Author's Note: ...I am so dedicated on how to actually frame Fuuka's SL with Shinji and Minako's SL with Shinjiro, too. I have a full notebook page on Sept. and Oct. and circled what dates Minako has her social link because you only get ten days with him, and Fuuka gets 10 days, and some of those days interact with one another because they do stuff together-it's a hot mess, but it's an organized mess. I am working on trying to write these down correctly and almost as accurately as possible.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this next one-it's a dozy, and I thought about how this chapter would end several times. Hopefully it was done well.
Chapter 3;; Straight into Despair
Flash back — September 4th
Fuuka knew today would be a better day. Junpei almost never did anything the day before a full moon battle. So, she knew his day had to be open. Right?
She walked out of her room, noticing that it was eerily quiet—Koromaru was sleeping on the floor near the stairs and yet, nothing. Fuuka carefully ran down the stairs as she felt her heart sank even more. Only people downstairs were Shinjiro, Mitsuru, and Akihiko.
She looked around for Junpei, as if he was a lost dog. She began by looking in every corner she could think of—behind the counter in the kitchen, the desk by the entrance, but nothing. Mitsuru noticed that Fuuka looked slightly worried and tilted her head as she closed her folder filled with paperwork for her father.
"Yamagishi, you look as if you lost something. Could I be of help?" Mitsuru asked slowly as Fuuka stood straight, a little startled, but shook her head. "Are you looking for someone?"
"Yes—well, I thought Junpei-kun was down here, but maybe I was wrong."
Akihiko was fixing his boxing gloves as he turned to face Fuuka from the couch. "Oh yeah—! He told me he was going out and won't be back until later today. Didn't say why, though."
Fuuka crestfallen—this was the second time in less than a couple days that she couldn't get any time alone with him. She began to wonder if this was even beginning to be worth it in the end. She sat down and leaned back in the lounge chair.
Now I look like an idiot. Again.
Shinjiro could sense that Fuuka was beating herself up again. "You should have listen to me, Yamagishi." He mentioned as he turned on the TV, trying to find something that caught his attention. "Iori is an idiot, remember?"
Fuuka sat up in her chair and pouted. "Yes, I remember fondly of what we spoke up, senpai. Just thought he would stay in—he did the last two times." Fuuka sighed, wondering what else she could do. "I just don't want to admit it, yet."
Akihiko and Mitsuru looked at each other, wondering what in the world they were talking about. Though, they did agree that Junpei was an idiot in his own way. "Shinjiro—" Mitsuru grinned as she knew what was happening. It happened to her a few times in her middle school years. Being duped by a guy who didn't like her back, though she was the one rejecting them most of the time. "—do you remember that dessert you made for me, a few years back?"
"Mitsuru, I made you a lot of desserts. Be a bit more specific."
"I was a small, sweet you made. You said that milk chocolate was too sweet so you make dark chocolate."
Shinjiro took but a moment to think of what Mitsuru enjoyed. "Eclairs. Is that it?"
"But of course! You made them better than the cooks at my family home, Shinjiro. You know, I would—"
"Not going to happen."
Shinjiro was quick to silence that offer. He hated the idea of charity for himself—couldn't fantom the idea of working for Mitsuru, someone who helped him so much that returning the favor didn't seem so favorable to him. Fuuka thought of the idea of eclairs, wondering what they would taste like and smiled.
"Senpai, could we, I don't know, try to make some?" Fuuka asked, beginning to pull her phone out to look for recipes. "I am sure we can work together and bring about the same sweetness Kirijo-senpai mentioned."
Shinjiro turned towards Fuuka, his hand putting down the remote and frowning. "…you want to try cooking? I thought you were still a beginner. At least, that's what our leader kept saying."
"Well, yes, but I made onigiri the other day without burning the rice." She held up her finger and pointed towards Shinjiro. "…but that's all I have been able to make." She lowered her hand, her finger curling back inward.
Shinjiro crossed his arms, wondering if they even had the ingredients to make said eclairs. He had to close his eyes and think for a while.
