A/N: Thank you to the lovely msmerlin and BirdieMing for their beta work! And I have been and would be remiss if I didn't thank brownlark42 for her continued assistance in being both an excellent alpha and idea-bouncer and, of course, my real life best friend. This work wouldn't be what it is without all three of these lovely ladies.

The good news is that this story is now complete! I'll be posting a chapter every week or so as it works it's way through my lovely beta's.

If you loved this (or hated it) let me know about it in a review! Find the aesthetic for this story on my Tumblr: crochetawayhpff or my Facebook Shan Crochetaway.


It's an art to live with pain... mix the light into grey.

-Eddie Vedder


October 2021


She walked into his office and shut the door behind her. "I know this is bad." She cast a few silencing and warding spells, not trusting Sirius to not eavesdrop on them.

"Bad? A man who has been dead for twenty-five years is walking about claiming to be your Magical Guardian. I think this moves beyond the realm of bad," Aggie spat at her.

Hermione closed her eyes. She deserved that. She wasn't a naive schoolgirl. There was no reason for her to have said that phrase aloud, to have summoned Sirius here.

"I'll fix it."

"How?"

"I'll get him sent back somehow. And I thought he was—how did you see him?"

Sirius had told her that he could make himself invisible to everyone but her, and she was sure nobody in the atrium had seen him. So how did Aggie? Did Sirius forget and become fully corporeal?

"Anti-invisibility spells on the whole floor. You know that. Not even Potter's cloak works down here. You both figured that out the hard way, remember?" Aggie reminded her. Hermione bit her lip in shame. How stupid could she be? She had known that. Everyone who worked in the department knew that.

"Right."

"He's clouding your judgment." Aggie narrowed his eyes at her. Hermione closed hers in response. Aggie was right, Sirius was clouding her judgment.

"I'll send him back," she said again, "as soon as I figure out how."

"What's in the book?" Aggie asked.

"Sirius says it's Irish. Really, it's bloody insane what he says. He says he was in a misty-grey place, and the Unseelie King sent him to be my Magical Guardian."

Whatever response she had been expecting from Aggie, it wasn't the one he gave her now. His eyes widened, and he reached out to grip her arm tightly. "Is it the Unseelie King's Grimoire? The book? "

"I-I don't know," Hermione said, and she pried Aggie's grip from her arm. She frowned at him. "Why?"

"Bloody dangerous, it is! And if that's what brought him back? Now you're mixed up with the Fae! Merlin, Circe, and Nimue, girl. It's reckless and irresponsible," Aggie raved.

"Well, it wasn't on purpose!" Hermione shouted at him. "There's some sort of compelling charm on it that made me say this stupid phrase, and then there he was pleased as punch in my fucking kitchen this morning!"

"Don't you shout at me, lassie!"

Hermione let out a breath. "Sorry, Aggie. It's not your fault. It's mine. I'll clean it up and send him back. I promise."

"You better." He glared at her. "You just better. Get out."

Hermione nodded and left his office. What a disaster.


"Bossman isn't happy?" Sirius asked as he twirled around in her office chair and stared at the ceiling.

"No," Hermione grumped, slamming her door shut behind her.

"That's too bad." Sirius shrugged.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. "You don't seem that put out by it."

"Eh, I'm not. So did your boss figure anything out?"

"I don't think so. He's as worried as I am that this might be the Unseelie King's Grimoire." Hermione gestured at the book lying on the desk between them.

"Want me to ask him?" Sirius asked.

Hermione's jaw dropped. "You have access to the Unseelie King?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't actually know," he frowned and rubbed his jaw, "but he's the one who brought me here. So I imagine I could call him—"

"No!" Hermione shouted, putting her arms up as if to ward him off. "No, don't go calling the Unseelie King. Merlin, don't you know how dangerous the Fae are? Especially the Unseelie?"

Sirius shrugged again.

"You don't, do you?" Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. Typical.

"No, I do. I just think you are over-cautious. The Blacks have a long history of dealing with the Fae. Actually, it's said that the original Sirius, the one from about fifty years after the first Roman invasion of England, had an affair with Mórrígan of the Tuatha Dé Danann. When a child was produced from the affair, Mórrígan gifted Sirius with the child, and Sirius raised it as his own. And that's how the Ancient and Noble House of Black began," he explained nonchalantly.

