Chapter 3:

Cottage life was getting to Wolfgang; or rather, it had been. It had been, until three and a half days into his stay in Breinz County Cottage number sixteen, and several cans of cheap German beer into his afternoon, when Sun had appeared at his feet, prison fatigues soaked with sweat, slowly doing one handed pushups.

After a promising first day, Felix's condition had worsened, as the respiratory infection that Julia had feared sent him into violent coughing fits. This pulled at his partially healed stomach wounds, which in turn sent Felix into an alarmingly black temper.

"I almost preferred the hopeless flirting." Wolfgang overheard Julia muttering to herself as she poured the cocktail of medications for Felix into the neat little sections of his pillbox.

Wolfgang hovered at first, but when it became clear that this was just adding to Felix's sense of helplessness, he had taken to sitting on the patio of the cottage, smoking, drinking and glaring at the almost offensively beautiful view.

The cottage was nestled into the wall of a valley, which inclined sharply until it met the blue of Lake Brienz, just elevated enough to allow Wolfgang to stare at the snowy peaks of the Alps. Which was what he had been doing, right until he lost a push up contest against a skinny Korean woman half his size.

"No hard feelings," smirked Sun. She was out of solitary and her spirits had risen significantly, especially with the news that her brother had been suspended from the Bak board of governors. "I have beat men far stronger and faster than you."

So he had taken up jogging. Ten kilometers down to the lake, where he would reward himself with a swim and then ten miserable kilometers back up to the cottage where he would reward himself by punching something and then collapsing dripping wet onto the grassy lawn in front of the cottage.

"You are one bicycle away from the world's most whiny triathlete," commented Felix from bed: his open window faced the lawn.

"I don't bike. You know that." Wolfgang had never learned, as if his father or uncle would ever think to teach him. "Fucks with my image."

"Environmentally friendly is the new black," quipped Felix, leaning forward as Julia adjusted his pillows. His cough was a little better today, and there was some colour to his skin. "Wouldn't you say Julia?"

" I would," said Julia, her purple scrubs matched her hair today; she looked oddly like a cartoon character. "An ex and I once biked the Kitt Peak route in Arizona. Took us seven and a half hours."

"Seven and a half hours!" Felix dropped his voice to a stage whisper, "Weren't afraid his bits would fall off?"

Wolfgang decided he had heard quite enough of that conversation and wandered off to the patio, leaving the two to enter into a semi-earnest discussion on the merits of padded bicycle shorts.

Collapsing into a patio chair he squinted contemplatively into the sky.

He had never been so aware of his urban upbringing as he was now. Up until a few days ago he had never even swam in a lake before. That first day, after slipping and cursing as he made his way into deeper water he was slowly struck by an oddly terrifying and unfamiliar sense of vastness. Looking down into the clear turquoise water, unable to see or touch the bottom, the silly childhood fear seized him: what if there was something down there?

He remembered how, as a boy, he would cling to the side of the pool, inching his way into the deep end imagining giant sharks and things with tentacles. Wolfgang had not been a child for long; he had shaken off the fear, cutting smooth lines in the glassy surface of the lake. Finally, he relaxed and floated, motionless on his back, feeling almost swallowed by the sky, grateful for the comforting shadow of the mountains, until the goose pimples on his arms reminded him that the lake was fucking freezing despite it being early-July.

He was following Nomi's instructions and was keeping a friendly, but low profile. So far he had driven into the town of Brienz twice to get food and movies for Felix. He had chatted politely with the cashiers, not disclosing any specific personal information.

Nomi was preoccupied with Will; he supposed they all were to some extent. He shared Capheus, Lito and Sun's frustration at not being able to do anything more. Give me a car, a lie, a fight they had thought in turn, then they could be useful. Wolfgang vaguely wondered what his role was meant to be: Give me a crime? Give me a chance to act out on my death wish?

"Don't be stupid," said Nomi, when she caught him thinking that way. "You are here for your street smarts."

Wolfgang snorted disbelievingly at that, but still did his best in helping Nomi find an untraceable place for Will to stay once he docked in London.

"Obviously, he can't stay there. Especially with those men looking for Riley." Nomi tapped her chin.

