Year Three


He hated staff meetings.

Actually, no, he didn't just hate them, he loathed them. Not only was he forced to attend them, but he had to actively listen to whatever was being said with at least feigned interest. Or, well, as interested as anyone expected him to look. Which unfortunately meant keeping his eyes open.

He might have a decent sleep schedule if he were just allowed to nap during these ridiculous meet-ups.

But, these meetings also meant he had to be… polite. No eye-rolling, no scoffing, no sneering, no glaring. Dumbledore expected him to just sit there for hours on end and do absolutely nothing. Suppose that is the price you pay for freedom, he grumbled to himself.

So, there he sat, in the far corner of the room, observing but not speaking. It reminded him of his younger days when he was a student. He could usually be found watching the going ons of others, but never engaging. He hadn't truly changed that much from his childhood. Perhaps more bitter, and cruel, but still quiet, still brooding.

They were discussing the changes to the curriculum, especially with the two new additions to the staff. Hagrid would be taking over the role of Care of Magical Creatures which Antonin personally thought he was born to do. The giant man always had a way with the creatures of the forest. He was a good fit for the role.

And then there was Lupin. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Antonin remembered him. He had been four years ahead of him in school, but Antonin remembered him. He had been a part of the first Order of the Phoenix; Dumbledore's secret society of witches and wizards against the Dark Lord. He himself had only learned about it after signing over the rest of his life to the old man.

Lupin had also been close friends with the escaped Sirius Black.

Antonin remembered that one better. He had often dealt with his younger brother, Regulus. Vladimir Dolohov had always wanted a close relationship with members of the Sacred Twenty-Eight and had tried to drag his only son into it. That included being "friendly" with their children, attempting to make a name for himself, and, oh yes, joining the Dark Lord.

And he had done just as he had been told. Antonin had once called many from the English pureblood society "friends", most of them being in his own House. Lucius Malfoy had enjoyed acting as a mentor to the Russian pureblood, the Carrow twins were constantly following him around, Nott and Yaxley lived with him for seven years, even little Barty Crouch Jr had inspired to be him at one point or another.

It had gotten him through school, having these influential "friends". And he had made a name for himself. Top of his year, eight out of ten Outstandings on his N.E.W.T's. A Prefect for three years. A well-known tutor that even professors would recommend to their struggling students. Many had known who he was just by name even before he graduated.

Then he immediately joined the Dark Lord in the summer of '74 and his name had developed a different sort of connotation. But it made his father proud and that was all a pureblood son lived to do. Make their father's happy, marry young, and have an heir of their own. The cycle would never deter.

Unless, of course, you run away from your "responsibilities" and became a bloody professor. Then your father dies ashamed and you don't marry out of guilt and obviously sire no children. Antonin leaned his head back against the chair he was resting in. He hadn't just stopped the damned wheel; he had broken it.

But, now he had to deal with not only the usual glares from Snape but also the suspicious glances from Lupin. The man was far too concerned about the dark wizard being a professor. Then again, with the rumors stacked against him, Antonin didn't blame him. He'd be cautious as well. But he was also a Slytherin and had good reason to be.

The rumors… He'd almost forgotten about them all. Never had he paid much mind to them.

Some of them were factually accurate. Not all, but some. He'd never tell anyone about those that were true, but could at least admit to himself that he wasn't as innocent as he would like to be. Not that he had much of a say in what had transpired anyways. He hadn't been calling the shots now had he?

But he would have been persecuted, ostracized, for what he had done. And so, he took his mother's advice for once in his pathetic life and run. But not overseas like he should have. No, he ran straight to his old Headmaster who had once promised him sanctuary should he ever need it. Shame he hadn't told him then that it would also include giving up any hope of a future.

Antonin knew he shouldn't complain, that it could have been so much worse if Dumbledore hadn't intervened on his behalf. But it didn't stop him from being bitter over it.

Maybe Azkaban would have been preferable to this…

Lost in his thoughts, he almost missed the newest addition to the staff comment on what had occurred inside of his train compartment on the way to the school.

"The Dementor tried to kiss Potter?" McGonagall shrieked. "Albus, I told you sanctioning them around the school was a terrible idea!"