Hermione dropped heavily into her visitor chair halfway through Sirius' tale. He was related to the Tuatha Dé Danann, the gods that ruled over ancient Ireland, which meant he was descended from the Fae. No wonder the Blacks are so gorgeous. She shook her head to clear those thoughts.

"Hermione?" Sirius looked concerned. "Did I break you?"

"Th-That's just a story, right?" Hermione asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Probably. But it is interesting. There are all sorts of stories like that littered through the Black family tree."

"Mórrígan?" Hermione asked. "Truly?"

"So the legend goes," Sirius said breezily.

Hermione closed her eyes and dropped her head into her hands. Her head hurt. There was too much to do. She was going to have to mess with the Fae in order to return Sirius, and she needed resources on the Fae, maybe someone who was experienced in dealing with them.

"How can you be so blasé about this? It's the Fae we're dealing with. How am I supposed to send you back?"

Sirius frowned at her. "Why do I have to go back? I just got here."

"Because you're dead. You've been dead for a quarter of a century. And you can make yourself invisible to other people, so don't go telling me you're alive again," Hermione snapped at him.

"I want to see Harry," Sirius said in a small voice.

Hermione met his gaze, and she saw pain. Why did she have to be so cruel? Rubbing in the fact he'd been dead for so long. She gulped and closed her own eyes, unable to look into his anymore.

"Sirius, that's not a good idea," she said.

"You are no fun," Sirius pouted, his playful facade back in place.

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, even as guilt draped over her. She needed to be nicer to Sirius. He was just as stuck in this situation as she was. Her brow wrinkled as she contemplated the book lying on the desk between them. They would definitely need to speak with someone from the Death Chamber, but the last thing she wanted was to invite more people into the secret. Could she trust Sirius to stay locked in her office?

"Sirius," Hermione began.

"Yes, kitten?" Sirius asked with a small, playful smile.

"Don't call me that," Hermione scolded. "Can you stay here, and keep quiet? Don't open the door, don't talk to anyone…"

Sirius lifted his eyebrow. "I'm not actually a dog, you know."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I know, but there are anti-invisibility spells over the whole department. That's how Aggie could see you. I need to consult with some colleagues, and unless we want to cause a panic about my sudden ability to raise the dead, you need to stay a secret."

"Fine," Sirius said, sighing heavily. "I'll stay here."

"Good, I'll be back shortly." Hermione nodded firmly and left her office, shutting it tightly behind her. She cast a locking spell and a silencing charm at the door, hoping it was enough to deter Sirius.

Hermione didn't particularly care for most of the other Unspeakables she worked with and only knew one of the wizards who worked in the Death Chamber. Ethan Bole was a tall, skinny man with a rather morose face. Hermione would have never spoken to him on her own, but one day he sat with her in the Ministry canteen, and he had recognized her as a fellow Unspeakable. He looked sullen, and Hermione assumed that's who he was, but in fact, he was quite jovial. Hermione's sides had ached by the time they finished eating.

She made her way to the back corridor she and Sirius had used earlier. She hated the Room of Doors and avoided it at all costs. Counting as she went, she opened the hidden door to the offices located behind the Death Chamber.

"Hermione!" Ethan called cheerily from his office as soon as she knocked on the door.

"Hi, Ethan." She smiled at the man who extended his hand to shake hers.

"Come in, come in." He gestured to the chair in front of his desk. "What brings you by?"

Hermione took a deep breath. She'd been contemplating what she'd ask him on her walk over. Should she ask about the afterlife? About Beyond the Veil?

"What can you tell me about the afterlife?" Hermione settled on.

Ethan pursed his lips. "Hmm, well, there are lots of theories, and little research available to the public."

"I'm more interested in what's not available to the public," Hermione told him.

"I'm guessing you won't tell me why?"

Hermione shook her head. "Maybe someday. Not today though."

Ethan nodded and sat silent for a moment. Hermione twisted her hands nervously. She knew that the research most Unspeakables did was not for public consumption, but that didn't mean they knew anything more than the public did. Or that Ethan would share that with her.

"The Greeks had it about right," Ethan said finally.

"What do you mean?"

"Elysium is about as close as we can come to describing the afterlife for most souls, which we call Beyond the Veil. Tartarus is where someone like the Dark Lord's soul would have gone. We call that the Void."

"So no misty-grey place?" Hermione asked.

