Not Only You and Me
CHAPTER THREE
Things seem normal at school the next day, Santana and Brittany have early morning Cheerios practice and they don't really get a chance to talk, Sue's working them too hard. They split up at their lockers, and when Santana sees Brittany talking to Finn and Rachel while she's walking to her first class she thinks it's weird because a) it's Finn and Rachel, and b) Brittany changed out of her cheerios uniform and that is strictly against Sue's rules. Then she turns the corner and sees Brittany again, leaning up against the lockers and giggling at something Puck said.
Shit. Shit, shit shit. Santana whirls around and runs back through the hallways, every blond catching her eye. Finally she finds the blond she's been looking for, Brittany in her cheerios uniform, coming out of the girl's room.
"Britt!" she shrieks, and if she sounds a little hysterical, it's only because she is.
Brittany startles, and looks at her with wide eyes. "Hi! What?"
"You brought the clones," Santana hisses, looking around to make sure nobody was listening. "You brought them to school, what were you thinking?"
"They were bored," Brittany shrugs, like that's normal. "Plus, I thought they could, like, go to my classes for me. That's cool."
"But, but," Santana stutters, and then gets herself together. "Somebody is going to notice, Britts, I thought we were keeping this a secret."
Brittany just smiles at her fondly. "Really, San?" she asks. "You think people will notice if I'm doing something weird?"
And...well. Santana doesn't really have anything to say to that.
"I have it all worked out!" Brittany says brightly. "I went to cheerios practice this morning, obviously, and they're going to go to all my classes, and I'll go to glee at the end of the day! And they're still wearing their colors, and I told them to answer to "Brittany" and that if anybody gives them weird looks then they're probably doing things right, because I get weird looks all the time! Oh, and I drew them maps in case they get lost, AND I made them little cards with important stuff on it, like which girls we don't like and the number for 911 in case something bad happens."
Santana blinks. This is the most prepared Brittany's been for anything, probably ever. She almost feels a little bad for doubting her.
"Wow," Brittany sighs. "That was a lot of talking. I think I'm going to go nap in the nurse's office now. See you at lunch!"
Before Santana can respond, the blond whirls away and heads down the hallway.
Santana reluctantly attends all her morning classes, none of which are with Brittany. It's driving her crazy, thinking about what the clones could be getting up to. There's access to like, chemicals and shit in the science lab, for gods sake, and she doesn't feel like escaping an explosion today. By third period, she can't take it anymore. She tells Mr. Green she's going to the bathroom, and leaves with out waiting for a hall pass. Like anybody would stop her in the hall way, hello, she's Santana Lopez.
Her first stop is Brittany's class, she has art third period, so that shouldn't be too much of a train wreck. She peers in the window in the classroom door, and Red Brittany is there, coloring. Oh, hey, that actually makes a lot of sense, and nobody's on fire or anything.
Alright, so, next stop. Santana doesn't really know where to look next. Four other Brittany clones are in the school somewhere, where would they go? She wanders the hallways aimlessly, peeking in empty classrooms, but things seem strangely...normal. (Well, there is a bright pink bra hung on the door knob of the Teacher's Lounge, but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with Brittany...right? Santana can't quite bring herself to check inside.) She wanders outside, to check under the bleachers, and behind the school where her and Brittany sometimes hang out when they're skipping class, but no luck. She circles around and is walking back through the parking lot when something catches her eye. A familiar blond ponytail, attached to a familiar blond. And unfortunately, that blond is with Puck, in his truck, and they are definitely not talking. Santana approaches cautiously, then crouches down behind a car so nobody spots her. Puck's shirtless, Brittany's shirtless, they're pressed together in the back seat right here in the parking lot where anybody could see.
Santana stands up and backs away slowly, breaking into a run when she's far enough away from the truck. By the time she reaches the school's front doors, she realizes she's started to cry. So stupid, she mutters to herself, brushing the tears away angrily, then goes to the bathroom and locks herself in a stall to sob hysterically.
She flips the toilet lid down and sits in the stall, feeling angry and stupid and sorry for herself, like hello, that wasn't even her Brittany, she knows that. (Right? No, of course, she knows Brittany would never.) But it sucks major balls anyway. The bell rings, signalling the end of the period, and Santana ignores it. Fuck, she left all her stuff in Mr. Green's classroom, she'll have to go get it eventually. She stays in the bathroom stall while some girls come in to touch up their make up – it's not like she's hiding, she's just...avoiding. Everything.
Then one of the girls at the mirror speaks up. "Did you see Brittany Pierce in the hallway?" she asks her friend. The other girl scoffs. "I know, what a slut."
Something in Santana snaps. She bangs the stall door open, and strides out, fully aware that her mascara is running and she probably has a serious case of crazyface. It doesn't even matter right now. "Listen up, whores," she snarls, and then realizes she has nothing else to say. It's not like this is the first time Brittany has been called a slut, Santana and Brittany hear that all the time, really. "Slut" is pretty much synonymous with "Cheerio", Quinn being the exception to the rule. And Brittany's pretty proud of her perfect record. But, the point is, Santana is mad and these bitches are stupid, so. Santana punches one of them in the face and yells "Yeah, you best run!" at the other girl as she races out of the bathroom, abandoning her friend with the bloody nose.
