Bleach Shinchan

By Technomaru

Chapter 3: Shin battles a Hollow with his elephant

Note: I DEFINATELY do not own "BLEACH" nor Crayon Shinchan. They are both shows on Adult Swim. I decided to go with the Funimation dub.

yet again...

THIS FANFIC IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF

YOSHITO USUI

the creator of Crayon Shinchan

(1953-2009)

"To be a man you must have honor, honor and a penis...

he has both..."

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Penny wakes up after being attacked by a creature that came out of her Happiness Bunny. She notices a chain attached from her chest and to... her corporial body. Then she sees a Hollow that resembles a giant bunny. The Hollow then says to Penny, "Hello Penny... DADDY'S HOME! And I'm going to stick my tentacle where the sun never shines... AHAHAHAHA!!!

Penny then looks at it's eyes and screams.

(Nohara Residence)

Shinchan was just sleeping and dreaming of being in a hot tub with Rukia... and Nanako, and Victoria Silvestat. Victoria then says to Shin, "You are so cute... I mean at least you're dreaming about me this time and not that jawbreaker obsessed kid who hangs out with the other three kids named "Ed"."

Shin wakes up and sees Rukia wearing her fingerless glove with a soul reaper symbol on it. She punches Shin in the head and it causes him to leave his body while wearing a Soul Reaper uniform. Shin then says, "Hey I was dreaming of being in a hot tub with hotties!"

Rukia has a angry mark on her forehead and says, "We got more important manners in our hands. A Hollow has been spotted and it appears to be in Penny's house!" Shin then shouts, "Oh no! I sense danger!" Shin runs out the house and to Rukia's suprise he sees Shin peeing on a streetlamp saying, "I need to drain Mr. Elephant." Rukia just hits Shin on the head and says, "No you idiot, we need to fight that hollow!"

Shin and Rukia then run towards where the hollow signal is located. Shin then asks Rukia, "Yo Rukia... got change for a dollar? I'm thirsty" Then Rukia then says, Here's some yen to get you a can of soda (hits Shinchan) YOU IDIOT! NO MORE DISTRACTIONS!"

Shin and Rukia made it to the Milfer house and they see Penny's spirit attached to her body by a chain of fate. Rukia then says to Shin, "Oh and one thing I forgot to mention Shin... Hollows are really the corrupted spirits of humans who have died and either let their emotions corrupt them or if the chain of fate erodes into a hole. Shin then says, "So pretty much if Kim Soto from across the street died, then she's be a hollow? Rukia then says, "I see you're getting the hang of it, now kick that monster's ass... SHIN!"

Shin is showing the hollow his penis while dancing around. The creature is horribly confused and then Rukia hits Shin on the head and says while writing on a notebook, "Shin and Rukia's rules number 1. Don't show your "Mr. Elephant" to a hollow!" Penny then asks the two, "Look, I don't know who you two are but are you going to save me from this hollow who appears to be a cross between happiness bunny and my departed abusive father?"

Shin then has a fierce gleam in his eye and goes after the hollow. Rukia then shouts, "Oh no... SHIN! WAIT! I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PROPER TRAINING TO FIGHT THAT BASTARD!" Shin then pulls down his pants and rubs his butt against the creature's face. While Penny watches the disgusting sight, Rukia goes up to her and says, "Good, the chain of fate in unharmed, you'll be able to be brought back to life soon enough." Penny then says to Rukia, "Please do! My "Hollow-daddy" said that after he kills Shin he's going to stuff his tentacle on my "danger-zone". So she uses her very little powers to heal her and be able to put Penny's soul back in her body as she watches Shin battle the hollow.

After Shin stops rubbing his booty on the creature land on the ground and summons his Zanpakto. It is a large and intimidating Western-Style curved sword, held in one hand and carried by Shin slung over his back with the handle over his right shoulder. There are two tusks on the hilt, which is shaped like two circles side-by-side (giving it a number 8 shape), with the main blade set between them, and one tusk is set on top of one circle, and a short tail on the pommel. Apparently long story short it looks like a Elephant.

Shin then shouts at the hollow, "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND... MR. ELEPHANT!" Rukia is shocked and says, "His zanpakto looks like a elephant... and he names it after his penis?" Shin then dashes towards the hollow while dodging it's attacks. Soon with a big leap, he slices the Hollow's head in half and he vanishes into nothingness.

Rukia then says, "That's amazing Shin, how did you learn to fight hollows?" Shin replies, "Oh I played with my Wii-Wii" Rukia looks at him and Shin replies, "Oh ok I played the new "Action Bastard" game on the Wii." Rukia then says, "I spent many years training to fight hollows, and it took you one month playing a videogame to fight a hollow? What's this world coming to? What's next? Cartoon Network starts showing live-action programing?"

So Shin and Rukia leave Penny's house but not before they fix it up as if the hollow never showed up.

(The next morning at the Super Happy Fun Time American School)

Rukia is looking over Shin's homework and Penny sees the two and she says to them, "Hi guys, I had the weirdest dream and you were in it, and you too Rukia, and so was the tentacle monster from that one japanese animated movie that was for adults. Shin then says, "Oh yeah Penny well I had the weirdest dream too and I'll tell you what it was in the form of a Family Guy-esq cutaway gag.

