A/N: OK so I realize I haven't updated in actually forever. But it has been an absolutely insane year this past one. On top of learning to deal with an increasing pile of family shit, I have undergone so many medical tests I've become a human pincushion and my doctor's little enigma. We have finally gotten a handle on my conditions so I have time to write again. Thank god because I was going to go insane! Since I couldn't focus long enough to work on this fan-fic (since it deserves the utmost love and attention to detail in my mind), I started blogging but even that has decreased drastically recently while I was in the hospital.

So I am now back on track and will finish this fic (hopefully starting university in the fall won't get in the way too much =P). Plus I have adopted two fabulous stories/plots from an author by the name of Fairwilloftheangel called Psyche and Beyond Memories. Both twilight of course and once this fic gets more in it's element and more of it's detailed plot and twists are revealed, I will tackle those two and start updating multiple fics at once...hopefully =P

For those of you who have stuck with me, you're amazing and I love you! As always reviews are always appreciated so don't hesitate. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately to my great despair I don't own anything twilight. =P

Can't Stay Away-Chapter 3

Why does this always happen to me? I've never done anything extraordinary yet I always end up being the center of attention! But this time is definitely the worst because it's all due to him. Not only does he break my heart, he leaves this all behind for me to deal with. No, I can't think that way, I have to be positive. Besides, at least some of them are only doing this because they care.

All day the stupid "are you ok?" and "you wanna talk about it?" and "he was a real jerk anyway." Obviously I'm not OK, I'm just a better actress than I thought, and again obviously I don't want to talk about it and he was only trying to protect me! Yeah that's why he played with your emotions and took them with him when he left. Gah stupid brain just stop already that's not true! It was almost lunch time and I would definitely need to block out this kind of thinking if I was going to be able to be remotely normal. Because shutting up two voices in your head was normal, who was I kidding? But it also had to be done to make it impossible to deal with Jessica's onslaught of questions which were inevitable. She'd been saving them through class so she could really judge my answers now.

I walked into the cafeteria and sat down and sure enough Jessica and the whole gang just enveloped me as if the invisible wall when Alice and Edward were there had never existed. Jessica sat immediately to my right and Mike to my left. Angela was across from me already giving me an apologetic look. She knows I'm about to face the Spanish Inquisition.

"Oh my gosh Bella I can't believe he did this to you!" Jessica started off with. She has to pretend she truly cares at first. Well she is my friend so she probably does a little.

"What do you mean? Who says I didn't dump him?" My attempt at laughing it off bravado style failed miserably. Jessica just looked at me with this like-I-buy-that-for-a-second look.

"Really Bella?" she started in an almost condescending tone but then realized that it might upset me. Plus she was sounding a little harsh. Who am I kidding, a little? "Don't get me wrong, it's just that they all left so I figured he was probably the dumper. Is that why he did it, did they like move or something?" Now she's getting to the part she wants. I could start to see the excitement on her face in hopes of a juicy story.

"Yeah, they moved to L.A. and he wasn't a distance relationship type of guy," I said. Technically it wasn't a lie, plus it's the easiest way to explain without details like he didn't want any other less benign vamps to take a bite out of me. And that you were never good enough to deserve him. No, stop it! God I'm becoming a schizo! I looked away from Jessica in case my eyes betrayed my thoughts, problem was I looked over at Angela and she's much more observant. She just looked at me with a small understated smile on her face, her eyes saying that she was there for me. She could tell I was in more pain than I let on. Not that it's that hard to miss, Jessica's just unobservant. But still, I'll have to thank her later. She's always been such a nice friend.

Jessica's face visibly fell. "That's it?" she asked hopefully. I should have known she wouldn't just give up like that.

"Yeah, that's it."

"Well, what did he say? Was he really upset?"

"He didn't say much, it just kind of happened." I couldn't go into details, not here. I knew I was already pushing my luck talking about it like this.

"Lay off, Jess," Mike interrupted and for once I was glad he did. "Bella doesn't want to talk about it. Besides, would you want to give people a play-by-play of a painful break-up?" He glanced over at me giving me this re-assuring look. It was moments like these that made me glad I still had Mike as a friend considering how I treat him sometimes. Let's just hope he doesn't make me eat my words by converting back to retriever form now that I'm single.

"Geez Mike let the girl fight her battles," Jessica said looking down at her food. "If she didn't want to talk about it she'd say so."

"Well, there's not much else to it so can we drop it now?" I asked what I thought was gently but earned an angry and hurt stare from Jess.

"Sure." There was an uncomfortable silence for a while and we all just picked at our food. I had been wrong, even that small conversation about it was painful.

