All characters and original story/text belong to Stephenie Meyer and I'm not her.
The following Ripple Effect is huge! Remember...everything that follows is because of that one initial changed event and assumes that the characters are capable of being more sensitive and self-aware.
Chapter 17. Alliance--Revisited (Ripple Effect begins on page 371)
Who invited the werewolf?" she griped at me. Oh no! Looking down at her apologetically, I raised my hand.
"Guilty." Great...there was so much going on and he chooses this moment to butt in. I knew that was unkind but I didn't really think we had time for...for whatever Jacob had in mind. And I definitely wasn't sure I was ready or even willing to deal with much more right now. Alice shook her head in disgust.
"Well, you go take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle."
"No, Alice, wait!" I tried to reach for her arm, but she was gone and my hand was left clutching empty air.
"Damn it!" I grumbled.
So this was it. Alice had definitely seen what she'd been waiting for, and I was left to do what? Answer the door? I was aching to follow her and force someone to tell me what was going on. But the thought of Jacob having actually come to the Cullen's house...what was he thinking? I resolutely squared my shoulders, tried to stop the tension from tearing me apart, and walked towards the door. Someone had already opened it and I could see that Jacob was not alone. He was flanked on either side by Quil and Embry looking incredibly tense, their eyes flickering around the room like they'd just walked into a haunted crypt. Embry's trembling hand still held the door, his body half-turned to run for it.
Jacob was the only one who seemed calm. But that was not the emotion registering on his solemn face. I finally reached them and stood in silence for a moment just looking up at him. Thoughts of what Alice had seen fled as a lump grew in my throat. He looked so upset. I wanted him to be upset. I was upset. But...he was still my best friend. Or was he? Did I want that anymore? Did he? Because I knew that I couldn't, I wouldn't handle him trying to make anything more out of our relationship. Not now. Not even if it meant that we couldn't even be friends...as much as the mere thought killed me.
The crowd by the door got a little too congested so I glanced around and spotted some room a little ways away by the far wall. Looking back up at him, I half smiled and inclined my head in that direction. Turning, I made my way across the room, and Jacob followed. When I looked back, I saw the guys still standing near the door. They looked ridiculously terrified and for some reason that tickled me, easing some of the tension I was drowning in. I finally found some room and turned to once again face a very different Jacob. His expression was so completely worried. A brief look told me that he hadn't been sleeping well, either. Part of me was glad. I was still angry at him and at myself. It was easier to be mad at him, though. I didn't have the energy necessary to start thinking about my part in the fault department. Not right now.
I waited for him to say something, but he just stood there. Okay...I guess I'll have to start this ball rolling. Fine.
"You came." I stated baldly. He glanced around and shrugged.
"Yeah. Sorry if...well, if you didn't really want me here any more." I shrugged in reply. Neither of us spoke for a moment. I glanced up at him and couldn't help the reproach I felt from creeping into my eyes. When he saw that, he sort of cringed and looked more pitiful than before.
"God, Bella! I don't know what to say. I tried calling but you didn't...you wouldn't answer the phone. I wanted to talk to you...to tell you...,"
"What?" I interrupted. "That you were sorry? I already knew that, Jacob." I spoke more sharply than I'd intended but, honestly! What good was an apology if he still insisted that all he had to do was keep pressuring me and I'd just fall into his waiting arms? The very idea that he could even think that had me gritting my teeth.
Jacob shook his head, his eyes managing to look even more upset than before.
"But I am sorry, Bella. I am! God! I don't even know what got into me. I can't believe that I...that I...."
"Kissed me against my will? Believe it!" The hurt I felt at what seemed to me to be a betrayal of everything I felt towards Jacob rose up inside me. "You're supposed to be my best friend! You were supposed to be happy that I'm happy! Why can't you be that friend? Why can't you just wish for me to be happy? Haven't I gone through enough without you adding onto everything?" I was ranting and I knew it. Everything just seemed to spill out of me and I knew that my words were practically whipping the overgrown kid in front of me, but I'd been holding it in for so long!
Part of me was whispering that I wasn't being completely fair to Jacob. I had known that he had feelings for me that went beyond mere 'best friend' emotions. And knowing that, I'd still insisted on hanging out with him...an action that was sure to encourage a guy to think that he had a chance, right? But I didn't want to think about that. I wanted him to stop it and stop it for good! I wanted him to know that if he couldn't honestly and completely accept who I was and who I loved...then we were through, no matter what pain that might cause.
Jacob just stood there and took it. He took my glares and my harsh words with his head hung low. And he didn't respond. He just let me say everything that had been held inside and he did so in silence. When I'd finally gotten it all out, I stood there, my eyes filled with tears, breathing heavily.
Finally Jacob broke the silence.
"I can't apologize enough," he said, his voice so low it was hard to hear over the music. I was glad we had moved to this part of the room because we were partially shielded from view by a large ficus tree and I could only imagine what sort of spectacle I had just made. I looked up at Jacob again and I had to admit...he didn't seem to be trying to argue or pretend that he was the injured innocent or anything. But that didn't mean that he wasn't still hoping. And it was that hope that I wanted gone. I sighed and shook my head, which was starting to pound.