Ethan's eyes snapped to hers, and he frowned. "I've not heard of such a place. Why do you ask?"

Hermione pursed her lips. "I can't tell you that."

"I see."

Hermione sat for a moment in thought. If Sirius hadn't been in the afterlife, where had he been?

"What happens when someone goes Beyond the Veil?" Hermione pointed to the room behind him.

"You mean if someone was pushed through the Veil? Like Sirius Black was all those years ago?"

Hermione swallowed hard. She was sure Ethan didn't actually know the truth, but she still felt as if she were playing with fire. She nodded.

"You were there that night, weren't you?" Ethan's eyes narrowed.

Hermione nodded again. "But I had been taken out of the action before that happened. I didn't see it."

"Well, they quite literally go Beyond the Veil. It's a door directly into the Veil, or into Elysium."

"Not the Void? Not some—some waiting area? Like purgatory first?"

"From our research, no, but the afterlife is still a mysterious thing. If someone's soul was damaged enough, it could put them into the Void. We haven't seen that happen though."

Hermione nodded. She didn't think Sirius was in the Void. He'd never murdered anyone, and he'd gone to his death with a clear conscious as far as she knew, but she'd have to ask him.

"Thanks, Ethan." Hermione smiled at her friend.

"You will tell me what this is about one day, yes?"

Hermione nodded.

"Good." Ethan smiled at her, and she left his office with more to think about than ever.


Hermione returned to her office to find Sirius reading the book. There were words present, and he was taking notes on a piece of parchment to the side of the book.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, shutting her door and rushing forward, worried he would damage the book or unleash something more horrific.

"Reading," Sirius muttered and trailed his hand along the page of the book to keep his place as he turned to the parchment and began writing once more.

"What's it say?" Hermione asked.

"It's slow going, but I'm trying to translate what I can for you."

"Really?" Hermione was surprised. She could see a bored Sirius reading the book because he had nothing better to do, but translating it for her seemed like a step above.

"Yes." Sirius finally looked up at her. "I'm your Magical Guardian, you want this book translated, so that's what I'm doing."

"Oh," Hermione responded. "I didn't know it worked like that. I didn't mean to compel you."

"You didn't, but I'm not stupid, kitten." Sirius grinned when she scowled at his pet name for her. "You won't rest until you figure out this mystery," he pointed to himself, "so I'm helping." He shrugged. "Although, why you don't just enjoy the mystery is beyond me," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, honestly." Hermione rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She was trying to keep from laughing. It was no use encouraging his antics.

He turned back to the book, and Hermione stepped around to read what he had translated so far. It was all about guardians and the afterlife. And something called the Grey. Her brows furrowed in concentration, and she looked at the book. It was written in a mixture of Ancient Runes and Irish and her eyebrows shot up in surprise. Sirius was translating from both Ancient Runes and Irish at the same time, almost seamlessly, that was impressive.

"How far have you gotten?" she asked him.

"About a page and a half." He let out a snort of frustration.

"You're doing well," she encouraged. "But move to the other side of the desk, yeah? I have other things to work on while you do that."

"Demanding," Sirius complained even as he moved the book around and sat in the visitor's chair.

The end of the day arose, and Hermione had got caught up on most of her other parchmentwork, finishing classifying the rest of the items from the Selwyn estate. Sirius had made a decent headway through the book, having a whole scroll of parchment filled with translations. Hermione moved to grab it, but Sirius stopped her.

"It'll be better if we discuss it with the book present. Leave it here for the night."

Hermione frowned. She knew he was right, knowing she wasn't taking a book that was possibly the Unseelie King's Grimoire home to her cottage. Home. Shit, how was she going to get Sirius out of the Department of Mysteries? He'd become invisible once they were out of the department but that counted on getting out of the department without being seen.

"Stay here a moment," Hermione said before ducking out. Aggie was in his office, but she wasn't worried about him. She opened the door to the back hallway and found the coast was clear before she hustled back to her office and grabbed Sirius' hand pulling him after her.

"If you wanted to hold my hand, kitten, you should have just asked," Sirius joked.

"Don't call me that," Hermione muttered absentmindedly as she guided him to the back corridor. She checked one more time to see that it was empty before hurrying Sirius down the corridor and toward the stairs. As soon as they were on the stairs, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Alright, your invisibility should be working again. Hold onto my shoulder. We'll be going through the Atrium to use the Floo."

