From the author: Some big time leaps here!
Chapter 3.

Tim signed the lease that afternoon and took his new house key to the motel. He sat on his bed and played a little with it before putting it in his wallet. He organizes his mind in an attempt to figure out what he should do next. He realizes that he should focus on organizing his home first. He grabs his laptop and checks his email. He has a long e-mail from Abby which he ignores, there is a short one from Gibbs, asking him where he left that damn Jackson file. The last one is from Tony, apologizing for Gibbs' mail, asking him how things are going and a threat that if he doesn't send over his new address that Gibbs will hunt him down. Tim smiles and ignores the tight feeling in his chest. He opens a new message and addresses it to Tony and Gibbs. He reminds Gibbs that the Jackson-file is with Vance at the moment and he tells them shortly about his new house. After that he contacts the storage company that he would like his things delivered to him on Thursday, that would give him two days to paint and three days to settle in.

Tim changes into something less formal and heads out, walks down the street and fifteen minutes later he finds a nice restaurant. The staff seems to be friendly and when he is served half an hour later he is thrilled to find out that the food is excellent. The flirting with the waitress comes easy and even though it doesn't feel too comfortable it makes him feel better. There is scribbling on the bill and he recognizes it as a phone-number. He flushes and is surprised to hear her giggle.

There is a skip in his step when he makes his way back and is surprised to find an e-mail from Ziva. She wishes him all the best and tells about how something has happened in Israel with her family and that she has to get back for an uncertain amount of time, he shouldn't be worried when she didn't answer his emails. He smiles and curiously opens the photo that is attached to the file. It shows Tony giggling and some agent super glued to his keyboard. He thinks back about the time that it would have been him and for the first time he is happy about leaving, even if it is just a little bit.

As he yawns he realizes that it is later that he thought it would be and he quickly changes in to his pj's before slipping on the comforter and falling asleep.

-

Back in DC.

Gibbs ignores the silence in the usually non-silent lab as he walks in. He ignores the photo of the man with the big friendly eyes that used to be his junior agets. He gets agitated when he sees the number one beneath the photo.

"You have to do something to get him back Gibbs!" Abby whines as she walks towards him. "Did he leave because of Tony's idiocy? Because you could do something about that." Abby goes on but Gibbs ignores her, tuning her voice out and holding her close. He feels the need to tell her that it was actually her that drove him away, but he can't. She finally runs out of steam and Gibbs pushes her back.

"Ziva is in Israel and Tony and I are leaving town for a few days." Gibbs says as he hands her a Caf-Pow. He walks out of the room before her big eyes demand he tell her more. Besides, the plan is all set and he has already cleared it with Vance. He walks up to his desk again and gets confirmation from Tony that McGee has replied at the e-mail. He smirks as he grabs his gun and badge and turned off his computer and he saw Tony do the same from the corner of his eyes. He felt a little bit better about everything by the time that he drove off the navy yard.

-

Tim woke up with a start as he remembered his new apartment. He whistles as he showers, changes in to some old clothes and works trough his crappy breakfast. He gets his rental car and drives to his house, only getting lost once. He rubs his eyes as he sees two familiar figures sitting outside the building, drinking coffee and a bag with what is probably a couple of donuts.

"Boss?" he stammers "Tony?" and Tony laughs out loud. "We came over to help." Gibbs says as he stands up and cleans his hands on the side of his pants. "It is not like you are the best with handiwork." Tony says as he claps McGee's shoulder. "Show us your new geek-hide-out!"

They work the entire day and soon the rooms have more color and a few rooms have a wooden floor. He smiles and during the day he has to convince himself a few times that those man, his friends, are really there. They go to dinner as his treat and as he goes back to his motel he has the biggest grin on his face.

His friends stay the entire week and before Friday is over he is all set. Tony and Gibbs have to leave and it leaves a bit of a black hole inside of him "We are always just a phone-call away." Tony says as he hugs McGee. "Don't hesitate." Gibbs says and his eyes show a flash of love, compassion and a hint of regret. He drives them to the airport and waves from the gate, even though he knows that they can't see him.

He drives home and realizes that while he drives that he is going to his new home. The rest of the day he decides to buy groceries and get to know his neighbors. There is a big shop nearby and he only needs three trips to get his cabinets stocked. He enjoys filling everything to the top, stacked in neat lines and organized just as he likes it. He turns up the radio and hums along with the song that sounds vaguely familiar. He is about to fold the last of the towels away when there is a knock at his door.

