Here is the third chapter. This one was a bit of a struggle but I managed to make it through. I will be trying to write this story as regularly as I can, but there is an incredibly high chance that won't happen. Quite frankly, I have too much shit to do. Still, I will eventually finish it, even if it takes years (which it might) so no angry comments telling me to finish it! Now, to the story.

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When Loki woke up he realized there was someone else in his bed. It unbalanced him. No one had been in his bed for many years now, not after the rumors of his mischief spread throughout the realms. Loki felt the cool press of metal against his back and that only confused him more. As he turned over he groaned in pain. It was not the sharp agonizing pain that he had felt before, now it was dull and throbbing. When he finally made it all the way around he stared at the bearded face that had been pressed against this back and sighed in happiness. It was not a dream then. He had really been saved by the Man of Iron.

"I know I'm beautiful but there is no need to stare." Came a low grumble and Loki looked to see Tony eyes open, staring right back at him.

"Sorry." Loki mumbled. Tony stretched like a cat, elongating his shorter body until it took up most of the bed.

"No need to be. I'm actually content. This is the first time I've been able to wake up next to a man and not end up in some sort of screaming match." Tony flashed a winning smile and relaxed against the pillows again.

"You have slept with other men?" Loki asked with a raised eyebrow.

"On occasion. I stopped for a while because every morning ended with a sexual identity crisis from my partner or The Woman yelling at me for being reckless." Loki hummed at the statement.

"I thought humans were against men having relations with each other. All the other times I have been here it has been a taboo worthy of death."

"Times change Reindeer Games. Its still a taboo in many people's eyes. Though the law has changed it so that it is no longer illegal and many people accept it now." Tony grunted as he stood up from the bed. "Alright, time for breakfast. We need to put some meat on your bones." Tony yanked Loki out of bed, softly as to not disturb his injuries. He pulled him along to the kitchen. Both, it seemed, had decided not to talk about why they had ended up in bed together. Tony was not eager to mention the nightmares and Loki did not want to risk it never happening again. Sure he was not sexually involved with the Man of Iron, but it had been so long that someone was willing to make casual contact with him that if Stark was going to crawl into bed with him he would not say no.

"Let's go get something to eat. Then we can discuss a few things. I had a vision in my dream!" Tony shouted joyously before bolting out of the bed. Loki sat stunned for a moment. Sometimes Stark had as much infernal energy as his brother. He clambered slowly out of bed and followed JARVIS's directions to the kitchen.

On the black marble of the enormous counter there was a feast of fruits, French baguettes (that were shipped this morning from France), thin slices of meat and large bowls of yogurt. Tony was perched on a chair on the opposite of the table and motioned for Loki to sit on the other side.

"I know your brother loves all the fattening and sugary crap America has to offer. However, I have been informed by JARVIS that you probably do not."

"Thank you." Loki said, slipping into his chair with his head bowed. Tony waved it away impatiently before reaching for a platter of meats

"No need. JARVIS has been trying to make me eat like this for years. Since The Woman is gone I should try and start taking care of myself. Not that I won't indulge when I want to, after all, I am Tony Stark." Tony popped a piece of salami in his mouth as he watch Loki cautiously reach for a plate and begin loading it with food. He smiled when there was less hesitation grabbing than when he was going for the pizza.

"The woman?" Loki asked. He said so shyly, making Tony a bit angry. It seemed that Loki was not yet comfortable around him. Still, it had only been a day and a half since he woke. It would probably take a while before the snark came back.

"Yeah. I forgot you didn't know about her. Most of the world knows about her. She was my personal assistant for years, the CEO of my company as well and she was my lover for about as long. We had been dating on and off for about five years. We had a lot of arguments and she was always trying to change me. Still, I loved her and did the best I could. Not long after we sent you back she decided that she didn't love me anymore. That she could do better than a 'narcissistic alcoholic ass'." Tony crinkled his nose in disgust. He looked at Loki when the god snorted.

"The fool." Tony smiled as a flash of the arrogant megalomaniac came back.

"Hmm? You think so?" Tony hummed, laying his chin on laced fingers.

"Any person would be foolish to think they could do better than you, lest they were looking for a god." Loki sneered.

"Most people would disagree with you. In fact the whole world roared in approval when she announced that she was resigning." There was a little bitterness in his tone, though Tony had no idea why he even tried to hide it.

"Then they are wrong too. Putting aside the fact that you could provide a person everything they want twenty times over and will likely sire intelligent, successful offspring; you have good qualities of a provider. You have a fierce loyalty to those who you care about, even the smallest amount. You are unshakeable in your morals, even if they do not fully align with the standards of the world. You have a deep desire to make people happy, even if it means distracting them from their pain by making a fool of yourself. Finally you are willing to change to make those around you happy. All those are qualities you wouldn't even find in the best of the gods." Loki finished with his tone superior, begging Tony to challenge what he said.

