o o o


Breaking Insanity

Chapter 3 – Slipping Away


It came with the dark. It approached him when he had fallen asleep. Like a shadow repressed during the daytime it sneaked upon him; long, icy fingers clutching his heart. It was the same – it was always the same. The dream he couldn't escape. The dream he could never brush off as 'just a dream'.

The nightmare put on endless replay.

The first thing he dreamt after Rin's death still haunted him.

"You promised that you would protect her," Obito says. He stands in front of him, one finger is pointing accusingly straight at Kakashi.

"I did my best!"

"You said that you would protect her when I couldn't."

"I tried!"

"I saved you and this is how you repay me? By letting her die!?"

"No!"

"Look at your hands, you killer!"

Kakashi looks down.

They are covered in her blood.

A knock on the door woke him. Kakashi blinked, and rolled around on his stomach, pulling a pillow over his head to keep the sound out. This – when he was having a nightmare – was the only circumstance it was acceptable for anyone to wake him up at six o'clock in the morning… but that still didn't mean he wanted to get up yet.

The knock was heard again. It was Gai, of course. He didn't even need to recall that he had promised to come yesterday; no sane person would try to wake him this early. The only person who had the guts – or the stupidity – to do so was Gai.

Well, Gai and Jiraiya.

Gai loved mornings. Kakashi hated them.

Gai wouldn't stop knocking on the door until Kakashi finally got up and opened it for him. He figured that he should probably just give Gai a key already, seeing as he knew there was no use in trying to keep him out. It would save Kakashi the bother of getting out from his warm, cozy bed just to unlock a door.

Then again, Gai would most likely use it against him to sneak up on him and – oh, the horror – leap on his stomach in his sleep if he decided Kakashi wasn't getting up soon enough for his tastes. Kakashi would have to reconsider. Right now, he was too tired to think that much. It was too early – who in their right mind would be able to think clearly at this time of the day?

Drowsy with sleep, Kakashi walked back to his bed. Gai followed him, talking and talking and talking – most likely youth and training if the few words he snapped up was anything to go by (and if he knew they guy at all). Kakashi had every intention of going straight back to bed and let Gai talk to his sleeping form, but before he really was aware of it himself, Gai had somehow managed to get him into his training clothes and they were outside running next to each other as the sun rose.

"You know," Kakashi started when he had finally begun to wake up, his sentence cut in the middle by a tired yawn. "We need to make some sort of compromise." The glowering ball of orange and yellow rose over dark shaded trees and shone straight at them. Kakashi squinted his eyes. How annoying. The track turned, setting them in a more favorable position to the sun.

"Of what sort, my rival?"

"Well, I'm obviously not your dad so I can't – and won't – take his place in your training scheme. Morning runs, especially pre-school, really isn't my thing. I figured that maybe we could reach an understanding in which I didn't have to get up at six am every day."

Gai narrowed his eyebrows thoughtfully. "Early morning training is an excellent way of getting your blood in circulation and the best start one can get on a day!"

"Yeah, but still-"

"So, only five days a week?"

Kakashi winced. "I was thinking more like one day…

"…or two," he added, seeing Gai's disappointed look. "Three days," he finally decided. "No more than three days." "Don't forget I'll train judo with you in the evenings. We can go to the gym a few times a week too, just not in the morning."

"That sounds perfect, Kakashi! Perhaps in time you will want to join me on my runs more often, but I am happy to see that spirit of youth awaken in you! Let's do one hundred push-ups!"

Kakashi was already regretting his decision.

o o o

"Mah, when does school start again?" Kakashi asked, nose buried in his book as they ate breakfast together back at his flat. "College. University. Whatever."

"Tomorrow."

"Damn. I was hoping it was next week." Kakashi pouted before he sipped on his tea.

"Kakashi?"

"Hm?"

"How did it go yesterday?"

Kakashi scratched his neck, eyes ceasing in an awkward smile as he looked up from his reading material. He had hoped Gai would have forgotten that. "Well, not too well."

"How so?"

"He didn't want to speak to me at all." Kakashi turned his attention back to where he left off in the story. "I guess I'll give him some time and then try again…"

Gai didn't ask anything more, knowing when to drop the subject. Kakashi allowed himself to get lost in his book of questionable content, to let it take his mind off more tiring, disappointing and appropriate things.