We have the simple ingredients, but everything else might have to be bought.
Fuuka didn't realize how deep in thought Shinjiro was. It made her a bit happy to have someone other than Minako cook with her. "…senpai?" Fuuka called out to him, wondering how deep in thought he really was. Opening his eyes, he turned to Fuuka and got up.
"I will have to go buy the ingredients. Also, we won't be able to get them done tonight. You'd want the cream to sit overnight. It'll taste better that way." Shinjiro explained slowly. "Also, while I'm gone, can you go and check to see if we have a baking sheet and parchment paper?"
Fuuka began to pull a pen and piece of paper from the desk, after she dashed over when Shinjiro decided to list off what they needed "Oooookay." She finished writing that down and turned back towards Shinjiro as he had his fist holding up his chin. "Anything else?"
Shinjiro shook his head. He moved towards Fuuka, grabbing a piece of paper and looking for a pen. Fuuka gave him hers and she couldn't believe how fast he was writing down the ingredients. A couple blinks and he was done. I am impressed—he knows more than he lets on. She thought as he read what he wrote. "Yamagishi—"
"Yes?"
"Make sure to keep everyone out of the kitchen when I come back. Because I'll need your help to make these." He shoved the list in his pocket as Fuuka watched him leave through the door.
"D-do you need help? Or an extra set of hands?"
Shinjiro stopped as Fuuka asked if he'd need some help. It was odd—no one usually asked him for help, it was the other way around usually when no one even asked for help, he'd help anyone who needed it. "…" he let out a sigh. "Sure, but I'll carry the bags, before you even ask. And check the kitchen first, before we leave." Fuuka nodded and made it to the kitchen, double checking everything she was told to find.
Mitsuru got up from her seat and forked Shinjiro a few 1,000 yen. "For this, and for yourself. And no buts." She stated as she held up her finger to him before he could open his mouth. He grinned and shook his head before pocketing the money.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Mitsuru."
After several hours passed and many batches of horrible eclairs later, and almost close to midnight, Fuuka was happy to have at least 10 or so eclairs that were passable. Out of the 50 Shinjiro helped her made. "Well, I guess I'm good only 20% of the time." Fuuka remarked, but still felt proud of herself. "And everyone can have one—except Aigis, and Koromaru-don't want to make him sick."
Shinjiro shook his head. "I don't get it—how can you be so happy about failing 80% of the time? That's not good, Yamagishi." He pointed out as he did the dishes. Shinjiro couldn't understand how she saw the good in the bad.
"I know, but this is something good to look forward to. I couldn't make anything this great—Minako-chan will be thrilled to try these out." She smiled. "Maybe she could join us next time." Fuuka looked up at the clock, noticing how close to midnight it was. At least everyone was safe and back in their rooms. Fuuka put the good eclairs in a container and put them in a place so that Junpei wouldn't eat them all.
After crossing paths with Shinjiro to put the food away, she felt her heart skip a beat once everything turned dark—the Dark Hour was upon them and Fuuka forgot how dark it really gets. It was eerie, but something she still had to get used to. "…this still scares me after all this time." She murmured as she had to reach for the flashlight that was next to the fridge. "Perhaps we should head to bed? It's an early morning for me."
Shinjiro nodded, but added a small grunt as he could feel his Persona raging inside of him. Fuuka thought it was a sign of confirmation. Shinjiro didn't want to let go of his shirt, clenching it tightly at his heart. He couldn't let Fuuka know about this, not her, not yet. However, Fuuka felt something was off, but wasn't sure what it was. Lucia instantly pushed her towards Shinjiro, Fuuka's hand reaching out to his freed arm, and something within her made her freeze. Their eyes seemed to glaze over as their minds were filled with a vision.
It was as if they were in a warm, open meadow-Fuuka's hair blowing in the breeze, long, loose, and smooth. Shinjiro right in front of her-the air warm and the meadow filled with flowers. Their eyes gazing upon each other, as if they've known each other for a long, long time. Fuuka and Shinjiro looked older-more mature and happier, as if something came along and whisked them here, away from reality. As if it was a look into the future yet to be seen.