"Wow…. Just . . . wow." Tony was stunned. He was no fool and knew that most of what Loki had said, he himself had already realized. How was it that a being from a different realm (Tony refused to acknowledge him as a god. He was an alien) was able to see these things from a few choice encounters while The Woman and everyone else had never realized?

"You are surprised I know?" Loki asked a little shrewdly.

"Well when your brother came to earth he didn't know how to use a toaster." Tony said as if it were the answer to the question.

"I am not as simple as Thor." Loki sneered again.

"No I think Thor's simple-ness is one of his godly powers." Tony quipped, causing Loki to smirk.

"When I came to this realm I immediately began gathering information. I used the hawk to find out what forces would be used against me and their weaknesses. Of course he immediately told me about the Avenger plan. Told me that even though it had been discarded that his boss would try anything to revive it." Loki folded his fingers and placed them under his chin. "So many interesting people with wonderful powers and yet the most interesting one of them happened to be the one named Stark."

"Thank you!"

"That wasn't necessarily a compliment."Loki popped a grape in his mouth. Tony realized that he had been so engrossed with talking that he forgot to eat. "Out of all the men the hawk mentioned there was not one word of good about you. Even your accomplishments came with disdain from the man. Interested I looked around and saw that this notion was almost universal in the world of the powerful. Yet, to the common man, you were regarded as a benevolent god. Interesting. So you were the only one that I desired to meet. When I saw you I knew you would be the one that was a challenge. The wild card. Indeed you were, to think that you would fly in a worm hole at risk of your own life. Not a very narcissistic thing."

Tony smiled. It seemed like he was doing that a lot around Loki. Then again, it has been the first time he talked to anybody that wasn't JARVIS in about a month. Not knowing what to say, Tony nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"If you're done follow me to the bathroom so I can explain my epiphany to you." Tony said with a laugh before sprinting off to the bathroom. Loki followed at a more leisurely pace, glancing around as he went. He marveled at the house. The only it could look more sophisticated would be if it had been done in all gold, like on Asgard. Which Loki knew Stark could probably do.

In the bathroom Tony stood behind a chair. On the counter was an array of oddly shaped bottles and scissors. Slowly Loki made his way to the chair, settling into it softly. He flinched when a towel was suddenly wrapped around his neck.

"Darling what a mess! We absolutely must do something with that hair!" Tony lisped in his 'gay hairdresser' voice. Loki looked confused. "Sorry, I forgot that you wont get all my jokes. Im going to do your hair. SHEILD hasn't been here for nearly three months, meaning within the next few weeks they are going to come barging in here." Tony explained, reaching for the scissors.

"So, I thought that we needed an excuse for you living in my house. Since The Woman has left I have been in the market for a new assistant. My new assistant will be you." Tony explained, grabbing a spray bottle, checked the label (just in case), and began to wet down Loki's hair. "First though, we need to make you unrecognizable. So I'm going to cut and dye your hair. When you get your magic back you will be able to change it back but for now this will have to do. I also got you colored contacts so that we can change those pretty eyes of yours."

"Assistant?" Loki asked. The hair and eyes thing made sense, even if he was worried letting Stark do the cutting. The assistant thing worried him though. From his knowledge that meant a lot of contact with the outside world and that would be a struggle.

"Well a different type of assistant from normal. Which having the abnormal is normal for me, so people won't question me. Your "job" will be to make sure I stay healthy and arrive place. Mostly making sure I eat, sleep, bathe and show up. Or at least that is what we will tell people. You don't have to do that if you don't want to." Tony explained as he began cutting. Long tendrils of black hair fell to the floor. Tony spent last night studying how to cut hair, of which he was now an expert. He had even gotten Jarvis to get some fake heads to practice on.

The rest of the makeover they discussed the disguise. They agreed on the name Luke, because it was close to Loki and easier for Tony to remember. As they talked about a back story the hair kept getting shorter and shorter. Soon the scraps were brushed away by dummy (with a lot of cursing from Tony as he got hit with the broom a couple of times) and the dye had been applied.

Tony, always having to be dramatic, did not let Loki see his hair until after his hair had been dried, styled and the contacts were in place. With a flourish the chair was spun around with a 'Ta-da' from Stark. He was blonde. Well not completely. His hair was so light it may as well been white, but there were green at the tips of his hair. The style had been cut short with large bangs and many layers, making it stick up as though it had been ruffled by a hundred pair of hands. His eyes were a light blue and looked incredibly large. Over all Loki didn't dislike the look, but it was quite different from his dark looks.

"Isnt this a bit unprofessional for an assistant?" Loki asked, running his fingers through his bangs. He examined his green tips. Looking up he saw Tony smiling in the mirror.

"Well I figured that people would be talking about that more than they would how much you resemble the megalomaniac that tied to exterminate the world. Do you like it?" Tony acked excitedly.

"Yeah . . . I like it."

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The next chapter has the rest of the Avengers and hopefully will be a little funnier. Like I said, no guarantees.

Screw constructive criticism, only comment if it is a compliment.