(Cutaway begins)

Shin was walking the streets at night dressed in black and white striped pajamas, but then he sees a strange building that looks like something from a funhouse except it's colored black and white and the entrance is decorated with a hollow mask and the mouth is opened revealing the doors. A neon sign flashes and it reads "Hueco Mundo Room" and on the top of the building he sees what appear to be Arrancar Prostitutes who just call out "Shinchan! Come out and play!" Shin then says, "Oh yeah! Here I come baby!" Only for Rukia to appear with a firehouse and blast Shin from it. Rukia tells him, "Sorry Shin but this dream is so not right and Arrancars aren't supposed to appear until later in the story... yes I can enter your dreams and shame on you!"

(Cutaway ends)

Shin then continues, "And when I woke up I wet myself!" Penny then says in a disgusted way, "Well thanks for sharing that Shin... I don't think anyone remembered that scene in "Beetlejuice" anyway. Shin notices Rukia is having a hard time trying to open a carton of milk. So Shin opens it for her... and gives it to her. Rukia then says, "Wow Shin, looks like my training is making you such a good boy... you didn't drink the whole thing like you usually do. Shin then says, "No I have a better way to get back at you for ruining my dreams twice in a row." Rukia wonders what he meant by that.

(Later that night)

Rukia wakes up in the middle of the night in Shin's closet. She heard something in there and when she opens it she sees sees someone dressed like a school boy, wearing geta sandals and a yellow and black striped chanchanko vest. The boy has his bangs cover his left eye. Rukia notices he looks very familiar and she starts screaming in fear. The boy turns out to be Shin who is just dressed like Kitaro and after he makes a creepy cackle he just sings, "Poo...Poo... Poo poo poo poo poo!" Rukia then says, "Hey wait are you trying to be a parody of "Hakaba Kitaro" or "Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro"?" Shin then says, "I wanted to scare you by being dressed like Hakaba Kitaro because you told me you once had a nightmare that you gave your powers to him... did he fight monsters?" Rukia replies, "Either way you shouldn't bring up my nightmares like that... fine I'll let you dream about Alyson Hannigan or whatever floats your boat, but please no more references to Hakaba Kitaro ok?" Shin then asks, "What about Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro?" Rukia then says, "That's ok then, at least he's cute and fights monsters. Well goodnight Shin. This will be the first weekend I spend in this crazy world.

NEXT TIME: Rukia makes the mistake of leaving her gigai and snacking on the Nohara Family's food... now the family thinks the house is haunted! Will Shin save Rukia from this mess or is he going to scratch his balls while this happens? Find out next time!

OMAKE TIME: A SHITTY PARODY OF DEATH NOTE!

One night, Georgie is sleeping but he wakes up and to his horror he sees what appears to be Shinchan but with white skin, fangs, brown eyes, and wears a strange black bodysuit with leather wings attached to his back. Georgie asks, "What is this? What the hell are you?" Shin then replies, "Yo! I'm a Shin-igami and since you've been a good boy this year I want to give you this!" And the "Shin-igami" gives Georgie a brown colored notebook and flies away as he tells Georgie, "Be sure to follow the rules of the notebook, one of them is if it ends up in your world... it's yours!" The "Shin-igami" just lets out a fart and flies away. Georgie then shouts at him, "And why do you act like Santa Claus?"

Georgie then thinks to himself, "If I didn't know any better, I think this is the notebook that Shinigami use to kill whoever they write their names on it. Maybe I can try something..." Then Georgie writes the name "Osama Bin Ladin" on the notebook and since he is a republican despite being a Japanese Kindergardener... he writes down "Barack Obama" on the notebook.

(40 seconds later)

Georgie decides to watch Fox News as opposed to Fox Network. Then it shows a news report that Osama Bin Ladin is FINALLY caught. He was caught taking a massive dump in the bushes and since he was busy pooping he was unable to run away and is caught.

In another news report, Barack Obama was going to have a speech on Healthcare Reform, but all of a sudden... He runs around shouting, "RESTROOM! WHERE'S THE RESTROOM! I GOTTA TAKE A DUMP THAT WOULD CHOKE A MONKEY!" So Obama runs to the local restroom while the interviewers follow him in pursuit.

Georgie is shocked beyond description and he says to himself in horror. "I...I...I don't get it... this notebook is supposed to kill them but it makes them crap themselves... WHAT KIND OF NOTEBOOK IS THIS?

Georgie looks at the notebook and to his horror it reads "BROWNNOTE" Georgie then says, "Of course! I need to check the rules on this notebook:

The human whose name is written in this note will take a dump.

The note will not take effect unless the writer has the persons face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore people sharing the same name will not be effected.

If the type of poop is written within 40 seconds of writing the persons name it will happen

If the type of poop is not specified the person will simply just take a dump.

After Writing the type of poop, details of the poop should be written n the next six minutes and 40 seconds.

This note shall become property of the human world once it touches the ground of(arrives in) the human world.

The note will never run out of pages... and it can be very conviently used as toilet paper.

Georgie then tests it out by writing four names down and watching the news he hears that Al Gore has "the green apple splatters", Michael Dukakis has "Mud butt", Hillary Clinton just craps herself during a huge speech, and Joe Biden has crapped blood and is about to use "Chipotl-away".

Georgie then thinks to himself, "Despite having the power to make Democrats crap themselves and cure constipation, I shall not lower myself to Shin's level and continue using this cursed notebook... except for when I need toilet paper.

(a year later)

Georgie wakes up in the middle of the night and sees the "Shin-igami" reappear and Shin tells him, "Yo! You've been a good boy this year and I want you to have this... "The Yellow Pages", it works like the "Brown Note" but in another way." Georgie then says, "Oh F()k me!"

THE END!