"I'm sorry, too," I surprised myself by admitting. "I shouldn't just go off on you like that. I know that. But...," I broke off. What more could be said?
"Bella. I didn't come here to fight and I didn't come here thinking that everything was going to magically be okay. Not after...well. Anyway. I came to make sure that you knew that I really am sorry and that I...I know now." I looked up sharply at him.
"You know what?"
"I know, Bella. I finally get it. I'm not that big of an idiot!" I raised my eyebrows at that. "Okay, okay. I admit that I've been a huge idiot...but I do get it. It may have taken me a lot longer than it should...but I do get it." He smirked down at me, shrugging his shoulders and looking a strange combination of annoyed and apologetic.
"You get what, exactly?" I asked carefully after a few seconds of silence.
"You and...and Edward." Wow! Not 'bloodsucker'? This was new.
"What do you mean, Jacob?" I needed specifics. He sighed and looked back toward the door where two very anxious and large guys stood waiting.
"I'm trying to tell you that...I can't stand the thought of losing you as a friend, Bella! I can't!" He looked so sad, now. So anxious that under any other circumstances, I would have tried to hug him, comfort him. But not now. Instead, I just stood there and waited to hear what he needed to say.
"After I took you home the other day...I felt sick, Bella. God! I never wanted to hurt you! That's the last thing I wanted. When all that stuff was happening with the guys...when I thought I was losing all of my friends and I didn't have a clue what was going on...you were there for me. And I was there for you and I guess...I guess I honestly thought that maybe...that maybe something more could have happened. I wanted more, Bella. But not...not now." Whoa! What was he saying?
"If I thought I really had a chance with you, Bella, I don't know what I wouldn't do to try to win you. But not if it means that I lose you. You're my best friend," his voice cracked unexpectedly, causing the lump in my throat the increase in size dramatically. "Please don't tell me that I ruined that!"
I took a deep breath and tried to steady my own voice. This was unexpected because this boy, this man in front of me...seemed to be 'my Jacob'...the one who had gone missing for quite some time. The one I had begun to fear was lost forever.
"Jacob...," I shook my head. I wanted to believe that he really understood, that he was honestly letting go of any misplaced hope he had had that 'we' could ever be. But how could I do that?
"Please, Bella." He paused and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a small bag of loosely-woven, multi-colored fabric. It was tied shut with leather drawstrings. He held it out and I reluctantly let him place it in my hand, frowning at it. What was this?
"Just a peace-offering...an olive branch, from one friend to another. That's all." He looked so anxious that I accept whatever it was that I bit back my suspicions and examined it more closely. It was very pretty.
"Thank you, Jacob. It's...nice." He attempted a smile, not too successfully, though.
"The present is inside, Bella."
"Oh."
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"Do you really like it?" he asked wistfully. I nodded, still not knowing quite what to think. I wanted to believe that he was really putting his wish for a deeper relationship behind him. That he really valued our friendship more than that. But how could I know for sure? What if he was only saying this so that he could hopefully have another shot later on. I couldn't handle that again. I knew I couldn't.
"It's beautiful, Jacob. Really. Thank you." He smiled a bit more happily.
"I'm glad you like it. I know that it doesn't...that it doesn't make up for...well, for you know. But I want you to know that...I still am your friend, Bella. I'll do anything to earn that back. Whatever you need, or don't need. I just...," he shook his head and spoke again so earnestly. "I want you to know that I am happy for you...that I will do whatever it takes to prove that." He looked determinedly in my eyes. "I mean that, Bella."
I was about to respond when I saw Carlisle talking with Emmett, his face unusually stern. In a flash the seriousness of the current situation was subsumed by the more pressing issue we were all dealing with. I glanced around the room trying to locate Edward or Alice. Jacob must have sensed that I was no longer focused on him and that something was wrong.
"What is it?" Jacob asked, frowning. I shook my head. I needed to get back to Edward. I needed to know what was going on.
"Is something wrong, Bella?" His eyes filled with a different kind of concern.
"It's nothing," I lied, trying to concentrate. Jacob shook his head.
"Bella? Is something going on? Something I need to know about?"
"No! No, there's nothing...."
"You're not a very good liar, Bella. Just tell me what's going on. We want to know these things," he said, slipping into the plural at the end.
He was probably right. The wolves would be very interested in what was happening. And whatever was going on in Jacob's head as far as I was concerned...he still needed to know the situation. Only I wasn't sure just what that was yet. I wouldn't know for sure until I found Alice.
"Jacob, I will tell you. Just let me figure out what's happening, okay? I need to talk to Alice." His eyes lit up with understanding.
"The psychic saw something?"
"Yes. Just when you showed up." Jacob seemed to think about that for a moment before carefully responding.
"Does this have anything to do with that bloods..., that person in your room?" he murmured, pitching his voice below the thrum of the music. I was impressed, despite the tension and the doubts I still had...Jacob seemed to be trying. And that was something.
"It's related," I admitted.