"Now, now Minerva, you know that was the Ministry's decision, I had little say in the matter. They are worried about Sirius Black coming after Harry and want to make sure that if he does just that, he'll be properly apprehended." Killed, more like it. Or kissed. Antonin silently wondered which was worse; death or a life without a soul.

"Potter could have died if Remus had not been in the compartment with him, Albus! Miss Granger may have known of the Patronus Charm but she is too young to be able to properly produce one-" Granger? Antonin perked up slightly at the mention of the little witch. Was she there as well? Of course she would be, Potter had been there. His mouth opened and he heard his own voice before his mind could catch up with his pounding chest.

"Is Miss Granger alright?" Several shocked and curious looks were suddenly sent his way and Antonin cursed himself for his own stupidity.

"She was fine when I left the compartment," Lupin answered politely, still staring at the older wizard with something between surprise and nervousness. Antonin nodded his head once before averting his own gaze back to the Headmaster. Damn that old man and his knowing smile. He can't know, I don't even know.

So he found his mind occupied more than usual with Hermione Granger. So he actually cared about her wellbeing. So he had bloody missed her. He wasn't hurting anybody and it wasn't completely inappropriate. He wasn't acting inappropriate either. It was just his… feelings…

Merlin that sounds pathetic.

Antonin wanted to visibly cringe at his thoughts. Since when was he brought down to such nonsense? She was just a child, only thirteen. And he wasn't prone to such emotions. Yes, he had loved and cared for his mother, but no others. He hadn't even cared much for his supposed friends. More like, if they had died… oh well.

But this girl… She defied his own prided logic. There was no rational reason why he should be reacting the way he has been. There is no reason for him to even think twice about her unless she had written something over his expectations, which was usual… Oh fuck, alright, it was every bloody essay but that just meant she was an outstanding student.

More than outstanding really, she was probably the best student he had.

Okay, she is the best student he has.

Or has ever had.

It didn't mean anything.

Who are you kidding you idiotic old man, his inner thoughts chastised.

Antonin made sure no one was looking in his direction before covering his grimacing jaw with one of his hands. It may have looked as though he were yawning, but truthfully, he was just angry again. Confused, but not enough so to get rid of the rage pounding in his veins. But if anyone paid close attention, they could have easily had seen how tense he was. And the look in his eye was nothing cheerful.

If he didn't know any better, he might have thought someone had slipped him small doses of Amortentia laced with Hermione Granger's hair. But unfortunately he did know better, so he was left with the knowledge that he had some bizarre fixation with the girl and no explanation.

Fuck my life.

"And now onto Quidditch!"

And fuck these meetings.


She was alone again.

And all because of a broomstick! A ruddy broomstick! They didn't know who sent it and with an escaped convict on the loose that Harry had been warned about, she knew it couldn't be trusted outright. But that decision had made her Public Enemy #1 with the boys and most of her House as a result.

She wouldn't have minded as much if it had just lasted an hour or maybe even a day. But it had been six days, eight hours, and fifty-three minutes… Much longer than she had estimated.

No one would even look at her, let alone talk to her. If they did, it was just to glare at her. It was the beginning of her first year all over again. Except even Professor Dolohov had been distancing himself as well. She had stayed after class one day to ask him a question and he had practically snapped at her to read a recommended book. Yes, the book had the answer in it, but he could've just said so himself! Or at least been nicer about it…

Maybe that was just it, she missed him being nice. Godric knew it wasn't often. But she had grown used to it in a way. Especially since it was usually directed towards her. She had thought that, maybe, possibly, she was… special…

Not special like when she was told she was a witch and different from Muggles like her parents, but special as in the fact that she thought he liked her. Or respected her intelligence. He had always treated her more maturely than her fellow classmates; Often asking her the more advanced questions or in moments like the staircase, allowing her to solve the problem on her own. She never felt much like a child in his presence.

And she missed him. She missed the rare times when his lips were turn up at some nonsense happening around him. She missed the way his eyes would lock onto something if he had previously been lost in thought. She missed the soft way he would speak to her. She just missed his attention in general. But especially now…

How long would she last this time? She didn't believe she was in the wrong and had to apologize but maybe that was precisely what she had to do… Sometimes keeping friends meant giving up a little bit of pride, didn't it?

