I do not own Hetalia, the rights to the I-phone, an I-phone or Thomas A. Edison the famous American inventor who actually did not invent the light bulb, he just improved upon its design. Joseph Swan really invented it. Don't believe me? Go check the internet.
"A teacher sent the following note home with a six-year-old boy: "He is too stupid to learn." That boy was Thomas A. Edison". - Thomas Edison.
If you have ever had a dog or cat or some normally extremely cute animal follow you around, barking, meowing, or what ever fucking sound they make the entire time, you tend to get so pissed off you want to punt them to the moon or Canada to live with the moose and Maddie's ancestors. Then you, my friend, only understand about a fraction of what I went through with Antonio, when I walked around the school looking for a pay phone. When I finally fucking found one it was outside of the gym as far as freaking possible from the main lobby and from the front steps where I met Antonio only minutes before. He needed to get my attention, so like the Idiota he was he just repeated that terrible nickname he came up for me. The nickname Lovi had gotten old so fast that it was already studied by historians everywhere 5 seconds after it was first uttered by that super caffeinated Spaniard.
"Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi. Lovi."
Toni continued to repeat in an obnoxiously loud voice, as I was listening for a dial tone from the pay phone that was up against my ear trying my best to ignore him and silently praying to a god I didn't believe in, but I sure as hell would have if he had given me a fucking dial tone and made it so I would never have to share the same space as this insane teen ever again. He then started to poke me thinking it would get my attention while continuing to say that atrocious nickname. The whole thing was enough to drive even fucking Gandhi mad.
"Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke.
I was grinding my teeth trying not to kill the poor tomato loving Spanish bastard but it was pretty hard not to considering everything I had been through that day. And it wasn't even 8:30 yet.
"Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke.
Every human reaches that certain point when they can no longer take it and they completely explode. I had reached that point nearly 7 or 8 times today. I was honestly about to ring that fucking tan neck and crush the vocal cords which he used to call that nickname over and over and over and over.
"Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke "Lovi." poke. "Lovi." poke.
"WHAT!" I shouted slamming the broken pay phone back down into the receiver and grabbing Toni by his red shirt and attempting to lift him in the air which was quite awkward being that he was already so much taller then I was and that he weighed a lot. "WHAT THE HELL COULD POSSIBLY BE SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEEDED TO SPEND THE PAST 10 MOTHER FUCKING MINUTES POKING ME!" Antonio looked at me smiling a big giant face consuming, heart warming smile, that probably make all the girls go crazy for him. That smile only made me want to kill him more. "REALLY WHAT THE HELL IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!" Toni then burst out laughing. I let go of his shirt and he leaned forward, laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach.
"You are just so cute Lovi!" He said trying to regain his breath. I may not believe in a fucking heaven or a god damned 'after life' but I sure as hell better be rewarded a shit ton for all the crap I had to put up with Antonio.
"I'm not cute bastard, I'm fucking intimidating." I said but the Spaniard didn't hear me he was laughing so hard.
Once Antonio caught his breath he took his hands off of his stomach and straightened out into his normal posture, regaining the little composer he actually had and smiling at me once again. He looked puzzled for a second, like he was thinking about something, but then his face relaxed as if he had given up on what he was trying to figure out.
"I was going to tell you something Mi Tomate, but I forgot." I stared at the Spaniard weighing my options on what would happen if I actually strangled him. No witnesses. No video cameras. No prior meetings. There was no way to link me to the crime. I would probably get off scot-free. In less, of course, they found some sort of physical evidence, like one of my hairs or some dead skin or something. And of course, being me, they would find some. Then would pick me up in less than twenty four hours and I would be in jail, and on death row. So I decided it would probably be best if I didn't. I honestly at that point didn't believe this day could possibly get worse until I heard 3 sets of foot steps on the tiled floor behind me. This didn't bother me at first even after I saw Antonio's face become even more bright and shining, if that's even physically impossible. I was completely ignoring it, until I heard the first one speak.
