"Oh my god they are perfect!...ulp." said Columbia.
"Collie, you okay?" asked Magenta.
"Uh...Magenta I think I'm going to need sushi. Lots and lots of sushi."
"Okay, let's go find a sushi bar. Riff, watch the kids." Said Magenta as she left with Coulmbia. They walked a ways to a seemingly popular sushi bar. They sat down at the bar.
"Hey, my man!" said Columbia to the chef. "Sushi, and lots of it. All kinds, just keep them coming."
"Whoa, Collie, are you that hungry?" Magenta asked with a laugh. "At least let me help you eat."
"NO! This is MY sushi! You can't have any!"
"Oh...Collie are you okay?"
"I'M FINE GOD DAMN IT!" She shouted. The chef handed her a plate full of food. Columbia dug in with her bare hands and started to shovel in.
"Hmmm...where have I seen this before..."said Magenta. "Probably just me."
Meanwhile Riff Raff and his kids were walking back to the hotel room. They went up to their room, to see Eddie watching TV.
"Oh, hey guys. Where's Collie and your sister?"
"They went out for some sushi."
"Oh...say Riff, buddy, how's about you and I go out for a drink?"
"I could use a drink. Kids, stay here with Master and Spike and Mimi while Uncle Eddie and I go out to the hotel bar."
"Okay."
Riff Raff and Eddie went down to the snazzy bar.
Meanwhile Columbia was going through her hundreth plate of sushi.
"*BUUURRP!* More please!"
"Collie, I think that is enough."
"UGH! Fine...whatever."
Magenta paid for the enormous bill, and left.
At the bar in the hotel, Eddie got drunk, and so did a little bit Riff Raff.
"Ya know Reef..." said Eddie "See this ring...It's for Collie...Imma gonna murry hur..."
"Awww, you know she's gonna be...happy..."
"I know, I know...buh she hates me..."
"Ohhhh you are gonna make her happy."
Back in the room, everyone was waiting for Eddie and Riff Raff. They door slammed open, and they came stumbling in.
"Wassup everybody?" said Riff Raff.
"Oh no, Riff, are you drunk?" asked Magenta.
"Naaawwww...I just had a sip or two of that japenese drink...strong stuff..."
The next morning...
Riff Raff woke up in bed with a huge hangover. He watched his sister getting dressed.
"It's about time your drunk ass woke up."
"What's going on?"
"Get dressed, the wedding starts in an hour."
"Oh shit!" shouted Riff Raff jumping out of the bed. He was quickly putting his clothes on.
"Yeah, sorry about last night...I can't remember a darn thing. So where's my daughter and son?"
"They are already at the church or whatever...so is everybody else."
At the ceremony...
"Where is he?" asked Nellie nervously as Columbia helped her into her dress.
"He and Genta should be here soon..."
Meanwhile Eddie and Frank were helping out Richy.
"Oooohhhh! Richy you look so adorable!" said Frank.
"Awww, thank you Frankie. I hope my sister thinks so too."
"She will. There's no way she couldn't! I could just eat you up!"
"And Eddie, don't forget our agreement."
"I know, I know. I'm just...afraid. You did it without an ounce of fear!"
"Well, that's just me sweety. You can do it. You just have to admit to her your true feelings."
"I...I guess. I feel like I'm outta my head."
Riff Raff and Magenta then came into the room.
"Sorry we're late!" said Magenta. "I had to watch over your father."
"Sorry."
"It's okay, how do I look?"
"Oh you look so darling!" said Magenta.
"Aw, thank you mommy! Hmmm, dad, I think you should go check on Nellie. From what Frank told me, she is worried sick."
"I'll go do that."
Riff Raff walked over to Nellie's dressing room.
"DADDY! You made it!" yelled Nellie as she hugged him.
"Well of course I did! I wouldn't miss this for the world! Oooh, you look so beautiful."
"Thank you."
