The Shop Girl

Red's Department Store was one of the city's most exclusive and expensive department stores. It was here that both Monet and Pietra were skulking about. "Here we are, sneaking up on her," Pietra grinned.

"Do you really think this is such a good idea?" Monet asked.

"Oh shut up," Pietra snapped. She saw the back side of a woman in a black dress and a long blonde wig. "What do you think of that?"

"Is that her?" Monet whispered.

"Only one way to find out," Pietra grinned as they walked up to her. "Hello?"

She turned around. It was Lucid in a blonde wig. "Can I help you?" He said. "Or better yet can you please help me by shooting me?"

"Uh no…From the neck up I'd say no," Pietra grumbled as they moved away. "Unless Summer's tastes have changed to warty and gruesome."

"What about her?" Monet pointed to Althea in a black dress also behind a counter.

"No, we're looking for a blonde," Pietra shook his head. "Hold on, I think we might have something. How about baby over here?" They moved to the next blonde in their sight.

However it turned out to be Xi in a blonde wig and a black dress. "Xiana!" Althea said. "You have another customer!"

"What is it with Red Witch and cross dressing lately?" Monet snorted. "Okay most of these so called women are dogs. That Althea one is the only half decent one here. I wonder how Summers missed her?"

"I just figured it out," Pietra pointed to Emma Frost in a black dress behind a counter. "Pay dirt!"

"Well she does fit the Joan Crawford role," Monet admitted. "And I know they both hate wire hangers."

Emma went into the back room with Xiana. "Look I need you to get up to my apartment and cook dinner!" She told Xiana.

"But I have a date tonight," Xiana preened.

"Will wonders never cease?" Emma raised an eyebrow. "Break it! Come on!"

"But I'm noted for the bad way that I cook," Xiana said. "Okay I'm no Kitty Pryde but still…"

"If you throw a pork chop into a hot oven, what's gonna keep it from getting cooked?" Emma threw up her hands.

"You'd be surprised," Althea quipped as she walked in. "Whatever happened to that hot date you had tonight?"

"It's hotter than ever dear!" Emma said. "Tonight I'm having him dine at my place. It's about time he found out I was a homebody."

"You?" Althea snorted. "Why don't you borrow a pack of triplets for the evening. I know where you can get a set cheap!"

"Because I'm all the baby he needs!" Emma said proudly.

"If I do this you have to pay me," Xiana told Emma.

"I'll pay you fifty dollars," Emma said.

"A hundred," Xiana said.

"Fifty and that's final!" Emma bristled.

"You're out of luck," Xiana shrugged.

"HEY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SETTLE FOR MY PRICE!" Emma snapped.

"Yeah well Red didn't like that part either so she changed it," Xiana shrugged. "In the original the woman paid only two bucks. Times have changed. Two hundred."

"Two hundred? What happened to one hundred?" Emma snapped.

"Inflation," Xiana purred. "And I want half now!"

"Oh all right you highway robber!" Emma paid Xiana. "It'll be worth it!"

"Thank you," Xiana grinned and went on her merry way. "By the way is there anything else in your refrigerator?"

"Yeah cobwebs and a bottle of gin," Althea smirked. The phone rang.

Emma raced to it and answered it. "Hello? Oh hello Scott! What? Well uh, don't worry my sweet. Of course I don't mind you breaking our engagement. Well of course I mind. But it's good discipline for me, to break away of my selfishness of you."

"Oh brother what a line…" Althea grumbled.

Emma gave her a look. "Your wife is what?" She continued on the phone. "Oh well if she's going out of town I suppose it's all right then! We can just go out tomorrow…What do you mean you have to stay and watch the kid? Can't you get a sitter? Some reason they're all booked? Okay I guess so but why….Okay. So the next few days are out of the question. But how could your wife set up a three day slumber party and forget about going on a trip?"

"I could think of a few reasons," Althea smirked.

"Shut up!" Emma hissed. Then she turned on the charm. "Oh it's all right. I just miss you that's all."

"Not to mention all the free meals and money he throws at you," Althea snorted.

"Knock it off," Emma snapped. "I swear I'd use my telepathy on you if I didn't want to catch whatever's in your diseased mind!" Then she turned her attention back to the phone. "I understand you not being about to see me after your wife leaves but…Well I wanted to cook dinner for you myself in my little apartment. Of course I can cook. You don't know half my accomplishments…"

"I'll say he doesn't," Althea grinned.