Sighing lightly, Hermione continued her silent reading of the law book she had purposely sought out. The table was full of them but it didn't look like this particular one was going to hold the answers she needed. Well, that Hagrid and Buckbeak needed. That was the sole reason she was doing this anyways.

They needed her and it wasn't right that Malfoy could just get away with this. It was his own obnoxious fault anyways.

After she had exhausted the last textbook she had found, Hermione stood achingly from the seat she had inhabited for the past few days and went to return the books to their proper places. Thirteen different tomes and not a single one possessed much on court cases involving magical creatures. At least not the ones that had won the case.

Done to the last book, she turned to go down the aisle she needed before colliding with a solid, warm barrier. Sandalwood, her mind registered before she stepped back and saw that she had run into her history professor.

"Excuse me, professor…" she mumbled, staring at the floor. She was afraid that he would continue with his cold behavior and snap at her. Or worse, take points. But he did neither, in fact, he didn't even say anything. He just stared at her, though she didn't raise hers to meet his.

She watched one his arms extend and take the book from her arm. He seemed to examine it for a moment before his low voice reached her ears, "Why do you need to know about the Laws of Magical Creatures, Critters, and Cretins, Miss Granger?"

"Research, sir."

"For?"

She swallowed thickly before responding, "Hagrid, sir."

Professor Dolohov was quiet. But she could still feel his eyes on her. Slowly, she began to lift her own up, taking in the burgundy teaching robes, stubble covered neck and jaw, straight nose, and dark hair and eyes. Those eyes were thoughtful as they met hers.

"I have a few books in my office you might find useful," he offered, although instead of being ecstatic like she wanted to be, she was just conflicted. Her eyebrows furrowing before,

"But sir, I thought you were upset with me as well."

One of his eyebrows rose as he asked, "Why would I be upset with you, Miss Granger?"

"The broomstick…"

"What broomstick?" Did he really not know? Hermione frowned slightly, still confused by his perplexed expression. Everyone knew and everyone was upset with her over it… Even Professor McGonagall, though she tried not to show it.

"The Firebolt that came for Harry- Professor, everyone has been upset with me over it because they think I've done something horrendous or cost us the Cup or Quidditch in general!"

She heard something that sounded like a snort of amusement come from the usually stoic man, "Miss Granger, I could care less about a broomstick or the Cup or even Quidditch. Now, did you want to take a look at those books or not?"

"Yes sir…" She responded, slightly dazed. Following him from the library, Hermione couldn't help but think of how nice it was that he was speaking to her again. And now she would get to see his office and he would let her see his personal books and it was all just so very exciting.

When they reached his classroom, he opened the door for her and walked in behind her. She was acutely aware of his presence. Something about the man just stuck with her. It was like a comforting aura. Some place she was safe. And she did feel safe with her professor.

Walking into his office took Hermione's breath away.

Huge shelves of books covered most of the walls, filled to the brim with various sizes of tomes. His desk was backed into a corner, making way for a huge comfy looking couch and an arm chair in the direct middle. His office desk, unlike his classroom one had personal items on top of it. Picture frames that Hermione couldn't see from here, a familiar yet interesting choice of Newton's cradle, and a coffee mug that read 'I Turn Coffee into Education'.

Hermione tried to stifle her giggles, but couldn't stop them in time to be unnoticed. Professor Dolohov followed her line of sight until he too spotted the mug and he shook his head before walking over to a bookshelf, muttering something about his mother.

Maybe it was a gift from her. Hermione thought it was incredibly cute if it was.

Professor Dolohov came back with two normal looking books in one arm. "Take a seat wherever," he told her before planting himself in the arm chair. Hermione sat in the middle of the couch facing him, a coffee table being the only thing to separate them. He handed her the top book before leaning back in his seat to begin reading his own.

So… she was allowed to just sit in his office and read? Gazing down at the title of the book, she was surprised to see that it was indeed a magical law book, but most of it was, obviously, the theory of the laws. Given that she was in the Theory professor's office, it made perfect sense. She flipped to the Table of Content and found a chapter dedicated completely to magical creatures.