After finishing their tea Gai helped Kakashi with the dishes. Kakashi would do them eventually, but he wouldn't hurry and Gai wanted to show him around in the city. Kakashi wasn't going anywhere until his place was tidy again, and the only way to get the shores done fast was if Gai did them. Besides, Gai already knew him well enough to know that he'd rather hide indoors all day if given the choice – even if he usually enjoyed himself once he got his butt out of the door.

Or, well, sometimes, anyhow.

With Gai doing the dishes Kakashi not only lost his reason for staying indoors, but would also feel guilty if he didn't agree to go with him since Gai had helped him out.

And so it was only a matter of minutes before Gai dragged Kakashi with him to show him his apartment. It was a four minute bus ride away from Kakashi's place, or – as Gai informed him of – twenty minutes by foot (if one ran). He generously offered one of his keys to him. Kakashi tried to refuse, but eventually he ended up accepting it anyway and gave Gai his spare key too. It would be less bothersome if Gai let himself in rather than knocked on the door until Kakashi's neighbors got irritated at him, even if he would do a dramatic entry when Kakashi slept and was sure to give him a heart attack one day or another.

Then Gai pulled him around in the city to show him various parks, gyms and other important, 'youthful' places he should know about. This continued until Star Master's Judo Club opened at five pm and Gai made him sign up so they could continue training together.

A familiar smell entered his nose when he stepped inside the dojo. All dojos were different; but still somehow they all felt like home to Kakashi. Judo had always been a part of his life.

He didn't have many memories of his father, but Kakashi knew he had been a state champion in judo. He had spent a lot of his early childhood in locals like this, and most of the few memories he had of Sakumo where in some way or another connected to judo. When he was little, he came to watch his father train, and as soon as he was allowed to he started training himself with the youngest students – most of them at least a few years older than himself. When Sakumo realized that Kakashi was genuinely interested and not just wanted to do judo because he admired his father, he was a patient teacher. He never put his own training above spending time with his son, and when they trained together Sakumo had a knack of making it more of a game than anything else – at the tender age of five he didn't think judo was anything Kakashi should take too seriously. Maybe playing together was the right wording for it, because it wasn't until a few years after his father's death that Kakashi was old enough to really start learning any techniques.

Being here, despite never having setting foot in this particular local before, felt a bit like coming home. When he moved to Konoha, the dojo there had been very important to him. He had quickly shown a lot of promise, and even fought professionally for a few years. Eventually he decided wasn't interested in fame. He preferred to train with his friends, occasionally fighting in smaller competitions to boost his club and get some adrenaline pumping in his body. He wasn't interested in being high profile or to put all into his training and if given any choice, he stayed far away from any tournaments that were too big in the media.

It was nice to be back.

The smell, the sound, the air. Kakashi loved it as much as Gai did though he never showed it as openly.

Another teenager walked up to them. "Kakashi-sempai," he said, bowing respectfully. Kakashi tilted his head in confusion, looking at Gai for explanation. He was pretty sure he had never seen this guy before, but then again, he couldn't be completely sure.

"This is Tenzo," Gai introduced them. "He has got a relative in Konoha and saw you fight in the Martial Arts Competitions last spring. He has admired your youthful talent ever since!"

"Nice to meet you, kid."

"Actually, he's not as young as he looks. He's starting the same college we are this year – although he's moved up a class."

"Really?" Kakashi's left eyebrow rose slightly, an expression that was barely noticeable unless one paid close attention. "That's cool."

Tenzo smiled, looking down. "It's nothing special. My parents put me in school one year earlier, that's all."

"Modest genius," Kakashi teased, pleased to be able to put an embarrassed blush and a bothered look on the younger boy's face with minimal effort. He would like him. Kakashi always liked people he could harass. Get them to pay his bills, feel awkward, mess with their heads and just basically fuck with for kicks. Tenzo seemed to be that kind of guy he could take advantage of.

And Kakashi?

Well, he was an evil, evil person.

"Kakashi…" started Gai. Kakashi knew that tone in that voice far too well and cut his friend off before he had time to say anything more.