"Will you get out of here?" Emma hissed at Althea. "Oh that's all right Scott darling, I'll save you a piece of cake. With a candle on it. Oh well I didn't tell you before Scott because I thought you might do something extravagant. Oh it is dear of you to want to be with me on my birthday. I won't be lonely. No honestly I won't. And uh if this weather lets up then my allergies will be better…Oh nothing. It's just nerves. I had a letter from home today. My little sister isn't well."

"What's the matter Emma? She got a hangover?" Althea grinned. "You can always have another birthday next week."

"So help me I am gonna slug you!" Emma hissed putting her hand over the receiver. Then she returned to her act. "I've just been really feeling bad and lonely…Being a telepath I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. All the pain and misery of so many people that come in here. Sometimes I wonder why there's such heartache in the world. Sniff…Oh really? Oh Scott I…Oh yes I understand you can't stay long. Don't worry. We'll make the most of whatever time we have. Yes. Good bye. See you soon Darling! Five minutes at our corner."

"Make up your own prostitute jokes folks," Althea said. "This one is way too easy for me! Then again Frost is pretty easy…"

"Say can you believe that?" Emma snapped as she hung up the phone. "He almost stood me up for his wife!"

"Tsk tsk…" Althea grinned.

"We got a couple of late shoppers for you Emma," Lucid walked in. "They asked for you personally."

"Oh for crying out loud!" Emma grumbled. "If it isn't one thing it's another!" She composed herself and went out to see Pietra and Monet at the counter. "May I help you ladies?"

"Yes I'm looking for a new scent," Pietra grinned as if she was a cat with a mouse in her teeth. "Any recommendations?"

"Would you like something more subtle?" Emma quickly scanned their minds with her thoughts. "Or a bit stronger. Like this?" She took out a perfume bottle and sprayed her in the face.

"AAAHHGGH! NO!" Pietra coughed. "NO!"

"Is that what you use?" Monet asked.

"Oh no, it's much to expensive for me," Emma displayed some false modesty.

"Really? Pretty thing like you with all the rich men that float in here?" Pietra sneered.

"I'm afraid most men have other women on their minds when they come here," Emma said. "And in some cases no women at all."

"Shouldn't think you'd let that disturb you," Pietra picked up a bottle. "Oh look. Here's that new perfume. Summer Rain. That's the same type Jean has. A friend of ours, Mrs. Scott Summers. She has this exact same perfume. I'm sure he must have bought it here. I'm sure you wouldn't overlook him."

"I'm not really sure," Emma smiled. "Then again, when one's mind is on one's own business…"

"Of course," Pietra bristled. "And as you probably have so many men…"

Some gentle tones rang out. "What's that?" Monet asked.

"It's the bum's rush in melody my dear," Pietra folded her arms. "They want to kick us out. Oh I'm sorry. Are we keeping you from something important?"

It took a lot of self control for Emma not to lose her patience. "Oh that's quite all right."

"Well, I'll take this," Pietra took the cheapest perfume she could find and handed it to her. She handed Emma her credit card.

"Twenty five dollars? My you are getting off economically aren't you?" Emma said.

"Aren't I?" Pietra sneered in a superior fashion and started to walk away from the counter.

"See you around Mrs. LeNosy," Emma took a parting shot.

"That's LeBeau," Pietra bristled. "Impertinent little upstarts! She said that on purpose! Why I ought to…"

"Oh calm down!" Monet dragged her away. "You were so blatantly obvious! It's no wonder she caught on!"

"LeNosy! Indeed! She's laughing at us! I can see it from here!" Pietra bristled some more.

"Why I believe she is! What that smug little…" Monet was getting furious.

"I ought to have her fired!" Pietra shouted. "I'll go straight to the manager and…"

Unfortunately in their haste neither of them noticed a large pushcart behind them and they both fell head over heels into it "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"All aboard!" Althea grinned as she gave the cart a shove and it careened through the store.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Both of them rode into the cart straight into the service elevator. It closed behind them shut.

"Doesn't that go to the basement?" Althea asked.

"Yes and it has all those…" Emma began.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" They heard Monet and Pietra's screams.

"Giant mutant rats," Emma grinned. "Oh goody, they've made new friends. They have so much in common!"

Next: Things start to really heat up! He he…