The next hour was spent in companionable silence. Neither felt the urge to speak as both were completely engaged with their respective books. Hermione was learning more from this single chapter than she had in the thirteen books she had pulled from the library. Probably because these were actually theories, which was what she needed. All the other books just included cases that had lost because that's typically what happened. No one cared to find a different solution, they just accepted what they believed to be true.

But hippogriffs were not mindless creatures. They were prideful, majestic, and intelligent beings. They had feelings and Malfoy only got hurt because he had hurt Buckbeak's.

She was pulled from her thoughts by her professor's voice when he asked, "Would you like some tea, Miss Granger?" She looked up from her book and gave him a quick nod.

With a flick of his wand, there was a cup of steaming tea on the table in front of her and levitating jars of sugar and cream. She spooned a bit of cream in and added two sugars before looking up to observe her professor add four sugars. He noticed her curious gaze and looked uncharacteristically abashed for a moment before going back to his book. So Professor Dolohov enjoyed sugar… at least in his tea. Hermione didn't know why but she thoroughly delighted in learning new things about the man.

Maybe because he was so interesting. A pureblood Slytherin but completely unbiased. Opposite of the only other examples which was Professor Snape and the rest of his House. He was normally quiet and composed, well-mannered for the most part, and very private. And intelligent; quite so. It was obvious in the way he taught. He seemed so natural at it because he knew what he was talking about.

He inspired his students to learn more about what he was speaking of. That was another amazing thing about Professor Dolohov; he didn't give you all the answers and instead inspired you to seek them out for yourself. Hermione knew for a fact that more students visited the library for those reasons than just homework in general.

And he cared about it. He enjoyed talking about the subjects. Even though it was hard to notice. Beneath his hard exterior, Hermione secretly thought he was actually a big softie.

She just wished he would open up a bit more. She wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling. A man like him had to be filled to the brim with knowledge and experience and complex thoughts. To be inside his mind for just an hour would be a worthwhile experience. For her, at least.

"Have you found anything interesting yet?" She heard him ask her. Looking up from the book, she met his gaze and smiled slightly.

"Yes, sir. This chapter on magical creature laws has been more helpful than any of the books I tried finding answers for in the library." She saw his face contort slightly into the expression she came to realize was a pleased look, before he responded,

"I'm glad. I had hoped it would. Laws can be tricky, especially when you're on the defending side…" His voice seemed to trail off and Hermione wished for that hour at this exact moment. What was happening inside that intricate mind of his? Did he have experience in a courtroom setting? Had he ever had to defend someone or… be defended?

Why was this man such a mystery to her? She wanted to know all of his secrets. Every single one of them.

"The theories will help, professor. I know it probably hasn't been done before, but I'm certain that I can help Hagrid win the case."

"I'm sure if anyone can, it'll be you, Miss Granger…" She preened under his compliment and continued to smile up at him. He really was a lovely man. Especially when his eyes softened, like they were doing now. Still intense, but warmer. He looked ten years younger when he did so. Even though she had no idea how old he actually was.

Maybe she should ask?

And ruin a perfectly fine moment? Not right now.


Sirius Black was innocent.

Ron's rat was actually Peter Pettigrew.

Professor Lupin was a werewolf.

And tonight was a full moon.

Hermione knew that time was a difficult concept, but for the majority of the year, she had made it work. The Time Turner Professor Dumbledore and McGonagall had entrusted her with was useful and she had made her busy schedule work.

But now that life was got even more complicated, Hermione had to take Harry back in time with her to save his newfound godfather. And Buckbeak.

After Hagrid had lost his case, Hermione hadn't even gone straight to tell Ron and Harry like she thought she should. No, she followed her gut instinct and went straight to the third floor. Professor Dolohov had been in his office when she entered at his command, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

He had been understanding, comforting, though she knew he must have been uncomfortable. He had offered her tea again and sat next to her on the couch, letting her browse through a few of his more advanced theory books and answering any questions she had. They didn't talk about what happened, but she had the feeling that he knew. He was very intuitive like that.

So he distracted her.

And when it was finally time for her to go confront her friends over what had happened, he had escorted her to Gryffindor Tower. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to. He even walked slowly so that they could continue speaking as they walked, drawing out the inevitable. Hermione had wanted to hug him and thank him profusely for everything that he's done for her, but she didn't think he'd appreciate that in the moment.