"It can't be anywhere too sparsely populated or with a well organized healthcare system, need bribable authorities..." Wolfgang pondered briefly. "Turkey?"

Nomi shook her head, "Refugee crisis. Increased security."

"Portugal?"

"Huge BPO research center."

And so it went. Even after Nomi left, he would lie awake in bed, worrying about Kala, worrying about Felix, worrying about Whispers or just caught up in the soup of emotions that was life inside a cluster.

He had, on Julia's suggestion, bought some sleeping pills, but after a string of nightmares about his father beating him, followed by dangerously sweet dreams of Kala in his bed, all topped off with an erection when he woke that rivaled his early-teenaged years in terms of urgency and inconvenience, he had tossed them into the very back of a drawer and refused to take them again.

On the sixth day in Switzerland Nomi appeared to him briefly as he was experimentally attempting eggs over easy.

"The police officer on your uncle's case should be here this afternoon, I have been tracking their communications. Do you remember your alibi?"

Wolfgang nodded, prodding at the pan.

"Don't forget to show them the text I sent from Sergi's phone."

"I wont." Wolfgang looked up, "Thank you, Nomi."

She looked a little surprised at that, but inclined her head before she vanished.

He was the picture of innocence and rural ease when the German police officer knocked on his door.

The officer was a large clean-shaven man, who smiled and politely declined his offer of a beer. Lito was hovering in his periphery as he indicated the patio seat across from him. Something about the way he held himself made him think of Will.

The officer consulted a small notebook. "We got your email, Herr Bogdanow, about the warning message your uncle sent to you. We were a surprised, however that you didn't contact the police."

Wolfgang shrugged. "You know as well as I do what my family was involved it. If my uncle tells me to do something I don't question it." He paused adopting a slightly fearful air. It didn't suit him, "He was a dangerous man, I tried not to get involved."

Lito was nodding encouragingly from his place to the officer's left side. Wolfgang wanted to punch him.

He offered his phone, dug up from the depths of his duffle bag and hastily charged; he never used the damn thing. "You may have my phone for evidence if you like."

The officer shook his head, "We have already requisitioned your phone records Herr Bogdanow." He had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. "It is an international investigation you know."

Wolfgang attempted a gracious nod. "Of course, is there anything else?" He had already handed in a written statement when the German police department contacted him two days ago.

"I would like to talk to your friend's nurse."

Wolfgang waved towards Felix's bedroom, "She is in there."

Julia, whom Wolfgang had been growing somewhat fond of despite her overwhelming tendency to ramble, held up to police questioning like a champion.

"That was not your first time," observed Wolfgang, after the officer left and all three of them were sprawled on the living room sofa (Felix somewhat immobilized by strategically placed pillows) a German soap playing on mute.

"No," Julia grinned. "Hacktivist, remember?" She paused, "Also did a little dealing in my youth."

"Of drugs?!" gasped Felix in mock horror, "My, my, and I have been placing my life in the hands of a criminal, to think..."

Julia rolled her eyes, "I am not a criminal, because I never got caught, dumbass."

Felix turned mournfully to Wolfgang, "You see, and now she is verbally abusing me."

"Says the person that called me some hideous German curse word yesterday, when I was too slow bringing you water."

"That was not a curse, it was a term of endearment!"

"Bullshit, you do know I speak some German, right?"

Felix, turned to look at Wolfgang, "Defend me Wolfie, you know I am never anything but a gentleman!"

Wolfgang rolled his eyes derisively, but he was feeling light, lighter than he had felt in a long while. Felix was on the mend, his name was likely going to be cleared, and they would be able to go back to Berlin. He did not think of Kala.

"I am going on a run." He announced, itching for the feel of the cool lake water on his skin.

He was halfway to the lake, and feeling good – of course it was all downhill to start with – when he was suddenly no longer sweating in the bright Swiss sunlight, but sucking in dry mouthfuls of foul tasting air in Mexico City.

It was dark and he and Lito were running down some sort of boulevard. Wolfgang coughed a little and then caught up to him.

"Fuck, the air is awful here."

Lito looked over at him slightly surprised. "This? This is nothing, the air is the best it has been for over 20 years." His breaths were slow and even. "I remember when I was a child, you would not see to the end of the street for the smog. " Fuck, he was in good shape, thought Wolfgang increasing his pace to keep up.

