I apologize for taking so long to update . But here it is! And yes, forgive me for any typos. Not beta-read.
P.S.: You don't like it, don't read. Quit yer whinning.
I never thought I'd be so grateful to be saved by the bell in all four years of my high school life. It seemed as though the seconds inched by like hours in my last class, I honestly thought I'd die of utter boredom. However, I did have something to think about during that time. Yes, him. Our conversation at lunch, I kept wondering if I became friends with him too soon. If I asked him that question, why me, so soon. Do I really want to do this? I do hope this doesn't turn into something where someone gets hurt. Yet, there's a voice in my mind, so small I question myself if it's even there. It tells me what I fear may actually be true.
xxx
"Shit..." I looked up at the ominous grey thunderhead shrouding the sky with frustration, wishing the rain would hold just a bit longer until I got home. Walking home in a wet shirt and slacks is not one of my prefered activities.
'It would be slightly better if I at least saw him.'
No. There goes that damn voice again, saying what I don't want to hear. It wouldn't make things better at all. It'd only make them worse because the sight of those deep chocolate eyes, that slender, smooth face, that glistening blonde hair... My heart wouldn't be able to take it. But wait! One would only react like that if they were falling for someone, right? I'm not falling for him, I'm not. It's too soon for that! I'm going crazy.
"What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing."
I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard his voice so close behind me.
'If I wish hard enough he'll go away.'
"Please, Szayel. Turn around."
'No, no, no. Just go away. I can't face him. It's to soon. I can't feel this way.'
Yylfordt walked closer to me, so close I could feel the heat radiating from his body.
'If he doesn't go away, I'll do something I'll regret.'
He grabbed my wrist firmly and yanked it so that I'd stop walking. My breathing quickly became ragged as I turned to look at him. I could feel hot, stinging tears well up at the corners of my eye.
"Yylfordt, why can't you just leave me alone? Don't you see what you're doing to me?" I stepped closer to him, our lips barely an inch apart. I spoke softly, feeling my mouth brush against his.
"Damn you Yylfordt, damn you."
And with that I closed the distance between our lips, kissing him with a passion I'd never thought I'd experience. As our kiss intensified, I ran my hands up Yylfordt's strong back and held him tightly like it was the last time we'd meet. I moaned softly as i felt his eager tongue lustfully explore my mouth. To add to this cliched scene, the rain began pouring down on us, soaking us completely. Hell, we didn't give a shit. All that mattered was that we wanted to keep at it for as long as we could. Soon our lungs screamed for oxygen and we broke our kiss, but still remained just inches apart.
"Szayel?"
"No, don't speak. Let's get home."
We continued on our way home, "closer" than before.
xxx
Friday had arrived very slowly. The days inbetween were supposed to be "good" days, since what happened on Monday. But, I'd actually been avoiding Yylfordt the whole time. I don't know what it is, but I still can't be bear to see him. When I did see him, I had thoughts, sensual, dirty thoughts. These thoughts, I didn't understand them. I couldn't concentrate when I saw him and it annoyed the hell out of me. I knew I needed something, but what?
xxx
After school had let out, I kept hearing slivers of other student's conversations about some party this girl was throwing at her house that is supposed to be "the best thing to be at". I'm not really the partying type, but since I'd do anything to get my mind off this stupid nagging feeling, why not? I asked one brown-haired girl that was walking in front of me out of the classroom who exactly was having this she had turned around, I knew I had asked the wrong person, because she had one of the most idiotic smiles plastered onto her face I'd ever seen.
"Oh my God! Yes, 'course I know who's havin' a party! You know Cirucci Sanderwicci?"
"Purple hair? With the spiky hair pin?"
To my disappointment, her smile widened and she squealed loudly in response. Cirucci must have quite an impact on annoying people.
"Ah yes, yes, yes! Party starts at eleven, you should come! I bet she'd love for you to come."
"Well, uh, thanks. See you there."
And with that she was gone, finally. As exited the room, something told me that I'd have a nice time tonight. Let's hope it's right.
xxx
I looked at myself in the mirror in my room, contemplating on what I should wear to this party. I had gone through five pairs of jeans and six different tops already and I couldn't believe how feminine I was acting. It was truly the most humiliating thing I had experienced without spectators. Again and again, I scanned my body, wondering if this was alright to wear. I was clad in a simple red-and-black striped band t-shirt, black jeans with a studded belt, and my old beat-up high-tops. The color of my shoes really didn't matter to me since I figured no one would be staring at them all night anyway. I looked at the clock to see that it had just turned to twelve.