Everyone then could hear wedding bells ring.
"We're starting! We're starting!" Nervously shouted Nellie.
5 minutes later Riff Raff did the cermonious walk where he gave away the bride, his daughter, as the rock and roll wedding music played. The wedding ceremony began as everyone took their seats.
later into the wedding...
"If anyone has any reasons why these two shall not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Nellie nervously and instinctly looked over at her mother, as if to expect her to reject. Columbia smiled, and stood up just like before. Nellie covered her mouth and gasped in shock. Columbia just dusted her dress off, and gestured to continue with the wedding as she sat down. Richy laughed.
"That wasn't funny Richy..."
"You may now kiss the bride."
Richy and Nellie shared a deep kiss as everyone cheered. Then the rest of the ceremony commenced. Nellie threw the boquet, and Mimi caught it.
As the ceremony was wrapping up, Richy nudged Eddie, and Eddie walked up to Columbia.
"Hey...Columbia."
"Hey Eddie."
"Uh...Columbia?"
"What is it Eddie?"
Eddie got down on one knee.
"Columbia...I love you with all my heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you...and oh uh...and you are a very pretty, beautiful, spunky hot patootie. Will you marry me?"
Everyone watched as this happened.
"NO!"
"Oh Columbia! I...wait...no?"
"No Eddie! I don't want to marry you! I'm not going to throw my life away like that by living with some mooching, lazy, deadbeat fatass!"
Columbia furiously turned to walk away, but before she did, she turned back to Eddie.
"Oh yeah, and I'm pregnant again! And your ass isn't the father! It's Riff Raff's!"
Everyone gasped to the news as Columbia walked away. Eddie just stood there, completely shocked. Richy walked up to him.
"Oh Eddie...I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault, Richy. She's right. I am just a big worthless sack of crap. What woman would want me?"
"Don't say that, plenty of woman would want you."
"No...they wouldn't...oh god I need to find a bar..." said Eddie quickly walking away.
"This is so terrible!" said Nellie.
"I'm going to go talk to her." Said Magenta following after Columbia.
"Son, daughter, I am so sorry your special day has to end like this." said Riff Raff.
"It's okay daddy, it's not your fault."
Magenta ran after Columbia.
"Collie! Wait up!"
"Don't try and change my mind, Magenta!"
"Eddie is a nice guy! You should totally marry him!"
"No! I am not marrying that cheating scumbag! All he has done is hurt me! And if I marry him he will continue to hurt me! I envy you Magenta. You have the most caring, attractive, nicest man in the whole universe. And I could never be happier for him raising my daughter, and I hope he will help raise my other child."
"Believe me, he's going to help raise uh...uh..."
"I don't know if it is a girl or a boy yet."
"Why don't we go find out?"
"Well...okay."
Magenta and Columbia got into a car and drove away. They rode around, until they found a place called "Harikae mental health clinic." ( A/N my uncle's health clinic!)
"What? Magenta, I am in no need of a mental doctor! Nation said so."
"Okay, first of all, she is just an actress, and second, maybe this could help with physical health too."
"Oohhh alright let's give it a try."
They got out of the car and went inside to the front desk.
"Moshimoshi." said Magenta.
"Hi...do you have an appointment?"
"Well, we need someone to examine my friend here." said Magenta pointing at Columbia who had her arms crossed and was pouting while looking away.
"Hmmm well we have a no show, so she can go in right away."
"Arigoto."
Magenta and Columbia walked down the hall and into an empty room. After a bit, a somewhat plump japenese man wearing a doctor suit and tie walked in.(A/N my uncle!)
"Ahhh hello there I am Dr Harikae...what's your name?"
"Columbia." Columbia quietly said.
"Such a pretty name for a pretty girl."
"Thanks." Columbia said, grumpy.
"Hmmm she seems a little grouchy."
"Well, she is pregnant."
"Ohh! Congradulations!"