She was still grateful that she could go to him when upset. He could have turned her away and sent her to her Head of House or even given her a calming drought and sent her on her way, but he didn't. He had invited her in and comforted her in his own unique way. It didn't even feel as distant as it might have looked. It was just how the older wizard was. But she felt a deeper connection with him that made up for the physical distance.

It was more likely a mental connection, she thought. That or… emotional, perhaps?

Whatever it was, Hermione was just glad that she shared it with her professor.

But now she and Harry were crouching, unseen by anyone else, watching the events they had already witnessed run through again. The moon was just beginning to peak out from behind the clouds as Professor Lupin began to change.

Watching it once had been hard enough but a second time almost made her soft heart break. The tattered looking wizard had reminded her fiercely of Professor Dolohov when they had first met on the train. Misunderstood, shrouded in mystery, with a strange aura about him. He was also a kind man as well. More open about it than the dark wizard but still just as kind.

Though she still preferred her professor to the Defense one.

After the transformation was complete and Professor Lupin had thrown off Sirius' Animagus form and attacked Professor Snape, Hermione cupped her mouth and left loose several loud wolf calls; distracting the werewolf from her and her friends. Only then did Harry remind her that now the creature was heading straight for them.

She didn't even have time to think when a strong arm wrapped around her standing waist. She felt herself get yanked back and saw that a hand on Harry's arm was pulling him in the same motion. They were ushered behind a tree and both stood with their backs to a clothed chest. She met Harry's eye before cringing when Professor Lupin raced past them. The arm still around her waist tightened slightly and she leaned into the embrace.

Harry pulled away from the tree and looked to make sure that Lupin had gone far enough before turning to look back at Hermione and their protector. His eyes widened slightly and Hermione turned her head, looking up at the stubbled jaw of the familiar Theory professor.

"Professor…" She whispered, not wanting to attract the attention of the roaming werewolf again. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye before raising a finger to his lips, behooving her to remain silent. He pushed off from the tree, his arm going from her waist to her shoulder as he started through the forest. Harry kept a steady pace with them, choosing to remain close to their professor as well.

"Sirius… We have to get to the pond, professor," she could hear Harry whisper furiously to the older man. And surprisingly, he nodded silently, continuing their brisk pace until they reached the tree line outside of the forest's pond. Directly across the water from them was an unconscious Sirius and a struggling Harry with multiple dementors swarming around them.

"It was me…" Their Harry muttered, staring at the scene unfolding as he came to the conclusion that it hadn't been his dad that he had saw earlier, but himself. "I cast the patronus…" Professor Dolohov didn't seem to be confused, much to Hermione's surprise. Especially since he could clearly see that there were two Harry's. What did he know, she wondered.

Instead he lowly responded, "Then do so, Mr. Potter." The emerald eyed boy nodded once before pulling out his wand and raising it the scene in front of them. His incantation echoed around them and a burst of silver light shot from the tip of his wand. A pure white stag appeared and charged the dementors, scattering them away from the now two unconscious figures.

"Amazing Harry…" Hermione breathed out, completely shocked by the boy's fully corporal patronus charm. Curiosity got the better of her when she whispered again, "Can you produce a patronus, sir?"

She thought perhaps he wouldn't answer when several seconds passed by, until she caught the unmistakable voice whisper back to her, "Yes." She smiled at the knowledge that the man at least had enough happiness in his life to be able to produce the charm. His eyes met hers before he averted them and turned to walk back into the woods.

"Come along, Mr. Potter. You two aren't finished tonight." Hermione frowned at his words. What did her professor know exactly? Surely he must have known about the Time Turner, but did he specifically know what they were doing tonight?

The three of them continued back into the forest when Harry suddenly stopped and gripped onto her forearm, causing her to pause as well. Professor Dolohov looked back at them in slight annoyance, "What is it Potter?" He asked gruffly.

Harry's eyes didn't blink as he continued staring at something off to the side of their professor. Both he and Hermione turned to follow his gaze and saw the hunched over figure of Professor Lupin's werewolf form begin righting itself, staring straight at them as it did. Hermione's breath caught in her throat as the creature took a step towards them.

