AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hellow Mina-san! How are you? Haha here's another drabble from me. This chap is like crack humor but not so weird as Sorachi's ideas haha. I tried and hope you like it!
A massive thanks for everyone who favourites and follows this story! Feels so appreciated! Ginhiji rocks the world. Love to hear from you! Enjoy reading!
Dessert? Well, just Gintoki in an apron will do. Mayo topping please.
~ Hijikata
"Welcome ladies and gentleman! My name is Hasegawa aka Madao-san des! I will be your MC for tonight. What is so special about tonight, you may ask? Well, lo and behold, in commemorating one of our Devas' birthday, Otose-san, we will conduct a Parfait competition, Mina-san!"
The crowd cheers below the stage as Hasegawa in his cardboard suit waves both hands high, imitating the excitement. Everyone is hyped up for the competition, sparkly eyes set on the stage. Adorned by colourful lights, the stage marks as one of the biggest stages they ever built for this celebration. The competition is the main highlight of the night in Kabuki District.
Hasegawa smiles from ear to ear and speaks through his microphone. "We have altogether 6 pairs of contestants standing behind their kitchen table, ever ready to make their best kind of parfait. The winner who gets the most points from our judges will win 1 year supply of Parfaits! Isn't that incredible or what?!"
The MC walks further to the table of judges and introduces them. "Let's introduce our judges! First, we have Saigo-san! Second, Tama-san! And last but not least, our guest of honour, and also birthday girl, Otose-san!"
A large applause comes after the introduction. Hasegawa returns to the center of stage. "Now lets go over the rules. The contestants are given ten minutes to prepare a parfait from the ingredients in the fridge allocated in every cubicle. They can use any utensil provided. But hear this one closely. No wasting of ingredients or eating them. If caught, you will be disqualified. That is the end of the rules. So contestants, are you ready?!"
"Yeah!" the contestants cheer twice as loud as Hasegawa.
"On count of three," Hasegawa points the popper to the sky and shoots its contents with a bang. "Three! Time starts now!"
The crowd gives their loudest cheer as the contestants rush to prepare the dessert.
"Aneuhe! Aneuhe!" Shinpachi panicks when he sees her sister lights up the stove. "We're making parfaits! Not omelette!"
Otae hums behind her poker smile. "Shin-chan, listen to your older sister. I really believe my Tamagoyaki will taste nice with Bargain Dash."
Shinpachi drops his forehead against the tabletop. "Don't bet on it, Aneuhe."
"This is our chance, Elizabeth! If we win this, we can lure the shogun with one year supply of ice-creams and trick him to eating them, making him fat and unfit to become the leader of our country! Sometimes a samurai must adopt a cunning method even if it has to do with ice-cream! We'll show him who is cool! Let's start!" Katsura pulls his sleeves up and opens the ice cream box. "Shibata."
Elizabeth raises a sign saying. "What's wrong?"
Katsura looks at Elizabeth. "Hand me a spoon. It's Nutella ice cream. I cannot let the judges eat this."
"It's your favourite," Elizabeth raises another sign with half-closed eyes.
"It's not favourite! It's Ka-tsu-tsu-ra, da!" the samurai replies with spoon in his mouth.
"Captain Katsura, Elizabeth, disqualified!"
"This is my chance to win Gin-san for myself! If I win this for him, we will be making S&M plays every night! Kyaaaa! I can't wait! He definitely will love strawberries- Oi! What are you doing, Tsukuyo-san?!" Sarutobi squeals when Tsukuyo covers the kunai in the parfait cup with vanilla ice-cream.
The blonde lady looks at the ninja girl. "Surprise element will make our parfait stand out."
"No it won't!" Sarutobi throws strawberries at Tsukuyo. "Why the hell did I even pair with you?!"
"No one else will."
"Sarutobi, Tsukuyo, disqualified!"
"Tama-san! I will show you the man I am. I can make parfaits and show you I'm capable to do anything for you. Now I have to cut the bananas. Chief!" Yamazaki cries when his partner starts munching on the yellow fruit. "Don't!"
"Gomen, Zaki!" Kondo laughs. "Suddenly, seeing all the bananas makes me hungry!"
"Gorilla-chief!"
"Yamazaki, Kondo, disqualified!"
"Yare, yare. A bunch of idiots dares to enter the competition but cannot even keep up with the rules. What a pain in the ass," Gintoki sighs behind a smirk, looking at the contestants who are leaving the stage.
After a brief sneering chuckle, Gintoki dawns on his nearly finished parfait in which he puts his favourite strawberries, pudding jelly and chocolate candies mixed inside vanilla and strawberry ice cream. The sight of the perfectly combined ingredients is so irresistible that Gintoki drools and resists his inner demon not to eat it now.