"Not this time, Gai," Kakashi said, watching Gai's face drop. It was still hilarious, even at this age, because Kakashi had always been a bastard and probably always would be one to some degree. But he couldn't be evil for too long. Not to Gai, anyway.

Kakashi smirked. "Today I will challenge you."

Gai lit up again and Kakashi blinked in calm indifference. But as he turned his back to Gai and made his way to one of the empty mats, Kakashi's own lips twisted upwards. Tenzo followed them.

The smile didn't leave his face as he stepped out on the soft tatami mat and turned to Gai.

Because, formal competitions in all honor, Gai himself wasn't exactly the easiest guy to beat in a fair fight either. Kakashi might not like big tournaments, but he did like strong opponents. Like Kakashi, Gai had the potential to go really far (more because of ambitions and hard work rather than Kakashi's natural born genius) and was known and feared in and beyond the region of Konoha as the 'Green Beast' for his strength and speed. It was a self-proclaimed title – in formal judo tournaments the only colors allowed to wear being either white or blue – but Gai announced it so loudly and left such an impression on those he fought that he would, mostly likely, taint the view they had on the color green for life. Kakashi had jokingly been nicknamed 'The Copycat' by his fellow judokas in Konoha, because he picked up new moves disturbingly easy. He was infamous for quick reflexes, his perfected, razor-sharp techniques and the ability to predict and read his opponent's next movements. In fights, Kakashi and Gai were pretty equally matched. Gai was stronger, had greater endurance and could move faster; Kakashi could anticipate his moves and had more refined techniques at his disposal.

The entire summer had passed, and it had been too long. Kakashi lived for this. A few others training stopped to look at the upcoming randori of their newest recruits. A few walked closer, one took a break and leaned against the wall, a water bottle to his lips and mild curiosity in his eyes.

"Hajime!" Tenzo called out.

In a swish of clothes and carefully controlled limbs, they moved. It was fast, quick, but not all out – not quite yet. They didn't want this to end too quickly and they needed to warm up.

Hand – block. Push, pull – a tug of clothes, a change of stance. Stumble, fall. Balance. Attack – twist, turn, throw. Two heavy breaths. A low whistle, a cheer. Kakashi got Gai in a rear throw, allowed him to get up again. Gai managed to get him in a choke hold, but let him go.

They were training, not competing. The competition was there, but silent, only present to the two fighters.

A mistake, a look. I saw that. A glitter of dark eyes. Gai was smiling, but for once, he looked serious, collected. Calm.

Kakashi missed a move and Gai managed to grab him, throw him over his shoulder. He fell hard, flat on his back.

Ouch.

Ippon – the highest score possible.

In a real competition, Gai would have won with that one, but here Kakashi only got up, new determination and competitiveness returning to him.

Partly because he needed to practice it anyway, and party to show off, Kakashi grabbed both Gai's judogi with both hands and pulled back, using a more advanced sacrifice throw. He leaned back, threw Gai over himself and heard his body hit hard against the mat.

"You okay?"

"Yes!"

He never used all his techniques in training, if he could help it. He needed people to practice them on, but Gai was skilled and Kakashi might very well face him of at a real torment one day so he couldn't have Gai knowing all his moves.

They had their wins and losses, some noticed and others unnoticed by their audience, and in the end, no one appeared to win. In formal competitions, the time limit was five minutes, but in free sparring like this, they could keep going much longer. When they parted it was without any apparent winner or loser, being training partners for so long they didn't need to utter words. Kakashi still needed to get stronger, faster. Gai needed to work on his predicament, his techniques.

One smirking, one grinning and both dripping with sweat, they bowed respectfully to one another – out of tradition more than anything else – before they walked off the mat. They got a few claps on their back as they walked down, encouraging words by the new club's fellow judokas.

"Great footwork, there," their new sensei told Gai and then turned towards Kakashi, smiling. "Beautiful throw. You made it look effortless. We're happy to have you both!"

"Yosh!"

"Thank you, sensei."

Kakashi, not being too fond of social interactions, slipped away to the showers. It was high time to go home now anyhow; he needed to get to bed early. The first real judo training would be first next Wednesday and it was school tomorrow. Gai and Tenzo followed him.

