A/N: Hi, everybody! *quickly ducks to hide behind chair*

I know, I know! This is extremely LONG overdue...you have no idea how much this was killing me inside...D:

I was really unable to post this chapter until today. I've been so busy with everything—school, homework, piano, and ten hours of theater directing a week—that it was so difficult to update. I'm so sorry to everyone who's been following this fanfiction. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I can keep my promise that I'll try.

forgivemeplz?

And, yeah...it's May now and all, so this obviously isn't going to finish before April. *sigh* Darn busy life...

Well, I'll let you get on with the chapter, then. :D A little shorter than usual, since I got up early to write this before I have to leave for school.


Fang could be so evil sometimes, Vanille reflected, attempting to stifle her giggles in vain as she skipped back up the stairs to the second floor. Halfway up the steps, she twirled about and put her hands on her hips, facing her companion, who had only just reached the bottom of the stairs.

"That," Vanille announced, "was very mean, Fang."

The other woman glanced up at her, mouth still curled in amusement. She spread her hands in what was supposed to be an innocently helpless gesture, but the purely demonic smirk on her face ruined it somewhat. "Hey, don't blame me, Missy. This is Light we're talking about."

Vanille giggled and skipped back downstairs, hands clasped over her mouth. "That was hilarious, Fang! But so mean all the same."

Fang grinned affectionately at her and tucked a lock of coral hair behind the girl's ear. "She's going to raise hell, you wait and see. But it was darn well worth it."

Vanille laughed, shaking her head. "Where are you going to hide?"

"That's a question well asked." Fang raised her head, her gaze passing with apparent nonchalance over her surroundings. "Don't know yet. Maybe I'll go and camp out with Snow and his Team NORA buffoons for a bit. Knowing that heroic oaf, he'll probably be stupid enough to charge headlong in front of Lightning before she attacks me. I think we can all easily spare Snow as cannon fodder, should the need arise." She winked.

Vanille giggled into her hands. "Fang, you're evil!"

"Hey, so are you. You didn't try to stop me when I pranked Light, did you? Just stood there and laughed. You're still just as culpable, girlie. I wouldn't be surprised if Lightning hung up your dead body right alongside mine on her bedroom door."

The other girl's only response was laughter, once more. "We'd better run and hide, then, Fang."

"Good idea. Let's split up. Makes it harder for Light to locate both of us at the same time."

Vanille grinned mischievously. "She's probably only looking for you, though."

And she darted away, before Fang could do more than indignantly shout, "Hey!"

"See you!" Vanille called blithely, fleeing upstairs. "Take care of yourself, Fang!" Her words were followed by a carefree giggle that lingered in the stairwell for a while after she'd left.

Fang sighed and shook her head, putting her hands on her hips. However, her lips were curved into a smile of amusement. As long as Vanille was happy, the dark-haired warrior was willing to let the younger girl enjoy her little jokes...even at her own expense.

Well, then. Better get started escaping before Sunshine finds me and initiates her rampage.

She turned and hurried back down the hall the way she'd come, intending to seek out Snow (she actually hadn't been kidding about using him as cannon fodder in the possibility of a Lightning-induced rampage).

Before she reached the end, however, there was a disturbance in the universe.

...Namely, a disturbance in the form of a hyperactive afro-toting six-year-old and his chocobo companion skidding out from around the corner without warning and nearly crashing into Fang.

"Whoa!" Fang stumbled backwards, knocked off balance. "Watch yourself, kid!"

Dajh beamed up at Fang, undeterred.

"HI, AUNT FANG!!!"

"Hey, Dajh." Fang righted herself and patted the child's voluminous hair, smiling when her fingers bumped against a second head. The chocobo chick surfaced, twittering indignantly, and floated down to perch on Dajh's shoulder.

"You two are up early," Fang observed, shifting her weight to one hip. "What are the pair of you up to?"

Dajh giggled and clapped his little hands gleefully together.

"We're gonna go find a biiiig Pulse monster!" he proclaimed. "And we're gonna defeat it, too, and bring it back for Daddy and Lightning!"

Fang suppressed a chuckle as she looked down at the earnestly grinning child.

"Quite the heroes, aren't you? Well, don't let me get in your way. Go on, and make sure you show me that 'biiiig Pulse monster' later, too. I don't want to be left out of all of the fun."

"Don't worry, Aunt Fang!" The six-year-old puffed out his little chest fearlessly. "I'll save everyone!"

Fang couldn't stop the snicker that escaped from her lips; she swore, the little one was becoming more and more like Snow every passing day.

"Oh, and guess what?" Dajh piped up cheerfully.

