A/N: hey! sorry, this chapter is kind of short. I'm glad people are reading this, let me know how you like it/what you would like to see in this story, I'm always open to suggestions! thanks!
Chapter 3
"We've uncovered some disturbing evidence upon further investigation into your apartment…,"
The social worker sits across from you at the small table. Beside him is a police officer, holding a file folder and wearing a solemn expression. You try to swallow down your fear and, oh fuck, your mouth is so dry, why didn't they give you any water? Your hands fidget around in your lap, and you try to wear a cool expression as the officer sits down and opens the file.
"Dave…I need you to be honest with us here, because we're only trying to help you," the female officer has a soothing voice, and you're sure she was trained to deal with issues like this. "We found some videos on your brother's laptop, containing explicit, inappropriate content, and…what appears to be you."
Fuck. No. This is not happening. There is no fucking way they found those videos and pictures and…oh fuck, no. This is so bad. How can you fix this?
"I did it," your mouth blurts out, surprising everyone in the room. "I wanted to do it, it was my idea. My Bro runs a porn blog, and gets paid for content, so it was my idea to get in on it, too. Made more money that way."
Gross, shocked silence. The officer speaks up first.
"You're saying…you consented to the actions that took place in these videos and photos?" she sounds unsure. "Are you aware that there are several photos of you while you appear to be asleep?"
She pulls out a photo and sets it on the table in front of you, spinning it around so it's facing right side up for you, and you see, you see your own sleeping form. There you are, in your bed, asleep, and you think that's your Bro standing over you and, wait, what the fuck? What the fuck. What the fuck?
Now the room is spinning and you can't tell which way is up. You reach up to remove your shades and shakily place them on the table, but for some reason they clatter to the floor. You think someone is talking to you but their words are muffled and distant. It's hard to breathe, and your first instinct is to unzip your binder, but you can't seem to move your limbs. The officer must have made a mistake, that can't be you, that can't be Bro, because no he wouldn't do that to you.
This is a joke, this is a sick joke, this is something forged on photoshop, right? But no, you see the timestamp on the bottom of the photo. This is real. This happened, and, oh shit you think you're about to be sick. The social worker must have seen the nausea on your face because there's a garbage can shoved in front of your face just as you up-chuck your breakfast.
Your head is still in the garbage can, and the smell is making you want to gag again, but you're not going to let it happen again. You're already pissed off enough that you lost your cool. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and set the garbage can back down on the floor, squeezing your eyes shut and pressing your fingers to the bridge of your nose. Breathe in, breathe out. You're fine. You are not a victim, you are not a victim, you are not a fucking victim.
"Sorry," you breathe shakily. "Musta ate some bad eggs this morning." You grab your shades and slide them back over your eyes, managing to push a fake smirk onto your lips. "So, uh, are we done here?"
Their faces are pinnacles of shock and disbelief. "Dave…," the social worker starts. "Please, you need to be honest with us here."
"What? I told you, I was in on it."
"Even so, this adds to your brother's current sentence. Even if it was consented, you're still underage, and it is still a crime," the officer informs you. "He'll be going away for longer than his original sentence now that we have this evidence against him."
Fuck. "He gets a lawyer though, right?"
"Yes, but that doesn't concern you," the officer continues, rising to her feet. "If you've got nothing else to say, I think it would be best for you to go now. Your social worker has informed me that you have an appointment with a therapist today, and after this, I think that's a good idea."
That is definitely not a good idea, you immediately decide. You've had so many new people prancing into your life lately, the last thing you wanna do is meet someone else you're expected to trust and open up to. Fuck that. Luckily, thanks to the fact that you just puked, your social worker is understanding and allows you to skip your first appointment. But there's no way you're getting out of next week's, and you suppose you'll have to come to terms with that.
After he drops you back off at the group home, he comes in behind you to talk to Kanaya, probably about the newly discovered evidence in your case. And oh shit, just thinking about it again makes you want to puke, even though there's nothing left in your stomach. You move up the stairs and into your room, deciding that the best way to spend your day off is by listening to some sweet beats and just chillin out.
Of course, things never seem to go as you plan. You open the door and immediately regret it as you face a small gathering in the middle of the floor. Karkat, John, and Sollux all sat together, playing what looked like some stupid, nerdy card game. Sollux was in the midst of a heated argument with Karkat over the use of one of the cards, and your walking in the room had distracted your roommate from responding.
"Hey, I thought you were gonna be gone all day?" Karkat asked, sounding strangely offended.