"Thanks."
"Yeah, so we were wondering if you could give her a physical as well as mental examination."
"Of course. Come with me to the examination room."
They followed him to another room with a table. Columbia laid down on it, and a machine scanned her body.
"Ohhhh, well it appears your baby is a girl."
"Then I will name her Patty."
"Cute name." said Magenta.
"Hmm strange...when was she concieved?"
"A couple weeks ago."
"Wow...she is developing fast."
"Oh uh...how about that..."
"Hmmmm. You are tense. Are you upset about something?"
"Well, My...sort of boyfriend asked me to marry him and I rejected him."
"Why did you do that?"
"Because he is a deadbeat! And a cheater!"
"Well why are you upset? Are you sure you couldn't work things out with this guy?"
"Believe me, I want to. I do sorta love him a little bit, but I just can't trust him."
"The decision is yours alone, but I am pondering why the child is developing at such a fast rate...is she...Transylvanian?"
Columbia and Magenta looked at each other nevously.
"Ha ha ha, it's alright I already know about Transylvania. Yeah I have known for a while. So this boyfriend of yours Columbia, is he Transylvanian?"
"No, the baby isn't his. It's Magenta's husband's baby. The creepy lady standing right there."
"Hey! I'm not creepy!"
"Whatever."
"So you slept with her husband? Aren't you upset about this, Magenta?"
"It was her birthday, and we all slept with each other, so it's all cool."
"Who's all?"
"We all live in a castle. We live with the master, I am the maid, my husband is the butler, and Columbia is the...uh...household groupie? Yeah, and we all slept with each other."
"Okay...That is weird...but whatever makes you happy...I suppose you should do it...And Columbia, here is what I suggest. Eat lots of sushi, control your anger and future depression, when you get sick eat lots of soup...hmm and I think that's it!"
"Thanks doc! I feel better already!"
"My pleasure!"
"Genta, I think we should go back. We didn't even tell anyone where we were going!"
"I'll give Riff a call."
Magenta took out her cellphone and called Riff Raff.
"Hello? Magenta?"
"Hi Riff."
"Where did you and Columbia go?"
"We went to a health clinic to check on the baby."
"Oh I know. Soon whe will get all sad and depressed."
"That probably won't be for a day or two. Where is everybody now?"
"We are all at the hotel. I have no idea where Eddie is."
"We'll be there right away. Bye."
Both the woman left the clinic, and began to quickly drive away back to the hotel.
Back at the hotel...
Riff Raff was taking pictures of Richy and Nellie as they posed in their outfits.
"Mmm you two look adorable."
"Hey uh...dad?" asked Nellie.
"What is it sweety?"
"Can Richy and I...have some alone time?"
"Of course! I was meaning to check out the spa. Who would like to join me?"
"I'm game!" said Frank.
"Mimikins and I will join you guys as well!" said Spike.
"Alright then."
They all left the room.
"Well my most fabulous sister. We are all alone now."
"Yes. We are."
"Why don't you let me help you out of your dress?"
"Okay!"
Meanwhile, Columbia and Magenta pulled up to the hotel. They got out and went up to their room to see a note taped onto to the closed door.
"Hmmm what's this?" said Magenta. "Dear Magenta and Columbia, Richy and Nellie are in here making love. Do not bother them. Me, Master, Spike and Mimi are hanging out in the spa. Come and join us! Love Riff Raff."
"Oh no...they didn't even wait for us..." sniffled Columbia.
"Columbia...don't tell me you are going through the Sadness and depression phase already!"
"Oh Genta...*sniff* you hate me for it don't you."
"No...why don't we go join them at the spa? You like warm water..."
"Yeah...I do."
They walked over to the changing room and stripped down until they were both completely naked, and only covered by white towels. They then walked down the long hall and into the spa room.
"Hi guys!" said Magenta.
"Hello darling. Why don't you come in and join me?"
"With pleasure."
