A/N
I'm sorry that it took me a while to update, but I have been flat out with study and will be for the weeks leading up to November 8. (exams are draining all my creative energy)
Despite that, I desperately hope to get the actual klex scene in before the actual episode First Time airs. I will try my best and beg you to have patience with me!
On another note I would like to say that I am so grateful for the reviews I've gotten! They make me very happy and beg that you continue with them as I cherish your comments, constructive criticism and suggestions. If you wish to contact me elsewhere you're welcome to find me on tumblr: dapperasanything (are you surprised that I'm a Darren/Chris appreciation blog?)
Last of all I'd like to warn you that some smut presents itself in this chapter. So, if smut is not your thing, then I would suggest skipping the italic areas of the story, although nothing is terribly graphic (we'll save that for the actual klex, won't we?)
Without further ado, I present to you Chapter 3. I hope you enjoy it.
Reviews are loved!
Kurt was staring absently at his front door. Having been left out the front of his house by Dave, he had walked up the pathway to the door and was now standing motionless, apparently unable to move. The fact did not surprise Kurt. No, rather he was relieved that he was finally allowed a moment of pause, although rationality told him that he should probably wait at least until he got upstairs to have this moment. And yet, here he was having it now; one hand clutched around the keys in his pocket, his eyes staring blankly at the shiny doorknob, his mind racing over that night's events. Had he been wrong to say what he'd said? To have done what he'd done? They were supposed to have boundaries for godssake! Certainly, Kurt would be the first to admit that the clarity of those boundaries was slowly becoming more and more blurred as the relationship progressed... But Blaine was, he was Blaine. The ever dapper gentleman. He was soft and sweet and impossibly patient with Kurt. So much so that it had always ended up being Kurt who had initiated anything more than a chaste kiss. That was, until tonight.
And Kurt remembered prom night, crammed into the back of Kurt's car in front of Blaine's empty house and the passion that roared it's way up in his chest at the risks that Blaine had taken for him. A passion that grew until Kurt simply could not stand it, and was suddenly kissing his boyfriend hard of the lips, startling the other boy has he experimentally slipped a tongue into his mouth.
He recalled the hunger with which Blaine was suddenly responding eagerly to his every touch. The careful sweetness that, when combined with that lustful look in Blaine's was the biggest turn on Kurt had ever come across.
The windows were steaming up with the heat emanating from the boys as they gasped eagerly into each other, pressed tightly together. Kurt was clutching desperately at every inch of Blaine's body; his arms, shoulders. Blaine was running nimble fingers over Kurt's torso, exploring his body and he placed kisses over Kurt's jaw, neck, ears, collarbone. Kurt was shivering with pleasure at the new sensation, marvelling at the way that Blaine's ravenous mouth made his body tingle and eagerly exploring Blaine in return.
He remembered nibbling at Blaine's earlobes, running his tongue over Blaine's neck and the noises that Blaine was making; sighs, whimpers, moans and growls, every sound a response to each kiss that Kurt was placing at every point of visible skin.
And yet, that had been it. It hadn't gone further. Not even their shirts had been removed at that point.
But the damage had been done, the boundaries blurred and Kurt realised then, as he continued to bore his eyes into the doorknob, that that was when they should have talked about it.
And yet, in many ways Kurt hadn't wanted to. The lust that had invaded his body that night had not diminished, instead it began to grow, tugging constantly at Kurt's thoughts like an addiction he was unable to shake. Sitting in class, Kurt would zone out into little fantasies in which he imagined the way Blaine's torso would look, bare of any shirt, or the noises Blaine would make as Kurt explored the uncharted territory with his mouth, lips, teeth, tongue. The fantasies grew more and more detailed the more often Kurt would have them, from shirtless make-outs to what it would be like to grasp at the bulge that built in Blaine's pants as Kurt ran his tongue over his boyfriend's skin.