"Change of plans," you sigh as you sit down on your bed and pick up your headphones. "Don't mind me, keep doin' your nerd thing."
"You wanna play with us Dave?" John's smile is beaming as he looks up at you and, oh fuck, how can a kid who looks like a chipmunk actually be so cute?
"Not my thing, thanks," you respond, honestly wishing to be left alone.
"Yeah, well, I think we're done anyways," Karkat grumbles as he sets down his cards. "Fuckin stupid. Nothing is fair against Sollux, since the fuckin nerd seems to do nothing but play games all the damn time."
"Don't be jealous of my skills," Sollux grins, his lisp prominent as he holds back a laugh.
"Whatever. You guys wanna do something?"
"Dave, why don't you come hang out with us?" John jumps up, smiling at you again. "We haven't gotten a chance to really hang out yet."
You raise an eyebrow at him, almost in disbelief. "No thanks, I'll stay away from the nerd brigade," you say, pulling your headphones around your neck. "I think I'm just gonna go for a walk."
"We can come with you!" John is grinning, and entirely too excited. "C'mon, let's show him the corner store, we can get some candy too!"
Karkat groans and rolls his eyes as he stands up. "Fine, whatever," he grumbles, but you can't help but notice the slight blush across his cheeks.
The three of you set out towards the corner store, which was a few blocks away. Sollux decided to stay behind and play a video game against Terezi, which actually interested you. You still had no idea how that blind girl could possibly be so good at gaming.
"So why do you always wear those glasses?" John speaks up, spinning around to face you. What a dweeb, walking backwards like that, you're sure he'll end up tripping and falling on his ass.
"Prescription," you answer simply, not wishing to delve further into the subject.
"Jade says she thinks you're, uh, what is it…albino?" John sounds confused.
"Don't be fuckin rude, John," Karkat grumbles as he pulls up the hood of his sweatshirt.
"Hey, I'm just asking!"
"Yeah, I'm partly albino," you answer with a sigh. The sooner you get this out there, the sooner they'll leave you alone about it. "My eyes are real sensitive to the light, so without these, I can hardly see three feet in front of me."
"Wait, so does that mean you have those freaky red eyes, too?" John's mouth forms a little o shape in surprise. Karkat lets out another annoyed groan.
"Yeah," you answer simply, hoping he'll drop the subject now, because damn, you hate feeling like more of a freak than you already know you are.
"Jesus fuck, John, would you stop talking for two minutes?" Karkat barks at him, clearly just as annoyed as you are. "You wanna be friends with the new kid, but all your fuckin questions is just gonna make him wanna punch you in your big damn mouth."
"Aw, don't be jealous, Karkat, you're still my best friend!" John slings an arm around the shorter boy and grins. "I just think Dave is really cool, that's all." He tilts his head back to glance at you, his buck-toothed grin wider than ever. "You seem like a nice guy."
You decide not to respond with words, instead just raising an eyebrow over the rim of your shades, hoping that he stops blabbering on to you. He seemed like a nice kid, just entirely too over excited. Still, his intentions were good; he wanted to be friends. And apparently you were passing among these boys, which was also a fantastic feeling. Now that you've been outed as an albino freak, the last thing they need to know is that you're stuck in a female body. You shove your hands further into your pockets as the three of you approach the store. All things considered, you suppose today really has taken a turn for the better.
You were wrong. Today still fucking sucks. It sucks huge, fat, hairy dicks, and you're incredibly pissed off about it. It's two in the morning, and here you are, lying in bed, unable to even close your eyes. It's dark, so your shades are sitting on the bedside table, and you're staring up at the blank ceiling. You're afraid to even listen to music, because that reminds you too much of Bro, and you can't have that right now. Karkat is snoring lightly, and if you weren't in such a shitty mood, you might think it was kind of cute. But right now, everything is making you on edge, and you need to clear your mind.
Donning your oversized hoodie and boxer shorts, you shuffle to the hallway and make your way down the stairs. When you turn towards the kitchen, you freeze, seeing the shadow of a figure sitting at the counter. You can barely make out the features of a face, half covered by long dark hair, but when she looks up at you, her name pops into your mind.
"Jade," you greet her, well, sort of. You try to greet her but then decide that you don't care. Moving past her, you go to the fridge, searching for something mildly appetizing.
"Hey Dave," her voice is soft. "What're you doing up?"
"Hungry," you answer simply.
