Chapter 3
BPOV
It was a typical morning for me, getting up and getting ready to go to school.
But of course today, Phil had to be up when I came downstairs.
He started yelling at me for something I didn't do.
So he pushed me into the counter, causing me to hit my side hard. I knew I'd have a bruise there.
I hated my life and I just wanted it to end.
After his verbal tirade, he left for work and I went back upstairs.
Once in my room, I went to look at my side and there was a huge black bruise on there.
I took out the knife I had hidden under my bed and stared at it.
I wonder how long it would take to die if I cut my wrist.
Just the thought of watching the blood trickle out of the cut was intriguing.
Would anyone give a damn if I was gone?
I held the knife against my arm and felt the pain as it sliced my skin. I put the knife down, as I watched the blood.
I thought about the conversation I had last night. Why did I promise a complete stranger I would talk to him again?
I don't want to, I have nothing to say anymore.
I just want the pain to end.
I wasn't always this way. I used to love hanging out with Alice and just being a teenager.
She would always tease me about my crush on her brother, but that was it a crush.
He would never be interested in me.
Nobody would.
I looked at the clock and saw that I had to leave for school.
I quickly bandaged my arm and pulled on my favorite hoodie to hide the bandage.
Pulling up the the school, I saw Alice and Edward standing by his car.
I'm still upset with him for reading that poem.
Alice spotted me and was motioning me over to her with her usual enthusiasm.
Fuck, I wish I could be invisible.
I dragged my feet as I approached them - I wished she hadn't seen me.
"Morning, Bella," Alice chirped as soon as I'm near them.
"Morning," I mumbled back.
"Morning, Bella." Edward said.
I just nodded - I'm still mad at him.
"I have something for you," he said.
I looked up at him with narrowed eyes - is this a joke?
He held a small book out to me.
"It's a writing journal. I'm sorry I read your note."
I just stared at the book in his hand - there must be a catch. People like Edward don't give gifts to people like me. He's a god and I am nothing.
"Please take it, Bella. I want you to have it."
I stretched my fingers to touch the book - it is beautiful - green leather...I really do want it.
I finally reached out and grabbed the journal. Edward smiled then frowned as I pulled it to me.
My sleeve was pulled up just a little - enough to see the edge of my bandage.
Edward's eyes were fixed on my wrist and a weird expression was on his face.
I yanked my sleeve back down and mumbled a thank you at him.
"Yeah, my brother can be pretty awesome when he wants to. Let's head to class, Bella. See you later, Edward," and with that Alice looped her arm through mine and dragged me off toward the building.
I chanced a quick peek over my shoulder, Edward was watching us go...his expression still looked off, I wish I could figure it out. Worry...maybe...no, that's stupid, why would he worry about me.
My classes seemed to go by fast, and then it was time for biology. I really didn't want to go since I sat next to Edward.
But if I didn't go, he would think I was avoiding him.
I walked into biology and Tanya was standing next to my chair.
Damn I hate when she did that, she never moved for me.
Edward looked annoyed that Tanya was talking to him - or maybe I was imagining it.
Edward looked up and noticed me and gave me a small smile.
My heart gave a little flutter - I can't help it, he's so handsome.
"Get out of the way, Tanya - you're blocking Bella's way." he said.
"Whatever," she said flipping her hair over her shoulder and not budging.
Edward stood up and elbowed Tanya out of the way, "The answer is no, Tanya. I don't want to go out with you now or ever - stop asking me."
He pulled out my chair, "Here you go, Bella - Tanya was just leaving."
Tanya elbowed me hard as she walked passed right in my bruised side.
I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my lips and I reached forward to steady myself.
Edward grabbed ahold of my hand and put his other hand on my back and guided me into my chair.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. Are you okay?"
"You don't need to be sorry, you didn't do it. I'll be fine."
"I'm sorry that you're hurt," he replied.
"Why should you care?"
He looked at me steadily as he sat down, "Because you're a nice person and I like you and I don't want to see you hurt."
I don't even know what to say to him. Did he just say he likes me? That can't be right. I must be hallucinating. Maybe I lost more blood than I thought.
Edward was just watching me...like he's trying to figure something out - it's making me nervous.
"Is your arm okay? I noticed a bandage earlier," he said.
"Yeah, its fine. I just cut it"
"Oh no. You could come by my house after school and have my dad look at it."
"No, its fine."
"Can I ask you something?" he said.
"You just did." I told him.
He laughed and I can't help but be secretly pleased that I made him laugh.
"Okay, you got me there. I wondered if you would like to go out with me sometime?"
"Why would you want to go out with me?" I asked.
"I told you - I like you."
"That's kind of hard to believe, you could have anyone," I said waving my hand at the other girls.
"If you say so. I think you're smart and pretty and I would like to take you out. If you're uncomfortable being alone with me we could double with Alice and Jasper."
"You're serious?"