"I'm not that hungry and I have some homework I didn't finish for next period. I'll see you guys later." I couldn't get away from there fast enough, if I walked too fast I'd draw more attention to myself which was definitely not needed right now. When I got outside the cafeteria I found a secluded bench off in the corner and just collapsed onto it. My stuff was everywhere but I could really care less at the moment. Thankfully the weather was even colder than usual so I was the only one outside. The tears just came and I had no control over them, which happened way too much lately but I'd given up fighting them. That one question of Jessica's had got to me, "was he really upset?" Because the answer was no. He nonchalantly tore my heart to pieces leaving them to tear at me from the inside. According to him he had gotten tired of me anyway, never really loved me. It was getting harder and harder to tell myself different. But everyone else was surprised too, so he had to be lying. If it was true people wouldn't be as shocked he left me. Then again he's had decades of practice lying and hiding things. The tears came faster now. Whether things like these were true or not, I couldn't let myself think them. I won't give my friends or Charlie reason to worry, I can't hurt anyone else, except myself. I made a conscious effort to stop crying since lunch would end soon.

I heard a noise from behind me snapping me out of my depressive thoughts. I turned around wiping my eyes and thought I saw a person's silhouette moving in the trees. I rubbed my eyes and checked again but this time it had disappeared. But whatever it was had brought my attention to how long I'd been out here. How could I have already missed almost all of next period? Then again, it was biology, so it was probably for the best today. As I turned around to walk back into the building, I thought I saw a sparkle out of the corner of my eye. Stupid tears, if they start giving me hallucinations then I'll actually have a mental break-down. Out of my better judgement I turned around one last time, but there was still nothing there. I'm not quite sure what I was even looking for. Then the bell rang signaling the end of the period. One more to go before I can safely go home and be alone.

As I walked into english class, I stopped suddenly in the doorway. I didn't want to sit in my normal seat since it's secluded in the back, but the only other option was sandwiched between the window and Jessica. Without Mike or Angela here I wasn't sure I could stop her from another attempt at interrogating me. After debating it back and forth, I guess dealing with Jessica was better than dealing with my thoughts alone.

I walked over and sat next to her and she gave me an apologetic smile. Maybe she feels sorry.

"Look Bella, I'm sorry about lunch. I should have been more...respectful I guess." Hey, I was right.

"It's OK, I'd be curious too."

"Look, I want to make it up to you, plus it's been forever since we really hung out. Wanna go see a movie tonight or something? My treat! Besides, I doubt you want to spend a whole ton of time alone right now. Unless you do cause then, that's cool...I guess."

She seems to be really trying. But it might just be another attempt to barrage me with questions. Just in case I'll give myself some time to fortify. "Well I have a bunch of homework tonight, but how about this weekend? Definitely don't want to spend that alone." I didn't realize the truth of my words until I'd said them out loud.

"Ok, great. You can pick whatever you want to see. I'll stop by around 5?"

"Ok, see you this weekend then." Then I noticed our teacher glaring at us and it quickly ended any further conversation.

On the drive home from school, I realized how good this could be. Charlie definitely heard me in my closet last night and probably will continue to hear and worry about me. Getting out of the house with friends will help reassure him I'm fine. Even if it's a lie.

Sure enough I was right on both counts. Charlie was ecstatic I was out and avoiding becoming a lonely shut-in. And by the weekend I had cried to the extent I could only dry sob. I needed a distraction in any form. Thankfully there was a safe horror movie about zombies Jess and I picked out. Well, mostly I picked it. I hadn't thought to check beforehand if there were any alternatives to sappy romance movies or anything involving happy endings, or...vampires.

Jessica obviously hadn't found the movie as appealing. She looked visibly shaken as we were walking out of the theatre.

"How could you pick such a freaky movie?" she finally asked me after walking for a while in silence.

"I didn't think it was that bad. A little bloody, maybe."

"You need a way more normal reaction to monsters," was her only reply. That would have been good advice before.

"Wanna quickly get something to eat before we go home maybe? Settle your stomach a little bit?"

"Sure. I see a McDonalds up ahead." Jess was finally starting to look less nervous as we walked over towards the golden arches in the distance. We made a few more jokes about the bad effects and she had been starting to relax, when suddenly her body tensed all over again.

"Jess, did the movie freak you out that much?"

"No. Let's just...get that cheeseburger, I'm starving." She fixed her eyes straight ahead and picked up her pace a little bit. What has gotten into her? Then I heard it, some whistling and catcalling in the background.

I looked across the street to the only other business open on the street, it was a bar or club of some sort. There were 4 guys standing out front looking in our direction. They must be the source of the noise. After a few more discreet glances I could see why the might make Jess nervous. They weren't hiding their interest towards us, and they didn't look like the nicest guys.

Yet even that realization didn't stop me from coming to a complete halt in the middle of the street to stare at them. I was having this insane deja vu but it made no sense. I didn't live in Port Angeles so I couldn't possibly have run into them before, and by the looks of it there was no way in hell I would ever want to. Yet something about them was horrifically familiar.