Jacob stared down at me for a moment. The more personal anxiousness I had been seeing in his eyes altered slightly. It was definitely still there, but now he also radiated a more businesslike seriousness. I watched as he turned to catch his pack brothers' eyes. When they saw his expression, they started to make there way towards us, weaving their way agilely through the partiers, almost like they were dancing, too. In half a minute, they stood on either side of Jacob, towering over me. Jacob glanced at the two obviously nervous guys before looking seriously down at me.
"Okay, Bella. Tell us what's going on," his words were a demand, but his eyes were still soft, still ever so slightly worried. I wondered how long this new and improved Jacob would last. I glanced at Quil and Embry who were both looking more than a little confused.
"Jacob, I don't know everything." I glanced searchingly around the room again. I knew they needed and deserved an answer but I didn't know what to tell them.
And then I caught sight of Alice descending the stairs, her white skin glowing in the purple light. Finally!
"Alice!" I squeaked in relief.
Her eyes met mine immediately and I watched her face as she took in the three werewolves leaning over me. Her eyes narrowed. But, before that reaction, I had seen the fear and stress shining out of her eyes. What had she seen? I bit my lip nervously as she skipped to my side.
Quil and Embry cringed away from her slightly, uneasy expressions on their faces. However, Jacob managed to hold it together. He looked more stern...but I could tell that, for whatever reason, he was actually trying to remain calm and act more...normal around at least this one tiny representative of the Cullen family.
Alice put her arm around my waist.
"I need to talk to you," she murmured in my ear. I looked up at Jacob. He was being so good...patient, even. I sighed.
"Alice...I told Jacob we would tell him what's going on. He deserves to know, doesn't he?" I was only trying to do the right thing but I could tell it annoyed Alice. I glanced up at Jacob again and saw a tiny flicker of hope on his face. Not the hope I dreaded seeing. It seemed more like hope in our friendship. At least that's what I was telling myself. I hoped to God I wasn't wrong to trust this.
Jacob held his peace while the other two pack brothers looked more confused and concerned than ever. Evidently this more calm and rational Jacob was hard for them to understand, too. Alice's arm shifted around my waist and I saw her look oddly up at the leader of the trio before us.
Jacob suddenly looked up and away from us and I turned to see Jasper, frowning, strolling our way through the crowd. Just seeing him not freaking out, taking his time to reach Alice's side...that told me a lot about what was going on inside my large friend. With a sigh of relief, I was able to look back at Alice and encourage her to let us all off the hook. Any more suspense would make my head explode at the juncture. Jasper took up his stance behind Alice and me, radiating the calm I for one really appreciated.
"Alice," I began after a moment of awkward silence. "What did you see?"
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"Hold it," Jacob interrupted, his voice controlled, serious. "What is coming?"
Alice turned and looked up at Jasper, an odd expression on her face. After a second, she looked up at Jacob, her voice much less sharp than usual.
"Our kind," she said, the worry she was feeling dancing across her elven face. "Lots of them."
"Why?" Jacob asked in horror.
"For Bella. That's all we know." Jacob looked down at me, a bewildered expression on his dark face. Then he glanced from Jasper to Alice again.
"There are too many for you to handle?" he asked. Jasper stood a little straighter and looked Jacob in the eye, considering.
"We have a few advantages. It should be an even fight." I watched as Jasper's eyes met and held Jacob's for a long moment. It seemed to me that something changed in the way Jasper felt towards the wolf. What was going on?
"No," Jacob said, interrupting my thoughts. A strange, fierce half-smile spread across his face. "It won't be even."
"Excellent!" Alice hissed. I stared in wonder at Alice's new expression. Her face was alive with exultation, all the despair wiped clean from her perfect features. Then, miracle of miracles, she grinned at Jacob...and he grinned back.
"Alice! What's going on?" I asked in complete confusion.
"Everything just disappeared, of course," she told us in a smug voice. "That's inconvenient, but, all things considered, I'll take it."
"We have to coordinate," Jacob said. "It won't be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours." Alice grimaced up at him.
"I wouldn't go that far, but we definitely need the help, so we aren't going to be picky."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait," I interrupted them.
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"Wait, Jake! I called after him. "Why, why are you doing this?" He paused, turning back to smile ruefully down at me while Quil and Embry headed impatiently for the door.
"Don't worry Bella. This is why we are the way we are," he said, gesturing towards his brothers. "This is what we do. What I need to do. And there's another thing, too," he paused, a odd smile, boyish and charming on his face. "I want to show you that I can work with your new...friends. I can do this, Bella. We can all do this...together." He grinned suddenly and was gone.
It hit me as I watched the door close just what it was that he was saying. He had told me that he would do anything to prove that he wanted to salvage our friendship. I glanced down at the little trinket he had given me and realized in that moment that he had managed to give me a great deal more. He had given me hope that my old best friend would continue to be just that. And that there was just a whisper of a chance that that friendship might just bridge the gap between the wolves and the Cullens.
(End of Chapter 17)
Okay--that's the enormous ripple effect, as I see it, for chapter 17. What do you think?
