I'm still looking for my beta...


Naruto-prime was rushing towards the Academy in swift jumps. He was going to finish his errand as soon as possible to drop in the Ichiraku's on his way back. He didn't have money for ramen (his conscience couldn't let him pay with shadow cloned ryo), but it could be written on his tab. Having learned from a passing genin that the first part of Chunin Exam had already ended and everyone was gathering near the Forty-Fourth Training Ground, Uzumaki immediately changed the direction. From the corner of his eye, he noticed some pink blot and yelled happily:

— Wait for me, Sakura-chan! SAKURA-CHAN!

Sakura turned back, surprised. She was totally sure that mook had run forward. When she saw Naruto was wandering somewhere again, risking her and Sasuke-kun's chances of becoming chunins, she raised her fist:

— NARUTO! WHERE ARE YOU WANDERING, YOU IDIOT!


Having heard his own voice Naruto Uzumaki turned round abruptly. The riddle of sunset genjutsu had obviously been solved — Grandpa had helped him, of course. The only things left were to listen to the report, dispel the clone and rub the answer in long-haired Hyuuga's smug face. He ran around the corner and froze in terror: Sakura-chan's fist was rapidly approaching his stunned clone's face.

The fist ran into Naruto's nose. Surprised Sakura stared at clouds of smoke and falling paper with a Hokage's stamp.

Naruto reacted without hesitation. He swiftly pushed off the wall and in a long leap caught the paper which he somehow knew was very important.

He was lying on the ground trying to think over what had just happened. The memories of the exam were fresh and bright but he also remembered turning into Tora; he knew how Grandpa spends his labor hours; he was aware of how much harder his goal had turned out to achieve. The realization gradually started to leak into his mind.

Without giving the situation a better thinking (he had always been an action man) Naruto jumped up and crossed his fingers in his worldwide known gesture:

— Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Suddenly an enormous weight pressed him down on his knees. Konoha streets were flooded with an orange sea. Trying to get himself together, Naruto realized, that lending himself to the first impulse is not very good; and that exhausting his chakra reserves shortly before an important exam is quite stupid. Though he was recovering quite fast, so Naruto gave a nod to a half thousand of his alter-ego's and headed towards the training ground 44. His thoughts were circling around the new perspectives.


The group of Narutos was eating up last ramen reserves. Clones were emotionally discussing the film which surprisingly gave them so many things to think about. Firstly, the professional requirements for a true scientist were clear at once. And the word, hastily given to the Hyuuga-asshole led Uzumaki to becoming one. Even the Professor, The God of Shinobi doesn't know the answer, so it'd be quite silly to hope that the problem could be solved easily, without making experiments and reading books. Secondly, there appeared ideas of improving Naruto's image. He already was quite awesome — no one else had an orange sports suit! But only the sky was the limit to his future awesomeness!

All in all, becoming a scientist certainly-absolutely-necessarily-totally required:

1. Citadel. That thought had appeared before — there was not enough free space in the flat for fifteen clones. They decided that the best would be to find a formidable castle but some underground caves or grim ruins would also be fine. They had already known few variants — years of pranking and playing hide-and-seek with ANBU didn't pass in vain.

2. They also needed to find minions, because every true scientist has some. The proposal of The Boss being a scientist and the clones being his minions was decided to be foolish and ridiculous and thrown away in a second. Narutos were pondering of making the Konohamaru's gang the minions: firstly, they were all even shorter than Naruto and secondly, Udon was bespectacled which came in very suitable for a scientist. And the fact Moegi's hair color was the best one in the world, finally affirmed the minions candidacies.

3. He obligatory required a scientist female assistant. She had to have a scratchpad and always follow the Boss and write down his genius thoughts. He wished it would be Sakura-chan but the phantom pain in his jaw made him seriously doubt her candidacy. The vacancy stayed unoccupied — none of the Narutos could agree on transforming with a Sexy-jutsu and boring waddling with a scratchpad.

4. A special scientist outfit. A lab coat (an orange one!) had been a lucky guess but Naruto also needed glasses. That wasn't a problem though — they could put their old goggles back to the forehead and find some better place for hitai-ate.

5. A predatory pet. The movie's antagonist had a pet leopard which looked so-o-o-o cool! But Uzumaki Naruto is the best and the coolest person ever so his beast should be even bigger and cooler! The first one to come into Naruto's mind was Madam Shijimi's cat — Tora-chan. But the aching memories of countless scratches made Narutos think better of it. They also thought of the Inuzuka's ninkens. Kiba's mom had an enormous beast! But Naruto was going to become the greatest Hokage and scientist, so his pet had to be the best of the best! So the pet predator still had to be found but at the moment there were just several obscure ideas floating in the back of Narutos' minds.

**A big scarlet eye opened in the large dimly lit and flooded cage. Then a thunderous sneezing echoed the dark vault.**


Naruto Uzumaki was always getting the best of every person around him. That is why his beloved Sakura-chan was not a brutal kicking ass psycho, but an angel, who had a crush on a wrong person. Gloomy Sasuke despite all his enmity, was a true and close friend, almost a brother. Kakashi, who was always being late and hardly ever paid any attention to his students' progress — was a great sensei, nearly a father. In Naruto's eyes, even the bloodthirsty Zabuza was a good person who got into a harsh life situation, and Uzumaki was very sorry for his death. Not to speak about the death of Haku — the soulmate who showed Naruto his ninja way.

That is why Naruto's perception of the film was totally different from the director's concept — Naruto liked all characters.

The Blizzard Princess was a real Connie. Her life conditions in The Dark Citadel were quite comfortable but still, it was a cage. And Naruto hated slavery with all his heart — it reminded him of Gatou.

The Lonely Ninja was just a proper shinobi — he was cool, fought evil and rescued princesses.

Surprisingly, the greatest sympathy was connected to the main "bad guy". His plans of conquering the world were quite alike Naruto's desire of becoming Hokage. His attempts to win The Blizzard Princess' love were like Naruto's unrequited love to Sakura-chan. And the fact that the final battle between Doctor Dark (who was wearing the coolest chakra armor with a lot of glowing seals lines and different technological stuff) and The Lonely Ninja had finished almost in a draw, and the latter had won it only because of great luck. made Naruto sure that the shinobi-scientist career is not so bad. If only those science books were not so incomprehensible and the words in them — not so complicated!

Someone even made a proposal to learn fuinjutsu — to make the same (or even cooler) chakra armor but it was declined on the vine — there were fuinjutsu facultative lessons in the Academy, but everyone was sure that sealing techniques were very-very difficult.

The only thing which seemed improbable was how took no notice of his pretty assistant's feelings. In his presence, she always blushed and stuttered so badly that even a complete idiot must have understood that she had a crush on him! Another surprising thing was why the Evil Scientist allowed the Princess to kick and punch him every time they met. That made him look importunate and pathetic. Every stupid dummy would realize that at once!

**At the same time Naruto Uzumaki, who was tightly cuddled into two round globes, suddenly sneezed. Anko Mitarashi licking blood from his cheek even bit him in surprise**

To sum up, becoming cool and kick everybody's ass required:

1. Being a scientist. Scientists are cool.

2. Being a shinobi. Shinobi are cool.

3. Being cool, positive and sarcastic, like The Lonely Ninja. Because cool blokes are cool.

The plan was ready. It was time to find Iruka-sensei. But suddenly someone knocked at the door...