Then it hit me, I had run into them the one time I had been in Port Angeles before, and I'd pointedly avoided the city for a while because of them. Maybe not these specific individuals, but their type. The timing and scene before was so similar it gave me goosebumps.

Jess had finally noticed my transformation into a statue. "Bella?" she whispered. "What are you doing?"

The words came out of my mouth before I could edit them, "I think I know them." Now, a normal person probably would have had Jessica eating their dust from their speedy exit. But since when have I ever been normal? Still in some sort of daze, I stepped further into the street and started walking towards them. Maybe I had tried so hard to suppress this memory it had worked and I couldn't muster the appropriate level of horror or the proper protection instincts. Even being in the same city with the same friend, dark alleys and everything hadn't seemed to sink in yet. In a delayed reaction my legs started to tense thinking they should stand their ground, or even better run. At least some part of my anatomy is working correctly. Too bad my brain isn't connected.

As I got closer to them I could see I had caught their attention, probably not in a good way. Yet something was drawing me forward and I couldn't resist. My adrenaline was pumping from the possibility of, no, the likelihood, of danger.

Apparently Jess felt it too "Bella, come on!"

Although it would cost me later, I ignored her. I continued to advance without having to make any conscious decisions or efforts. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't achieved this strong of an emotion in any way shape or form since...he left. Even in public I could feel the familiar sting behind my eyes approaching. Or maybe because there was nothing left to fear, what can anyone do to an empty shell? You can't truly hurt someone devoid of emotions can you?

Jess's voice had become like a nagging conscience in the back of my brain. "Bella! You can't go into a bar!" Huh, so that's where I was heading. The destination no longer truly mattered. As long as I was feeling something, I had to see where it would lead me.

One thought kept poking at the back of my brain trying to surface, and it did despite my hardest efforts. Maybe you're doing this in a last-ditch attempt he will protect you like he always did.

Of course that was completely ridiculous. I must be becoming a glutton for punishment or something. I seem to enjoy this tearing sensation in the depths of my soul every time thoughts or memories of him escaped. Now that the floodgates had opened, I recalled my promise to him not to do anything stupid. If he could see me now...well then my wildest hopes might not be so wild. Things could maybe...

"Bella, stop this right now!"

Everything locked. Not just my muscles, my brain, my lungs, heart, everything. Jess's voice didn't have the power to do that. "Edward..." his name barely escaped my lips. There was no mistaking that voice, the smooth velvet quality, how it could sound beautiful even when furious.

Everything I had been thinking was right. This was why I was currently standing in the street walking towards potential psychopaths. The adrenaline, emptiness, everything. Most importantly, having him protect me. His voice was the only thing to pull me out of my reverie and stop my legs from moving. I was always powerless under his control.

"Go back to Jessica," the lovely but angry voice instructed. "You promised - nothing stupid."

Talk about strong emotions. Just these snippets, memories of his voice, had me soaring. I hadn't felt anything close to this for weeks. Who was I kidding, I hadn't felt anything miles away from this for weeks. I didn't feel empty for a second, my surroundings held interest, I wasn't huddled into myself hiding from my own thoughts.

Wait a second, I wasn't a teary mess on the ground. How is that possible? Yesterday I couldn't bear thoughts of him, but now his voice made me feel like I could fly. The only thing that I could compare this feeling to was...being with him.

That had to be it! That had to be the different factor. I spun wildly looking for him. He had to be here. He must be protecting me, I should have known. But, I didn't see him. I could have sworn...

He was back before I had time to properly doubt myself, "Keep your promise." Goosebumps erupted on my neck from the quick burst of wind over my shoulder. Or maybe it was just the exhilaration of hearing his voice again.

I spun around one more time, but of course I wasn't fast enough. No matter how insane it was, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was, or had been, there. Right behind me. Close enough to touch. Just the thought of being that close to him again had me weak in the knees in a good way. That had to be his breath I felt on my neck. It had to. His voice was too perfect for me to have imagined it. Or was it? I noticed in my frantic searching Jess had left. She must have gone to the McDonalds without me. I could see why, to her I must look completely crazy.

I took the walk back to McDonalds to consider my options and try to be rational for a second. What if this was just wish fulfillment? Or maybe I was going crazy like it seemed to everyone. Maybe I was just fooling myself and I had finally lost it. No, that couldn't be it. Thinking like that would ensure I truly did go crazy. It was different this time, I knew it. I felt it with everything I had, which admittedly wasn't much anymore but it was enough to be sure. This time was different, I'm not a blathering mess, I am forming coherent thoughts. Most of all, I feel...hope. Or something like it.

I couldn't help but voice my newfound will, maybe it was in hopes that he heard. "Edward, if you're there, and I strongly believe that you are, or were, anyways...I'll catch you."

Shit that was close. If I'm actually going to do this, I'm going to need some practice.

I think you all have an idea of what is in store. Again, reviews make my weaker heart soar =P