"That was amazing!" Tenzo told them when they sat sweating and panting in the changing room, sipping on water. "I've got to train now, but hey – spar with me sometime, Gai? Kakashi-sempai?" He smiled and left the room, leaving Kakashi and Gai chuckling quietly.

o o o

Kakashi was glad to wake by the alarm clock at seven. It meant that Gai had been kind enough not to choose Monday mornings to force Kakashi to train with him, something that Kakashi was tremendously thankful for. He showered and got dressed, ate his breakfast and took the bus to the university. After a few stops Gai got on, and he jumped into the window seat to make room for him.

Gai shared most of his lectures. To his surprise, so did the kid they had met at the Judo club yesterday, Tenzo. Kakashi found it difficult to remember that he was actually really close to their age because he seemed younger and Kakashi got that weird urge to ruffle his hair and call him kid. He managed to hold those actions to himself – but he did like that Tenzo called him sempai.

Really, the kid was cute.

Right. That was what he was trying not to think.

Besides Tenzo and Gai, Kakashi recognized Asuma from his old class back in elementary school. He too, had gone to Konoha High. They had one or two classes together daily. Everyone else was new, but Kurenai and Genma – both also from his year-group in Konoha High – went to this school too though in different programs. He and Genma had one class together in literature every week, but that was it.

"Kurenai is in the art program," Asuma informed them.

All in all, Kakashi liked his new schoolmates. With a university as big as this one, it hadn't been likely that he would have ended up in the same lectures as one of his old classmates, much less three of them.

Rainbrook University had a pleasant feel to it. It was old, but newly renovated and fresh. It was open and airy, and the large widows, high roof and the white-painted walls gave a feeling of space. It had a library of modest size and a cafeteria where students could buy lunches or snacks. Unlike many colleges, it didn't have dooms for the students and they had to find other means of living – most rented cheap apartments close by, others lived with their families or friends. Though there were little over one thousand students the classes were relatively small and the school rarely felt crowded. The teachers were overall good, living up to the school's prized name.

Though not nearly as distinctive as it had been in high school, most students could still be parted into two groups; the ambitions ones and the ones having fun. Genma was one of the few in the middle and he managed to mingle with different people. He was intelligent, so slacking off didn't affect his grades too badly. He wasn't a party animal, but he was the most social one in Kakashi's circle of friends. Gai liked people, but most fled him – and Tenzo was a bit on the shy side, which surprised him since he'd been the one to approach him yesterday. Asuma was not as social as Genma, but more so than the introverts Kakashi and Tenzo made. Asuma met some new people he got along with, but he mostly stuck around his old friends from Konoha High and talked with Kureani between the lectures.

During the week Kakashi also recognized Izumo and Kotetsu – they too from Konoha High. They didn't really know each other that well, but talked and hung out occasionally between classes. Anko, and all his other school peers from Konoha High had applied to other (if any) universities – mostly in Suna, which was the city closest to Konoha, but he'd heard a few of them studied further away as well.

Because some lived further away than others; all students got lockers to put their schoolbooks in between lectures so they didn't need to carry all books with them. In average, most spent around four hours active studying at the university divided into two or three lectures; but since the lectures came one after another only occasionally, students often stayed in the library or cafeteria between them – in fact, some even stayed after they had had all their lectures just to study in the library or do research there. Depending on his schedule; Kakashi would get home any time from 11:00 am to 16:10 pm.

o o o

It took a while before he heard about them.

The Akatsuki.

Akatsuki was a feared gang, and apparently this year, its presence was stronger than ever before in this school. He had been briefly aware of them before, of course. It was almost impossible to pass through Amegakure and not know of them, and news of the Akatsuki reached far and wide and put fear into hearts all over the continent. Supposed to be the most ruthless street-gang in the area, he had heard quite about them already and hadn't been able to overlooks its existence. The gang colors were black and red, and symbols like red clouds with a white lining, the letter 'A', red moons and sun ups where all associated with them and often seen scribbled on many different places. They didn't carry any special gang-tattoos which made them a little more subtle than other gangs – if they wanted to be, that was – and it was said that they even had the police under their thumbs.

But what he hadn't known earlier was that Akatsuki had anything to do with Rainbrook University.