She didn't know if it was Lucia doing it to her or Castor doing it to Shinjiro, but it was a warm sensation going through their bodies. It was as if Lucia was trying to calm the beast within Shinjiro. Fuuka could feel something cold rolling down her face as she could tell if it was her crying or Shinjiro crying.
Somehow, someway, it worked as Shinjiro began to release his shirt slowly, his fist hurting from how hard he was squeezing his shirt. Fuuka felt as if she was in a trance—her heart pounding in sync with Shinjiro's—as she stared deeply into Shinjiro's eyes. It was, as if, a red string connected them.
Fuuka had to almost force herself to break the connection. She was in such a deep trance that the Dark Hour was already over. Fuuka didn't see anything, but Lucia made her feel many things—especially the pain that Castor was giving to Shinjiro. And the softness of Lucia trying to calm someone so untamed.
They both sat in silence—Fuuka didn't even realize that she was staring at Shinjiro until they broke off from each other. Fuuka removed her hand from his arm, her cheeks flushed red for…embarrassment? Happiness? She couldn't even distinguish what she felt. "Senpai… …I… did you see...felt what I felt?" She whispered softly as Shinjiro looked at his hand—not clammy like it usually is after a flare up.
The suppressants…didn't do half the work of whatever Yamagishi did to me. What the hell…just happened?
Shinjiro was bewildered at the fact. He just nodded silently, his beanie being pulled downward as he felt uncomfortably…at peace. "…you should go to bed. It'll be the best." He somehow let the words fall out of his mouth. Fuuka turned the flashlight off, laid it on the counter, and walked carefully out of the kitchen. Once she got to the stairs, she made a mad dash to her room, as quietly as she could.
Shinjiro put his hand on his chest—his heart pounding normally. It irked him. He reached for the pills inside of his peacoat and looked at them for a moment. For just a nanosecond, he was going to throw them away, down the sink. But he knew it was a fluke. Nothing this good could ever happen to him. Right?
Flash forward — October 10th
"Why the hell isn't anyone doing anything!?" Shinjiro yelled as he had to be pushed back into his wheelchair by Akihiko.
"Shinji, chill. They are doing all they could for her." He mentioned, trying to rub his shoulders to release tension. Shinjiro was yelling at Mitsuru, since her family owns the hospital, and not happy that Fuuka seemed to be in the same state she was at the beginning of the week. He turned towards Fuuka and frowned.
"Shinjiro." Mitsuru sat on the same side Shinjiro was on and leaned towards him. "They are doing the best they can. Yamagishi had a weak constitution before she was even here. You've read her files—she never fought off illnesses easily." Mitsuru slowly explained to him, hoping that would calm him down. She hated to resort to the bitter truth. "Yamagishi might not recover—you need to understand that, Shinjiro."
Shinjiro shook his head violently. "No! Fuck that! She…" Shinjiro pulled his beanie off of his head, relieved that he only has morphine on him now and that he'll leave the hospital soon, and gripped it tightly. "…no, I'm staying until she's awake!"
Akihiko sighed as he almost wanted to slap his best friend in the face. "Shinji, if you were here, would Fuuka do this? No—she'd probably be out there fighting. Now," he turned to crouch down to his height, "Minako might actually do this, but she knows she is waiting for you. She hates to see you filled with anguish."
She does? I thought she… is she even with Aki? Then again, she wouldn't tell anyone but Aki her feelings.
"…tch." He lowered his eyes towards Fuuka again—her teal hair slightly messy, as if she was tossing and turning in her sleep. "…!" Shinjiro felt his heart beating fast, his lungs taking away his breath. Mitsuru's eyes grew in worry as Akihiko knew what this was—he saw it all too well in the past.
"Where is your—" Akihiko began to ask as Shinjiro gripped Akihiko's arm and shook his head. "But—!"
"Give me…Yamagishi's hand…!" He cried out, feeling the despair of Castor wrangling him in to reality. "T-trust me!" Akihiko nodded as their hands made contact as Mitsuru and Akihiko observed what was happening.
