She pulled the leather jacket tighter around her thin frame, her wavy hair blowing around her face as she knocked lightly on the white door. Never in a million years did she think she would be standing on Rachel Gattina's doorstep in the middle of the night…especially after the incident last year at the Sparkle Classic. God that girl could be a grade A bitch…she seemed to say screw the consequences as long as she gets the right end result…who cares how many lives she screws up in the process, who cares about people feelings, as long as Rachel gets what she wants. 'Reminds me of someone else…' she chided herself as soon as the thought appeared, and she quickly shoved it out of her head. Who was she to criticize her once best friend, she was the one that screwed up, so what right did she have to point the finger at any one else? She was torn from her thoughts when the porch light came on and the front door swung open.
"Well, well…what are you doing here…" she stared in the fiery eyes of her ex best friend…the girl she had been sisters with for ten years. "…I thought you would be busy screwing MY boy…"
"First…he's not a pair shoes Brooke…he doesn't belong to you…he never did. Second…you broke up with him…" the blonde raised a brow as pain flashed briefly in the chocolate eyes across from her.
"Yeah, and he went running to you so you could make it all better…" there was an obvious strain in her voice. She hated to admit it, but she was hurting. Brooke had always been good with hiding her emotion…but when it came to Lucas Scott…he was the one boy she actually let in and he trampled on her heart over and over again…there was no denying it hurt.
"And he spent the entire time crying about you..." Peyton gave a frustrated sigh as she ran her thin fingers through her hair, pulling it from out of her face for a moment only for it to fall right back in front of her eyes. "Just…get back with Lucas…you never should have broken up with him in the first place…"
"I thought you would be happy…" she doesn't let the shock of Peyton's words show on her face, she refuses to open up to her only to get hurt again. It doesn't matter whether it's intentional…all that matters is that it's inevitable. "This is what you wanted, isn't it…"
"Why would I want this…" the blonde shook her head lightly. "I never asked you to break up with him Brooke…"
"I didn't break up with him for you…I wouldn't do that for you…maybe if you actually mattered, but the thing is…you don't matter Peyton…you're nothing to me…" she waited for the blonde's tears, but they never came, there was no flash of pain, no feeling of hurt lingering in the air…just the same cold look on her face…on both of their faces.
"Fine…I don't care why you did it…but if you're this bitter over the break-up then you must not have wanted it…so take it back…it's not too late…"
"Why are you so persistent with this…you got what you wanted…"
"Why would I want this…" Confusion was apparent of both of their faces, neither one of them able to follow the other's thought…ten years as best friends and suddenly neither one of them could read the other. "…why would I want you two to break up…so he can be alone?"
"No…so he can be free…so he can be with you…" she said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and to her it was. To Brooke it was simple…there was no more her and Lucas, therefore there could now be a Peyton and Lucas…and they could both do this guilt free…and maybe, just maybe, her heart wouldn't break as badly this time around.
"He doesn't love me Brooke…he loves you…he's in love with you. Why are you so blind…Lucas is crazy about you…" it killed her to say those words, to stand out there in the cold and admit that the boy she can't stop loving is in love with someone else. "…it's why he spent so much time fighting for you…" she took a deep breath as she ran her hands roughly over her face. Brooke's face involuntarily softened as she watched the tears slide slowly down Peyton's cheeks. The brunette kept her own tears at bay, but the more she watched the blonde try and wipe hers away, the harder it became to keep her own face dry. "…why he forgave you after the whole mess with Chris…why he's so quick to tell everyone that Brooke Davis is the one for him…"
"Then why is he so quick to run to you…" Why couldn't Peyton just see things the way she did? It was so painfully obvious to her who had Luke's heart…it was the girl he was always saving…the girl he was so willing to open up to…the curly headed ex best friend in front of her that he had up on some unreachable pedestal. "….you say 'ow' and here comes Lucas…more like there goes Lucas. Do you have any idea how many times I had to watch or listen to my boyfriend worry about you…."
"I'm sorry Brooke…" what was she supposed to say to that…she wasn't sorry that Lucas was there for her…but she was sorry that it hurt Brooke. But either way she can't speak for Lucas…she can't explain his actions…all she knows is that although his priorities might get severely screwed up every now and then…his feelings are obvious…no matter how much Peyton hopes…she knows without a doubt who he considers a friend and who he considers more.