The other demon however is calmly sitting on his stool, unmoved.
"Oi Teme!" Gintoki barks at his partner. "Don't just sit there! Help me out!"
Hijikata snarls. "Ah?! No way I'm doing this! Just because you don't have anyone else to pair up with you, you drag me in. What a joke. I have plenty of reports to do."
"Stop being a naggy woman and come here!" Gintoki orders, with one hand holding an ice-cream scoop.
Hijikata however is in a daze, watching how the pink apron with pink frills hugs the silverhead's body tightly. If only he is holding a bowl of mayonnaise instead, Hijikata will definitely jump on him and lick any mayonnaise spillled on his body.
That is a dessert right there. Hijikata grins.
"Oi Mayora!"
The ice-cream scoop hits his head, ceasing his daydream. The vice-chief pouts, rubbing his wound. "What, baka Yorozuya?!"
Gintoki holds out his parfait cup for Hijikata to see. "What do you think? Do you think we can win?"
Hijikata looks up at the crimson eyes instead, which are eagerly waiting for something good out of Hijikata's mouth. Gintoki looks back like a child showing his parents his grade A paper. A hard swallow is all Hijikata does, trying to tame his desires from kissing those lips. It annoys him how Gintoki is completely clueless at the way he acts around Hijikata, especially in that cute outfit.
Have mercy on me, Hijikata cusses in his head and looks into Gintoki's eyes. "It's trash. I won't eat such a thing."
The eyebrows dip in anger as Gintoki blinks away. "Whatever! I'm just asking the wrong guy!"
Hijikata huffs and looks away. He just has a weird way of expressing himself when he is around Gintoki. Of course he wants to praise the silverhead and makes him happy. But if Gintoki is going to smile with sparkly eyes and bear in mind, in that outfit of all things, hell breaks loose.
Shinsengumi will need to find a new vice-chief and Otose will regret having a parfait near her on her birthday ever again.
In short, Hijikata will suck Gintoki's cream in front of everyone. Period.
"You only have one minute left!" Hasegawa announces loudly along with restlessness from the spectators.
"Move, you ass!" Gintoki grumbles.
Hijikata stammers. "W-what now?!"
"Get the whipped cream in the fridge! In the fridge!"
"I know! I know!" Hijikata rushes to the fridge and opens the door. "Which one?"
"Ah?! Can't you read? Don't tell me you can't read katakana, Teme!"
"Uruse nah! I can read dammit! I'm asking which one-"
"Red cap! Red cap! Ah, where is the chocolate sauce bottle? I thought I saw it here just now!"
"Just calm down and find it slowly!"
"Don't tell me to calm down! This competition is just a joke to you, right? I'll win this on my own, baka!" Gintoki shouts as he rummages through the rack for the chocolate bottle. "Ahh here it is!"
"Thirty seconds left!"
"Kuso! The cap won't open!" Gintoki struggles to twist the cap.
"Ten seconds!"
"Yosh! It is opened!" Gintoki hurries to the parfait. "Did you put the whipped cream?"
"Yeah," Hijikata mutters, not looking at Gintoki.
"Three, two, one!"
Gintoki does not have a chance to ask Hijikata further or even take a look at the whipped cream. Quickly he swirls the chocolate sauce around the pile of whipped cream and with one pinch, Gintoki tosses a few rainbow sprinkles. A young lady appears and is ready to collect the parfait for the judges' testing. When she holds it in her hand, Gintoki flinches as he just notices the pale yellowness of the whipped cream.
His hands grab Hijikata by the jacket. "Teme, did you put your dog food inside my parfait?!"
The vice-chief refuses to look at Gintoki. "It's the only red cap I know."
"No!" Gintoki howls in mortification, dropping on his knees with his hands covering his face. Listening to the girl's footsteps, Gintoki jolts into a stand and reaches his hand out. "Wait, Miss! I have to remove something!"
"No can do, baka Sakata," Catherine sticks out her tongue and carries the parfait away.
"Don"t worry, Yorozuya," Hijikata folds his arms and manages to grin with creasing brows. "It's low fat mayo. The almighty flavour will win this competition."
The silverhead drops his head still bowing low. "Whatever. It's over. I'm going home."
"Oi," Hijikata grabs his hand, the attached hands hidden under the table. "Don't give up."
"What makes you think anyone will be happy eating mayo with ice cream, huh?!" Gintoki barks back.
Hijikata blinks. "I will be happy."
Reached his limit of patience, Gintoki clicks his tongue. "Forget it. Let go my hand."
"No," Hijikata sighs. "Stay until the results are out."
"Why would I want to disgrace myself?"
"Baka," Hijikata lets out a soothing voice, enough to make Gintoki look at him endearingly. "A samurai won't run away from a fight."