"I told you guys I would find him! And the Hero saves the day again!" came an obnoxious American voice. One that was too close for comfort. It reminded me of someone I knew. He couldn't possibly be here, there was no way, I thought, She would have told me if Alfred was coming here. Maddie always tells me things like that. I turned around and then saw him there. Dirty blond hair that never laid flat, bright blue eyes that were always happy and bright much to the similarity of a puppy, and the familiar brown bomber jacket that Maddie had gotten him for Christmas when they were twelve over jeans a blue t shirt and no longer white running shoes. Alfred F. Jones in the flesh and blood himself. I internally cursed Maddie for her lack of interest in Alfred's life and her horrible memory of things that actually mattered instead of how to calculate the area of a square or who is the governor of California, or some shit like that. Behind Al there were two other teens that looked to be the exact same height. One was very similar to Alfred with blue eyes as well, but his were more devious and he wore a smirk that made it seem as if he knew some dirty dark secret about you. He had shoulder length blond hair that curled at the tips and wore what looked like a designer purple shirt, jeans and shoes. Over all, the guy looked as if he had spent hours on everything he was wearing. The other one of the boys was the one that actually stood out the most. He was an albino. The first one I had ever seen in real life and not just on the Internet. He had actual red mischievous eyes that had a touch of boredom in them as if the world had bored him and he had seen it all before and done it all before. He wore all black that made his pigment-less skin and hair actually look even paler. He looked somewhat like what Nano would think was a demon.
"Toni," said the albino, "where the hell have you been ? We looked all over this totally unawesome school for you man. You know the awesome me hates walking." That was when he noticed me. He elbowed the unnamed designer blonde next to him, pointed in my direction, and whispered in his ear. The blonde smiled at me in a way I think was supposed to be seductive but was actually incredibly frightening. I almost grabbed Antonio and pushed him in front of me as a meat shield to protect me from the creepy bastard that's how frightening his face was.
"Now mon ami, you must tell me," he said walking over to where I was standing and putting his arm around my shoulder stroking my arm as he did so, thoroughly creeping me out. "Where on earth did you meet the very beautiful Feliciana Vargas? And what were you doing all the way down here?" I gritted my teeth. Of course they knew Feli, who the fuck didn't, but mistaking me for her? That was just an insult. I had chopped off almost all of my once long hair specifically so I wouldn't be confused with Feli. By that point I had had enough of everyone and everything in this fucking world. If the guy was really going to try and get into my pants the least he could do was realize I wasn't my sister, especially when she had a boy friend. I grabbed the perv by his shirt collar and pushed him up against the wall much in the same fashion as I had tried to do to Antonio only this bastard didn't resist and actually cowered.
"Listen Perv," I said tightening my grip on his collar, "I've had a really hard and fucking long day. So I'm going to make this real simple for you. I'M! NOT! FELI!" I released his shirt and he rubbed his chest where I had grabbed it. "My name is Lovina Vargas and if you ever call me by my sister Feliciana's name again or make some sort of joke about me and the tomato bastard I will kill you. Do I make my self clear?" the blonde nodded. For once I had intimidated someone. Lovina:1 the Universe and Fate: 9,973,411,678
"Oui. Crystal." he said going to stand behind his albino friend who gave me an approving nod. Alfred was smiling as well. While Toni…Toni just looked at me silently. I suppose I was no longer the little dog with out a bite. But finally I looked to Alfred remembering the thing I needed the most in the world at this very moment.
"Hey Al, do you have your phone?" the American looked at me for a second, puzzled, as if what I had asked was far beyond his comprehension.
"Yes," My heart rose at the thought that I could possibly go to Maddie's house and be free of the insane Spaniard who had followed me like a lost puppy for the 20 odd minutes, the pervert, and the albino. "I just left it upstairs in the class room," Alfred said.
"Take me there now. I need to call Maddie." And I dragged him away from the three friends conversing. About my existence.
"Who knew West's little girl friend had such a fiery sister?" came the impressed voice of the albino.
"Oui. A very frightening one. That thing is nothing like Feli," came the voice of the terrified blonde.
