"Where? What happened?" Greg's vision returned, blurry at first but soon he was able to focus on the worried face by his bedside.

"You had me scared shitless man" Nick let out a deep breath and tried to smile at his friend.

"I don't understand" Greg whispered, his whole body ached and his head was spinning madly; what had just happened? Why wasn't he at work? "You're in the hospital mate, you collapsed. The doctor says your body simply couldn't cope any more, it decided to send you a severe message" the Texan explained.

"It got my attention" the DNA expert replied.

"Things are gonna change, for one thing your gonna come and stay with me for a while" Nick stated sternly, he was not going to take no for an answer this time.

I collapsed at work today, ended up in the hospital, now I am here at Nick's. I'm too tired to write any more.

"Here we go mate, you just lie down there, nice and comfy" Nick gently helped his friend over to the sofa in his front room and returned a few moments later with a blanket "There, now you just try and rest for a bit ok?" the dark haired man smiled caringly, all Greg needed was some TLC and he was going to be the one to give it.

A gentle nudge brought Greg back to the real world and he rubbed his eyes sleepily "How are you feeling? Better?" Nick didn't wait for a reply instead he helped his friend to sit up a little and passed him a pot with his medication in.

"How'd ya know which ones I needed?" the ill man asked, his voice still sounding weak "I'm a CSI level 3. I investigated. I got these from your locker at work, then figured out that since you need one 4 times a day and one 3 times a day and both are with food it was fairly certain that a dose was due about now. The others are to combat nausea so they would also be taken with a meal, well they would if you ever ate anything…" the dark haired man smiled and Greg returned the expression tiredly.

"Good job Nick" he whispered quietly.

"Right next, dinner…" Greg looked ready to protest but the senior criminologist held up his hand for silence "I am not taking no for an answer, you are getting some food in your belly if I have to force feed you" he gave his buddy a steely look.

"Do you really want me to redecorate your floor?" the stubborn patient replied.

"I'll take my chances, now open up." Eventually Nick managed to get his friend fed, remarking that it was like having a child and telling stories of how his sister had been forced on more than one occasion to sit on her brother and put a spoonful of food in every time he opened his mouth to scream, such was his stubborn streak when it came to creamed carrots. "Bet you feel better for that don't you?" The older scientist smiled, feeling pleased with his efforts so far.

Greg groaned "What's the matter?" Nick asked, suddenly concerned, he had never bothered to ask if his friend was allergic to anything; it would not be good if he had managed to poison the lab-rat on his first night out of hospital.

"My tummy hurts, I am so stuffed!" the young man groaned again. "Hmmm forgot that your stomach would have shrunk during your hunger strike. Well we'll soon sort that out" Nick carefully began to rub his patient's stomach to help it digest the food more quickly. Greg wasn't sure that he was comfortable with such close contact, he and Nicky were friends, best friends, but this was verging on something more, love even and he was definitely straight. Still he wasn't exactly in a position to argue and it was making his cramps go away.

Nick stayed with his friend until he fell asleep; he was past the first hurdle, now he just had to get his friend strong again and fighting the cancer that had invaded his body.

Friday 26th October 2007

I've been at Nick's house for 2 days now and boy do I feel different for having him look after me.

I know I have gained a bit of weight back already and if he keeps feeding me like this it won't be long before I am back to normal. Hope he stops at that point, I don't want to turn into the half tonne lab tech!

It's not just that though, already I don't feel as tired, at least I don't think I do and although I do still feel sick a lot of the time having Nick around lets me forget about it, he takes my mind off being ill. I feel like I'm one of the guys again instead of the person that everyone feels sorry for.

So the next challenge I gotta face, getting ready for my splenectomy, yep they have to remove my spleen to help me get over the Leukaemia. It's times like this I am grateful for being the biology geek, at least I can understand what is going on, see the spleen is like the warehouse for blood cells that are waiting to be put into general service and since mine are 'deformed' by the cancer it means that my spleen is storing cells that will make me sick. Unfortunately the chemo can't get at these cells in the spleen so the only other answer is to remove it, lucky for me it's an organ I can live without.

Doc says that he will book the op as soon as I am back at a healthy weight, he wants me to be at least 145lbs before he will consider putting me under the knife, ok to some people that would be a reason for staying underweight but I have to be practical, if I put off having the op then I may never get rid of the cancer because my body will just keep releasing bad cells back into itself, and I certainly don't fancy that as an option.

"Right, come on lazy bones, time for some exercise" Nick grinned lightly and put his hands on his hips as he starred at his patient.

"What do you mean lazy bones?" Greg demanded jovially.

"You haven't moved from bed for two days, what else would I call ya?" the dark haired man laughed, Greg was already looking much more like his old self, he was still thin of course but then it had taken two months for him to go down hill, he wasn't about to turn back into the smiling bean pole that the Texan knew and loved in two days.