"I'll—"

Hermione held up her hand to cut him off. "I'm done with the innuendos for today, okay?"

Sirius frowned but nodded and placed his right hand on her right shoulder. Hermione turned from him, unable to get that puppy-dog look out of her mind. He looked so sad that she didn't want to joke around with him. She steeled herself against those feelings though. Those feelings were very dangerous. Sirius was not alive, and she could not allow herself to get to close to him.


Hermione cooked pasta for dinner and was shocked when Sirius ate it all, maybe he was more alive than she was giving him credit for. He was corporeal enough to need food. But did he eat for fulfillment or because he and she both expected him to? She wasn't sure how she felt about running any sort of experiment on him to find out. If he did need to eat and she experimented on him, then it was torture. Did it matter in the long run? She was still planning on figuring out a way to send him to the afterlife. Apparently, she couldn't send him through the Veil. He'd done that trip once already, and wherever he'd ended up wasn't the afterlife, if Ethan was to be believed. And she did have to believe Ethan, because if she didn't, then she had no logical leg to stand on.

Her small cottage had a second bedroom, but Sirius took one look at it and decided he'd kip on the couch.

"Are you sure?"

Sirius removed his wand and transfigured the couch into a small bed. "I'm a whiz at Transfiguration. Couch is fine for me, kitten."

Hermione glared at him. She'd been correcting him all day. Perhaps if she ignored it, he'd stop.

"I'll be fine," Sirius assured her. Hermione nodded and headed to her bedroom. It had been an exhausting day.

She got ready for bed and tried to shut her mind down, but all she had going through her mind were thoughts of Sirius and the afterlife and the notes he'd taken from the book. She really, really hoped that it wasn't the Unseelie King's Grimoire, but the look on Sirius' face at the end of the day made her suspect that he'd found something to suggest it was. Climbing into bed, she doused the lights out with her wand. She was tired enough that it didn't take long before she was out.


"Wake up, Hermione!" Someone was whispering at her. She mumbled something intelligible and rolled over.

"Come on, get up!" the voice said again.

Recognizing his voice was like a glass of water to the face, and Hermione sat up fast. It was still dark out, and Sirius was standing over her with his wand lit dimly.

"Sirius?"

"Oh good, you're awake."

"Because you woke me up, you idiot," Hermione hissed, reaching for her wand.

She lit her bedside lamp and found Sirius looking almost manic as he paced her bedroom.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

"I had a dream," he began. "But it wasn't really a dream. It was more like...I think it was dream-walking. Do you know what that is?"

Hermione nodded and motioned for him to continue. Dream-walking was similar to what Muggles called astral projection. If someone was dream-walking, they could see other people's dreams or other events. It was a very indistinct area of magic, like Divination.

"Right, I was dream-walking, and I was back in that grey-misty place. Except, this time, I wasn't alone! James was there, and Lily, and Remus! Dumbledore too and loads of others. They were all just milling around in this same place that I was before."

"Did you talk to anyone?" Hermione asked. She wasn't sure if what Sirius experienced was really dream-walking. It would be the first time he'd slept in over twenty years. It was possible that it was only his imagination.

"Of course I did! I went up to everyone I recognized and talked to them, but it was weird. Dora wasn't there, neither was Ted. Or Fred, or Snape, or Pettigrew. It's like some dead people were there, but not all of them. And…this is going to sound insane, I know, but I think Grindelwald was there."

"Was Voldemort?" Hermione asked sharply. Could this have something to do with the Horcruxes?

"I didn't see him, in either of his incarnations."

"Do you really think you were dream-walking?" Hermione asked gently.

"I don't feel rested. I feel like I've been awake for ages. I…some of the things James talked about, it's… It's like we were all in this grey-misty place by ourselves. James said the same thing to me, that he'd been alone for so many years, and now suddenly, we're all together. Or they are all together, I guess. I'm here. Do…do you think it has to do with the Unseelie King?"

Hermione swallowed hard. "I think it has to do with me calling you back here," she said quietly.

"Well, I have to say, that dull, misty place is boring. It's just grey—"

"Is it the Grey?" Hermione asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I was looking over your notes, and there was a lot of talk about something called the Grey." Hermione shrugged.

"Maybe." Sirius looked unsure and sat down on the edge of her bed. Hermione drew her feet up to make room for him. "I want to go back. I want to see James again, and Remus."

