Karin. But the third? That couldn't be Tenten. That shouldn't be Tenten. This girl's hair was flat ironed, she wore large silver hoop earrings, eyeliner and mascara, lip gloss, an off the shoulder ¾ sleeved green sweater, brown fingerless gloves, brown boots that reached her knees with some green knee socks poking out of it. And to reveal long legs, she wore a jean mini skirt. What the hell had Ino and Karin done to Tenten?!

"Hey…you don't care if I ask her out…do you?" Naruto asked, grinning as he stared at Tenten.

--

Chibi: WHOO! Two updates in one day (obviously the other update was for a different story) So…leave a review! Thanks a lot!