"What?" Fang glanced down amusedly at the toddler.

"UNCLE HOPE'S WEARING A DRESS TODAY!!"

And with that, the toddler zoomed past her and down the hallway, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

...as well as a very confused Fang with many, many questions to ask. Oh, so many questions.

xxXxx

Lightning skidded down the hall, swerved dangerously around the corner, barely missing the edge of the wall, and tore towards the stairs, ablaze with rage.

Once I find Fang....

Lightning's teeth connected solidly, grinding together in barely controlled fury. At her sides, her hands tightened into fists, viciously throttling the air, as if she'd like to do the same to Fang's neck.

At the end of the hallway, a figure suddenly appeared.

Lightning's wild eyes widened. Through the lurid red mist of bloodlust that had suddenly pervaded her senses, the figure instantly took on the shape and form of Fang before her eyes.

Fang. Must. Die!

Her jaw tightened, and she charged towards the figure, screaming insanely.

The figure whipped around to face her, eyes instantly dilating in horror as they registered the berserk soldier, and began screeching in terror.

"LIGHTNING! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!"

The high-pitched scream cut through to Lightning's ears, and the bloodlust faded from her gaze. Lightning suddenly found herself standing six feet away from Snow, glaring maniacally upwards at the quaking man, her Blazefire Saber raised over her head and poised to strike.

"W-what the hell, Light?!" Snow spluttered hysterically, arms raised protectively over his face. "I'm just coming down the hallway, and then you come charging at me like—"

He gesticulated wildly with his hands, unable to find any words to sufficiently describe his sister-in-law. He finally settled on sputtering, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

The horrified squeak in his voice finally struck in Lightning's mind.

Slowly, she lowered her gunblade to a less threatening position, her temporarily fled senses flooding back to her. The insane fury she'd experienced before drained away, to be replaced by a profound sense of exhaustion and guilt.

Lightning shook her head, closing her eyes briefly. What, indeed, had she been thinking?

Thank Etro it was only Snow. If it had been anyone else...

She shuddered to think of being found in such an undignified state by anyone else except for Snow, who was constantly so undignified it didn't matter.

Lightning's hatred for Fang returned in full force.

Fang was the cause of this. She was to blame.

Lightning shook her head, realizing her thoughts were beginning to spiral out of control once more. She returned her gaze to the still-quivering Snow.

"I'm sorry, Snow. I—thought you were someone else."

"What? Me?" Snow glanced down at himself. "I don't think you can possibly mistake me for someone else, unless it was Gadot."

"No. Not Gadot. Fang." Lightning sighed, allowing the back of her hand to rest against her forehead.

"Fang—?"

Snow raised an eyebrow, inviting further explanation.

"Yes, Fang," Lightning snarled, narrowing her eyes at Snow, who immediately returned to a defensive position. The mere mention of the name instantly induced the resurgence of her loathing. "I suggest that if you don't want to be beaten to a pulp and smashed mercilessly against the wall, you will cease intruding in my affairs and go back to whatever you were doing."

Snow hesitantly approached Lightning and placed a cautious hand on her shoulder.

"Light...you know Serah loves you. She hates seeing you unhappy...it makes her unhappy. And...if she's unhappy, I'm unhappy. We're family now, Sis. You should be able to talk to us."

"Interfering in my business is not talking to my family," Lightning said coldly, drawing herself upright and moving away from Snow. "Get out of my way."

Snow held up his hands in deference, surrendering to Lightning.

"Okay, Sis. Have it your way. But you know you can talk to us whenever you like." He paused, giving the tense-framed Lightning a sidelong glance. "Hey...you know...if it was Fang, I wouldn't get too worked up. She does this stuff all the time; it's kind of her thing."

Lightning glared at him, and it took every ounce of Snow's courage not to quail under her forceful gaze. "Says the idiot who threw a temper fit this morning over a prank that Fang orchestrated."

Snow winced, his jaw tightening slightly as he recalled the incident. "Oh, yeah. I'm still kind of mad about that—"

So much for not getting too worked up.

"This needs to stop." Lightning turned away from him and walked down the hallway, concealing the vengeful irritation simmering near her surface beneath her customary cold exterior.

Fang. That fal'Cie cursed fiend....Just wait until I find her.

"Hey!" Snow called from several paces behind her. "Where're you going?"

"To find Fang," Lightning muttered bitterly, sweeping towards the stairs.

"Wait up, then!" Snow called, hurrying to catch up with her. "I—I want to come, too!"

"What?" Lightning turned to face him, hands on hips.