But she noticed her professor's hand go for his pocket as his eyes narrowed in the werewolf's direction. And then she suddenly felt the suffocating force of something swirling around them. It was thick and musky and it sent shivers down her spine. It came out of nowhere and Hermione might have run away if she wasn't frozen in fear by the advancing beast.

The presence continued to smother them, firmly rooting them in place when the werewolf took another step closer but paused, sniffing the air around it. His amber eyes locked on their professor's and it's lipped curled back ever so slightly, aggressively hunching over again as the aura around them pulsated. It was dark, and terrifying and Hermione's heart threatened give under the pressure of it.

When suddenly the creature whined uncertainly, it's ears going flat against its skull, and turned, lopping away with its bent tail between its legs. The air around them cleared just as quickly as the aura had appeared, causing both her and Harry to suck in a deep breath of heavenly oxygen. She noticed her professor's tense figure as they did so and quieted down, her eyes trailing over his taunt figure. Had he been effected by it as well?

"What now?" She heard Harry ask, and she watched her professor relax just enough for him to turn and remain composed. He brought the fingers of his right hand to his lips and released a long, single note whistle. A dark figure blurred through the air and when it descended to them, Hermione was so pleased to see that it was only Buckbeak.

"How did you know how to call him, professor?" She asked as he patted the majestic birdlike creature's thick neck. He glanced over at her before returning his attention back to the nuzzling hippogriff.

"Hagrid." Oh course, she thought. How silly of her. Professor Dolohov and Hagrid were friends after all. It would make sense that he told the other professor some secrets about the many creatures he interacted with.

"I believe you're running out of time, Miss Granger. Weren't you two going to rescue Sirius Black?" Her eyes shot wide open as she gaped at her professor. So he did know… But how?

"Yes sir!" Harry answered quickly, bowing to Buckbeak again before climbing on top of the bird's back. Hermione bowed to him as well, and as she went to pull herself up onto his feathered back, large hands grasped her waist and helped push her up onto the creature's back.

"Professor…" Harry asked quietly, looking at him uncertainly, "Why are you helping us save Sirius?"

Hermione turned to look at him as well. Sitting on the back of a hippogriff, they were a few inches taller than him, and Hermione could see the moonlight reflecting back in his bottomless eyes. "Because he is innocent, Mr. Potter."

Professor Dolohov stood back and took another look at the two of them, "Seventh floor, Flitwick's office." Harry nodded and urged Buckbeak to go. Hermione never broke eye contact with the man until they were too far gone to see him. Why did he look so sure of his answer…?

What is he hiding…?


A Time Turner…

Who the hell gives a thirteen-year-old girl a bloody Time Turner?! Antonin was still fuming over it days after the fact. He had figured it out a week prior to Sirius Black's subsequent "escape". He had seen her rush into a classroom and barely caught up with her when she had suddenly disappeared. It hadn't been hard to put two and two together.

The amount of stress of a normal school schedule were hectic enough, but Miss Granger was currently taking every class offered to third years. Not to mention when she had been doing extra work to help Hagrid and dealing with the pressure of most of her peers ignoring her… How had the girl not cracked under pressure yet?

If only he had known about this sooner…

What could you do about it? His inner most thoughts taunted. What good would you do?

He didn't have an answer to that. But it didn't stop him from thinking that he could have helped her in some way. Whether it was verbally or emotionally, he could have done something.

And the whole werewolf debacle… He wanted to shake the Headmaster until whatever had possessed the old man vacated his wizened body. A werewolf? A bloody werewolf?! This was worse than the two Death Eaters he had hired… Much worse.

And Hermione had almost been attacked by it! Twice! Lupin was beyond lucky that he returned to the castle with his flea ridden hide intact. If Antonin hadn't been there, the two children might have been dead or, worse, infected.

He had purposely not attacked the beast, only releasing his magical aura to scare it away. Antonin had tried to direct it fully at the creature, but after the wolf had disappeared and he had returned to normal, he heard the two students behind him gasping for breath. It had only served to remind him that he was still very much a dangerous man.

Even his magical energy harmed others.