The mirror in the hallways allows him to quickly check his appearance before he opens the door. There is a woman standing on the other side of the door, a few inches shorter than him, hair that is so dark brown that it borders on black. She has a pair of bright blue eyes and her mouth is curved up in a friendly smile.

"H..hey." he manages to stammer out and he hears Tony in the back of his head. "Nice going there Probie."

"Heya." she answers back. "I am Rachel, my apartment is right there." she says pointing towards the door at the other side of the hallway. "I noticed you moving in this week and I thought I'd come over to welcome you." They stand there for a few awkward moments before she handed him a bottle of wine. "There you go, present." she said and the awkward moments continues. "Wanna come in for a talk?" he says as he opens the door a little further.

One month later

McGee couldn't be happier when he drove home today, he loved his shiny Cadillac Eldorado and his new team couldn't be better. He has had some trouble in the first weeks with actual leading the team but he liked to think that he was doing just fine. Tonight he was going with Rachel to a concert and then his new book was coming along nicely. He had hesitated about continuing his LJ Tibbs series but he found himself craving some sort of connection to the people that once used to be his team.

He parks his car and walks the last few minutes to his house. He stops dead in his tracks as he hears a familiar shriek and sees a black blur running towards him, accompanied by the heavy thud of combat-boots. Abby wraps himself in a hug and for a moment his heart stops.

"Timmy." Abby sighs happily and he hesitantly returns the hug. "We need to talk." she says as she holds him at arms length. He closes his eyes and wishes the entire situation to go away, but it doesn't. Her fingers are digging in to his arms and the ever present smell of gunpowder lingers in his nose. "Let's go inside." he sighs.

She keeps up conversation all the way to his living room. She was ecstatic about the place and clung to him while he made her a drink. By the time they sat down to talk he was already emotionally drained.

"Why are you here?" he asks her as he cut her off, mid-rant. She hesitates for a few moments and goes uncharacteristically quiet.

"I wanted to make sure that you are okay." she starts. "I miss you and even though the replacement guy they have for you is fine, he is not you. I miss you in my lab and I want to have you back." He leans forward and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I can't go back." he says, and he knows that he has to tell her more, but he can't, not until she specifically asks him.

"Why not?" she says and suddenly everything he has been dreading to tell her isn't such a big problem anymore.

"Because I love you Abby, I have loved you since the moment I wandered in to your lab as a lost puppy, and I don't know if I will ever stop loving you and seeing you with all those other people, and having you talk about them? I was breaking my heart every new day all over again. I wanted to tell you, they don't love you like I do, but I couldn't because you would make fun of me."

Abby is hurt, the emotion pours out of her body and Tim figures that she has every right to be.

"You can come back" she finally says after a few minutes. "We can make things work between us. We can" she stresses "if you really want." There is desperation in her eyes but he has to tell her that even though she lost her best friend, he lost so much more. He lost the love of his life.

"This is not about you!" he exclaims with his hands in the air as he stand up, pacing around. "I was a wreck because the only thing that I could think of was you, I was obsessed with you. I didn't want to move to San Diego, but honestly, it was my only chance of saving myself."

She walks towards him and her arms are wide open. There is nothing more he wants to do than returning that hug, holding her close and pretend again for another second that he is in fact in a relationship with her, but he can't.

"I need you to leave now." he said before he walks away, locking himself in to the bedroom. He sat against the door and felt his heart breaking with every one of her sobs. Half an hour later she leaves and sending her away is the hardest thing he is ever done. He barely makes it to the bed before he starts crying. He curls up in foetal position and for a few minutes the pain in his chest is so tight he isn't sure he is going to survive. But the pain subsides eventually and leaves him with this hollow feeling. He is vaguely aware that he should text Rachel telling her to cancel their plans but he doesn't have the energy to do anything other than breathe.

Time goes by but he has no clue how much time has passed but he is aware of someone opening the door to his bedroom. The sheets are lifted and a warm body presses up against him. It is an unfamiliar smell but the touch comforts him it is like an anchor that keeps him grounded, keeps him safe.

He wakes up the next morning and his bed is empty. He wonders for a second if the other person had been in his dreams but then he sees a note on his nightstand.

"Tim, I checked why you didn't show up for our concert, the door was open, I found you in your bed. You seemed pretty out of it but I left you once I know you where asleep. Please let me know how you are doing once you wake up. X Rachel."