"Of course, Mexico was very different then," continued Lito. " Most people were farmers still, or ranchers, scraping a living in the desert. People are much richer now, which also means more cars." He pointed at a sticker on the back of a Beatle parked on the curb. "You need a permit to drive in the city, and then you can only do it on certain days."

Wolfgang looked around, "Is that an outdoor skating rink?" he asked gesturing to the brightly lit square they were passing by.

Lito nodded. "Yes it is new, the only one in Mexico."

"But it is a million fucking degrees here, it must cost a fortune to keep it cool. "

Lito laughed, "Mexicans are not always practical." He nudged Wolfgang. "We are more passionate, impulsive, romantic even, not reserved and, ah, utilitarian like you Germans."

"Although," Lito eyed him with theatrical seriousness, slowing the pace of his jog, and adopting a mystical tone "I see some passion in you."

"Fuck off," laughed Wolfgang.

"No, no, it is true," continued Lito, undeterred "A man that owns a bazooka like that -"

"- Are you flirting with me?"

"Do you mind?"

"No," Wolfgang laughed again. "So long as this doesn't end up in some lecture about how love will save us all or some telenovela shit."

"No, I save those for Hernando."

"Does he know?" Wolfgang asked. "About the cluster?"

"Yes," Lito smirked, "Eventually I had to explain to him what I meant by 'voices in my head' and why I would get randomly angry and emotional, or horny for no reason, whenever-"

"- whenever, Nomi and Aminita have sex, yeah I get that too." Wolfgang eyed Lito, who was beginning to increase his pace as he reached the end of the street. "At least the time difference isn't so bad for you."

"I suppose," said Lito "But they do have an awful lot of sex, and of course if you are not careful," He chuckled. "You get a repeat of our interesting little encounter with Will and Nomi."

"Poor Will," Wolfgang smirked.

"You didn't seem too phased by it."

Wolfgang shrugged. "Sex is sex."

"But you have been with men before?" asked Lito, now panting slightly as they climbed a gentle incline on the street.

"No," replied Wolfgang, " I have kissed men before, but it did not do much for me, so I never took it further." He paused. "It is different with the cluster, because you are not really you, right? You have the desires of everyone, not just yourself."

Lito nodded. "Might be awkward when we finally meet Aminita." They laughed slightly at the thought of that.

They were approaching a crosswalk, when a flicker of movement in front of them caught Wolfgang's attention. He stiffened sensing a threat.

Lito felt it too, "What is it?"

Wolfgang furtively scanned the street. "The car ahead of us, the black one its- " but it was too late. A black-gloved fist slammed into Lito's stomach. A vicious kick kept him on the ground.

"Fucking faggot!" growled a masked man, "Fucking pansy."

Sun was with them in an instant, fury and anticipation glittering in her eyes. They looked at each other, together, was the unspoken agreement. In unison, their hands formed fists. Sun knocked the legs out from the attacker, while Wolfgang scanned the street.

"There are two more men coming."

"Bring them," growled Sun. She aimed a well-placed kick at the first attackers ribs. They fought together, back to back, although in reality they were only one body. Lito's body effortlessly slid between her graceful kicks, and Wolfgang's efficient, brutal punches, injuries forgotten for the time. The attackers only managed to touch them once, when a glancing blow to Sun's stomach disorientated him and he felt an arm lock around his throat. For a moment he was lost in Kala's sickening fear, before Sun took over and effortlessly flipped the man over her head.

Wolfgang knelt beside the first attacker, and placed a knee on his sternum, feeling the grinding of his broken ribs.

"Don't you ever call me that again," he said fury still coursing through them. "You fucking bigoted coward."

He let him go, watched them scurry into their car and drive away, tires squealing. They were muttering to themselves in fear and astonishment. Good.

Then it was just he and Lito again, the latter looking winded but otherwise unharmed.

"Has that ever happened before?" Wolfgang demanded.

Lito shook his head slowly. "Nothing so direct; mostly just some threating fan mail, some sideways comments from my co-workers."

"You need to hire extra security."

Lito laughed breathlessly. "Why? I am a ninja! I just took out three men like it was nothing."