Kurt recalled the desperation and hunger he felt as what has begun as a movie night had turned from tender and romantic into a lustful thirst for each other's kisses. He remembered gasping into Blaine's ear as Blaine sucked a bruise into the hollow of Kurt's neck. He remembered moaning softly as Blaine ran his tongue over Kurt's ear and the unreined fire that rushed through his veins as he began to tug off Blaine's shirt, exposing a whole new world of skin to explore. He recalled the look of wonder in Blaine's eyes as he had proceeded to return the favour for Kurt, the way that his eyes savoured each inch of skin that revealed itself as he did so. He remembered the gasps that had emitted themselves from his own throat as Blaine had run teeth down his chest, and the low moan of desire that Blaine uttered when Kurt tentatively reached down for the hard bulge in Blaine's part. The widening of Blaine's eyes as he looked up, startled at Kurt and the way they had darkened with passion as Kurt palmed his hand gently at the hardness there, his own erection pressing achingly against his pants. The way that Blaine had placed his hands on it and the feeling, oh god the feeling of that friction that Blaine's hand created which was painfully pleasurable, causing Kurt to throw back his head with a suppressed moan.
Kurt shook the memory away with a sigh. That was it, then. The boundaries had come down. Whether it was anyone's fault, Kurt couldn't decide. All he understood was that Blaine had been out of line with his drunken behaviour and that Kurt, himself, should have explained how he'd felt about "it" earlier. If he had, they wouldn't be in this mess.
The door opened with a creak, starling Kurt out of his reverie.
"Kurt?" his father stood at the door, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "How long have you been standing there? I heard Blaine drop you off ages ago."
Kurt shrugged up at Burt listlessly, pushing past him to enter the house and walk to the lounge. Burt closed the door with a gentle click, following his son into the room to find him curled, like a cat, on the sofa staring listlessly into nothing.
"Kurt," Burt began with a worried frown. "What's wrong?"
Kurt glanced up at his father, eyes red from crying earlier, and shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it."
"What happened?" Burt demanded, recognising that look on Kurt's face all too well.
Kurt sighed and buried his face into his hands. "We had a fight." he said monotonously, the words triggering the memory of the argument, tearing painfully at Kurt's insides. "I really don't want to talk about it."
Burt hovered in the doorway uncertainly, "Oh, uhm, well." until the look on Kurt's face told him all he needed to know; he needed to be alone. Burt placed a warm hand on Kurt's shoulder comfortingly, grasping it gently in reassurance. "Maybe in the morning, then." he said gruffly, placing a gentle kiss on Kurt's forehead. Kurt offered a weak smile in response. "You should get upstairs." Burt said gently.
Kurt nodded without really paying attention and stared blankly as Burt left the room before, with a sigh, he gathered himself up and walked down the stairs to his bedroom so that he could collapse suddenly exhausted onto his bed.
He hadn't thought that he would be able to sleep, what with the knot of anxiety that was twisting its way viciously in his stomach, and yet suddenly he was sitting up suddenly with a jolt, heart pounding as he tried to clear his head of the fog that he associated with waking up much too early after much too little sleep. A glance of his phone told him it was nearly 5 in the morning and the reason he had woken so suddenly. Flashing on the screen of his phone was a message from Blaine. Hand trembling, Kurt opened the message and read it.
I'm out the front. Will you let me in?
Kurt rushed upstairs to the window, peeking out the blinds to find Blaine sitting in the grass of the front lawn, staring intently at the phone in his hand. After a short moment of contemplation and a quick reply, Kurt proceeded to sneak quietly down the hall to the front door which he opened softly. And Blaine was standing there looking dishevelled and deeply sad, gazing at Kurt wordlessly with eyes that spoke a hundred words.
Kurt held a finger to his lips and allowed the other boy in side, motioning for him to follow down the stairs and into his room, which Blaine did obediently, staring silently at Kurt as the taller boy quietly locked his bedroom door. As soon as the key turned Blaine began whispering softly in a great rush of words that flew so fast from his lips it was nearly impossible to understand what he was saying.
"Oh god, Kurt. I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. Well, I do know what got into me, it was the alcohol but that's no excuse for my behaviour! I just – I've been walking around all night and I found myself at the end of your street and I realised, like, really realised what I had done and oh my god Kurt, I really didn't mean to pressure you into anything, I swear I didn't! I mean, what happened with Karofsky, if I ever did something like that – but I did do something like that and then you told me to stop and I got angry at you? I can't believe myself, I can't believe what an asshole I am and I'm so so so fucking sorry, Kurt. I can't apologise enough. I'm a selfish, stupid, insensitive asshole of a boyfriend and I don't blame you if you break up with me, I swear I'd deserve it. I deserve so many bad things right now and I just – God, Kurt. I'm so sorry."