Still, Kakashi couldn't say he was worried. Gangs mostly fought gangs, and if Kakashi stayed out of it he wasn't likely to get into any trouble – though, of course, it couldn't hurt to be a bit wary.

It took a full week before he noticed something else. Or rather, someone among a thousand students.

Obito.

The first time, he had broken out in a surprised, but genuine smile – hardly believing the luck that they would go to the same university. Once again he tried to talk to him, only to get snubbed off without as much as a glance. Some of Obito's friends, however, threw him irritated looks and shoved him into the wall as they passed. He tried to talk to him several times that second week of school, but Obito always made a good point in ignoring him, and as for his friends…

Honesty, they were threatening. Even boarding on violent.

Also… there was something else that made approaching him harder too.

Rumors.

They were everywhere. Now, Kakashi knew better than to believe everything he heard. But the fact still remained that usually there was an inch of truth hidden behind most tales. And the stories told about Obito were not good ones.

It was said he was the Akatsuki leader.

That had almost knocked Kakashi off his feet the second he realized that no, it was not a joke. Then he'd almost started laughing. He knew Obito had gotten into trouble these last years, but he just couldn't see him as part of a gang, much less the gang leader of the most feared gang in Amegakure.

How could someone even think that? It was impossible. Obito wouldn't have anything to do with an organization like that and to even think he'd be a part of the Akatsuki was absurd.

That wasn't the end of the rumors, though.

Obito had, according to word, killed more people than you could count on person's fingers and toes, but somehow always gotten away with it, and he was one hell of a skilled fighter and manipulator. Stories of Obito were all over the university and they were endless. Some of them had creepily many witnesses of students whom would usually be considered trustworthy; others were just insane tales that seemed to make him into something as alien as 'Big Foot' and as inhumane as a machine.

Kakashi didn't believe them at all first, but it didn't take that long to make him doubt his own belief in Obito.

It was mostly the simple things.

Like how he walked perfectly straight through crowded corridors, and all others moved to the side when Obito or any of his friends passed.

It was how the teachers never told Obito or his friends off when they misbehaved – except for that new one who did, and never came back.

It was how the guy that had been seen talking back to Obito returned the following day with a broken arm and a blue-bruised face.

It was how his so-called friends obeyed his every wink without question – and how horrified everyone from Amegakure seemed when he tried to approach Obito and strongly suggested to leave him be and not to meddle with him or any of his business. And it wasn't just classmates and acquaintances, but even strangers.

A hand on his shoulder.

"Hey. Don't get too close to them."

The whispers.

"Be aware. He's a killer."

The air around him felt tense and dangerous, and whenever he walked by; all students seemed to hold their breath.

Put shortly, Obito and his gang ruled the school.

It didn't take that long for Kakashi to get the hint. Obito meant trouble. And he didn't want to have anything to do with him. It hurt, but Kakashi didn't know what to do to change anything. It felt surreal. He had to somehow find Obito alone, and speak to him. He couldn't give up on him.

But Obito was always out of reach.

The closest Kakashi came to have Obito acknowledge his existence was at the end of the first month when Obito raised his hand to stop one of his 'friends' that had gotten tired of Kakashi's pursuit of their leader, and decided to deal with him.

Nothing really had time to happen.

A guy with vivid, violet eyes had pushed him up against the wall. From his looks, he appeared to be an albino – his iris were such a light shade of blue that the red blood vessels showed through, and his hair was as pale as his own – though it was unclear if the silvery tint was natural or colored.

Obito raised his hard, said nothing, and walked on without missing a beat, ignoring them in all other ways. A guy with long dark hair and piercing green eyes turned around and gave Kakashi's attacker an irritated look.

"Hidan."

This Hidan let him go and rolled his eyes, cursing about how life wasn't fair. As he walked away a switch-knife slipped out from his sleeve and into his hand. He flicked the blade open. It gleamed maliciously in the lamplight, and Hidan threw him a last smirk over his shoulder as he tossed the knife and caught it again effortlessly.

Kakashi tried to not think about how that hand had just been pressed against his throat.


I just recently read there was a writing rule against starting chapters with dreams (or to include flashbacks during the first three chapters) but… oh well. There's this other rule that says to break 'em all and that's what I'm doing, I guess. XD Thank you from reading, please review and Merry Christmas!