Shaking his head clear, Antonin returned to his glass of Firewhiskey, taking a long drink of it. And Sirius Black was free. That made everything worth it, in the dark wizard's opinion. He had known the young man was innocent at the time. He had known that Pettigrew had been the traitor.

He had told Dumbledore…

But the old man hadn't done anything. And Antonin wasn't a Gryffindor. He didn't possess the honor or bravery to come forward with the knowledge he possessed. Because his Slytherin sensibilities had told him that he would be forfeiting his own life and livelihood for a practical stranger. And he very much wanted to be alive and free.

Did that make him a coward? He couldn't tell anymore. Self-preservation was what he had told himself for years. But sometimes the two blurred together until Antonin was left just feeling empty.

He could have saved Black the trouble of Azkaban. He could have outed the literal rat and possibly had saved Lily and James Potter. Harry Potter might have still had his parents.

But… then the Dark Lord would still be alive and Antonin… He would still be a monster…

"Professor?" His eyes shot opened and focused on the doorway to his office. Hermione Granger was standing sheepishly in the opening, her hand raised like she had been knocking. He must have been too lost in his thoughts…

"Yes, Miss Granger?" He placed his glass on the desk and sat up a little straighter as she entered the room and approached him. He tried to force himself to look only at her face but he felt his composure slipping when he stole brief glances down to her waist. He had felt her… That same night, he had grabbed her there and even held her against him… She was soft, just like he had imagined her to be.

Stop it, you lecherous old man!

"I had a question, sir… And it's alright if you don't want to answer it, but I was just curious, is all-" She stopped when he gave her a pointed look. Taking a deep breath, she looked to be preparing herself and Antonin could only wonder what it was that she wanted to know. Does she know…? He tensed slightly and prepared for the worst.

"How did you know about my Time Turner?" Wha- Antonin could only stare at her as she stood nervously under his gaze. Out of all the bloody questions-!

"I watched you use it one day," he muttered, picking his glass back up to take another drink. It was a good thing he had it handy. This girl had driven him to drink multiple times already. Firewhiskey was a must now.

"Professor Dumbledore didn't tell you?" She asked, surprised.

He shook his head and muttered again, "He doesn't tell me much." Her head tilted in confusion and Antonin took another drink. Drink when she exasperates you, drink when she arouses you. You'll be pissed before dinner, Dolohov.

"Was that it, Granger?" He growled out in annoyance. More with himself than the girl. It wasn't her fault his traitorous body responded to every little thing she did. Unless he was right about the whole love potion theory.

She blinked in shock before shaking her head, "No, sir… I just wanted to thank you again-"

Antonin scoffed, effectively cutting her off, before he stood from his chair. "Yes, yes. Thank you for saving me life, yet again. Thank you for scaring away a werewolf before it could maul me to death. And thank you for ignoring the fact that I could have died or suffered a mental breakdown from the overuse of a bloody Time Turner."

Where this side of Antonin came from, he never did find out. He just knew that his blood pressure had been rising and he didn't want her thanks. He didn't want her to feel indebted to him. He didn't want her to even be near him half the time. While the other half he wanted her to be around him all the time.

And the girl… Hermione… she just stood there and took everything he had just thrown at her. Without even batting a curled eyelash. Her damnable whiskey eyes just held him as he practically threw a tantrum. It wasn't until he was done, his heavy breathing the only thing filling the room, that she finally spoke.

"Were you worried about me, professor?" Was he-? What did she bloody think he was doing all this for?!

"Yes, I was worried!" He shouted, watching a spark appear in the girl's eye. "You're still a child, Miss Granger. No matter how intelligent and responsible you are, it was idiotic to give you a Time Turner at this age! And of course the Ministry just approved it like the bootlicking, fascist, sub servants they are-!"

His was interrupted mid-rant but the feeling of two arms wrapping around his waist. His eyes dropped down and took in the impossible curly head of hair that was underneath his chin. She was so warm… So soft… And still so small.

He felt his body immediately begin to relax, before his arms raised to wrap around the girl's slim shoulders, returning her surprise embrace.

"Thank you, professor…"

She fit, he noticed. She fit rather nicely in his arms. Like she belonged there.

Like she was home.