Author's note: I can't believe all the positive response I've gotten to the first two chapters of this story, and I want to thank all of you for your kind words of encouragement. It really means a lot to know there are so many people out there who enjoy my writing. Hopefully, you'll all stay with me, and follow Bella through her struggle. Thank you all for reading! This part is kind of short, but look out for the next one. It'll be up soon!
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I doubt that I've ever moved as fast as when I threw myself at my gym bag and pulled out my perfume bottle. Spraying some on me, I went on to shove a few chewing gums into my mouth, and then threw the rest back on the drawer. Just then, the door flew open and there he appeared in the doorway.
I felt my face flush as Edward walked up to the bed, beaming with joy. The blood was pumping through him, offering color to his skin and a lightness to his eyes, and his smile was as wide as an ocean. He sat down next to me and wrapped his strong arms around my body; all the while I desperately wished he wouldn't pick up on Jasper's scent. He held me and placed a kiss on my forehead, lovingly letting me know how happy he was to see me.
"I can't be without you even for one night without going crazy."
A surge of guilt struck my gut.
"How'd the hunt go?" I asked to change the subject.
Letting go of me, his face displayed a look of wild enthusiasm as his gaze moved to watch some distant scene in his mind. I found it hard to look him in the eye and prayed he was still too dazed by the blood to notice my awkward behavior.
"It was amazing. You should have seen the stars, Bella, you would've loved it. There's really nothing that can beat hunting under a clear night sky, soaring against the wind, jumping from branch to branch and seeing the people you love smile beside you."
He looked at me, returned to present time and place, and asked: "How have you been?"
"Oh, you know," I mumbled. "Sound asleep."
"I bet you're hungry now, too?"
I nodded and allowed him to lead me by the hand down the stairs and into the kitchen, where the others had gathered. Carlisle and Esme stood holding each other in a warm embrace, soft smiles playing upon their faces; Emmet was just telling Jasper about his chase after a wild boar and how it fought frantically as he bit down on it (I shuddered at the thought of this); Alice was sitting by the table, bent deep down over a drawing, and Rosalie stood idly by, watching me and Edward as we entered the room.
My throat closed as my eyes fell upon Jasper's beautiful face; though he made no sign of recognition toward me. He simply stood there, silent and probably indifferent to Emmet's story; his hands behind his back and eyes turned away from me.
As Edward went to the fridge to prepare me some eggs, Alice's gaze lifted from her sketchbook and fluttered across my face. It made me realize, with a shock of horror, that Edward wasn't my only concern in all of this. Not only had Jasper and I gone behind both of their backs, but there was also the very unnerving possibility that Alice had already seen it happen in one of her visions. And, if it were so, what if Edward saw it in her mind?
If I wasn't struggling so hard to act normal, I'd probably fall to my knees right there on the kitchen floor. I grabbed hold of the counter to keep my balance, feeling like everything was already lost. How on earth was I supposed to get out of this mess?
Jasper must've sensed my distress – even though he still acted unaware of my presence – because just then that familiar calm swept over me and I regained steadiness. He gave me a quick look to make sure I was okay and then went back to appear as indifferent as the moment before.
Edward was standing by the stove now, fiddling with the heat, displaying a slightly perplexed gaze. Though he'd cooked for me a few times already, he still hadn't quite gotten the hang of it. Carlisle helped him with the heat, cracked the two eggs in the pan and shoved the spatula into his hands, giving him an ironic smile as he did so.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom and hastily left the kitchen. Locking the door behind me, I stared at my weary reflection and splashed some cold water on my face. I was hoping it'd bring me out of this nightmare, but my plan didn't work out as well as I'd hoped it would. So I went to the toilet, washed my hands and threw a last glance at the girl in the mirror. Then I unlocked the door and went out.
And crashed into a long, slender body, nearly bumping my forehead into his chin. 'Not this,' I thought, 'dear God, why are you doing this to me?'
Jasper had wrapped his arm around my waist to keep me from falling and was now staring into my face, his lips parted and a look of surprise in his stunning eyes. I drew in his smell and shivered with pleasure, wishing I could just lean in and kiss him, but instead I quickly slunk out of his grip.
"Are you ...?"
"I'm fine," I said, decisively turning my back on him.
God, I wanted so badly to stay in his arms; to feel him wrap around me and kiss my lips. But I knew I couldn't – and so I returned to the kitchen where breakfast was already made and served. Edward stood expectant next to a drawn out chair and bade me to have a seat. I poured some juice and took a bite of toast.
My feelings of panic and distress were starting to reemerge.
How in lord's name was I going to fix this?