His alarm-clock tells him that it is 6 in the morning and that is too early to hop over to Rachel's place. He takes a shower and dresses himself, getting ready for work and hoping that the ever present throbbing of emotional pain in his chest would subside. His team noticed the mood he was in, he was sure of it but he was thankful they didn't comment on it. He e-mails Rachel and invites her to dinner that night, to explain what has happened and he hopes that sharing it will at least make it easier. She is happy to go out with him that night and surprisingly he is actually able to focus on his job for the rest of the day.

One year, four months, two weeks and a day later.

The news itself wasn't a shocker. Let's be honest here, even though nobody knew his exact age, he wasn't young anymore. But still, he felt sad to hear about Gibbs retirement. He had e-mailed with Tony and Ziva over the last couple of months but none of them had mentioned it. Now he was looking at the official invitation to the farewell-ceremony of special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

He gave Cynthia a call, let her know that he was coming and assigned his team enough cold cases to keep them busy while he was away. He dreaded going back to DC. It had been a year and a half and he had created a new social life for himself I San Diego and going back to DC had never been in the initial plan. He gathered up his nerve and invited Rachel to come along with him. He hoped that it would make things easier and he knew that his old friends would like her.

Driving through DC again was a strange experience. It felt that he had lived there, another life time ago. As if two different lifetimes were only separated by a five hour flight, and he was screwing up the universe by mixing those lifetimes.

Gibbs' farewell was the next day but since they had plenty of time left they decided to visit NCIS. Tim wasn't sure at first but Rachel really wanted to see it and he figured that it couldn't do much damage. He had free access since he was still an NCIS agent but Rachel had to come in as a visitor. Once all that was finished he took her straight up to the bullpen, eager to see family again. He hoped that they where there but once the elevator doors opened he saw them and his heart jumped up. He walks a little faster as he walks over to the desks, everyone seems engaged in their work and McGee can't help but sneak up to Tony. He gives the man a head slap and chuckles as Tony shoots up.

"Working Boss!" he yelps before he realizes that Gibbs is in fact still at his desk. The grin on his face says enough as he realizes that it is McGee. "See you got one leadership skill down." He grins happily as he pulls him in a hug. "Good to see you man!" he says before handing McGee over to Ziva and eventually Gibbs who doesn't hug him but shakes his hand in a very friendly manner.

"The party isn't until tomorrow Tim, why are you here?" Ziva asks as her former teammate makes introductions to his replacement. "Well, we..." he starts before realizing that Rachel is still standing there. He motions her over and grabs her hand. "This is Rachel." he says. "My girl, and Tony if you even look at her funny I will hurt you." he says, laughing. Tony acts hurt because he would never take a girl from McGee and it breaks the ice. They talk for a good fifteen minutes but Gibbs ushers them back to work.

Tim visits Ducky and Palmer and some other friends, he is happy to see them all but he knows that he has to visit Abby, a visit he has been dreading ever since he got on the plane. He walks into the lab and is slightly surprised. The Abby he once knew seems to be gone, instead there is a blond girl, wearing jeans, a normal t-shirt and a lab coat. The only thing that is giving her away is the music and the dedication to her work.

"Abs?" he asks, still not sure if it is really her. "Tim?" she replies before she walks towards him and gives him a hug. She is different in every possible way but in her eyes still sparkles that eccentric woman she once was. "This is Rachel" he says. "We came over for tomorrow and we are just saying hello." Abby shakes hand with Rachel and the awkwardness is so thick in the air that McGee quickly makes an excuse and leaves.

Nine months and three week later:

"Do you, Timothy McGee, take Rachel Trellut as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

One year and eleven months later.

"Damn Tim! You said this wouldn't happen again."

"I can't promise that, you know that as well as I do, I am deputy director of a federal agency, that is what happens, that is what my job requires. You said that I should push for the position but now that I have it you only complain about it!"

She slams the door behind her as she walks out of the house, it isn't the first time that they had this argument and he is pretty sure that it wouldn't be the last time. This situation is killing him and as good as he is with conflicts at work, he is the worst with them when it comes to his personal life.

Five months and four weeks later

"I still love you, but this marriage, it doesn't work. I would rather divorce you and stay friends with you than ending up hating each other forever."

She cries silently as he takes her in his arms. There is nothing he can do or say right now to make it better, because well, let's face it. He always screws up relationships.

He was physically sick for a week after he signs the divorce papers.