"Whose fault is that? You haven't let me do anything for myself since I got here" the junior investigator laughed, he hadn't felt this good for so long and the bubble of laughter that seemed to tickle inside him only served to lift his mood even more.

Saturday 27th October 2007.

Went for a walk with Nick yesterday, boy did it feel good to get some fresh air into my lungs. We didn't go far, I am still quite weak, much as I hate to admit it, but we managed to get to Ethel Pearson Park and then we just sat and talked, I actually felt normal for a while!

Sunday 28th October 2007.

Everyday that passes I am getting stronger, it is only now that I realise how ill I actually was.

Nick wants to know what I keep writing down, I told him it was just a coping technique, getting my thoughts down on paper so that I could deal with how I was feeling. He doesn't need to know it's a diary.

My Texan nursemaid/slave has gone out for some 'me' time, can't blame him really, looking after someone is hard work and I know that I am not an easy patient, still I have a little surprise planned for his return, just something to say thank you for looking after me.

Nick had reluctantly left Greg alone for a few hours while he went to get some supplies and have a break from being the Norwegians carer, it had been his patients idea actually "Mate, I will be fine on my own for a couple of hours if you need to get some breathing space" the young man had said seeing the tired look in his friends eyes.

Worry had aged his friend in the last week and Greg desperately wanted to repay the senior CSI's kindness, he had an idea in mind but it meant getting rid of his temporary flat mate first.

If it weren't for Nick I might not be here any more, its not just that he has taken me into his home and nursed me back to health, I am sure that a hospital or even a hospice would have been able to achieve the same end result, at least physically but having him around making bad jokes and taking my mind off being ill has been the biggest turning point for me.

I think I just got so caught up in feeling sick and wanting to avoid the nausea that I forgot to keep myself healthy and able to fight the demon inside me.

Tonight I am going to make dinner and take care of Nick for a while, I would normally take him out to a restaurant, pull out all the stops, but I am not sure I can handle that kind of thing just at the moment so this will have to do.

Nick put his key in lock and opened the door to his home only to be greeted by a delicious smell. "Welcome sir, allow me to show me to your table, dinner will only be a few minutes" Greg had changed into his favourite t-shirt and jeans, packed the blanket away to a corner and cleaned up the house a little, he was determined to make it clear just how much he appreciated his friend using his vacation time to look after him.

"What's all this for?" the stunned Texan asked looking round the room, unable to take in what was going on.

"I wanted to do something special, to say thank you. I would have taken you to a restaurant but they tend to frown upon people falling asleep in the soup and popping pills before the main course."

Nick laughed "You didn't have to; believe it or not I have actually enjoyed having you here."

Greg smiled and led his friend over to the sofa where he had set up tables ready for dinner, once the ex-cop was settled in his place Greg switched the TV on to his friends favourite sports channel and retreated to the kitchen to serve the meal.

My little surprise went down well; I don't think Nick could believe what was happening. He's been waiting on me hand and foot for the past two weeks, forcing me to eat and getting me out in the fresh air and tonight I waited on him, and let him watch the sports channel all night. At least I assume he watched it all night, I fell asleep just after the half time show.

Wednesday 31st October 2007.

Halloween today, you know what that means, candy and lots of it! I am on such a sugar high right now!

This morning I weighed in at 131lbs, can't believe it, all that food and I have barely gained anything, I was so sure I'd be up around 140lbs by now, still maybe its better that way. I read an article online about different eating disorders, now I am not and have never been fat or thought myself to be fat but my recent loss is similar to that of someone suffering from Anorexia. My current BMI is 17.8 which makes borderline Anorexic and definitely underweight. According to that I should be aiming to eat about 3000-7000 calories a day and gaining 1-2lbs a week, at that rate I will be drawing my pension before I get heavy enough to have this op.

Thursday 15th November 2007.

Can't believe it's almost Christmas already!

I am still staying with Nick even though I am able to look after myself now. We agreed that the company is good for me, and anyway I will probably need his nursing skills after my op.

As of this morning I weigh in at 144lbs and according to everyone at work, I look a hell of a lot better! Even Hodges said I looked more like the old Greg. I think that was a compliment, you never know with Hodges.

The shops are filled with goodies ready for Thanksgiving and Nick is talking about visiting his family in Texas. Kinda makes me want to spend time with my own family, my mum and grandpa Olaf, it would be nice to be together this Thanksgiving.

My friends say that I don't talk about my dad much; that references to him are limited to when I was very small, like how he used to take me sailing and fishing. He died when I was 12, and well I never really got to know him, not as a friend anyway. I still think about him of course, whenever I achieve something I imagine him looking down on me from heaven and smiling. Mum says I have the same smile, I think me and him are quite similar in appearance and she sometimes finds it tough to look at him and see him when he is not around anymore.

This has to be a side effect of chemo, I don't think I have ever told anyone about my dad and now here I am writing it all down in a diary that virtually anyone could read at any time.