"Yes, I'm completely serious."
"Okay," I said looking down.
"Really!?" he said excitedly "That's great! Is Friday or Saturday better for you?"
"Friday is good for me."
"Awesome, I'll pick you up at six, okay?"
"Okay."
We went back to reading the chapter and working on the assignment.
I couldn't believe Edward Cullen just asked me out...it's like a dream. Good things don't happen to me.
"Bella, sit with me at lunch today?" he asked as he took my hand.
I looked down at my hand in his - I couldn't even think of any words to say to him. This must be a dream.
"Please," he said and I found myself nodding.
We walked down the hall, and I could feel all eyes staring at us.
"It's okay," he whispered in my ear.
As we walked into the cafeteria, we went in the line.
"Get whatever you'd like," he said as he picked out what he wanted.
I feel stunned, I thought he was just asking me on a date, but he is treating me like a...girlfriend.
I picked out a small salad and a Diet Coke.
He looked down at my choice and shook his head.
"Bella, you need to eat more than that," he said as he tossed a chicken salad sandwich on the tray.
After paying, he lead us to a table in the center of the cafeteria. He even pulled out my chair for me and waited for me to sit down.
I definitely lost too much blood this morning.
He handed me the sandwich and my salad.
"Really? I'm not that hungry," I said.
"Too bad, you need to eat more than salad."
I rolled my eyes at him as Alice came by.
"Holy crap, Bella - are you actually eating in here today?"
I lowered my eyes and felt the color rise in my face.
"Way to be subtle, sis," he said.
"What I was just saying its nice to see her in here."
She flitted away to find Jasper.
"Don't mind her, I try to ignore her myself."
I laughed and then looked up to see Tanya standing behind Edward.
"Eddie-kins, scraping the bottom of the barrel for company, huh?"
"I think you're barrel must be upside down - I think Bella's at the top of the barrel."
I sat there with my mouth open, I couldn't believe he was defending me to her.
"Edward seriously? Did you get tackled too much?"
"Not at all. I just have the sense to see who is trash and who is treasure."
"Well, I think you're blind and stupid. You could've had all this," she said as she waved her hand over herself. "But you chose that, she's just nothing, a nobody."
"She's somebody to me and I wouldn't have touched you if you payed me to."
I looked down at the table, I actually wanted to run out of there.
I am nothing. Why did I let him convince me to eat lunch with him?
"Bella, are you okay?" he asked.
"No."
"Are you in pain? Tell me what's bothering you."
"I'm nobody, and you're wasting your time with me."
He surprised me by taking a hold of my shoulders and turning my body to face his. "Don't say that. I don't think you're a waste of time. Are you insulting me by telling me my choices are wrong? I'm where I want to be, Bella - right next to you."
I just stared at him - he can't be for real. I know soon I will wake up from this dream and find it was all untrue.
I still don't believe I'm the right choice, but I can't bring myself to tell him that. His eyes looked so hopeful...so trusting. I don't want to crush that...I don't want him to be like me.
We finished lunch and then he walked me to class.
He stood outside the door with me like he wanted to say something.
"Bella?"
I looked up at him.
"I'm really looking forward to our date."
I nodded as I walked into my class.
The rest of the afternoon went by rather pretty fast, not that I wanted to get home. But I wanted to be away from school.
After school was over, I drove home and I knew that soon Phil would be home.
I went in made dinner and made sure everything was clean.
I went to my room and did my homework, and then I opened the journal that Edward gave me.
Inside was written, 'To Bella, I hope you'll write wonderful things in here. ' Yours-Edward.
I went downstairs just as Phil came in.
I hurried into the kitchen and threw dinner on the table, and he walked in the room.
"Very good, at least you're learning," he sneered.
I nodded and said nothing.
"Where's your mom?"
"Out."
"Oh, so we are here alone?"
"Yes."
"Good, you need to learn a lesson."
"Why? I didn't do anything."
"You are now."
I tried to leave the room, but he grabbed me by the hair.
I tried to struggle from his grasp but he wrapped my hair around his hand.
"You are a pathetic waste of space, why your mother didn't get rid of you I'll never know," he said as he pushed my back into the wall.
Pain shot up my back and I nearly cried out.
But I knew if I did it would be worse.
So I stayed silent.
"You are just like your father, a waste. He could've done something with his life. But he wasted it away being a cop here in Forks. What a pathetic loser, and then he couldn't keep his wife happy so she left him for me. Then he up and got himself shot, so we had to take you."
I tried to move but her pushed me again.
"Maybe one day you will make yourself useful and get the fuck out of here. But you are too much like your father. You are a pathetic loser. Clean this up and then get out of my sight."
I hurriedly cleaned the kitchen so that I could go to my room.
I knew I had to get on the teen hotline, and let whoever know I was okay, for now.
I'm already behind and I hope that he will still be there when I got online.