"She is mi pequeño tomate. And the most amazing thing I've seen in along time," that Spaniard was an ass, he could make me smile or make me blush in 3 seconds flats. He also made me want to kill him. He was confusing, infuriating, perfect, sweet, irritating and made me feel something I didn't want to. He was everything I needed.
Never ever have Alfred F. Jones lead you through a school. You will be lost 60% of the time as he tries to figure out if he has been down that way before or not. For a guy who claims to be a hero Alfred sure did cause a lot of problems. Finally, after 12 minutes of just wandering, I pulled out the sheet Nano gave me again and found the room number, room 172. It was 8:40 when we got to the class room. It was about 20 minutes before the class was supposed to start. (Why my grandfather felt the need to drop me off an hour earlier than necessary I don't know.) I hoped I would be at Maddie's house an hour from then. Though I actually genuinely liked the classroom that I was supposed to have class in. It was painted sky blue with a black and white checkered floor like a chess board. The desks were on either side of the room facing the center where the teacher most likely stood to lecture. There was a smart board and several chalk boards all around the room with posters of many Shakespearean plays and famous books hanging from the ceiling. The thing about that room though, the thing that I couldn't help but be amazed about, were all the quotes on every spare space on the walls in sharpie marker. Reds, blues, blacks, greens, grays every color of sharpie all over the walls. In awe of the shear awesomeness of the room I momentarily forgot Alfred until he said,
"Lovina? Lovina do you want my phone or not?" I nodded, the American turned and began digging through a red white and blue bag that screamed AMERICA! As loud as fucking possible. Then turned around and handed me an I-phone with an American flag style Otterbox case.
Before I tell you what happened next let me take a moment to tell you about my luck when it comes to I-phones. When ever I pick up an I-phone, that is when Fate becomes the biggest pain in the fucking ass physically possible, every time I try to make a call the phone says 'Sorry this call cannot be connected. Please try again'. I am not kidding every time I even touch an I-phone it refuses to work for me. Calls, texts, trying to check Facebook, it never works. Meanwhile, when I hand it back to the owner and they try to do exactly what I did, same number and Facebook account and all, they are able to what ever it was that I couldn't. Then when they hand me the phone back it says the same thing as before, that it is unable to complete the simple task I want it to. I am not kidding when I say Fate takes every chance to fuck me over I truly and completely mean it. You know everything that happened that day so you understand my complete and utter anger to the fact that Alfred's phone decided to hate me that day. After 26 attempts to call Maddie I threw the phone at Alfred screaming as I did so.
"FOR THE LOVE OF WHAT EVER HATASS OF A GOD HAPPENS TO EXIST IN THIS FUCKED UP WORLD WHY CAN'T ONE CRAPPY I-PHONE WORK FOR ME FOR ONCE IN MY STUPID GODDAMN LIFE!" I turned to one of the walls and tried to drive my fist into the wall. Let me just point out the two key words in that sentence. TRIED and WALL. Let me just say, no matter how fucking pissed you are and how much you want to break an I-phone belonging to a American boy, never, never take that anger out on an innocent wall. You will regret it. Just like I did. You will end up on the ground cradling a throbbing fist shouting profanity in pain as that same American boy just stares at you doing nothing but tapping you with his foot and trying not to laugh. The moral of this story, don't punch walls, kids, especially the wall in room 172.
"Wow," came a voice with a British accent from the now open doorway, "You are one angry teenager." I looked to the doorway to see a blonde woman with glasses, an ugly jade green blouse, a pencil skirt and bright red heels. She walked into the room placing her books down on the teacher's desk then she turned and looked to me and Alfred.
"What?" she said looking at Alfred "You're not going to get the poor girl some ice for her hand?" Al looked taken back like he didn't know how to respond to this strange woman who had just waltzed into this room without so much as a hello I am Ms. … I could understand his alertness from it but my hand was in too much pain for me to care at the moment.
"Why are you still standing there? Go to the nurse you wanker and get the poor girl some ice!" Alfred nodded and ran out of the room as fast as his long tan American legs could. The woman laughed and leaned up against her desk. "God I love this job," she said to no one in particular.