Magenta removed the towel and Riff Raff got a good look at her naked body. Spike, who was on one side of the pool with her arm around Mimi, was also watching. She was surpised that Magenta still had her attractive figure. Spike even found herself blushing.
"Spike...are you staring?" asked Mimi in a worried tone.
"What? No!"
"Hmmph."
"Mimi, I wasn't staring!"
"Sure you weren't."
They then watched Columbia get in.
"Aaaaahhh this is so relaxing, right Columbia?" asked Magenta in her brother's arms.
"Do the swim! Splash splash splash! Do the swim!" Columbia sang as she splashed in the water.
"Well it looks you're having a good time!" said Magenta.
"Yep! I love this spa! Weeeee! Do the swim!"
"Columbia I have been meaning to ask, is my next child doing well?"
"Yep! She's doing fine."
"Ohhh it's a girl!"
"Yep! Her name is Patty."
"Cute name."
"That's what I said." said Magenta. "I hope Richy and Nellie are okay with having a new sister. Oh Riff...what if she too forms an incest bond?"
"As possible as it is, Richy and Nellie are deeply in love...If Patty falls in love with either of them, Richy or Nellie could be nasty to her."
"I don't want that!" sniffled Columbia.
"It won't happen! I promise!" said Magenta in a weird, optimistic tone.
"Okay then!"
"What was that?" asked Riff Raff.
"I don't want her crying and ruining the rest of our time here."
"Oh sis..."
Meanwhile...
"AAAAAHHHHHH!"
SPLASH!
Janet landed in a big swiming pool. It wasn't the one in the theater room, this one was a different one. There was no way out. No doors, no windows, just tall wooden walls.
"Where the hell am I?"
"AAAHHHHHH!"
"OOOFF!"
Ansalong landed on Janet.
"OW! What the? Annie?"
"Hi Jan! Where are we?"
Janet looked up. The vortex was gone.
"How do we get out of this pool?"
"I uh...don't know..."
Back in Japan...
Frank decided to lead everyone into one of his world famous pool orgies. But back in the room, Richy and Nellie were making love. They were both naked in bed.
"Ha ha ha, my most sexy sister. I know where you are ticklish."
"No you DOOOHHH! OOOOHHH! STOP! HA HA! STOP!"
Nellie then tickled Richy back.
"OH OH! HA HA HA! Come here, you!" said Richy kissing her neck.
"Ahh! Richy!"
"Ha ha ha!"
Meanwhile back in the strange pool at the castle...
"Ohhhh! We're getting tired! We're going to drown!" said Janet.
"Maybe not! Look!" said Ansalong pointing to a giant drain stopper at the bottom of the pool. "If I can pull that out it will drain the water, and we won't drown!"
"Good thinking!"
Ansalong swam under water and pulled the drain stopper out. It was a giant cork, and now floated to the surface. The water at first didn't react.
"Huh...that's weird."
VWOOOSHH!
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
The draining water created a giant whirpool. The two women screamed as they got sucked in.
Meanwhile Nation finally found a way out of the hall of mirrors. She ended up in the zen room.
"Boy...I'm glad that fiasco is over. Hmmm everything seems so quiet. Ansalong! Janet!"
Nation walked around and looked all over the castle. She then walked over to the big theater room and up to the pool.
"Annie, Jan, you in here?"
"aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHH!"
Janet and Ansalong slid out of a tube from the ceiling and fell into the pool with a splash.
"There you two are! I've been looking all over for you! Where have you been?"
Janet and Ansalong looked at each other, then smiled.
"Well uh..we slid down a water slide. Listen, Nation, there's this really cool room you should check out.
"Really? Which one?"
"Look for the door with the swirly symbol."
"Okay. Sounds interesting." Nation said walking away.
Ansalong and Janet waited a bit until they heard a noise.
"AAAAHHH!" they could hear. The two women shared girly laughs.