Snow skidded to a stop. Glancing sheepishly down, he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Uh...you see...I'm still kind of ticked off about that whole bathroom prank...I mean, it was a really mean thing to do...and really embarrassing to clean up, and everything—"

"Oh, shut up!" Lightning snapped, cutting him off. "You'll only get in my way."

"No, I won't!" Snow vigorously shook his head. "Whatever you've got planned to get revenge against Fang, I'm all for it."

Lightning narrowed her eyes at him, considering the unexpected offer of alliance.

"...Fine," she relented after a moment's pause. "You can come. But," she added, leveling a threatening finger at his face, "if you screw up once, just once, you'll find yourself wishing you were Fang."

Snow nodded vehemently. "All right, Sis!"

Lightning sighed and turned away, rubbing her forehead wearily as she wondered what exactly she had gotten herself into.

"Come on, then."

xxXxx

Vanille, leaning over the side of the banister, withdrew her head and crouched down in the shadow of the stairs, giggling quietly.

Oh, Fang was going to get it.

Of course, Vanille hadn't missed the amusing exchange between Lightning and Snow belowstairs on the first floor. So Lightning and Snow were teaming up and plotting revenge against Fang, now?

This was going to be pure and utter chaos.

Fun to watch, anyhow.

Vanille covered her mouth with both hands and quickly peered over the side of the banister once more. Lightning and Snow had disappeared.

Probably gone to look for Fang...

Vanille briefly considered warning Fang, but then decided against it. This would be so much more fun if both parties were unaware of what the other was doing.

"HI, AUNTIE VANILLE!!!"

Vanille nearly leaped clear out of her skin. She whirled around, only to crash into Dajh, who immediately bounced back, beaming widely.

"Dajh!" Vanille smiled and leaned down, stroking his hair. "You startled me, you silly little boy!"

Dajh giggled, his eyes crinkling in laughter, and hugged Vanille around the legs. Within the family, he was most affectionate with Sazh, Lightning, Serah, and Vanille.

"I saw Aunt Fang, Vanille!"

"Did you?" Vanille smiled. "What was she doing?"

"She asked me to bring her back a big Pulse monster!" Dajh straightened proudly to his full three feet and ten inches of height.

"And I'm sure you'll do just that." Vanille tapped the six-year-old's nose fondly. Suddenly, she stood up, putting a hand to her chin as she frowned in thought. "Wait a moment....aren't you supposed to still be asleep?"

"NOPE!" Dajh proclaimed. Lowering his voice to an exaggerated whisper, he confided to Vanille, "I snuck out while Daddy was asleep!"

"...Oh."

xxXxx

In the safety of his bedroom, Sazh shifted restlessly and turned in his sleep.

"Dajh, don't tease the chocobo," he muttered drowsily, and slept again.

xxXxx

"And Daddy doesn't know that Dajh is awake!" the six-year-old finished gleefully.

Vanille tapped her fingers on her chin in consideration, swinging back and forth. "Aren't you afraid your daddy will worry about you?"

Dajh wrinkled his nose in a frown as this new thought occurred to him. "Daddy knows I'll be okay!" he proclaimed at last, brushing off all doubts with his usual childlike self-assurance.

Vanille giggled. "If you say so!"

"Oh, and Auntie Vanille!" Dajh bounced up and down. "I saw Uncle Hope in the kitchen!"

Vanille tilted her head curiously. "But Light said he'd lost his pants....Hope was looking for pants in the kitchen?"

"No!" Dajh shook his head. "He was freezing toothbrushes!"

This statement was so unexpected, Vanille was left utterly speechless. She blinked several times.

"... Freezing...toothbrushes?"

"Yep!" Dajh nodded and skipped in place. "Something about a prank, and Snow...."

Vanille had to wonder whether the loss of his pants had somehow caused Hope to take leave of his senses. She shrugged it off, not dwelling for too long on the subject. Oh well.

Dajh was still rambling on, completely unaware that his audience's thoughts had drifted elsewhere. "And I was afraid the toothbrushes would get too cold, and then they'd get hyper—hypo—hi-something—"

Hmm...I'd like to see what Hope comes up with...a prank involving freezing toothbrushes....

"Dajh!" Vanille suddenly exclaimed, causing the six-year-old to jump with a cry of surprise, interrupting himself in the midst of his rambling. She leaned down and excitedly addressed Dajh. "Do you know what day it is today?"

Dajh stared back at her with large, innocently questioning eyes.

"...My birthday?"

Vanille laughed. "No, not that. It's April Fool's Day! That means we can go play pranks on people! You know, play tricks on them and confuse them! It's a lot of fun! That's what everybody else is doing today!"