The hand of Hijikata laces their fingers with Gintoki's, clasping their hands tightly. Gintoki can feel Hijikata's upbeat pulse against his.
"A lover doesn't give up from a fight too. We'll win."
Embarrassed, Gintoki looks forward, letting the silver locks hide his reddened cheeks. "You're an idiot. Please remind me why I want to be with you."
Hijikata chuckles. "I'm the only one you can love and hate, fight and kiss, curse and beg, and many more. We both can always do both ways."
"Bahahaha!" Gintoki throws his head back for a loud laughter. "Pervert Hijikata is hilarious."
"Shut up!" Hijikata bites on his cigarette and looks at the judges scooping the parfaits to taste them. "Seriously, having the judges who have lack of expressions is troublesome. I can't tell whether they like it or not. What do you think, Gintoki?"
Hijikata looks at the silverhead who is not even looking at the judges. He is looking at Hijikata rather attentively, wearing a smirk that speaks thousands of ways Gintoki wants to do with him. Hijikata grits his teeth, annoyed at his loss of focus on the competition.
"Oi, look at the judges, Yorozuya!"
"Ne, Hijikata. Are you happy?"
"Ah? What are you talking-"
"Holding my hand so tightly?"
"A-As if I-I will!" Hijikata looks away. "Seriously, pay attention-"
A quick tug pulls Hijikata nearer to Gintoki, Hijikata feeling his waist touching his. "Answer me."
This time, it is Gintoki's hand becoming the dominant one, pinning Hijikata down with the clasp of hands. Hijikata is blooming red that he can melt all the ice cream around him.
"Too close," Hijikata mutters.
"Ah?"
"Too close! You're getting too close!" Hijikata whispers in his high pitched voice.
"Don't blame me. You're the one pulling me."
"No, I'm not!"
"Hijikata-kun, can you resist me alittle? People are watching us."
"Teme! You're pulling! You're pulling!" Hijikata hisses at the man's ear.
"We can kiss later and more of course. Just for now, please put down your sword."
"Stop messing with me, Gintoki!"
"There's something you wanma tell me, right? Just say it."
"Over my dead body! Teme, don't dream of me saying anything about your apron."
"Apron? I didn't say apron. So it is me and the apron? What is it?"
"Nothing!"
"Ah, Hijikata! Is foreplay really necessary now? Just because you're wearing black, don't think I can't see that bulge-"
"Fine! Fine! I say it! You and the apron, it-it-"
"Yes, yes, I'm listening."
"It turns me on."
"I see," Gintoki widens his smirk and pinches the frills, twisting it playfully. "You're into this cute stuff. Why did I not think of that? Ah, because you're already cute, honey. I like you more naked."
"Urusaiiiii!" the tomato face grips Gintoki's collar and shakes it. "What are you thinking when you're talking like this right now?! Can you be more discreet?! The whole Kabuki is watching us!"
"Ano, Gin-san. Hijikata-san."
The two men turn their heads towards the MC. "What?"
"The show is finished. You guys can leave."
The two men look around and find everyone is gone. They were so caught up with their conversation that they did not pay attention to their surroundings.
"Too bad," Hasegawa chuckles nervously. "Your team didn't win."
"No way!" Hijikata leans forward. "How can mayonnaise not win?!"
Gintoki slaps his head. "Aho ka, omaera! I told you it won't work. This is coming from someone who eats nothing but parfaits, please!"
"Yeah," Hasegawa nods. "The winner was Okita-san and Kagura-chan."
"Wait, what?" Gintoki gapes. "Why? Why? Why, Hasegawa-san?"
"Why did Sougo even pair up with China?!" Hijikata fumes.
Hasegawa retreats aliltte, sweating. "They make a very delicious parfait together. The judges love it! They can feel the love the two kids put in when making it. So they won!"
"Ours was made from love too, ya know," Gintoki comments stubbornly not admitting defeat.
"But when we asked them how they feel after they won the prize..."
"I'm gonna make China fat and make her my slave," Sougo stated coldly.
Kagura flared a laugh. "Teme! I don't mind growing fat for you! It's better than having egg on rice everyday!"
Gintoki and Hijikata drop their shoulders dramatically. "That is what you call love?"
"Don't know," Hasegawa shrugs and waves a goodbye.
"Ahh, there goes my chance to indulge on parfaits all year round. It seems that losing is not really an option in this case," Gintoki claims, as his hands releases Hijikata's before cupping his bosoms. "So I choose you, Hijikata-kun. Make me feel good tonight."
"Don't take off the apron."
"Hai hai."
Smirk smirk haha! Hope you enjoy this piece! It's so fun for me! Let me know what you think haha!
See ya again next chappie!