Hermione smiled sadly at him. "I promise to send you back. I have to."

"But at the same time, I want to stay here," Sirius said and caught her gaze. His grey eyes swirled with an emotion she didn't recognize. "I want to see Harry, at least once."

"Okay," Hermione said, exhaling loudly. "We can see Harry, but I don't think it's a good idea if he sees you."

Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Think you'll be able to go back to sleep?" Hermione asked, trying to suppress a yawn.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I can try." He got up and left her room, closing the door quietly. Hermione laid in bed for a long time, thinking about everything Sirius had said.


November 2021


The door to Grimmauld Place swung open. "Hermione!" Harry shouted.

"Hi, Harry." She grinned at her friend and gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek.

"How come I don't get kisses on the cheek," Sirius grumbled from behind her.

Hermione's smile tightened as she tried to ignore him. He'd promised to stay invisible and keep his comments to a minimum, so far, he was not off to a good start. Sirius had been back in the land of the living for over two weeks now, and they weren't any closer to figuring out a way to send him back. He was dream-walking to the Grey almost nightly. Hermione had tried to keep him from going, telling him he needed his sleep, but it was like he couldn't stop himself from seeing James and Remus. And truly, how was Hermione to begrudge that?

"Hermione!" Ginny cried as she too entered the entryway of Grimmauld Place.

"Should have known he would go for the redhead, just like his father," Sirius said.

Hermione gritted her teeth to keep from kicking him. "How are you?" she asked Ginny instead.

"Good, good. Let's go to the kitchen. I'm almost finished."

"Butterbeer, 'Mione?" Harry offered as they made their way down the short set of stairs to the kitchen.

"I'm loving what they've done with the place," Sirius said, gazing around at all the changes made to his childhood home. This was easier for Hermione to ignore.

Dinner with Harry and Ginny turned out to be pretty brutal for Hermione. She kept biting her tongue every time Sirius decided to make a comment. On top of that, he stole food from her plate when Harry and Ginny weren't looking. She didn't know how the rules of invisibility worked for him. Did the food go invisible when he touched it or after he put it in his mouth? She didn't know, and he was driving her nuts with it all.

"Blimey, 'Mione, you were hungry, eh?" Harry laughed, seeing more food disappear from her plate.

Hermione smiled. "I skipped lunch today. I've been working on closing out the last few items from the Selwyn estate. I'm almost finished." She aimed a kick at Sirius.

"What? I'm hungry, witch!" Sirius complained.

Ginny stood and began clearing the table.

"Let me help, Gin," Harry said and began piling dishes up to take to the sink.

"Would you stop?" Hermione whispered to Sirius. "You can eat when we get home." She stood from the table, intending to help Harry and Ginny clear it.

"What was that?" Ginny asked, and Hermione whirled around to find Ginny standing right behind her.

"Oh, nothing, just commenting on the lovely home you found for that painting Molly gave you at Christmas," Hermione covered, pointing at the hideous painting of a meadow Ginny had hung in the corner of the kitchen.

Sirius snorted. "I like the way you said home, kitten."

"Oh." Ginny laughed. "I hid that hideous thing in here so most people wouldn't have to look at it."

"Right." Hermione smiled. "Well, thanks again for dinner, I hate to cut the evening short, but I have to get up early in the morning."

"Aw, come on," Sirius whined. "Please let's stay a bit longer."

"Understandable." Harry smiled, returning from the sink. "I'll walk you out."

"Dinner was lovely," Hermione told Ginny and gave her a hug.

"Don't be a stranger." Ginny returned the hug.

Harry held out his arm, and Hermione laughed as she took it. "Everything okay?" he asked, concerned for one of his oldest friends.

"Yeah," Hermione said tiredly. "Just busy at work. You know how I get during the school year."

Harry chuckled. "I do know. It's why I insist on these bi-weekly dinners. I think it's the only way to get you out of the DoM."

Hermione smiled but didn't say anything. She didn't regret divorcing Ron, but she did regret that she spent most months out of the year alone. Maybe once she got this mess with Sirius cleaned up, she could attempt to date again.

"Thanks again, Harry. You're a good friend," Hermione said, hugging him.

"He looks so much like James," Sirius said sadly once they walked out of Grimmauld Place and onto the path out front.

"Yeah," Hermione agreed, even though she'd only ever seen photos of James. She gripped Sirius' arm and Apparated them home.