"Oh!" Dajh exclaimed, quickly catching on. "Let's do that too, Auntie Vanille!"

Vanille giggled and clapped her hands together. "All right, Dajh! Now who do we play it on?"

"Hmm...." Dajh mulled this over for a few moments. Suddenly, he brightened.

"DADDY!"

The coral-haired teenager burst into laughter. "That's evil, Dajh!" she cried, before adding, "But that's pure genius! We can play a prank on Sazh!"

Excitedly, she took the child's hands and swung him around several times, giggling, before setting him safely back down on his feet.

"Now...what's going to be our prank?"

Dajh considered her question for a few minutes, before piping up, "Daddy painted the balcony recently. It's all white paint, and he's really proud of it."

"Yes!" Vanille crowed, leaping upwards. "That's perfect! You're a genius, Dajh! I have the idea for the perfect prank!"

She bent down and took his hand, walking him to the stairs. "You go ahead down to the balcony first, Dajh," she told him. "I'm going to get some stuff that we're going to need for our prank first. Go on! Meet you down there!"

Vanille hurried down the hallway, grinning to herself. Her green eyes were full of pure, mischievous intent.

Not even Fang could have planned better herself!

xxXxx

Lightning loved children, she really did.

...Well, sort of.

Failing, that, she loved Dajh especially. Dajh was a sweet kid; everyone adored him. Of course, the entire family spoiled him to high heaven, but he was so adorable that no one minded his occasional whining, as all six-year-olds are wont to do.

However, when said six-year-old is standing directly in one's path when one is ablaze with vengeance and ready to hunt down and murder one's tormentor, and refuses to budge an inch whatsoever, well...one tends to react not-so-favorably.

As Lightning was very close to demonstrating.

"And Vanille just went to find some stuff, and she told me to go to the balcony, and..."

Dajh's insistent high-pitched chatter was like a fly buzzing in her ears. Lightning pushed her hand wearily against her forehead.

Oh, for the love of Etro....

"Dajh, sweetie," she interrupted for the umpteenth time, ever-so-slightly grinding her teeth. "If Vanille told you to wait for her at the balcony, don't you think you should go there?"

"But Dajh likes talking to Lightning!" Dajh protested, and threw his arms around Lightning's legs.

From behind Lightning, Snow snickered.

Lightning shot her ally her fiercest glare. "Shut up, Snow," she hissed.

I'm going to have to speak with Vanille. I've noticed that Dajh keeps switching to the third person and hugging people whenever he's begging for favors or trying to be sweet. As if it's supposed to be cute or something. No doubt Vanille taught him that...

Dajh hugged Lightning tighter.

"Doesn't Lightning like Dajh, too?" he whimpered like an abandoned cub, with a pleading expression in his large brown eyes that would have melted the coldest of hearts to a puddle.

Don't look at him, don't look at him...

Lightning couldn't help but glance down at the six-year-old clinging to the lower half of her body. A fatal mistake, as it turned out.

...Dang it.

Lightning sighed, her shoulders slumping down, and relented.

"Yes, Dajh, I love you too," she grumbled.

Dajh beamed up at her. "YAY!!!" he squealed, and hugged her once more before turning to Snow and throwing his arms up in the air. "Up, up!" he demanded.

Snow laughed. "All right, fine, you little tyrant. Up you go!" He effortlessly lifted Dajh, giggling and squirming, onto his shoulder, holding him securely there with one arm.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "You drop that kid, Snow, and you'll have a hell of a lot of trouble once Sazh finds out."

Snow flashed a grin at her. "Relax, Sis. I can take care of the kid. You're a strong little soldier, aren't you?" he asked Dajh, who nodded happily. "Strong enough to be my best NORA fighter someday!"

"Oh, no, you don't." Lightning whipped around and pointed a finger at Snow. "I don't need you training that kid into becoming a second Snow Villiers under this roof, thank you."

Snow looked offended. "You mean you don't consider me a role model?"

"Stop trying to act cute, Snow. Last time I checked, you were twenty-one, not two."

Snow heaved a dramatic sigh and set Dajh back on his feet.

"Run along then, kid," he told him. "Go wherever Vanille told you to go."

"Okay!" Dajh smiled and toddled off, waving. "Bye, Uncle Snow! Bye, Aunt Lightning!"

Yes, Lightning did love Dajh. However, she couldn't stop the sigh of relief that escaped her lips after he'd disappeared from view.

The soldier turned to face Snow.

"Hurry up, Snow. We've already wasted enough time as it is. I'm not planning to hang around until Fang finds us and executes something even more destructive."

Snow sighed.

"All right, fine. Keep your hair on, I'm coming."