"Well now he can run off and save you all he wants, and he doesn't have to worry about me…that's just the way you two want it." She bit back tears and her face grew cold again as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Despite what you think Brooke…I never wanted you two to break up…" her voice was light as she spoke…vulnerability had never been one of her strong suits. "You were right…when I told you how I felt about Lucas, I was being selfish. I was thinking about myself and trying to avoid the pain I felt last year…"
"You…" the brunette scoffed loudly as she looked incredulously at the girl in front of her. "How the hell did you feel pain last year…"
"It did hurt me Brooke…you have no idea how much it killed me to have to watch you two together. By telling you I was hoping that maybe I could avoid it…that maybe you wouldn't try and force us to all hang out together…that you wouldn't suddenly turn into captain oblivious when the three of us were out somewhere and I wanted to leave. And this time around, we were living together Brooke…in the same room. I didn't wanna go home…to the one place I go to escape everything and have to see you two making out on the bed…being the cute and perfect couple you are." The brunette's face had once again softened as the words sunk in. "Brooke, I can take you talking to me about how much you love him…and I can take you coming to me with your relationship problems…and I have no problem trying to help you solve those problems…but I can't take watching you two…I can't listen to him talk about how much he loves you, because it hurts too much…" She bit her bottom lip with her eyes shut tightly. She took a deep breath before shoving past Brooke and going into the house. She made her way over to the side table and grabbed the phone, her hands dialing an all too familiar number before placing the phone in Brooke's hands. "Brooke, just swallow your damn pride…" the blonde forced a small smile as she continued. "…say you were wrong…apologize and tell him that you love him and it was a mistake breaking up with him…tell him that you need him and you still wanna be with him." She didn't wait for the brunette to respond, instead she walked quickly out of the house. She may be willing and may even push for it to happen, but that doesn't mean her hearts not breaking with each step she takes. Brooke watches her leave, a single tear rolling down the brunette's cheek.
"Hello…" she could hear his voice echoing faintly through the receiver. With a shaky hand she lifted the cordless phone to her ear.
"Hi…" she doesn't know what else to say him…she doesn't have the slightest idea about what to do next.
"Brooke…" she can hear the hope in his voice…the happiness, and she can't stop the smile that spreads across her lips. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you…"
"I know…" there was silence between them again…neither knowing what to say. He was so happy that she called, but he wouldn't allow himself to jump to conclusion, he had no idea as to why she was calling in the first place.
"I'm sorry about everything…I really am. I never meant to shut you out of my life…" he was pleading to her…he had shifted from laying back comfortably on his bed to sitting upright and rigid, thinking that it would somehow make a difference.
"I know…" Brooke Davis at a loss for words…never in her life had she imagined this would happen, she was always quick on her feet and normally she talked too much, but as she watched her ex-best friend's retreating figure through the window, listened to her ex-boyfriend's irregular breathing…she couldn't think of a single thing to say.
"Please…Brooke…please just give me another chance, I'll do it right this time…I'll fix this…us…I'll fix us…"
"You can't…" she could hear her voice cracking as the tears fell harder. She would love to just hang up the phone, but that would only prolong the conversation. "I can't…"
"I'll do anything Brooke…how can I prove that you can trust me…" Why couldn't it be that easy? She contemplated asking him to stop seeing Peyton…asking him to cut her out of his life…but she couldn't do that to either one of them…the two of them were the rocks for everyone in Tree Hill, but seemed to only let in each other. She wouldn't be responsible for taking that away from them…even if she swore she didn't care about the backstabbing bitch that just left the house. But more importantly, it wouldn't solve the problem, because Peyton only served as her excuse. Peyton loved him…there was no denying that anymore…she had to love him if she was willing to give him up just for his happiness. Brooke had been willing to give him up too…right after the shooting, she had been more than willing to sacrifice her happiness for his…when had things changed. "Brooke…"
"I stopped missing you…I think I fell out of love with you and I don't know when…but I did…" she wasn't really speaking to him, more to herself, but he had heard the words and wound up with his heart broken even more than it already was. "I'm sorry…" she bit the bottom of her lip as she cast her eyes down to the wooden floor underneath her feet. She hadn't meant for it to come out that way, but she had gotten so lost in her thoughts and forgot the phone was in her hand.
"I…" how was he supposed to respond to that…what do you say when the girl you love says that she stopped missing you. Nothing. You say nothing because no words can change it or take it back…it's just the way it is. "I wish things were different…that we…that I had done things differently. I wish that we hadn't gotten to this point….that the timing was somehow better."
"Me too…" a nostalgic smile found its way onto her lips. "But there's never a right time to say goodbye…"
"I guess not…I'm sorry" She nods even though he can't see her, but he knows. "I love you Pretty Girl." He might accept it, but that doesn't mean he likes it.
"Bye Luke…" she shuts her eyes tightly as she hangs the phone up and cradles it against her chest. She might understand that there's no way around it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
