This chapter provides the background. Just to clarify, Zero never had Yuki after Shizuka bit him.


I was sitting in the room, surrounded by hunters. Kaname had told me not to show any expression, that my role there was solely as his partner, nothing else. So I had dressed that part, the high heels he had picked from me, the pearl necklace he had chosen and polished my nails just as he liked. But he had let me choose the dress I wanted. So I chose the one dress I knew Zero would have loved. A white dress. I remember Zero telling me how lovely I looked in white, how innocent and sweet. Dear Zero, am I sweet and innocent to you now? Do I still look lovely in your eyes?

I watched as he entered the room, his walk elegantly powerful, and his eyes stone cold, blank, dead. I gripped Kaname's arms, afraid that if I didn't, I might run into Zero's arms, trying to revive him. I sat down diagonally from Zero but the mirrors around the room helped me observe him. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore; they were staring straight at the stone wall. His body was stiff, tense; just like the atmosphere in the room, his knuckles white. There was nothing about him that showed that I was anything to him. And that fact both hurt me and made me feel better.

Kaname shook Chairman's hand for the last time and Zero was the first one out. Perhaps because he was closest to the door. I placed my hand on Kaname's again, because I was afraid that I might run after Zero if I didn't. I saw the Chairman trying to get him to stay for the Christmas ball and him banging the door. I take it as he didn't take too kindly to socializing with us 'monsters in human form'.

I turned to Kaname.
"What is it, Yuki?"
"We'll be going home tomorrow right?"
"Yes, first thing tomorrow morning. I have more work elsewhere the day after."
"I'm not needed here anymore am I?"
Kaname paused a while before saying, "No. If you want to go to town, I can get Aidou to escort you."
"I've stayed here by myself last time. It's okay. I just want to go visit Yori."
There was a flicker of mistrust in Kaname's eyes, but he said the words I wanted to hear. "Okay, but don't be gone too long."
I smiled at him, the man who loved me who knew I loved someone else. "Thank you, Kaname-sama."


I boarded the bus. It was Christmas Eve and the town was beautifully decorated. It looked like a village just out of those Christmas cards. I looked to the seat next to mine. A girl was leaning on her male companion's shoulder. Once upon a time, that was Zero and I. I looked to the seats in front of me. A boy removed his jacket and put it around his shivering girlfriend. Once upon a time, that was Zero and I. Another girl gave her boyfriend a peck on the cheek and he responded by pulling her closer to him. Once upon a time, that was Zero and I. I squeezed back the tears that were threatening to fall and got off the bus. I walked the streets, past a pub, remembering the first time I met Zero.


I had been a bartender and he had been a hunter searching for prey there. A fight had erupted, tables and chairs flew in all directions and I had taken cover under the bar. The other bartender on duty, this fat man, was treating the fight as if it didn't exist. Carl was still calmly wiping the glasses clean and when I gestured at him to take cover; he shrugged and said, "We need to clean up the aftermath. Might as well do whatever work we can now."

When the fight ended, Carl mixed up a gin and tonic and pushed it across to the silver-haired man who had taken on 5 others.
"A little sloppy today aren't we Kiryuu?"
"I didn't want to waste any bullets on them."
Bullets? Sloppy? Was this something of a usual occurrence here?
"Get down from there, Yuki. Just arrange whatever you can."
I peeked up from under the bar and surveyed the place. This tattooed young man had destroyed almost half the tables and a third of the chairs in the place. "Arrange what?" I stood up.

"See, Kiryuu. Arrange what? That's a very good question. You see Kiryuu, because you didn't want to 'waste bullets', you've destroyed practically everything and now Yuki here has nothing to arrange."
"I saved her a lot of work."
How arrogant, he was talking about me as if I wasn't around.
"Tables aren't meant to be shields and chairs aren't meant to be projectile missiles to be hurled around. You can leave now Yuki, since Kiryuu here has solved your overwork problem."
Kiryuu finished his drink and walked out.
"What about the damage?" Carl called after him.
"Put it on the tab."
"Great. The tab…" Carl muttered. "Don't worry too much about this, Yuki. He's a good guy."
I found it hard to believe but I nodded anyway and waved goodbye.

Up ahead of me, I could see the faint outline of his body. I followed the same route he was taking, even up to the building he was entering, even up the stairs to the same floor. He turned around and glared at me when both of us were on the top floor that only had two other doors.
"Why are you following me?" he had demanded.
I took out my keys and jingled them in front of him. "Don't be so sensitive," I had retorted as I unlocked my door and entered.
Moments later, I heard his door close with a crash.


I found myself following the same route again, the same route that had let me to his apartment more than a year ago. I was outside his door. I leaned against the door and inhaled. He wasn't in. But his deliciously musky scent was thick in the air. I gathered that he still lived here. Either that or he came frequently. I wondered if the spare key was still in the same place it used to be. It was. And I opened the door.

For some reason, the place looked odd. It didn't feel like coming home. I closed the door behind me. I looked around and realized why. The pictures of us were gone. The vase of flowers I used to replace every three days was gone. It was cold and drab, but that doesn't mean that I didn't like it here.

Compared to Kaname's palace, this place was better. I had fond memories with Zero here, whereas there, I spend more lonely days than I ever did when I was with Zero. I walked to the kitchen area, remembering how he would be pouring himself a drink and I would sneak up from behind and hold him and he would turn his head, smile softly and kiss my forehead. I walked into the bathroom, remembering how we would argue over who uses it first despite knowing that he would relent and let me go first then I would feel bad and tell him we can brush our teeth together.

I remember the first time he took blood from me. I remember entering the bathroom, seeing him on the floor with blood everywhere, knowing that he was hurting himself, knowing that he was trying to keep me away from his dark secret, knowing that I had to force myself into his world, no matter what. I remembered the look on his face, contorted in pain, his eyes a whirlpool of emotions that consisted of only pain. And his pain became my pain, because it pained me to see him that way. I barged into his world, because I couldn't stand seeing him withstand so much pain alone, couldn't bear to watch him sink deeper and deeper into the depths of his personal hell I had yet to understand.

I closed my eyes and let myself sink down to the floor, letting his warmth envelop me in his sweet embrace.

Then I heard the door open.


Guess who's home?