Strangely, the punching actually makes Santana feel a lot better. She washes her hands at the sink and fixes up her makeup, pulls her ponytail tight and smooths down her Cheerios uniform. All she has to do is make it through the day without killing anybody, no problem. Hopefully, that means that if Puck knows what's good for him, he'll stay faraway from her.
The next time she sees Brittany – or well, not Brittany – it's in Geography class, one of the only classes they have together. Purple Brittany wanders in and sits down beside her, and things seem to be going pretty well. Teachers usually know not to call on Brittany, at least not if they want to spend twenty minutes answering questions that are usually notrelated to the class. Plus, the teachers at McKinley seem so bored with their jobs, Santana wonders why she thought any of them would notice at all. Halfway through class, Mrs. Hagberg leaves to go make some photocopies and Purple Brittany turns to her.
"Today has been really fun," she whispers.
Sure, if fun now means stressful. "That's great for you," Santana hisses back. Was she the one making out with Puck? Santana can't tell. Should she be mad on principle, just in case? She's thinking about asking about it when Mandi, a Cheerio sitting at the desk in front of them, turns around.
"OMG Brittany!" she exclaims. "That dress is sooo cute, where did you get it?"
There's a pause as Purple Brittany looks down at the dress. Santana considers answering for her, but she's a little curious herself. She was there when Britt bought that dress, but does the clone have those same memories? Does she remember shopping with Santana that day during summer vacation? More importantly, does she remember making out in the changing room a little bit, Santana smoothing the dress down Brittany's side and whispering "I love that color on you," as Brittany giggled and batted her hands away. Santana blushes, pushing those thoughts away. But Purple Brittany just shrugs and says, "From the dryer?"
Santana laughs, and tries to cover it up by coughing. Mandi looks confused.
Luckily, Mrs. Hagberg comes back, putting an end to any more questions.
As Mandi turns back around, Purple Brittany nudges Santana's side and whispers, "Was that okay? I didn't know what to say."
"Yeah," Santana whispers back. "That was good." Then – fuck it, she has to know – "Have you seen Puck today?"
Purple Brittany looks confused. "No, why?"
Santana shakes her head, whispering "forget it." Purple Brittany is her favorite clone, she decides, sliding her paper across the desk so the clone can copy her answers.
By the end of the day, the rumor mill is exploding. The center of all rumors is clearly Brittany: Brittany was seen sneaking into the boys locker room. Brittany was hanging out with Mr. Kidney the janitor instead of being in class fourth period. More than one girl was seen crying because Brittany was making out with their boyfriend. Brittany was trying to free all the frogs from the science lab, again. An interesting mural of ponies running through a field was drawn on the girls room wall; Brittany was seen wandering around with some markers. A mysterious fire was set under the bleachers, but really, that could've been any number of McKinley students. Bored teenagers in Ohio were strangely prone to setting fires.
Santana takes all of that in stride, and reminds herself she doesn't have time to punch every person who's talking about Brittany. Her hand couldn't take it, anyway, her knuckles are already looking a little bruised from that girl's face earlier.
Brittany meets her in glee club at the end of the day. They sit in the back, like usual, and Santana catches Brittany up on the day in hushed tones while Mr. Schue talks about something up at the front. She doesn't mention catching Puck and one of the clones, but she does note that Puck is shooting her fearful glances. Damn right, he should be scared. She glares at him and feels a little better when he turns bright red and quickly looks away from her eyes.
There's a lull in the group discussion and Santana looks up to notice Rachel staring at them strangely. "Brittany, how many times have you changed today? I swear, every time I see you you're wearing a different outfit."
Everybody turns in their chairs to look at them. Brittany opens her mouth and Santana feels a wave of panic. Brittany is pretty much incapable of lying, she's going to blow it for sure. Santana grabs her hand quickly to shut her up and jumps in. "She's practicing," she tells Rachel, making sure to sound like it should be obvious, "for if she ever has to host the Music Video Awards." That sounds pretty believable, something Brittany would do.
Rachel definitely buys it, nodding and leaning over to Kurt. "That's a really good idea," she hisses, and god, Santana can hear her whisper from the back of the choir room. "Quick costume changes are vital to our Broadway careers, not to mention all the opportunities we'll get afterwards."
Mr. Schue calls for their attention, and everybody looks back to the front of the room. Santana breathes a sigh of relief, and when Brittany leans in a little closer to whisper "thanks, San," Santana notices that they're still holding hands. She stares down at their tangled fingers until Mr. Schue excuses them for the day.
NEXT CHAPTER: A performance in glee club! Because what's the point of clones if you can't form an awesome girl pop group, seriously.