"Um, hey yeah down here," I said, still curled up holding my hand "Really angry, still injured teen down here." the woman turned to me
"Shit. Right, sorry." she came over and helped me to my feet. "I am Alice Kirkland. Ms. Kirkland, I'll be your teacher for the next 6 weeks." She took my hand and examined it. It had grown significantly better in the past few minutes but was turning red. It no longer felt like I had driven it into a wall now it just felt numb, like it had just fallen asleep.
"Looks like you didn't break anything Lovina," she said releasing my hand and walking back to her desk and taking a seat, "You will defiantly have a nasty bruise for awhile but honestly that's better then a broken hand." I looked at the woman for a second. She seemed so proper and well put together, but disorganized, disheveled and sarcastic. It was a beautiful contradiction. I was pondering it when I realized what she had just done.
"Wait," I said. She turned around in her seat and looked up at me. "Back the fuck up, how the hell do you know my name? We have never met before." The woman smiled at me. She had a perfectly flawless smile.
"You're Julius Vargas granddaughter Lovina Vargas. I would know a Vargas anywhere. You look just like Julius. You have his hair, but your eyes just happen to be just a bit darker than his." I looked at the woman annoyed by what she said. I didn't look like Nano, I took pride in that fact. I didn't want to look like the judgmental asshole that raised me.
"How do you know Nano?" I asked
"I worked in his restaurant when I was in high school. Before you and your sister went to live with him. He gave me a call the other day and asked if I could find a space for you in this program. So as a favor I got you in." I looked at Ms. Kirkland ready to rip out her throat.
"YOU ARE THE REASON I AM HERE. THE REASON I GOT UP AT 6:30! THE REASON I'VE BEEN TRYING AS HARD AS FUCKING HELL FOR THE PAST 20 MINUTES TO CALL MY FRIEND TO PICK ME UP! THE REASON I HAVE TO TAKE A CLASS I DON'T WANT TO TAKE AND YOU CALL THIS A FAVOR TO MY NANO! WHAT THE FUCK MAN!" Ms. Kirkland got to her feet, her easygoing personality gone. I turned to walk out the door.
"I'll just go find another fucking phone. Thanks for nothing bitch." a hand grabbed my wrist and turned me around to face the angry Brit.
"You are not allowed to address me in such a way." I could practically see the steam from her anger rising off her skin ad she released my hand. It was actually frightening. She began walking toward me, her finger out and pointing at me. She wasn't yelling like Nano, but she was more terrifying then him by far.
"You are not going anywhere Lovina, I worked hard and called in a lot of favors to get you in this class. So you are going to sit down for today shut your ungrateful mouth and be a part of this class. I don't care if you want to or not. You are." That woman scared the shit out of me. So I sat down quietly at a desk in the back corner of the class room and kept my head down as Ms. Kirkland went back to her desk mumbling about 'ungrateful teenagers'. That is how I got stuck in that horrible class, despite the fact that all I wanted to do was leave. Then again if I hadn't been trapped I wouldn't have stayed and ever seen Toni again.
Hi guys sorry its been more then two weeks since I posted a chapter I'll try not to do that again. The past two weeks were so busy with holidays (Canada day and the 4th of July), rehearsal (almost every night last week), camp (every single day), getting sucked into all of the amazing John Green books (will grayson will grayson, Paper Towns, An Abundance of Katharine's and Looking For Alaska) and my birthday (which was July 3rd :D) I didn't have much time write, and then I had two different ways I could have gone with this chapter. After having Saloria read both versions we both agreed on this one. But I did post a one shot about Germania and the Roman empire on my birthday that I wrote quite a while ago. I'm also very sorry to say I may not be able to write much this week either because of rehearsal again and the fact that I have a job at a camp.
Now I have something small to ask of all of you. Can you guys please vote in the poll of my profile so that I can have some idea of who to put in the next chapter because I really can't decided between the ones I have listed. Hopefully I will get you the next chapter before the end of the month.
Thank you to all of you who have read my story. And a special thanks to my beta Saloria for editing and reading this story my one shot and the new story I am working on.
You are all awesome!
» Alice