Thursday 22nd November 2007.

So now I am back home in San Gabriel, sitting on mum's sofa and watching her cooking the Thanksgiving treats, its like being a kid again, everything here still looks the same as I remember.

Thanksgiving has always been a strange holiday for my family, it is my fathers family that is American and the traditions come from him, my mother and my grandparents come from Norway. Mum usually manages to slip some Norwegian delicacies into the feast, she always said that part of Thanksgiving is celebrating our past and giving thanks for the life we have been allowed to live, she figures that our past is Scandinavian so we should give thanks to those people too and honour them by eating traditional foods from their country.

So on the menu today we have roasted butternut squash soup, turkey with a lingonberry sauce; these are a little like cranberries! Roasted potatoes, carrots and green beans, sweet potato bacon biscuits and of course pumpkin pie.

There is also Rakfisk, this is a rare Norwegian food consisting of fermented trout, it sounds like it should be disgusting but believe me you need to try it, maybe I'll take some back to Las Vegas with me and show Nicky.

Mum also managed to get hold of some cloudberries, these are special, I think I have only had them about three or four times in my life before, how can I describe the flavour, it is kind of like fruit yoghurt, creamy and sweet, we traditionally serve them with cream and sugar.

Grandma Olaf has also made apple cake to be served tomorrow when it has had chance to settle and the flavour to come out properly.

Lastly there is cheese, too many varieties to write down here, Scandinavians really love cheese!

Mum has of course been fussing over me, she knows I have cancer but I don't think she expected me to be bald, I swear I told her when we talked, maybe I was avoiding telling her details so she wouldn't worry about me.

Grandma Olaf has spent today slipping me treats, I think she is trying to fatten me up, thank goodness she didn't see me a month ago!

Grandpa Olaf has gone to buy a block of ice, he likes to carve it into a shape for the table, not that it ever lasts long in the Californian heat!

I think he still has trouble thinking of this as a winter festival when there is no snow. He hasn't lived in Norway for over 40 years, not since he was thrown out for you know what, but it is as if each year he expects to wake up at some point during thanksgiving and find himself snowed into the house and able to open the door and select some ice to use for the centrepiece in our celebration, guess he was disappointed again this year.

Sunday 25th November 2007.

Back in Vegas, the town that never sleeps. It's getting kind of late here since my flight was delayed and I am pretty tired so I guess this will be one of the shorter entries.

As is traditional for the holiday season I ate until I couldn't move and then after an hour or two ate some more, if I haven't gained weight this week it will be a miracle!

Mum begged me to stay longer but, I hate to say this because it sounds like I don't care, frankly I couldn't stand her style of nursing any more. Here at Nick's house, yes he cooks and cleans but you know he also says things like "Hey lard arse, get your behind off the sofa and give me a hand" at mum's its more like "Do you want me to help with anything mamma?" "No, no, what are you doing up, you should be resting…here eat this, you are wasting away to nothing…don't get up to operate the TV I'll switch it on for you…" it's nice for a few days but I have never been able to sit still for long. Now that I am ill mamma wants me to stay on the sofa or in bed 24/7, it's just not going to happen.

I was also packed off with enough leftovers to feed a small army, say the marine corps of the entire USA! Lucky I managed to get it into the freezer. Nick's back tomorrow, hope he is hungry! Oh yeah forgot to say, I go under the knife in 4 days!

Monday 26th November 2007.

Nick turned the key in the lock and kicked the door gently with his boot; it was good to be home.

He smiled as he saw his friend curled up on the sofa fast asleep, to the Texan's sharp eyes Greg looked a little heavier than when he had last seen him; clearly his friend's family was as bad as his for eating too much at Thanksgiving. Nick patted his own stomach; he needed to go to the gym, pronto!

The TV was playing old Looney Toons cartoons; Greg hated to admit just how much he loved the colourful characters especially Wile E Coyote and Marvin the Martian. The senior CSI remembered fondly one time at a party the then lab tech had been drinking red bull all evening and making himself hyper on both sugar and caffeine at the same time. He had been doing impressions of different TV and film characters, he had wowed his friends with ET and sent a cold shiver up Sara's spine with his impersonation of Golem saying "My Precious" but the piece de resistance as far as the company was concerned was when Greg had covered his ears with his hands and shut his eyes as if expecting a loud noise then looking up and saying in a perfect imitation of the character voice "Where's the kaboom? There's supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom."

To know Greg Sanders was to truly lead a fun and happy life, he could light up a room with his smile or lift you out of whatever blue funk you found yourself in with a joke. He was an unashamed show off and always lived for the moment. Nick shook his head, he couldn't think like that, Greg was going to be fine and yet the dark haired man couldn't stop himself from describing his friend as if he had passed away somehow, as if this was all a dream and that having the hyperactive Californian as his flat mate was just a dream, that Greg had died that day he had collapsed at the lab….