Blaine had been pacing up, down and around Kurt's room as the words burst out of his mouth. Now, as he broke of his rambling he stepped towards Kurt, making as though to hug him before seemingly realising the situation that they, that their relationship, was in and the way that unwanted contact was what had cause the argument in the first place. Silence lay like a suffocating blanket over the two of them, Blaine moving to sit on Kurt's bed and stare at the floor. "You can break up with me now." he said quietly.
Kurt, who had been staring at Blaine unmoving, suddenly moved towards the boy who was sitting dejectedly on his bed. "What? Blaine, no." he began, relief suddenly pouring into him as he processed the words that Blaine had spoken. "Look at me, Blaine." suddenly he was sitting next to Blaine, turning the other boy's face with his hand. He was startled to see tears were dripping off Blaine's eyelashes and began wiping them away with his sleeve and he firmly held Blaine's face in place. "I'm not breaking up with you, Blaine."
Blaine blinked slowly at Kurt, his eyes filled with emotion. "But I – what I did, I mean –" the tears were spilling over again. "God, Kurt. I've never felt this way about anyone before, y'know? And all of a sudden you come along and I'm full of these overwhelming emotions and it's terrifying and thrilling and wonderful. You make me feel giddy, you know that?" he was wiping his eyes now, staring intently at Kurt as he sat up straighter, trying to convey something important to his boyfriend. "You make me feel giddy and carefree and when I'm with you I'm happy. Like, really happy. I'm happy to just be able to look at you, to hold your hand, to feel you curled against me, to kiss you... And you drive me insane. You're this flawless, beautiful boy and some part of me is hungry for you. It wants to explore every inch of your body, to join with you, to melt into your touch and –" he broke off with a blush, gazing up at Kurt. "I'm perfectly happy at the pace we are, well were, progressing, Kurt. I really am. Every touch, every kiss drives me wild with pleasure. Just knowing that you're mine does that to me. But you're like a magnet Kurt, you're pulling me in and that part of me apparently won't stay down when I'm intoxicated, and I don't mean that as an excuse, I really don't, I just want you to know that I didn't mean to, that I really am happy with how we are and that I won't ever do it again unless you're ready, I swear." he paused looking intently as Kurt. "That is if you'll still take me." he murmured, averting his eyes.
Kurt sighed at his boyfriend's words, a smile tugging at his lips as Blaine's apology and earnest confession filled his heart. "Oh, Blaine." he sighed. "I adore you, you know that?"
Blaine looked up at Kurt, a guarded look in his eyes, as though he was trying desperately not to let his barriers down and envelop Kurt in affection.
"I do adore you." Kurt went on. "And everything you said about us? I feel it, too. I do. But –" he cringed slightly at the thought. "We need to talk about this – the physicality of our relationship." he looked at Blaine. "I forgive you," he said seriously. "And I trust that it's not going to happen again."
Blaine was shaking his head in agreement with Kurt's words. "Of course, Kurt. I would never –" he cringed slightly. "Never again." he amended quietly. Hesitantly he pulled one of Kurt's hands into his own. "I'm so sorry, Kurt."
Kurt melted at the touch that, though such a small gesture, conveyed so much. Suddenly everything that had been churning in his stomach all night had stilled with Blaine's word, at his touch. With a smile, Kurt pulled Blaine's arm around his shoulder, wriggling the two of them back so that they lay, curled around each other on his bed. Looking up into Blaine's eyes he smiled. "I know, Blaine. I love you."
Blaine's heart stopped for a moment as Kurt's blue eyes met his own hazel ones. He couldn't believe the way that this incredible boy in his arms was his. Inwardly he resolved never to do anything to hurt this wonderful person, and this incredible thing they had again. Tightening his grip around the boy in his arms, Blaine nuzzled his face into Kurt's hair, relishing in the way that their bodies fit so perfectly into that comforting position. "I love you, too, Kurt."
Kurt closed his eyes with a sigh, the pure sweetness of the hug beginning to wash over his body in waves, taking away his anxiety and leaving him impossibly drowsy. Realising that he had his boyfriend in his room, alone, with the door locked was not a good idea had little effect on him. He was too drowsy to let Blaine go and to happy to be in his hold to care enough about the ramifications of their actions. Finally at ease he drifted off to sleep in his boyfriend's hold.