"Better to fashionably late than awkardly early, I guess." To change things up before I left, I took off my glasses and put in contacts. Weirdly, I thought my face seemed more subtle without glasses. Maybe that's for the best. With one last examination of myself, I left my room and walked out my house, hoping to have a great time.
xxx
Before I knocked on Cirucci's door, I prayed that the nerve-wracking brunette from earlier won't greet me. Then again this is Cirucci's party, so shouldn't she greet people? Whatever, it didn't matter anymore, I just wanted to get in. Once I knocked, the door flew open and I strolled ino the mix of loud music, dancing bodies, and strong aroma of alcohol. And of course, the party had a main color scheme of purple. I quickly found something to drink in Cirucci's very cramped kitchen, then headed over to her less crowded living room. It was a bit shocking to me that this part of the house would have less people, but I didn't really mind. I sat down onto one of the various lavender couches and observed the party from afar. Just as I had exepected, almost everyone I knew was here. Either they were dancing, drinking, or just talking, they were here. I really couldn't see how they could deal with all this... Purple. I stretched out and relaxed on the couch and before I could even take on sip of my drink, I saw one of the most entrancing things I'd ever seen. Beside the staircase, there he was, grinning and laughing with some green-haired, large-chested girl. I couldn't believe how good he looked, standing there, it was just amazing. But I could not stand how happy he looked talking to her, I knew I had to do something about it. Annoyed, I tossed my drink aside(not my house) and walked nonchalantly up to him. I abrubtly stood in front of the green-haired girl and spoke to Yylfordt with the most calm voice I could manage.
"Yeah, so what's that you wanna talk about?" I interuppted his answer as I pulled him upstairs into the hallway.
"Szayel, what is up with you? You avoid me the whole week, then suddenly you want to speak to me as if the world were ending!" His eyes flared with anger, yet they were tainted with a bit of misunderstanding. I didn't think he'd react like this, but then again he is a human being.
"Yylfordt, please listen to me. I don't care if you're mad, just hear me out. I am truly sorry for avoiding you, but please understand, I couldn't stand seeing you. I mean that in the kindest way." I wasn't in the mood for a re-enactment of our first meeting. He said nothing in return, he just stared. I could see the hurt in his face and it pained me to watch.
"C'mon, forgive me! I didn't mean to avoid you. It's just after what happened Monday, seeing your face drove me up the wall and I had no idea why!" He held his hurtful gaze a few more seconds, then I saw the faintest smile on his mouth.
"Why are you smiling? This is not funny at all and you know it."
"Oh, yes it is. It's hilarious." What the hell was up with him? How could he find any of this amusing?
"Why exactly is this hilarious? Enlighten me."
"I think this situation is funny because I know 'exactly' why you're acting like this."
"So now you're Einstein, huh?" I couldn't not take how he just took me for a fool right now.
"No. The reason why you were avoiding me, the reason why you interuppted my conversation with Nel, the reason why you're angry now is because... Oh nevermind, you wouldn't believe me." That was it, that was the last straw. I seized his shoulders firmly and pushed him into the wall.
"Now will you talk to me like you have some sense, or will you continue treating me like an idiot!"
"Hey! Calm the fuck down before we get kicked out. You're gonna out of chances to regain your sanity if you keep treaing me like this." Slowly, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and loosened my grip on him. I'll get it out of him, one way or another.
"Okay, will you help me understand why I'm not myself? I know that sounds like something from a D-list movie, but you're my only option." Yylfordt sighed like I was a child didn't understand something simple.
"How can I put this? You."
"Me."
"You. You want to know why you feel like this."
"Yes I do, tell me."
"You might not want to believe it and you dread to speak it, but I know it's true. Szayelaporro Grantz, you love me." I wanted to say something, anything, but my body would not obey my commands. The stinging truth, the absolute reality was that he was right, and I couldn't for the life of me deny it.
Please review! Bad or good, you know what I'll ignore. Arigato :3