His mind travelled back to the first time it happened within the Dark Hour. The big open meadow with flowers around them, it made his eyes grew that Fuuka wasn't there in front of him. But, he could smell the lavender that was on Fuuka's hair, and the chocolate aroma of the eclairs again. Lucia reached out, mentally and in Shinjiro's mind, to Castor, pulling the creature into her warm arms. Fuuka's heart monitor went off—escalating pass a pulse of 100 and her heart rate in the 140s as Shinjiro shook his head. "D-don't…do anything…"
The seniors looked at each other, the alarms going off loudly and annoying—Mitsuru was about to yell at Shinjiro, but then it was over in the blink of an eye. Shinjiro squeezed her hand tightly as his breathing went back to normal—Fuuka's own heart rate and pulse back to regular ranges. Subconsciously, her thumb brushed across his own hand, making Shinjiro jump slightly.
Senpai…you should fight for me. Please.
His eyes grew—he turned to Mitsuru and Akihiko, their eyes as wide as his was. "I am…surprised. Did Yamagishi tell you about this?"
Shinjiro shook his head. "We found out about a month ago—something about her Persona…keeps my Persona relaxed when it's riled up. I…Hell, I can't explain it either." He murmured as he turned his eyes back to Fuuka—her voice seemingly gone, leaving him feel a bit lonely.
"…Shinji." Akihiko softly uttered. He was taken aback. "…is that why you don't want to leave her side?" He asked slowly. Shinjiro nodded.
"If this will get me off my damn suppressants, then why not?" He seemed to have some hope in his voice. "Besides," he wanted to add more, but nothing seemed to came to his mind but one thing, "…I feel her calling out to me."
"…could be that she is communicating with her Persona." Mitsuru suggested. Shinjiro didn't move an inch—he was focused on Fuuka. Mitsuru looked at her watch on her hand and turned back to her allies. "Listen. I don't have time—my father wants an update on Yamagishi in the next hour. I…" She almost didn't want to break his heart.
Mitsuru realized that Shinjiro had fallen for her, so hard that if she never woke, he would be a mess and irreconcilable. "…did not know you and Yamagishi were close. But, stay as long as you feel the need to. Akihiko," she turned towards him and nodded, "stay if you must, but I'll arrange for a group meeting in a few days. We need to talk about what to do about Tartarus and the shadows."
Akihiko nodded slowly, stating to Shinjiro that he'll be back-his stomach was roaring loudly as he quickly made his exit, along with Mitsuru. For the first time this week, Shinjiro was finally alone with Fuuka. He rubbed her hand with his thumb. "Come on, Fuuka. Say something more, please." He whispered softly. Mitsuru was standing outside of the doorway, not fully leaving just yet. She wondered what in the world could calm Shinjiro's Persona so easily, without negative effects. It made her curious and she looked inside the room as she could see Shinjiro's heart ache.
If she doesn't wake up, what will he do then? Mitsuru pondered in her mind. She is our only navigator-and I cannot force my Persona to navigate again. It'll be harder on me- She stopped as she watched Shinjiro stand up, but then he sat back down, laying his head on Fuuka's bed once more.
Mitsuru-senpai...
She jolted from her spot, wondering who was calling out to her suddenly.
Do not worry. I'll be sure to lend my help anyway possible.
Yamagishi...!
Now she knew Shinjiro wasn't crazy-Fuuka could do more than she ever thought she could. It made her wish she asked more about Fuuka and her Persona when she was alive and awake.
I'll get Shinjiro back to you-just give me a few more days. ...I promise.
If you say so.
Mitsuru walked away, her arms crossed, as she felt a smile appear on her face. For now, she would have to keep this to herself. She wouldn't let her father know about the power that Fuuka holds deep within her soul, within her heart. "If you say so, Yamagishi." She whispered outloud, as she walked outside. A warm breeze passed through her hair as she felt a bit more confident about Fuuka getting better and the promise she intended to keep.