"I couldn't sleep either," she sighs, and you wonder for a moment if she's a mind reader. "Nights like this, when it's clear out and you can see the stars, I really miss home. I miss my house and my dog…" She is gazing out the window, where the crescent of the moon is visible, shining brightly among the star-dotted sky.
You decide to sit beside her, a glass of apple juice in front of you on the counter. "Why did you have to leave?"
"When grandpa died, I was all alone," she hums, folding her arms on the counter and resting her head. "I was taking care of myself just fine, until I forgot that electric and water bills had to be paid…I called the companies, and they alerted CPS. And, they took me away. I couldn't even keep Bec…"
"Your dog?" you guess, and she nods. "That sucks, sorry to hear it…"
"It's okay," she sighs heavily, sitting up again. "If I hadn't been brought here, I never would have met John or Nepita or Karkat, or anyone else. And I've come to love them like my own family, you know?" She smiles weakly, turning to you. "I can't help but miss my old family though."
"I'm sure everyone feels that way," you say, trying not to think about your own situation.
"Do you?"
There is an uncomfortable amount of silence after her voice rings through the air, because you truly, honestly do not know. It is quiet for too long, and even though you sense that Jade has turned away from you, you know she's still listening, waiting for an answer. There's something about her, you're not sure what it is, but you feel like you can trust her. Maybe it was a combination of that feeling of trust, plus the fact that you're exhausted and it's the middle of the night, but the words come out of your mouth without you thinking about it.
"I think my brother raped me," you whisper, and you can feel a shift of the wind as she turns her head to look at you. Her eyes are wide behind her glasses, but her lips remained shut tight, as if she's waiting for you to go on. "I don't know," you sigh, turning away from her. "I don't know if this place will feel like home for me."
"Give it some time," she answers, and her hand finds yours on the counter. "Get to know everyone. You'll grow to love them, too. I'm sure." Another minute of silence, and then, "I'm sorry about whatever you went through."
"It's cool," you grin the classic Dave Strider grin at her. "I mean, it's not cool, but it's whatever. Nothing I can do about it now."
Jade is looking out the window again. "He's in jail, right? Your brother…"
"Yeah," you sigh, dropping the grin as you pick up your glass of apple juice. "Now that they found out about that, it sounds like he'll be going away for even longer. Which, ya know, really fuckin sucks since he's my only known family member."
"Grandpa was the last of my family, too," she says, and you can tell there's a frown on her lips. "But it's okay, I'm okay with him being gone. I can't imagine how it is for you, to have a loved one still here but unattainable. I'm sorry."
"It's confusing," you say honestly. Fuck, what is it about this girl? She just makes you lose your filter, apparently. "I feel like I'm supposed to hate him, but I don't. I don't think I do, at least. He was so good to me for so long. Real supportive in who I am, ya know? But fuck, apparently neglect and abuse are supposed to erase all of that? I just…don't get it."
"It is confusing," she answers. "I'm not sure what to say. You're going to feel how you feel, and nobody can change that."
You sigh some sort of affirmative noise, leaning your head against the counter as you gaze at the girl beside you. You've never been one for romance or anything, nobody has ever hit close enough with you – usually because you don't let them. But something about Jade seems trustworthy, and you almost relate to her in a weird, screwed up way. Suddenly, she turns towards you, almost as if she could sense your thoughts.
"I was right," she smiles softly. "You are albino."
You blush in response, turning to the remainder of your apple juice. You drink it down instead of responding verbally.
"I think it's cool," she continues, stifling a giggle. "Your eyes are very pretty."
"You too," you huff as you set your glass down. Fuck, you can feel your face heating up and you feel so vulnerable. You hate it.
But she giggles again, and you can't turn away. "My eyes or like, my whole face?" After you don't answer, you feel a soft fist bump your arm. "I'll take your word for it, cool guy."
There is a soft gust of wind as she stands up, and the spot beside you is cold and empty again. You glance up to see her stretching, and you notice how tall she actually is now that she's standing. "Well, I should at least try to get some sleep tonight," she says with a yawn. She moves towards the staircase, and before she ascends, she turns to you with a smile, "We should hang out sometime. Other than in the middle of the night."
And like that, she was gone, and you were alone again. You really wish you could talk to Bro now, he would have the answers about anything romantic. But, Bro…a sharp pain shoves itself into your stomach, and you're right back where you started. No amount of apple juice could dull your pain, and now that Jade has left you alone, you're not sure of what to do now. You guess that sleep is probably the best option.