"I am serious," warned Wolfgang.

Lito, sighed, "Yes, fine. I will." He managed a grin; if he was hurt by the attacker's words he was hiding it well. Wolfgang didn't look past that, trying to give him the privacy of his feelings. "Who would have thought you had a protective streak?"

"I killed my entire family to protect Felix."

"Ay, that's right." Lito looked slightly abashed, "I'm sorry man."

Wolfgang waved him off, feigning dismissiveness, "It is nothing. We protect each other."

And that was the truth; he could feel them now, the rest of the cluster appearing beside them. Riley and Nomi checking Lito for injuries. Capheus pulling Sun in for a hug, praising her with victorious shouts of Van Damme!, Van Damme!. Kala standing so close to him he could almost feel the brush of her hair against his arm.

She was wearing a bright yellow dress that glowed under the streetlamps. It was raining in Mumbai; he could see a few drops of water clinging to her skin, her long dark eyelashes.

Get ahold of yourself, he firmly reprimanded himself, you are not a kid anymore - mooning over some pretty girl. But his body was flushed with adrenaline, all of theirs were. Fighting always did this to him, as if his brain wanted to remind his body that he was still alive. And he couldn't help himself, watching the progression of the little drops of rain, down the slope of her neck, slowing to brush over her collarbones, just was he would, before continuing down...

She had turned to look at him; probably because he was staring at her like an idiot. The desire that he was fighting so hard his jaw ached was reflected in her expression was she looked up at him. She could never really hide anything, not like he could.

Kala. She wasn't looking at him like she as pissed, or disgusted, not at all how he expected she would. Instead there was softness, understanding, some reproach perhaps, but – if he asked for it – forgiveness. That was the most terrifying thing of all.

Lust was replaced with something more complex. Fuck. It would never be that simple with her, he was a fool to imagine it could be.

There had been a girl, Katrin, although everyone had just called her Kat. She was tall, a volleyball player, playing at teenage rebellion; sneaking away from team practices to smoke with the misfits, or whatever the fuck they called the kind of people Wolfgang hung around. She had a boyfriend, also a volleyball player, but that didn't stop her from hanging on his arm, laughing calling him 'Wolfie'. He had to hide a cringe every time she did; only Felix was allowed to call him that name.

By that time he was working part-time at his lock-smithing apprenticeship, full-time for the family business. He must have been seventeen, eighteen at most, still he had been in the game long enough to know he couldn't give her what she wanted. Seventeen: smart enough to know better, stupid enough not to care. They had only slept together once; he had been a little high and a lot drunk, she hadn't told him it was her first time until it was too late.

He remembered sitting in her room afterwards, light from the streets shining off all the trophies and medals on her wall, suddenly sober as he had ever been, fighting the urge to flee. How had he missed it? How had he mistaken smooth skin and a large friend group for self-confidence? Mistaken the infatuation in her eyes for simple attraction?

He hadn't really believed that he could affect anyone that way until then; usually people hurt him, not the other way around. He never would make that mistake again.

At least he thought he wouldn't, but there was Kala sitting in the passenger seat of his car, eyes full of that terrible vulnerability, the words he didn't want to face sitting between them. Only this time it was worse, so much worse, because by that time he wanted so much more from her.

And perhaps worst of all, she knew it. Just like she knew now, just like everyone in the cluster probably knew but were being too polite to say anything too direct about.

Wolfgang forced himself back to the present moment, where Kala had already walked past him. She was smiling at something Lito was saying, Nomi had her had resting lightly on her shoulder. He watched as she tilted her head back in laughter, as Lito began to pantomime the attacker's running away. Laughing just a little too much, laughing to try and smooth over the humiliation coming from Lito that was like an exposed nerve.

Inevitable indeed, thought Wolfgang grimly, before returning to Switzerland. Mind absent, his body had found itself standing aimlessly in a wet ditch by the road. Wolfgang stifled an irritated sigh at the mud now seeping into his socks, and jogged the last few meters to the water before diving head-first, shoes and all into the welcome cold of Lake Brienz.


Thank you to everyone that has stuck with me so far!

And special thank you to May (your review was so sweet made me tear up a little not going to lie)